Kay's Awareness of Blue
by Haeva
Summary: Finished! Kay falls for her TA Nicholas, just as she is attempting to get over Miguel. Who will she choose? Who will be chosen for her?
1. Becoming Aware

AN: An AU, but everything will be described as the story "unfolds" so to speak. Read and review as you like  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Kay walked through campus, smiling at the folks she knew, and enjoying the view. It wasn't often that she remembered to pull herself out of the sarcastic, constant state of cultural interrogation that she engaged in to simply enjoy the view, but the scenery was all the more precious when she did. Suddenly, the world was inverted and she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder and a striking numbness in her ankle.  
  
"Shoot" she yelped. "I can't believe I did this again!" Ignoring the snickers and polite offers of help as she lay sprawled across the front lawn of campus, Kay mentally surveyed the damage she was sure to come with the confidence of a lifelong klutz. Let's see she thought, the ankle should be fine for a few hours, the shoulder is going to hurt right up until the ankle swells up, better stand up quickly so the leg doesn't get too stiff.  
  
"Kay, what in the world?" Miguel asked, grinning down at his best friend. "Did you fall again?"  
  
"Shut up and help me up," she said without looking at him.  
  
"Does this mean that you're going to be walking funny again? I've had a rough week, I could deal with the laughs."  
  
"Miguel, I would smack you if I didn't need you to help me up," she paused for effect as she slowly turned around and looked at him. "But if you don't give me a hand, I won't have a reason to exercise restraint."  
  
Still laughing at pointing with his free hand, Miguel reached down to help her up. As they began to make progress away from the scene of the fall, someone came up and asked "Are you alright, Kay? That was a pretty rough fall."  
  
"I'll be fine eventually," she replied shortly, "But in the meantime, people coming up to me and asking how I'm doing while describing how badly I looked going down should do wonders for my health."  
  
Miguel snorted and wacked her on the arm. "Kay!" She grinned his way as the unsuspecting well-wisher hurried off.  
  
"What?" she replied innocently.  
  
"Nothing at all," he said. He looped arms with her as they slowly made their way off, "Let's get you home and order in before that bad boy starts to swell." Kay gladly agreed, not minding the excuse to skip out on dinner in the caf.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You guys, the problem is that people just don't recognize their privilege," Kay was in her element. A captive audience, agreeing with her every word as she ranted about the unawareness of her peers on campus was all she needed to forget her falling woes. "If people understood the concept of majority-ness, the state of being in the majority and how that is an identity in itself, instead of simply hoping that the minority will one day overcome identity itself to conform."  
  
"Excuse me, but may I ask what your background is?" a voice from the audience asked.  
  
"I'm sorry?" Kay jerked out of the heightened state of understanding she always felt when speaking about what she believed in. "Who asked that question?"  
  
A tall, slim, but well-built blonde man stood up slowly and replied, "I did. I was just wondering, what is your background.. Uhhh, Kim, is it?"  
  
Kay recovered quickly, "No, it's Kay. Kay Bennett. And please, introduce yourself and clarify your question for the rest of us," she replied smartly.  
  
"My name is Nicolas Crane. And what I mean by background is that I was wondering about your family's economic status when you were growing up. You're speaking to us about privilege, but we haven't heard anything that suggests you've confronted your own."  
  
Startled whispers and sudden snorts of laughter shot through the audience. Kay, for her part, kept her composure, while internally fuming at the audacity of this Nicolas Crane.  
  
"I don't see how that could possibly be relevant but."  
  
"Oh, but surely you do, Kay Bennett," Nicolas grinned broadly, almost startling Kay into responding with a smile of similar wattage. "You must see that your life, if you have managed to confront your own privilege, could serve as a wonderful demonstration to the rest of us as to how we may move beyond simple guilt to productivity and progress."  
  
Trained by years of social marginalization and the nerve that comes along with it, Kay responded, "That's a wonderful point, and I'm pleased that you've paid so much attention to my presentation. My background is indeed one of economic privilege and I confront it through recognition and constant interrogation of my motives."  
  
"A wonderful, politician's answer, Kay Bennett," Nicolas' smile almost imperceptibly transformed into a smirk. "But since you culturally aware types are always into action and affecting change, how do you turn that interrogation into productivity?"  
  
Knowing when to quit while ahead, Kay continued relying on her political science training. "Again, wonderful and perceptive question, Nicolas, but one that will have to wait for our next meeting," Kay lifted her wrist and glanced obviously at her watch. "Yes, we have now reached the end of this discussion session, but I look forward to seeing you all here at the meeting next week. This meeting of AWARE is hereby dismissed."  
  
A few minutes later After accepting the praise of her peers for yet another heartfelt and inspiring piece, Kay scanned the remaining people in the audience. Never one to back down from an obvious challenge, Kay walked slowly, yet purposefully towards the place where Nicolas was sitting.  
  
She smiled carefully down at him, mentally taking in his appearance and self-carriage. She observed a young man her own age, perhaps a couple of years older, self-confident, but, as she inspected more closely, not as a result of his clear physical perfection, but something else. Yes, that's it, I suppose. He's used to being right, Kay thought. Well, we're going to have to fix that aren't we?  
  
At the same time that Kay's internal assessment was taking place, Nicolas was conducting one of his own. He saw a tall woman, rather heavyset, with a good hair cut that was totally unflattering and nice clothing that was completely ill-fitting. Her self-confidence was evident, but it appeared to rest on her like the clothing - forced onto a form not quite comfortable with it. He suddenly felt the need to back off, sensing that Kay needed this victory much more than he did.  
  
Nicolas returned Kay's careful smile with a genuineness that he hadn't felt when he was teasing her earlier.  
  
"That was quite a presentation. What exactly does AWARE stand for?" he asked her.  
  
Kay, understanding that something had changed in his attitude, but not quite sure what, decided to cautiously match his response in kind. "It's an acronym for Awareness Watch." she paused as she internally spelled "aware". "for Action Required for Equity," she finished with a smile.  
  
"So basically, you took your main tenet, turned it into an acronym and then made up the words it would stand for."  
  
She grinned widely, her quirky sense of humor activated by his candor. "Even better. Someone came up to a table where I was passing out anti-war literature one day, and asked me what group I represented. I was there filling in for a friend, but it sounded like a good idea to have my own group, so I made it up on the spot."  
  
Nicolas laughed quite possibly the most attractive laugh that Kay had ever heard.  
  
Encouraged, she continued, "Your question was quite unusual."  
  
Nicolas's smile faltered as he blushed slightly. "I'm sorry about that, I have a bad habit of."  
  
"Oh, it's aight," Kay interjected, "I was going to say that I was glad to hear someone question me, it shows that you were paying attention. I sometimes worry that people are awed by my ability to speak and not what I'm actually saying."  
  
Nicolas's good humor returned. "Ah, she's modest and attractive," he grinned.  
  
Kay blushed, knowing that neither was true. "Yeah, well, I try." She paused, not wanting the conversation to end, but having nothing else to say. "Well, Nicolas, it was nice mee."  
  
"Hey, where are you headed now?" he interrupted, not looking forward to the end of the exchange any more than she was.  
  
"Just to the dorm for now. How about you, do you live on campus?" she asked.  
  
His smirk returned, not nearly as offensive as the first time she saw it when he was grilling her. "Nah, I'll leave that honor to the undergrads. I have an apartment in the burbs. I actually better move my car before the meter runs out," he admits reluctantly.  
  
Kay was upset to learn that he was a graduate student. Not that she'd had a chance with him before, but graduate students tended to look on undergrads as children, despite the small difference in age. "Oh, well. umm." she stuttered, searching quickly for something to say. "Well, my dorm is on the way to the parking lot, I'll walk with you."  
  
"You can be my protection," Nicolas quipped.  
  
Kay was sobered, instantly aware that she was significantly larger than Nicolas. Although he was taller than her by a couple of inches, her weight problem definitely made her the natural protector and he the protected. "Yeah, sure," she said calmly, and began to gather her things and walk quickly out of the room.  
  
"Whoah! Slow down there, Kay!" Nicolas called as he quickly shrugged on his coat and hurried after her. "The meter won't run out for at least ten minutes," he said as he caught up with her.  
  
She couldn't help but to grin over at him. "Isn't that lucky?..." She was once again unsure of what to say next.  
  
Fortunately, Nicolas wasn't quite as speechless. "So what are you studying? I assume political science?"  
  
"How'd you guess?" Kay smirked. "Actually, I'm double majoring in anthropology. I figure all politicians should have a little dose of cultural understanding to be truly effective at what they do."  
  
"I completely agree," Nicolas said.  
  
"Oh you do, huh? So what are you studying? Are you working on a masters or doctorate?"  
  
"I'm working on a master's right now in East Asian studies, actually."  
  
"Well, that's something I have nothing to comment on, being totally unknowledgeable on the subject." She paused, but continued just as he was about to, "Which means you're in luck and should probably win an award for getting me to admit any lack of knowledge." Nicolas laughed out loud again. "Well, isn't it actually an appropriation of knowledge to disclaim it?"  
  
Kay stopped in her tracks. She'd never met anyone who could read her so effectively.  
  
"That's GREAT!" Nicolas looked startled at her enthusiasm.  
  
"Happy to please, Kay Bennett."  
  
"Well, this is my building. It was nice bantering with ya, Nicolas Crane."  
  
"Likewise, Kay Bennett. I hope to have the fortune to do so again."  
  
"Sure ya do," she smirked.  
  
"Kay Bennett, I can't wait," Nicolas responded with an awkward intensity.  
  
Unsure of what to make of this awkwardness, which sat so strangely on the man's beautiful shoulders, Kay slowly backed away towards the front door. "Well, I'll see you around then. Bye, Nicolas."  
  
"Bye, Kay." 


	2. Fitting

Chapter 2  
  
Miguel smirked. "Look at those two," he whispered to Kay. The two were walking down the Main Street in their college town of Harmony.  
  
"What am I looking for?" she whispered back. Kay had a pretty good idea of what Miguel was smirking about, but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.  
  
"Oh come on. You can't tell me that they don't look just the slightest bit goofy together," he looked at her, a little confused by her lack of reaction.  
  
"I have no clue what you're talking about," Kay ignored his inspection of her expression and continued walking down the street. Benefit of the doubt revoked, she thought to herself. Miguel really was a twit sometimes.  
  
"Oh," he replied, looking as if he'd just resolved something for himself, "you must have missed it then. there was this funny lookin' couple who."  
  
"She was wearing black boots, he had on a black leather jacket with a Boss label on the sleeve?" Kay stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked directly at Miguel as she was speaking.  
  
"Uhh.. yeah, that was them," his smirk reappeared. "So you know what I'm talking about."  
  
"No, I don't." Kay began walking briskly again.  
  
"Jeez, Kay, I've never seen you move this fast in my life," Miguel complained. "Anyway, I was talking about how ridiculous they looked together. She was a good three inches taller than him and twice his size. You can't tell me you don't think that looked a little strange, that they just don't fit together as a couple" Miguel couldn't figure out what was wrong with his buddy. She was always making fun of people with him but she seemed to be intentionally ignoring the opportunity to do so now.  
  
Kay once again stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, so abruptly that Miguel nearly walked by her before she grabbed the sleeve of his jacket. She seemed to be struggling to formulate a response. Finally, she blurted out, "Look, there's Eddie Bower, let's see what's new."  
  
Miguel, never able to pass up an opportunity to update his gray sweater collection, accepted the bizarre change of subject with a shrug and followed Kay into the store, the incident forgotten. 


	3. Miguel's Unawareness

Chapter 3  
  
"Miguel, we're gonna be late if you don't move your butt!" Kay yelled up to the stairs of Miguel's apartment. She was excited to be going to the first event of the new term. Sophomore year in college, as far as she was concerned, was the time to let loose after a year of learning the ropes.  
  
"You know, you could go without me!" He yelled back.  
  
"You're the one dragging us to this thing; I wouldn't have even heard about it unless you'd said something at dinner last night!"  
  
"Well, now we're both going; I RSVP'ed for you!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Kay yelled back up. "Who does that?!"  
  
Miguel appeared at the top of the stairs. "No need to yell," he smirked. "I can hear you just fine."  
  
"Fu-uuuny," Kay replied. "As I was saying, who RSVP's for someone who they haven't even told about the event?"  
  
"Well, I was going, so you're going, that's just the way it is," Miguel couldn't tell if Kay was really perturbed or just teasing him. He played it safe and went for simple explanations. "I just thought you'd want to go, what's the big deal?"  
  
Kay wasn't sure herself what the big deal was. She just knew that she'd been joking in the beginning of this conversation and that somewhere along the line, she's gotten seriously freaked out for no apparent reason. She decided to downplay until she figured it out. "It's not really a big deal, it's just. don't you think it's kind of strange for you to tell someone that we'll both be attending a get-together when only you were invited?"  
  
Miguel was rapidly becoming bored with the conversation and besides, he still couldn't figure out why they were having it in the first place. "Ummm, no, I don't think it's strange. Let's go."  
  
And off they went. Conversation returned to normal as they walked to the apartment where the party was being held. Or, relatively normal.  
  
"So, what kinda barbeque is this? Just a random thing?" Kay asked.  
  
"Umm. yeah," Miguel responded absently as he waved hello to a beautiful woman walking by. The woman grinned. Miguel followed her with his eyes as she passed by them. Kay smacked him back to reality. She had no claims to Miguel, but she did think it was rude of him to ignore her when they were walking together. "Miguel, you didn't even hear my question. Are you sure this is just a random barbeque?"  
  
"Actually, wait." he paused to think as he focused on what she was saying, "It's a birthday party."  
  
"Oh man, Miguel, who's birthday?"  
  
"Uhh. Hey! How's it going?" Miguel grinned broadly as another woman greeted him.  
  
"Miguel!!! Focus!" Kay was getting impatient. She tried not to let the flirty thing bother her on principle, but when she was attempting to have a conversation, it was vexing.  
  
"Huh?!" Miguel snapped back to the conversation again. "Oh, sorry, it's Charity's b-day. What should we get her?"  
  
"Uh, Miguel, we're on the way to the party, what do you mean what should we get her? Isn't it a little late for that? We're on our way to the party."  
  
Miguel just grinned back. "oh.Hey you!" Miguel winked at yet another woman walking by. Kay always questioned the intelligence of the women at her school when she walked with Miguel. They all fawned over him like idiots. She gave Miguel a good wack. "That's it Miguel Lopez-Fitzegerald, I'm trying to have a conversation with you!"  
  
"Kay, what are you yelling about? We don't need a gift, she'll be gifted by our presence. That's the beauty of the barbeque phenomenon." He grinned proudly at his reasoning.  
  
"Riiiiiight, Miguel." Kay said with resignation. She knew what he really meant. He meant that they were bringing the gift of his presence and everyone would be too excited that he was there to notice they hadn't brought anything. "Okay, so no gift. Where is this thing anyway?"  
  
Her question was answered as Miguel led her around the corner and the sounds of at least 50 kids inhaling burgers, playing baseball, and yelling over loud music greeted their ears.  
  
As they entered the courtyard attached to a huge sorority house, they walked in the middle of a raucous toast of beer cans, just as everyone was cheering the birthday girl. Miguel, ever the life of the party, burst in and joined the cheer, louder than everyone else. The crowd immediately turned from the toast of the birthday girl to Miguel, as every woman in the room rushed over to greet him and the men all sat back to admire his finesse. Kay wandered in behind him and received a few "wussups" from the few people who noticed her entrance.  
  
As the party wore on, the distance between Kay and Miguel slowly grew as woman after woman squeezed in to fawn over Miguel. Finally, Kay gave up attempting to appear remotely interested in the "Miguel, tell us about the time you." conversation and joined some of the guys who were playing baseball at the other end of the courtyard. As she quickly got sucked into a complex series of games, she yelled over her shoulder to ask Miguel to join her. The guy standing next to her snorted and said, "I don't think he heard you. He appears to be distracted." Kay grinned as she assured her teammate, "Oh no, Miguel always pays attention when there's baseball to be played."  
  
The guy smirked. "Wanna bet." He lightly grabs her shoulders and rotates her around.  
  
Kay could barely maintain her composure when she caught sight of Miguel, HER Miguel, with one of their classmates sitting on his lap, slowly rubbing his back. She couldn't help herself, and, acting on instinct, she said, "Miguel, put her down and come play." To her utter embarrassment, he didn't hear her over whatever the woman was busy whispering in his ear. From the corners of her eyes, she took in more smirks from her baseball companions, who obviously had heard her demand. She raised her voice a notch and said, "Miguel, come here for a sec." Still no result, unless even more people turning around to witness her making a spectacle of herself counted. Realizing that she had to get Miguel's attention or look like an even bigger loser-jerk, she yelled, "Miguel! Would you listen to me for a sec?!" Most of the room fell silent as Miguel finally looked in her general direction, and his devotees snickered behind their hands at her.  
  
"Was that you hollering, Kay? What is it, I'm busy" he responded.  
  
Mortified beyond belief, Kay realized what an idiot she was making of herself and weakly replied, "N-n-no- nothing, nothing, umm. nevermind."  
  
As knowing looks flew around the room, Kay got back down to her game as Miguel continued to bask in the glory of his admirers.  
  
Soon, the hostess announced that cake was about to be served. Kay attempted to sit close to Miguel, reminding herself that it was quite rational to want to sit near the person who brought her to the party. Her attempt was successful. relatively. Despite the fact that she landed a chair right beside Miguel, she couldn't compete with the two women who placed themselves neatly on either of his legs. Throughout the entire cutting and eating of the cake, Kay found herself having to repeatedly call Miguel's name to get his attention, with most of the party realizing she was calling him before he did.  
  
An hour or so later, Kay, being relatively used to sticking out had managed to turn the embarrassing situation into one of camaraderie with the guys at the party, who had long ago learned not to attempt to compete with Miguel for womanly affection. In fact, Kay was so used to being shunned by women because of her friendship with Miguel and being ignored by men as a woman because of her less than spectacular physical appearance that she naturally fell into buddy mode at most events, and was beginning to be comfortable with at least having a place playing baseball.  
  
Miguel, who after three hours of fawning, was growing bored of hearing about himself, began to wonder where Kay was hiding. A quick search around the baseball field and he spotted her in the position of short stop, heavily engaged in a bout of trash talking and with the man on base. He felt an uncomfortable sensation as he watched his best friend playing their game with other guys and decided that it was time to head home. After some careful maneuvering, he managed to disentangle himself from the devotees and make his way over to the other side of the field.  
  
"Hey Kay," he called on his way.  
  
She didn't look up, although every fiber of her being was instantly and carefully attuned to his exact location and his approach.  
  
"Kay!" he called a little louder, coming up directly behind her.  
  
She carefully maintained the banter of trash talk with the other players, pretending not to notice his presence.  
  
Miguel found himself growing extremely perturbed at her lack of reaction. After all, hadn't he just left a group of women vying for his attention to speak with her? He tapped her on the shoulder, a little harder than he intended to get her attention.  
  
"Hey!" Kay protested as she lost her balance and the man on base began stealing home as she regained her composure. She turned around to face Miguel, a scathing remark hovering on her lips.  
  
She was met with his broad grin and a wink. "I think it's time to go, don't you?"  
  
Her retort died on the spot. Mentally, she bolstered herself, telling herself to have some respect. "Actually," she replied, "I was doing so well here, I thought I'd head back with these guys to the campus diamond to play for a little while longer."  
  
Miguel was astounded, but always smooth, "Why would you do that? Aren't we going to have one of our all night batting competitions?" He pouted.  
  
Kay melted inside, hardly noticing the smirks that were forming on the faces of all the devotees. "Umm., well, I thought."  
  
Miguel knew he had her. "I thought so too. Grab your coat and I'll see if I can find our hostess so we can say good-bye."  
  
Kay, recognizing when she was done for, stood up and said her goodbye's to her fellow players. As she gathered her belongings, she looked around for Miguel, who should have returned by now. Not seeing him, she asked the woman standing next to her if she'd seen where Miguel went off to. Intent upon her visual search, Kay didn't see the sneer appear on the woman's face. But she heard it in the response.  
  
"Lost track of him, did ya?" The woman asked. "Seems like no matter how hard and desperately you try, you can't keep his attention for very long."  
  
Kay responded, a lot more casually than she felt, "Yeah, it's funny though how I'm the one he always comes and leaves with."  
  
"I wouldn't bet on that today," the woman responded. Kay slowly followed her pointed gaze. Miguel was in an archway of the sorority house wrapped around the birthday girl with the hostess giggling nearby. Kay, disgusted by the entire afternoon's events, marched over and tapped Miguel on the shoulder.  
  
"Said our goodbye's yet?" she asked in a bitter tone.  
  
Miguel whipped around, almost dropping poor Charity, and grinned at Kay. "Yup, I think that just about did it." He cheerfully waved to the mini- crowd watching his spectacle and walked out with Kay trailing behind him.  
  
"You always have to get in that last little bit of scandal, don't you," she asked him, sarcasm dripping from her words.  
  
"Sure do," he responded happily, completely unaware of her facetiousness. "You know, I thought our presence was a good gift and all, but nothing really compares to the gift of a good Miguel hug, right, Kay?"  
  
"Whatever you say," she responded, unmoved by his cheerfulness.  
  
"Hey Kay, you know, I'm actually kinda tired now." Miguel began.  
  
"You're what? Miguel, you dragged me from the game because you said we were going to bat, and now you're 'too tired'?" she protested, already predicting where this conversation was headed.  
  
"Well, you know, it sounded like a good idea at the time." Miguel hedged.  
  
"Yeah well, playing with those guys sounded good to me, and now I can't." Kay whined.  
  
She hated whining, but Miguel appeared to bring it out in her. She decided to embellish for added effect. "Besides, I think one of those guys was interested, " she began.  
  
Miguel snorted. "Interested in what?"  
  
"Me, you moron!" Kay yelled at him.  
  
"Oh, hehe, yeah sure Kay. Umm, sorry I ruined that for you," Miguel smirked, pretty sure that the guy was NOT at all interested in the homely Kay.  
  
"Good-bye, Miguel," Kay was suddenly extremely tired of his company. They were almost to a short cut to her place.  
  
"What do you mean, don't you want me to walk you the whole way?" Miguel was a bit taken aback by Kay's abrupt farewell.  
  
"Miguel, you never walk me the whole way. We walk in the direction of your place, and I end up cutting back around three blocks to mine. I'm going to take this short cut and I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Miguel, reassured by the 'see you tomorrow' decided he could let a little moodiness slide.  
  
"Okay Kay. G'nite." He said the words to her back as she rushed home, knowing, as always, that things would be better in the morning. 


	4. Reunion

Chapter 4  
  
"Kay, I think we better get going," Miguel said vaguely in Kay's direction.  
  
She looked blankly back at him and grunted in response before turning back to ESPN's recap of the last baseball season.  
  
"Okay. I'll take that as a grunt of agreement," Miguel said, shaking himself out of his own baseball stupor, realizing that if he didn't get them up and to their first class of the semester, they wouldn't make it.  
  
Kay grunted again in response, and waved vaguely at the book bag she'd brought with her when she arrived at his place an hour ago for lunch.  
  
Miguel, well versed at interpreting the strange noises Kay emitted in place of words, threw her bag at her and pulled her up, as she continued to watch the tv over his shoulder.  
  
Her attention was diverted only when he turned off the television. "Hey!" she protested, "We can still see the tv out of your window on the way to class, leave it on!"  
  
Miguel shook her the slightest bit knowing that the absurdity of her statement needed no comment, once he made her aware that it was no longer summertime.  
  
"Kay, we're gonna be late. Think of all the jokes we'll avoid if we actually show up on time to class."  
  
"This is true," Kay said pensively. Her face brightened, "Hey, and we might even get to make fun of other people if they come in after us, huh?"  
  
Miguel smirked. "Riiiight." He pulled her towards the door. "Let's get goin' lazy bones."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------  
  
They arrive in class a full five minutes early. Kay smirks over her shoulder at Miguel as she enters the classroom. "The elevator is our savior," she comments, "We'd never get to class on time without it."  
  
"Kay Bennett!" a vaguely familiar voice says. "Fancy seeing you here."  
  
Kay turns around to see who's calling her and is startled to find Nicholas Crane seated towards the front of the class. She regains her composure quickly and grins. "Why Nicholas, are you deigning to slum with us undergrads in a class? And how come you're in an anthro course? Aren't you doing Asian studies?"  
  
"Uhhh, Kay?" Miguel interrupts.  
  
She ignores him as Nicholas answers her questions. "Yes, I am slumming with you guys, but I'm not actually in the course; I'm a TA. I was anthro undergrad, so I'm qualified to handle this course if it's okay with you Ms. Bennett." He smirks.  
  
She smirks right back. "I suppose that's okay, Mr. Crane."  
  
"Hey Kay, could you." Miguel again tries to interject.  
  
Kay snaps her head around, oddly overly perturbed at having her small conversation with Nicholas interrupted. "What, Miguel? Can't you see."  
  
"Yes, I can see," he snaps back, disgruntled at having Kay so distracted by someone else. "I can see that you're blocking the doorway and the professor is right behind me."  
  
Kay immediately turns bright red and sheepishly walks to a seat near Nicholas. Miguel conspicuously sits between the two. Hearing Nicholas chuckle at her as the professor introduces himself, Kay can tell it's going to be an interesting semester. 


	5. Procrastination

A.N. - Sorry for the delay. I'll make no promises about updating, as I'm not good at timetables. But I have finally mapped out the entire story, and once again, changed the title. It's more fitting, stay tuned to see why. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------  
  
"Man, oh man, I have so much work to do," Kay sighed in Miguel's general direction. It was midterm time and they had both put off their work for much too long.  
  
"Yeah, me too, I can't believe I've put this stuff off for so long," Miguel replies.  
  
They glanced at each other. And started doing the usual math. Kay began, "Well, if you think about it, we've got, what? 30 pages maximum to do."  
  
Miguel picked up where she left off, "So that's. let's say. 48 hours of work total, right?"  
  
Kay continued, "Right, including research and the occasional nap, I mean, really, it only takes what?... an hour a page."  
  
"Yeah, and I mean, 48 hours is leaving 18 extra for whatever."  
  
"And we've got how many days? A"  
  
"A whole week!" Miguel finished. They looked at each other and say simultaneously,  
  
"PLENTY of time!"  
  
"So.. Uhh. I'm just gonna put this out there."  
  
"Kay, no! We promised we wouldn't do this. You know we can't."  
  
"I know, I know, what if someone walks in and catches us. blah blah blah," she pouted at him.  
  
"You don't have to look so sad about it, we can play when we finish our work." Miguel attempted to be firm.  
  
"I know, I know. it's just that I really really like." Kay began.  
  
"I know, but Kay, we can't."  
  
Kay noticed that Miguel's resolve was weakened. And moves in for the final blow to his work ethic. "Just for half an hour, I mean, we've allotted all this EXTRA time for the papers." She winked at him and grins seductively.  
  
"You promise, just for half an hour?" Miguel felt his sense of responsibility slowly drifting away at Kay's look.  
  
"Of course!" Kay promised.  
  
"Alright then." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Reese, Miguel's apartment-mate, found them engrossed three hours later when he came into the apartment's backyard and surveyed the sight before him. "Miguel and Kay, this is just disgusting," he smirked.  
  
They both looked guiltily up from the task at hand. "We were just taking a quick break." Kay began to explain.  
  
"Oh no, you forget who you're talking to," Reese said. "I don't know how many times I've caught you guys at this."  
  
"Seriously, it was just a quick break!" Miguel protested. Kay grinned, knowing they'd been caught with the proverbial red-tinted appendages.  
  
"Miguel, give it up. Reese knows we always get caught up practicing this stupid game for hours," she began.  
  
"Hey now," Reese interrupted, "Whatever I might think of your procrastination, there's no reason to call baseball a stupid game. I mean, fine, you should be doing work, but let's not insult art."  
  
"You're the one who said it was disgusting when you came in!" Kay protested.  
  
"No, I said the way you two always talk each other out of work to practice is disgusting. And I think most people would agree."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, we give, we haven't done any work yet," Miguel caved.  
  
"But we're gonna start right now, right Miguel?" Kay said, knowing what was coming.  
  
"Yes we are, dear," Miguel responded. "And you know how I know we're going to start work?"  
  
"How, dear?" Kay returned. "Don't tell me, I already know. Goodnight, Reese, I'm being thrown out once again."  
  
Reese grinned, "It's for your own good, Kay. You're just too distracting. You know my man has no willpower."  
  
"It's true, I'll admit it," Miguel declared. "I fully admit that I just can't resist." Kay grinned expectantly. "baseball," he finished.  
  
Kay whacked him as she moved away from their makeshift diamond to get her jacket off a bench. "You're lucky I love." she said shrugging on her jacket and reaching for the latch to the gate, "baseball so much, or I wouldn't come back here, seeing as how I'm so unwelcome."  
  
Miguel grinned and jumped up, giving her a bone crushing, all encompassing bear hug,  
  
"You're always welcome here silly," he yelled into her back. "Just not when there's work to be done."  
  
Kay managed to disentangle herself and opened the gate. "Yeah right. I'll see you tomorrow babes," she called over her shoulder.  
  
"Yup," he cheerfully called after her.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- 


	6. Discontents

"Who came up with that stupid 48-hour figure anyway?!" Kay yelled, exhausted from the double all-nighter they were pulling to complete their midterm papers.  
  
"Kay, keep it down," Miguel told her, equally tired himself. "Even if we're on the party floor, this is still the library. And I believe that we both derived that particular number."  
  
"Oh yeah," Kay remembered. "Well, we were stupid. This is stupid. Our Prof's are stupid. This book is stupid. My paper topic is stupid."  
  
"Kay, the stupid rant was cute the first time. The second time, when you exchanged 'stupid' for 'retarded,' it was equally amusing. I wasn't a fan of the 'obnoxious' substitution, but you rebounded well with 'ridiculously irrelevant'. But now, with this stupid rant, take two, you're just being repetitive."  
  
Kay could see Miguel's patience with the all-nighters was wearing as thin as her own. Her sympathy kicked in; he was ever so adorable when tired. "You know what?" She began.  
  
"Oh no, no no no no no. Kay, we CANNOT practice baseball!"  
  
"Ummm. didn't you just remind me that we were in the library?" Kay tried to contain her snort at Miguel's behavior. He resembled a petulant little boy when he was frustrated. She continued, "If you're done spazzing out, I was going to suggest that we take a coffee break from each other and these books." she waved vaguely to the stacks and stacks of books they had amassed, "And meet back here in an hour or so, hopefully in better spirits."  
  
Miguel grinned, "Sounds perfect. Back here in an hour."  
  
"Yup," Kay agreed. That'll give me time to take a quick shower and freshen up so we can get comfortably closer when we reconvene.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------  
  
[A little less than an hour later.]  
  
Kay was feeling particularly rejuvenated after the shower and change. She even decided to walk up the stairs as opposed to taking the elevator, as was hers and Miguel's bad habit. As she opened the door to the back stairs, she immediately recognized Miguel's voice in the stairwell above her and began to rush up to see what he was up to. She stopped in her tracks as she listened more closely to what he was saying. ". don't think so. You've got Kay all wrong," he was saying in an amused voice. Kay froze as she heard a voice she recognized respond.  
  
"Whatever man, de-Nile is not just a river in Egypt as far as you are concerned about your 'buddy,'" Reese said, as if "buddy" were a term only Miguel would apply to the relationship.  
  
"Oh come on, Kay does not think we're going out. That'd be ridiculous, we're really good friends, and that's all." Kay silently cheered on her best friend for defending the nature of their relationship.  
  
"Yo," Reese apparently realized the public space they were occupying, "We can talk about this later at the apartment."  
  
Miguel laughed. "No, there's no danger of Kay walking in on this conversation; she never takes the stairs." Kay immediately retracted her previous cheers for Miguel, the bum. She began to storm up the stairs to give the lie to his declaration, and was stopped once again by Miguel's next words. "At any rate, the bottom line is that it's ridiculous, not just because we're good friends, but could you really see Kay and I together? What kind of a couple would that be?" Had she not already been leaning against the rail, Kay would have fallen back into it. She had a flashback of their conversation on the street a few weeks ago.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ "I was talking about how ridiculous they looked together." Miguel said. " She was a good three inches taller than him and twice his size. You can't tell me you don't think that looked a little strange, that they just don't fit together as a couple." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------  
  
Floored not only by Miguel's carelessness, but also by the magnitude of her own hurt, Kay began to rush up the stairs to confront the scene head on. As she made her way up, Reese continued.  
  
"Hey now, Miguel, Kay's a looker in her own right, don't get too up yourself with this goofy 'have to look right together' thing." Kay's opinion of Reese shot up. "I'm not saying that it would be a bad thing if you two were together, I'm just saying you shouldn't be in denial about the way Kay feels." And her opinion fell right back down. How dare he tell Miguel how she was feeling? She continued to rush up stairs even as she heard the two men exit the stairwell. She was going to put a stop to this now.  
  
But, for the third time that evening, she was stopped by something she heard.  
  
". Reese is so right about Kay, I mean, everyone knows she's in love with him, and look at the sad way she follows him around all the time." Kay tried desperately to place the voice, but couldn't. She only knew that it was female and extremely catty, in her opinion at any rate. The voice continued. "I mean, did you see the two of them at the cook out at the beginning of the semester? Just pathetic really." And with that, Kay experiences her second flashback of the night, this one even more painful than the first.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------- Kay could barely maintain her composure when she caught sight of Miguel, HER Miguel, with one of their classmates sitting on his lap, slowly rubbing his back. She couldn't help herself, and, acting on instinct, she said, "Miguel, put her down and come play." To her utter embarrassment, he didn't hear her over whatever the woman was busy whispering in his ear. From the corners of her eyes, she took in more smirks from her baseball companions, who obviously had heard her demand. She raised her voice a notch and said, "Miguel, come here for a sec." Still no result, unless even more people turning around to witness her making a spectacle of herself counted. Realizing that she had to get Miguel's attention or look like an even bigger loser-jerk, she yelled, "Miguel! Would you listen to me for a sec?!" Most of the room fell silent as Miguel finally looked in her general direction, and his devotees snickered behind their hands at her.  
  
"Was that you hollering, Kay? What is it, I'm busy" he responded.  
  
Mortified beyond belief, Kay realized what an idiot she was making of herself and weakly replied, "N-n-no- nothing, nothing, umm. never mind." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------  
  
As Kay snapped back to the present, she heard the woman's companion continue. This voice she could definitely place.  
  
". tried to snap her to reality, the poor thing, with a nasty comment about how she can't keep his attention, but she just went over and tried to prove me wrong. Seriously, doesn't she have any other friends? Can't they tell her how pathetic she looks trailing after him like that?"  
  
Kay couldn't take anymore of this stairwell chatter about her. She marched loudly up to where the women were speaking. She looked the woman from the party in the eye and stated, "With enemies like you talking about me behind my back, who needs friends to disillusion them?" Kay then went directly to the restroom to recover. Kay, you knew it was like this, she told herself. You knew it from the beginning. You knew he didn't return your feelings because of that stupid idea of his about couples "fitting" and you knew that once you decided to settle for being his friend, people were going to talk. Kay reminded herself that her homely looks had shaped her personality. Being taller than most women and men, and being less attractive than most women had helped her form a strong personality that was not dependent on the opinions of others. Which is why your current state of distress is ridiculous. It's based entirely on what people think you feel and how people think you act instead of your own reality. Furthermore, Kay reasoned with herself, if Miguel's romantic affection is so based upon physicality, then he doesn't accept you for you and you don't need that anyway. Besides, Kay threw in as an afterthought, the twit shouldn't be talking about you in stairwells anyway. Feeling better after her self-pep talk, Kay walked confidently out of the restroom in search of an unsuspecting Miguel. She found him quickly, still conversing with Reese.  
  
"Hi Reese. Hi Miguel," she said abruptly.  
  
"Uhh, hey Kay, what's goin' on?" replied Reese.  
  
Miguel grinned and said, "I see the coffee has got you perked up and ready to work."  
  
"Actually, it was an illuminating walk in the stairwell that woke me right on up," she interrupted.  
  
Miguel choked on the rest of his sentence as Reese shifted his feet.  
  
"Yes, very eye-opening walk that was," Kay continued.  
  
Miguel recovered first. "So, uh. you must have just come from this walk, then," he asked, quickly calculating that, if that were the case, she would have missed their conversation. He blustered along, "Yup, a quick trot up the stairs will get the circulation going."  
  
Kay wasn't going to make this easy, and she also wasn't one for dragging things out. "Actually, it wasn't the act itself, it was more the interesting conversation I picked up on during the walk up the back stairs. And no, I didn't just finish coming up, I needed a little while to get my bearings after those stairs." Kay looked pointedly at Reese, who had the decency to blush, although Miguel appeared determined to carry on the charade.  
  
"Yeah, three flights would wind anyone, I had to take a break too. Imagine that, we, both being elevator folks, took the stairs tonight."  
  
"Yeah, and who would have imagined that I'd overhear my best friend and his apartment-mate discussing my intentions on said best-friend." Kay, raising her voice, continued on, "And who would have thought that I would have then had the chance to hear two ninnies gossip about how pathetic I am in response to your conversation?! Who would have thought that, Miguel dear?"  
  
"Umm... uhhh, see, Kay, if you heard the whole conversation."  
  
"Oh, I heard plenty." The embarrassment of the night's events came flooding back in on her so that she could barely stand to look at him. "I think it would be best if I continued my work at home. I'll see you around, Miguel." Kay turned to leave.  
  
Miguel called after her, "Wait! Don't you mean, 'see you tomorrow'?"  
  
Kay turned back around to look at him. "No," she shook her head, "I mean see you around."  
  
As she walks away, Kay realizes the depth of her dilemma. She would normally turn to her best friend in situations like this, but her best friend was now the problem. But she felt the need to rant at a substitute male figure. On an impulse, remembering how much she enjoyed their first at the meeting, Kay punches in Nicholas the TA's number. 


	7. Haven

AN: Thank you so much for the reviews; I wasn't expecting any!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
.On an impulse, remembering how much she enjoyed their first argument at the AWARE meeting, Kay punched in Nicholas's number into her cell phone.  
  
"Hello?" Nicholas put down the papers he was reading over. He couldn't imagine who would be calling this late.  
  
"Hello, may I speak to Nicholas, please?" Kay immediately regrets her call, but her self-righteousness kicked in and she couldn't hang up.  
  
"May I ask who's calling please?" Nicholas, realizing that the person calling didn't recognize his voice from his greeting, decided to do a little self-screening.  
  
"Ummm, this is a student in one of his classes?" Kay hated it when her voice made everything a question. She steadied herself, and continued. "This is Kay Bennett from his anthro course. Is Nicholas there?"  
  
All of a sudden, both of them heard the sound of a button being pressed loudly in their ears. Nicholas's cheek had pressed a button on his phone's keypad. a result of the massive smile that he cracked when he heard her name. "Ooops!" he yelped into the phone. Oh man, Nick, let's settle down he thought to himself. He took a breath and said, "Well, hello, Ms. Bennett, to what do I owe the pleasure of this late night call? Surely someone as intelligent as yourself wouldn't be needing last minute help on the midterm study questions?"  
  
YES! Kay thought, as she realized that all her procrastinating was paying off. She didn't really need help, but she could fake it sense she didn't technically have anything done yet. "Well, Mr. Crane, I realize how late it is, but if you're anywhere near campus, I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee and pick your brain about post-structuralism." Wow, that was bold, Kay. Maybe you should give him an out? "I mean," she continued quickly, "If it's not too late or anything. I could call again tomorrow." Great, now you sound really PRESSED to see him. "I mean, if you have time, we could do it anytime before the take home is due." Dodo! It IS due tomorrow! "I mean, it is due tomorrow, so umm." So maybe you should stop talking, like five minutes ago.  
  
Nicholas laughed. "Kay, it's not too late, I live a few blocks off campus, I can pick you up and we can go to a place I know that stays open late. I never turn down free coffee."  
  
Kay was greatly relieved that he didn't seem too aware of her obvious state of being flustered. "Oh! That sounds great!" she practically squealed. Oh man, don't be that squealin' type of chick. "I mean, that's cool, do you want to just swing by the library in twenty minutes?"  
  
That's Waaay too far away, Nicholas thought. "How about in ten? Aren't you there now?"  
  
Looks like this Miguel-prepping won't be totally wasted, she thought. "Perfect. See you in a bit." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------  
  
Nicholas parked in a lot seemingly in the middle of nowhere and led Kay around to the front of what appeared to be an abandoned building with a small sign over a door that she would have missed had he not stopped right in front of it. "Haven," it read. She was surprised when Nicholas pulled open the door without it falling off its hinges. They went down a half flight of stairs and stepped into medium-lit room. After her eyes adjusted to the light, Kay saw a room with amber-colored sofas spaced regularly, but not too in too much of a set pattern, around the space. The sofas were interspersed with low, plain wood coffee tables and different styles of soft beige chairs, decorated with dark orange and brown pillows. Kay thought the place must be a seating nightmare for the staff, since it was apparent that customers felt free to rearrange their surroundings at will. A deep gold-colored wooden bar lined one side of the room and, on a small stage in a back corner of the room, a Jill Scott melody was being played live on a saxophone and resonated softly throughout the area. It was hard to get a sense of how large the space was because of the seating and ambience, but Kay thought it could probably hold a crowd of 150 easily enough. She mentally made a note of the place for a future get together site of AWARE.  
  
A beautiful woman with locked hair approached them, wearing a flowing, transparent red top with gold flowers stitched along the sleeves over a plain red tank with blue jeans and well-worn brown boots. Kay felt a strange twinge of something when she saw the smile with which Nicholas greeted the woman, as if her subconscious only wanted that smile to be for her.  
  
"Hey babes," Nicholas said to the woman, "How's it goin'?"  
  
"It's going fine, babes," the woman replied. "Only, how about you not address me with such familiarity when you've come up in my spot with such a beautiful woman by your side?" The woman turns her 100-watt smile on Kay. "Hey, chica, what's goin' on? My name's Simone." The woman held out her hand and looked at Kay expectantly.  
  
Women with such confidence and flair often made Kay a bit reserved and stand-offish, but something about Simone caused the opposite reaction and she immediately felt at home. "Hey, how are you? I'm Kay Bennett. How do you know Nicholas?"  
  
"Inquisitive, isn't she?" Simone winked at Nicholas. "This guy is forever hangin' out here, buying a cup of coffee and takin' up space for hours."  
  
Kay, feeling the weird need to connect with this woman, enthusiastically picked up the "joke on Nicholas" line. "Oh, what a drag, he must ruin tips for the night." Encouraged, rather than feeling slighted by the familiarity that the two seemed to share, Kay playfully punched Nicholas on the arm for emphasis.  
  
Nicholas snorted. "I don't think Simone minds the loss of tips, seeing as how she owns the joint." He and Simone shared a special look again that made Kay wonder why else Simone wouldn't mind Nicholas hanging around so much. She again shrugged off the feeling, sensing somehow that Simone wasn't a threat to her in anyway. She instead focused on Nicholas's comment.  
  
"Oh wow, excuse me for saying so, but you look really young to be an owner of. well, of anything!" she commented to Simone.  
  
Simone grinned broadly, and her cheerful smile made her look even younger. "We're probably the same age! I'm a student at the University. This joint was actually a first-year business experiment that went awry. in that it totally worked and started making money!"  
  
Kay grinned. Simone's cheerfulness was catching. "That's great! Congrats on your obvious success, I really like the feel of this place!"  
  
"Enough!" Nicholas interrupted. "Before you two start thinking of new ways to tease me, how about you play a real hostess and show us to a sofa, Simone?" Nicholas winked to indicate that he was teasing.  
  
Simone winked back and replied, "Excuse me! Right this way, sir."  
  
Kay was surprised at how comfortable it was to sit beside someone, rather than across from them. Something about Haven's design made her feel like she had indeed stepped into a safe space and should feel nothing but comfort.  
  
"So what did you want to know about post-structuralism?" Nicholas asked after they had gotten settled in.  
  
Unprepared with a question pertaining to the supposed reason for their coffee break, and becoming more aware of the awkward situation she had impulsively thrown herself into, Kay stalled. "Hey, what's with the business first? Let's at least order. Look, here's the waiter."  
  
Nicholas gave her a funny look, but placed his order. Instead of trying to press her to ask a question after their orders were taken care of, he simply looked at her expectantly.  
  
Oh shit. Kay thought. What now? Well, at the very least, stop talking to yourself and talk to him! "So uh. yeah, post-structuralism. I guess I was wondering how to accurately describe a theory that purposefully defies description."  
  
Nicholas smiled a strange smile at the question, pleased with her insight, and yet slightly puzzled. "Kay, that's a great question. only. you uh, asked the same question in class two weeks ago."  
  
The same thought hit Kay again... Oh shit. Better turn the tables before he figures out exactly how full of it I was when I came up with that phony excuse to get together. "Well, Mr. Crane, it seems as though you pay more attention to what I say than I do. What's up with that?" Kay knew there was nothing to her statement, but at least now the answering was up to him.  
  
Nicholas blushed. He had, in fact, internalized every single comment and question Kay asked in class. It was clear that her leadership of AWARE was not unfounded, she was quite easily one of the brightest students in the class, always interrogating the material, rather than simply memorizing the lecture. Of course, he wasn't quite ready to let Kay know how well versed he was in her class participation.  
  
"It's only that it was a striking question. But what I remember most is the answer. The Prof told you that you had a good point and that the closest you could come to describing post-structuralism was to talk in terms of trends rather than absolutes." Nicholas was puzzled again as he continued to remember that day. "But you seemed fine with that answer in class, why would you need emergency help with that now." Something else struck Nicholas then. As he peered at her closely, he noticed that Kay didn't look like her usual, confident, self. He knew that she was insecure about certain things, her size most notably as he recalled their first awkward meeting, but that she was always confident in, and even cocky about, her analytical skills. He also noticed something else different. Since that first day in class when they showed up late together, he'd rarely seen Kay without Miguel. Something was definitely up.  
  
Kay saw the realization hit Nicholas, read in his eyes when he realized that she was totally full of it when she'd made up that bogus excuse about needing help to see him. And so she was surprised when his demeanor changed to one of casualness, rather than the brief flicker of intensity she'd seen.  
  
"Well, I suppose my charm has its obvious appeal, thus explaining you calling me for 'help'" Nicholas wiggled his eye brows and made quote signs with his fingers as he said "help." "So, why don't we cut through this charade and talk about what's really important here." Kay had a brief moment of panic, until he continued with a comical smirk, "Me. I'm what's really important. Go ahead, ask me anything. As long as it's to do with me."  
  
Kay couldn't help it, she started laughing. "Why Mr. Crane, I had no idea you were so modest," she said. "Let's see. why don't you tell me where you're from?"  
  
"Here and there," Nicholas replied with a wink.  
  
Kay immediately sense a challenge. "Oh really? Where were you born?"  
  
Nicholas smiled, "It's a sad, sad story really. Quite unfortunate," he said melodramatically as he sighed in obvious angst over the story of his birth. "I was born in Paris while my mother was visiting my aunt."  
  
Kay was confused, but persistent. "Nicholas, what in the world? What's so 'unfortunate' about that?"  
  
Nicholas grinned even more, knowing she was gonna love this punch line. "You see, dear Kay, the location of one's birth doesn't eliminate them from having any occupation on earth. with the exception of one." He paused, waiting for her to realize what he was talking about. "It's one that I have long felt that I was destined for, one suitable to my own greatness. And alas, because I was born in Paris, I will never be able to share this greatness with the world."  
  
Kay's immediate burst of laughter was enough to make everyone around her grin, even though they had no clue what she was laughing about. "You're such a SCHNERD, Nicholas!"  
  
He laughed with her. "You scoff at my dream of being President of the United States?" he said with pretended offense.  
  
"No, I scoff at your presumption that the world is missing out on 'your greatness' just because you'll never be President!" Kay managed through her laughter.  
  
"Well, see if I share anything else with you. Although, I suppose I must. It's bad enough that I can't share this with the world in the proper capacity, I suppose I can continue to share me with you."  
  
Kay willingly jumped back to the questions. "Okay, so you were born in Paris. Must be pretty well-off. And where did you head after that fate- filled entrance into the world?"  
  
Nicholas shrugged. "Back to the sleepy little town where my parents have always lived. You wouldn't know it."  
  
It was Kay's turn to grin. "I know how that goes; I grew up in a small town myself that no one's ever heard of. I always have to say I'm from 'near Boston'."  
  
Nicholas gave her a funny smile. "Hey, that's my 'near' city too! Looks like we were meant to meet and bond over our small-town ness."  
  
Kay's grin faltered. Something was beginning to click. Something that didn't bode well for the rest of the evening. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "So, what's the name of your lil' town?" she asked casually. "Since we both use Boston as our 'near' city, maybe I've heard of it."  
  
Nicholas noticed a slight change in her attitude, and also her quick covering of that change. He was at once struck by how attune to her reactions he was, and vice versa. At the same time that he too had a feeling that things were about to make a turn that neither of them really wanted to happen. "What does it matter?" he asked back, imitating her casual tone. His eyes turned serious, and Kay felt drawn into them. "What matters is that we're having a good time together, right now, right?"  
  
And realizing that he was just as anxious and nervous about the entire situation as she was, Kay suddenly realized that the fun they were having was all that mattered. True to her own style, Kay decided to confront the issue head on. "So how'd you manage to avoid the insanity that seems to be a part of being one of The Harmony Cranes?"  
  
Nicholas was pleased that she'd made the connection and was still sitting across from him. He also felt something decidedly warm inside as he realized that she had managed to separate him out from the rest of his ridiculously corrupt and psychotic family. Which he immediately attributed to the warm feeling induced by sitting in Haven, with all its warm colors and lighting. "Something about being shipped off to boarding school at a young age makes a body feel a disconnect with his family," he replied casually.  
  
Kay sensed hurt behind his words, but decided not to probe. "I bet," she responded vaguely. And in that vagueness, and with the simple knowledge she seemed to have about his needs at the moment, the warmth Nicholas felt towards her blossomed to something more, something that he couldn't dismiss as a result of the ambiance of Haven. In fact, a small part of his mind noticed that the ambience seemed to cool a fraction, and take on a purplish- blue haze. The rest of his mind, however, was concentrating on the beautiful woman sitting next to him and how much he wanted to express his appreciation for her understanding.  
  
Kay too, felt the internal warmth. She slid closer to Nicholas on the sofa.  
  
"Hey, Simone!" another patron across the room yelled loudly. "What's up with your lights? Forgot to pay the bill?"  
  
The small fraction of Kay's line of sight that wasn't intensely focused on Nicholas noticed a cooling of the room as well. The sofa seemed to fade from amber to a soft lavender. Still focused on Nicholas, though, she only murmured, "I hope Simone doesn't lose customers because of the lighting problems." She slid closer to Nicholas.  
  
For his part, he too was wrapped up in Kay, but something about what Kay had just said crept into his awareness. His eyes lost their focus and shifted to the rest of the coffee house. "I better go check and see if Simone needs help," he said and he began to stand up, and move away from Kay.  
  
Almost immediately, however, the lighting switched back, and the ambers and golds regained their heat. Nicholas shrugged and returned his attention back to Kay, who had never lost her focus on Nicholas. As he reached for her hand, the lighting in Haven again went cold, and the furniture and fixtures again took on a blue tinge. This time, they both snapped out of the spell they were casting on each other and looked around. As they shifted apart, the lighting once again returned to normal, as Simone ran over to the stage to get the microphone.  
  
"I am so sorry about the lighting problems tonight, everyone," she began. Kay knew how well-liked Simone was, however, because all around she heard cheerful phrases of encouragement and easy forgiveness. Simone continued, "To make up for the problem, you can pay whatever you feel is reasonable for your coffee and service tonight, even if it's nothing at all!" Simone smiled and stepped off stage to cheers.  
  
Nicholas turned to Kay and said, "What a business woman. Instead of saying everything was free and losing an awful lot of money tonight, everyone is going to pay full price, and maybe more because they like her so much."  
  
Kay smiled in admiration of Simone's savvy. "That's so true!" she said. Something about the lighting problem was nagging her, but she couldn't place her hand on it, so she decided to call it a night. She was suddenly exhausted from the turmoil of the evening/night's events.  
  
"Well, Nicholas, it was a great evening, thanks for introducing me to this place, but maybe we should head home."  
  
He saw her fatigue and agreed. "Sure thing. Let's settle our tab and go."  
  
Kay paid at the bar as promised and left a little extra to show Simone how much she loved hanging out at Haven. She promised to tell folks about it, at the same time that she had the sudden thought that she would never bring Miguel to this place, even if they ever recovered from the situation they were in. It would be her "haven" from him and all the insecurity he produced in her.  
  
Nicholas casually draped his arm around Kay's shoulder as they walked to his car behind the building. Kay unconsciously snaked her arm around his back. It felt good to be close to someone without all the tension that she felt around Miguel sometimes. Nicholas seemed like he was going to be a great friend and she was glad her impulsiveness hadn't led her astray.  
  
As Nicholas pulled up to campus fifteen minutes later, he looked over at Kay. Suddenly, he didn't want the evening to be over.  
  
Kay turned to him from her thoughts of Miguel and their confrontation and was about to thank him for hanging out when she caught the intensity in his gaze. Confused, she started to say, "Is there."  
  
Nicholas interrupted her without thinking. "Kay, this can't be the end of the evening. You didn't call me to talk about post-structuralism. You didn't call me to listen to my life story, either." He paused, thinking about how to approach the topic. Then, he remembered Kay's own straightforwardness and decided to use the same strategy. "Kay, something is wrong and I want you to tell me what it is, or else, I wouldn't feel comfortable just dropping you off and going home."  
  
Kay felt a reflex protest forming on her lips. She stopped as she saw real concern in his eyes. She met his directness with some of her own. "Okay. I'll tell you. But not here in the car.and I live in a dorm."  
  
Nicholas understood immediately. He started up the car and shot a quick grin her way. "I guess you'll have to come and see the pad.. It's four in the morning, and even Simone has to sleep sometime." 


	8. Her Tears

AN: Thanks again for the reviews, those posted, and those emailed! I'm posting this next chapter sooner than I normally do because it's short, but please, don't be disappointed if I can't always update so regularly!  
  
Chapter 8  
  
"Well, this is it." Nicholas was surprised at how nervous he was to have Kay come into his home, his space. He was anxious to hear what she'd think. He looked over at her and was relieved to see that she was grinning.  
  
Kay's eyes scanned the medium-sized studio apartment. He flaunted traditional standards of "masculine" decorating by having light wood tables with curved edges accenting a softly upholstered burgundy sofa and loveseat set. His desk, too, was light in color, and full of soft, almost art nouveau-like curves and contours. His bed, dining area and kitchen likewise matched the rest of the décor. The ceilings of the apartment were vaulted, almost cathedral style, and he had taped little phrases of inspiration and food for thought to the edges of the semi-arches.  
  
Nicholas enjoyed her perusal of his place. His friends, especially his guy friends, always teased him about the "feminine" feel to his place. He wondered if Kay understood why he chose such décor, other than the fact that he really was a fan of the simple beauty and curve of art nouveau.  
  
Kay finished her inspection of the place and turned to him. "You know, my dorm room is done in the almost exact opposite style as this place, and everyone always tells me it looks like a dude lives there." She paused thoughtfully. "Don't tell me you chose this stuff to make a statement about assigning gender to décor like I did."  
  
He grinned that special grin of his. "Okay, I won't tell you that. But it'd be a lie by omission." He gently pushed her farther into the studio, towards the dining area. "Have a seat and I'll heat up some water for tea. Is mint okay?" he asked.  
  
"That's perfect." As Kay sat down, she realized once again that she was going to have to explain herself to Nicholas. As he put the mug of hot tea in front of her along with some honey and a spoon, she breathed in deeply the scent of mint and willed herself to be calm.  
  
Nicholas say down from her, without saying a word and waited for Kay to begin.  
  
And she did. "Well, Miguel and I have been best friends since either of us can remember. But when we got to college, I started wanting something more."  
  
And for the next couple of hours, Nicholas relives Kay and Miguel's friendship in college. His complete obliviousness to her feelings, her inability to convince herself that they will always be just friends; his superficiality, her depth. When they had each finished three cups of tea, they moved from sitting at the table to the sofa. As she grew engrossed in her story, and fatigued at the same time, Kay gradually leaned over on the sofa, until she was laying looking into the ceiling with her head on Nicholas' lap. When she finished talking, she turned her head slightly to see if she'd put Nicholas to sleep with her long tale.  
  
Nicholas smiled softly down at Kay, as she looked up at him, eye searching, and he casually tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. He wasn't sure what to say to her, so he just met her gaze and let her see in his eyes all the thoughts flying around in his head. Anger at Miguel for being able to reach through the strength that Kay exuded to destroy slowly little bits of her self-conception. Angry at Kay for allowing someone to whittle away at that strength. Jealousy at the history that Miguel and Kay shared. Helplessness at being unable to erase Kay's feelings for Miguel away, leaving him with only his Kay, the Kay who in one strange night had made him. Well, he wasn't about to take that leap yet.  
  
In his silence, in his eyes, Kay read all these things. Because of the extreme emotions she had been feeling all day and night and now morning, because she was tired, and because of the inability to comprehend the depth of empathy she saw in Nicholas' eyes, Kay began to cry. Not wracking sobs, but slow, steady tears that fell from her face onto his lap.  
  
Nicholas quickly, but gently shifted their position on the sofa so that instead of her head resting on his lap, her entire body was leaning into his support. She continued crying, still without sound, overwhelmed by the night and the comfort he provided. Nicholas closed his eyes and held her, determined to hold on to this incredible woman as long as she would let him. 


	9. Blue Remembered

AN: this one is a doozy to make up for the last chapter which was pretty short. Review as you like! Let me know if you think there's too much detail; I'm starting to see this as a long, epic-esque story, but I can do a shorter version under a different title with similar premises if you'd prefer. The only drawback is that this longer one would have to wait.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Nicholas woke up the next day and immediately, the events of the night before were at the forefront of his mind. Mostly because Kay was still tucked snuggly in his embrace. During the course of the night, they'd both slid down in the chair, so that they were now laying down face to face in the soft burgundy material of his sofa. He was careful not to move, so that he could take advantage of her sleeping state to carefully inspect her.  
  
He saw tear stains still on her face, a sign that she'd cried herself to sleep. And yet, the quiet (well, not always quiet) strength with which Kay confronted the world head on was also apparent in her visage, he read there a determination to meet this newest challenge and to beat it.  
  
Over the course of the night, their hands had become intertwined, and, because of her tall height, their legs were perfectly aligned and interlocked. He watched as she stirred, afraid his opportunity to watch her was over, and almost jarred her awake himself as the sound of a snore startled him through the silence. Nicholas began to chuckle to himself as he pulled her closer. She rested her head on his shoulder, and wrapped her arms around him, causing their fingers to break apart, but their sleepy embrace to become tighter.  
  
Suddenly, the silence was pierced by the ringing of a phone, and without thinking, Nicholas carefully reached across Kay and grabbed her cell phone off the top of her bag that was lying on the floor in front of the sofa. "Hello." he began.  
  
And was immediately interrupted with, "Kay, don't say anything, I know you might still be feeling a little prickly about last night but I really think that we can work. Wait, are you okay, you sound a little strange."  
  
Nicholas knew exactly with whom he was speaking and he couldn't resist picking with the guy. He said quietly into the phone, "I'm sorry, Kay is sleeping right now, may I take a message?"  
  
Miguel thought the voice at the other end of the phone sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it. He did know that he didn't appreciate some schmuck answering his Kay's cell phone and asking HIM if he could take a message. "Who the hell is this? No, you can't take a message; it's noon, and she should be awake. I want to speak with Kay now, put her on the phone."  
  
Nicholas felt himself tense up at the tone Miguel was taking with him. "Listen, Miguel, Kay has had a very rough night and if she needs to sleep until noon tomorrow, I'm not going to wake her up so that you can stress her out more." Nicholas winced as he saw Kay beginning to blink out of sleep. He lowered his voice, "Now, is there a message you'd like to leave?"  
  
Miguel's temper shot up as he responded, "You've got some nerve, whoever you are, answering Kay's phone and acting like you're her personal voice mail. And how do you know who I am? You've got ten seconds to put Kay on the phone or I'm going to."  
  
As Miguel ranted into the phone, Nicholas instinctively moved it away from his ear. Kay woke up with a start, her bright blue eyes piercing Nicholas'. "Miguel?" She questioned, looking around for the source of her best friend's voice. She saw the cell phone and grabbed it from Nicholas. "Miguel, what are you yelling about?" she asked groggily. "What's the matter with you?"  
  
"Kay! Who's the dipshit who answered the phone? Why wouldn't he let me talk to you? Why are you sleeping at some strange man's place? I called your room all night. What's going."  
  
"Oh stuff it, Miguel," Kay interrupted him. "I'm not at some strange man's; I'm at Nicholas' and why the hell would you call me all night? Don't you think you've said enough to me already? Who do you think you are?"  
  
Nicholas tried desperately not to grin as he listened to Kay give Miguel hell. He realized that his fears that she'd run back to him and into the sickness of their current friendship again were unfounded. He listened as she continued, snuggling closer to her and closing his eyes contentedly, as if she were telling him a bedtime story.  
  
Miguel, for his part, was astonished at the venom her heard in her voice. He was convinced that this Nicholas character was poisoning her mind against him. But he also knew that an angry Kay was an uncooperative Kay. "Kay, stop!" he interrupted her. "Listen, I don't know why you're at the TA's place right now, but I just wanted to talk to you and see if we can discuss this in person. Things ended so badly last night that I couldn't sleep and I'd like for us to try to work this out so we can go back to the way things were before."  
  
His calm tone brought Kay's temper back down to earth. Suddenly, she wasn't angry anymore, just tired of him. The hours she'd spent with Nicholas, although they had solved nothing specifically about her problems with Miguel, had helped her realize that she didn't have to run to him at every turn. The safety that she felt with Nicholas, the security that she wanted desperately to hold onto that she'd had since she'd stepped into Haven were all that she needed right now. "Miguel," she began slowly, "I've been uncomfortable in our friendship for awhile now, last night just made it shockingly apparent to both of us." She paused as she realized what had to be said and though how to frame it. "I think that I need a break from us, from the friendship, from you, right now. When I'm around you and there are these things that I feel, I lose a part of me to you, and I really want to work on recovering that."  
  
Miguel couldn't believe his ears. "You're saying that being around me makes you somehow less than what you are? I don't get it Kay, we've always been the perfect compliment to one another, I don't know why this has to change."  
  
"Miguel, things change as people do. I know that we'll always be friends, but until I can figure out how to make this change work for me and for both of us, I know, and you must know, that we need some time apart."  
  
And slowly, Miguel realized that she was right. If Kay's feelings were conflicting with the established parameters of the friendship, then something had to give at some point. At the same time, he wasn't sure how he'd ever deal with the immense sense of loss that he felt right now. "Kay, I." his voice faltered. He cleared his throat and continued, "I understand. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do without."  
  
Kay gently interrupted him. "But that's part of the problem, right? You're already focused on you and how you'll be losing out. You need to think about how I feel so that things like last night won't ever happen again. And I need time to figure out to what extent Reese was right. I don't know what you're going to do," she paused as Nicholas opened his eyes and looked straight into her eyes, into her. She smiled and continued, "But I think it's time that we both explored possibilities that our friendship kept us from." She broke the connection.  
  
"Wow," Nicholas said. "Kay, you have spent the last day, evening, night, whatever, amazing me."  
  
Her smile widened and she said, "You're pretty amazing yourself. I can't think of many TA's who would put up with students calling so late, then having emotional break downs."  
  
Nicholas interrupted her, his gaze turning serious. "Kay, you must know that we've moved well beyond the student/TA thing, right? This isn't some pity party. I."  
  
It was her turn to interrupt him, "Oh hush, Nicholas, I would hope that this isn't your MO with all the students.." Her eyes twinkled. "I might get jealous."  
  
"Oh really?" Nicholas responded. "And just."  
  
"Just hush and." Kay started.  
  
Nicholas decided that both of them needed to "just hush and." and so he leaned over and gently pressed his lips to hers.  
  
Electricity crackled through both of them and Kay slipped onto the floor at the force of the encounter. She started to quip, "I've heard of fireworks but." and stopped when she realized that something was extremely different about the room and their surroundings. "Nicholas, do you see."  
  
Nicholas didn't know what Kay was talking about, but he knew he wanted more of whatever he'd just experienced, and that he wanted it now. He reached down, helped Kay stand up, never breaking eye contact, and stood in front of her. Her height meant that they were perfectly aligned with each other. He leaned towards her, and their lips connected again.  
  
Blue heat seared through them both as they held onto each other desperately.  
  
"I don't think I can ever let her go," thought Nicholas.  
  
"I don't think I want you to ever let me go," came her answering thought.  
  
As his hands roamed over her back and he felt her hands do the same, Nicholas continued to respond to what he was feeling through his thoughts. "I won't let you go, Kay Bennett."  
  
"Is that a promise, Nicholas Crane?" Again, her answering thought seared through him along the bands of blue flames that he felt lick through his body at her touch.  
  
His eyes opened to meet hers in shock, although they never broke the connection that their lips, their hands, their bodies, their souls were forming. She met his gaze and allowed him into her mind. He responded instinctively by letting her into his own. Now, they were both experiencing the pleasure of the other, and their own pleasure through the other.  
  
He saw in her eyes and felt in his soul the moment the intense blue heat became too much for her, too much for him. They broke apart.  
  
And stumbled down to the floor. They looked at each other from sitting positions on his floor, attempting to cope with the state of being separated after such an intense connection, trying to get used to being two instead of one. Nicholas spoke just seconds before Kay did.  
  
"Did you really."  
  
"Did you FEEL that?!" she exclaimed.  
  
Nicholas' sharp wit kicked in to cover the sense of loss he felt. "No, I missed being semi-electrocuted and flung into someone else's thoughts."  
  
Kay was somehow hurt as his flippant dismissal of what had happened. "Nicholas, it wasn't just that, the entire room went crazy. I would have sworn that your furniture started glowing."  
  
"Kay, I saw all of that, I just need a minute to think, okay? Let's just sit for a minute and think." Nicholas was desperately trying to hold it together. He thought Kay was special and all, but nothing like this had ever happened to him. And he wasn't sure that he was ready for what it meant.  
  
Kay's mind was whirling as well, but for a very different reason. A story her mom told her as a child was swirling through her mind. She tried to bring it into focus. Something about a young woman in flames. an intense blue light beating back the flames like a flood of water. a man.he jumped through the flames, and it was as if the blue light were protecting him. protecting the woman. and the man saved the woman. Kay had always thought that was her mom's old fashioned way of telling her the story of how her parents met without traumatizing her. Her mom, Grace, had always said it was the blue light and the calm that it produced that let her know that she and Sam, Kay's father, were meant to be. With sudden clarity, she realized that the story wasn't a story at all, but an accurate account of what had happened. If that were true. She had to know.  
  
She reached into her bag and brought out a safety pin. As Nicholas watched incredulously, she pricked her finger deeply, so that a small stream of blood began to flow. She grabbed his hand, looked into his eyes and smiled. In spite of himself, Nicholas smiled back. They both saw the room get flushed with a cool blue light and, now that they were expecting it, did not feel the burn so much as the soothing calm of the light. Kay let go of his hand, and without looking because she knew what had happened, showed him her finger. newly healed.  
  
"What the.?" Nicholas began.  
  
Kay shushed him. "I want to tell you about a story my mom used to tell my sister and I about how she and my father met. My mom used to say that it was the first day of the rest of her life, which should be taken literally, since she doesn't remember anything before that. She remembers being trapped in a burning building, feeling as though she were going to die. And my father was a firefighter at the time. No one thought that he would get to her in time; she was on the third floor, trapped between a wall of flames in front and fallen timbers behind her. But he had to try. When he got to the wall of flames, he said it was like God's grace from above hit him and he felt this calm fall over the space, despite the raging fire. My mom, too, remembers the blue. She says it drowned out the significance of the fire's heat, this all encompassing and total blue heat that now engulfed them. My dad jumped through the flames and brought her out. Neither of them were hurt. They decided that my mother's new name would be Grace to honor the grace of God that saved them both. I always thought it was a strange story. Come to think of it, when we were younger, Jessica, my sister, and I never teased each other about having crushes, we used to call it feeling blue." She faded as she realized that Nicholas had gone stiff during the course of her story.  
  
"Nicholas, what are you thinking?"  
  
"I'm thinking I'm not ready for this," he said without thinking. "This is too much, we just met, just started getting to know each other, you're talking about falling in 'blue' and stuff." he was muttering out loud and something in the back of his head said he should keep his mouth shut for a bit instead of thinking out loud, but he kept going. ". just trying to be friendly and comfort you and now there's all this. blue. this crazy blue."  
  
Kay abruptly stood up. She was a strong person but not even she could take two heartbreaking experiences in the space of two days. "Nicholas, maybe we need a little time to. uh. think about um. all of uh. this. Give me a call when or if you want."  
  
Nicholas, still wrapped up in the complexities of his feelings about the matter and trying to interpret her story, barely noticed that she'd left. He sat staring at the door as she closed it, thinking about the impossible events of the evening. 


	10. A different sort of blue

AN: Sorry for the long pause, I should be updating fairly regularly from now on. Here's a long chapter to make up for the delay!  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Two weeks later.  
  
Kay was walking through campus on her way to class, her spirits mellow and calm. It had taken her awhile to process the crazy events of that 24 hour period in her life, but she had. Despite her new found feelings for Nicholas, and their obvious intensity, Kay had decided that she needed a break from men altogether. She had rushed into things with Nicholas and had been burned just as much as she had by taking things painstakingly slow with Miguel. She needed to be alone for awhile.  
  
She smiled, her decision bringing her peace of mind. She looked around her campus and saw that the snow laying on the ground reflected the sun beautifully onto all of its gothic style buildings. .And suddenly she felt the familiar sense of disorientation as the world inverted around her. She smirked as she felt the numbing pain in her shoulder and ankle.  
  
She didn't see anyone around, but she said the obligatory, "Shoot!" and began to assess the damage. This time, she was pretty sure that she had done a bit of damage to her ankle. That snow covered a hard layer of ice and wasn't so cute anymore now that she was up close and personal with it. She tried to shift her weight to stand and was surprised when everything seemed to work properly. Until she went to put weight on her ankle and pain ripped up her leg. Mortified, she realized that she wasn't going to be able to get up on her own.  
  
"Kay!" a voice called from behind her. "Kay, are you alright?" Kay squinted up into the sun and saw Simone looking down at her. Stunning as always, Simone was decked out in a bright blue loose fitting shirt with impossibly tight white pants.  
  
Kay grinned up at her. "Well, besides being blinded by the snow and that shirt you're wearing, I'm peachy."  
  
Simone lightly kicked Kay in the side with her chunky white boots and bent over to help Kay stand. With the help of Simone's shoulder, Kay was able to stand up to her full height.  
  
"Where do you live?" Simone asked her, looking vaguely around the campus.  
  
"Umm, just over there in that dorm building. If you could just help me get over there."  
  
Simone grinned at her and started leading her in the opposite direction. "Oh, I was asking for future reference. Since you're clearly not going to class now, what with being an invalid and all, you might as well hang out with me for a bit. I've gotta get some stuff for my new apartment."  
  
Kay hobbled along beside her. She was about to protest, but remembered that she'd sworn off guys. If hanging out with Simone didn't help her get perspective and start making new friends, nothing would. She grinned back at Simone and responded, "Not that I have a choice in the matter, but that sounds like a plan to me."  
  
"Cool, I just need to pick up a friend and then we'll head to the store."  
  
"Oh, who's your friend?" Kay asked idly as they slowly made their way to Simone's car.  
  
"Oh, maybe you know her, she's our year, her name is Charity."  
  
Kay winced internally. "Umm, yeah, I went to a birthday cook-out for her I think."  
  
Simone looked at her, sensing something was up. "Are you alright?"  
  
Don't blow this, Kay thought to herself. If it means hanging out with Simone, you could put up with Charity for a bit. It's not like you even have a real problem with her. If Miguel wants to hang all over her, so be it, you're getting over him. "Oh, I'm fine, I just leaned a little too hard on my ankle."  
  
"Well, here's my car, so there'll be no danger of that happening again." Simone led her to the front passenger seat. As they got into the car and pulled off, Simone thought of something. "Oh wait, you can't walk! How're you going to get around the store?!"  
  
Kay grinned, having already thought of that. "Well, I could."  
  
Simone interrupted her, "Oh, you could just ride in one of those electronic cart thingies. I've always wanted to point and laugh at one of my friends in one of those things."  
  
Kay smirked at Simone. "Well, I was going to suggest the same thing, only I was going to say I've always wanted to ride in one of them."  
  
Simone winked at her. "Riiight. You know it's your dream to have me point and laugh at you in one of those things," She pulled to the curb and whipped out her cell phone. "Charity!" she yelled into it, holding it awkwardly. "Charity! Can you hear me?! I'm down here in front of your place!!"  
  
Kay winced and involuntarily covered her ears as she wondered when this Charity chick had gone deaf to require all that yelling. When she heard the yelled reply from Simone's cell phone, she couldn't help but laughing.  
  
"SIMONE!" came Charity's voice. "SIMONE, IT'S A CELL PHONE NOT A BULLHORN. STOP YELLING INTO THE THING!!! I can hear you!"  
  
Simone looked sheepish. "Oh yeah. Well, I'm here chic so get down here." She clicked the phone off after a brief search for the right button and looked over at Kay. "I hate that damned thing, but it saves tons of energy. Can you imagine when people actually had to leave their car to get a friend?" She and Kay gave snorts of laughter together.  
  
After a few minutes, Charity bounded down the steps of her building and hopped into the backseat of the car behind Simone. "Hey Simone!" she chirped. Kay struggled to keep from rolling her eyes. She couldn't imagine how someone got that much pep into two words. Kay grinned when she noticed that Simone didn't even bother trying to mask her eye roll. Kay was slightly impressed when Charity lightly popped Simone on the head. At least the girl had spunk and the ability to laugh at herself.  
  
Charity turned her blue eyes to Kay. "Hey there, you're Kay right?"  
  
Kay found herself smiling at Charity in spite of herself. "That's me. How's it goin'?"  
  
"It's goin. If this girl in front of me would stop rolling her eyes and focus on the road." Charity smiled so sweetly that if Kay hadn't been paying attention to the words, she would have sworn that Charity had just paid someone a compliment.  
  
"Hey now, this ain't Drivin' Miss Daisy, you chill out and I'll do what I like up here." Simone stuck her tongue out at Charity as punctuation using the rearview mirror.  
  
The banter continued until they got to the store and Simone and Charity hopped out of the car. Simone walked away from the car towards the cart dispenser to get Kay transportation. "Charity, can you help Kay out of the car while I get her one of these things? She had a lil mishap and is a little incapacitated."  
  
"Sure thing. Just try not to break the dispenser, we know how bad you are with technology." Simone ran quickly back to the car, wacked Charity on the arm, and bounded away again. Charity walked to Kay's side of the car.  
  
"Here, take my arm." Charity began.  
  
As Kay gripped Chairty's arm for support, it seemed as if the sun's light flashed intensely for a second and a blinding blue heat seared through Kay's hand, into her arm, and through her body until it hit her ankle. And, although somewhat shakily, Kay stood up without effort, all the pain gone from her ankle.  
  
Charity looked into Kay's eyes and said calmly, "We need to talk, but not here, and not now. Simone knows about this, but we can't talk in public. We'll shop like normal and talk when we get back to Simone's."  
  
Kay, stunned by her miraculous recovery already, was thrown completely off balance by Charity's little speech and sat down hard back into the car.  
  
"Kay?" Charity was unsure of how to proceed. She had no clue how much Kay knew about what had just happened and didn't want to frighten her. "Kay, are you alright?"  
  
"Charity, you just healed my ankle! I feel better, but I'm damn far from alright!!"  
  
Charity grimaced internally, but kept her face expressionless. I guess she doesn't know much, Charity thought to herself. "Kay, I promise, I can explain this. well, mostly I think. But it's nothing to worry about. Let's just finish here and get back to Simone's. I promise, I'll explain everything," she said again.  
  
Kay, beginning to realize that her life was just never gonna be the happily interrogative existence that she longed for, nodded numbly and followed Charity to the store. Simone briefly attempted to ask about Kay not needing the motorized wheelchair, but Charity shushed her with an intense look. ------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Dude man, what's going on?" Simone asked the minute they had brought all of the bags into her apartment.  
  
Kay looked at Charity, indicating that she was the only person who had a clue what was going on.  
  
Charity, for her part, looked slightly nervous, but strangely excited. She told them both to have a seat and started pacing around, wringing her hands. "Okay," she jumped right in. "Kay, have you ever seen or felt that blue heat before?"  
  
Kay turned bright red, remembering that night a couple of weeks ago. But, that was with Nicholas. Kay was a pretty liberal woman, but she was pretty sure that she wasn't in love with Charity. She decided, once again true to her nature, to lay all her cards out on the table and see what happened. She told Charity and Simone the events of that night in detail.  
  
At the end, Simone jumped up and shouted, "That's why that fool has been acting so retarded. Man, Kay, you sure did a number on him." Simone started grinning now that her worry over Nicholas's state could fade with this new information. "Oh dude man, I'm gonna rag on him to no end about this."  
  
Simone's grin only widened at Kay's look of panic. She loved stirring things up a bit. Besides, her long time friend and supporter would suit this new friend of hers just fine. A glance at Charity, though, told her that there were more somber and important matters to discuss for the time being. But she filed away plans for Nicholas and Kay for later.  
  
Charity, for her part, had turned even paler as she ran the details of Kay's story through her mind. Something about a young woman in flames. Flames. Her mother had always been afraid of real fire, which Charity thought ironic, given the cool blue heat all the women of her family shared. Charity had always understood this fear, however, since Faith, her mother, had lost her twin sister to fire.  
  
Kay and Simone were both worried by the shock apparent on Charity's delicate visage. Simone was the first to break the silence. "Charity, what's the matter, I thought you already knew about this stuff? Doesn't this just mean that you and Kay are related somehow?"  
  
Kay looked at Simone in shock. "You knew about this. this. this blue thing? It runs in her family?" Slowly, Kay began to piece together the puzzle in her mind. "So, it must not be only love that triggers it, but family contact, right?" she muttered more to herself. "So this is great news." she continued as she whipped around to face Simone. "My mother's had amnesia since before I was born, this means I might finally have found some of my family!" Kay turned to face Charity now, her face shining. "Charity, we could be distant cousins or something!"  
  
Charity slowly came out of her daze as the color returned to her cheeks. "Kay." she began. "Kay, we're not distant cousins."  
  
"I mean, okay, maybe not, but how else would you explain this?" Kay was inexplicably hurt to hear Charity deny their relationship. She had always valued family above all else and it didn't seem as though Charity was willing to share hers, despite this extraordinary proof of their relation.  
  
"Kay, let me finish," Charity said, her voice stronger now and a matching grin growing across her face. "Kay, we're not distant cousins. We're first cousins." 


	11. Family Matters

Chapter 11  
  
"Kay, let me finish," Charity said, her voice stronger now and a matching grin growing across her face. "Kay, we're not distant cousins. We're first cousins."  
  
"I don't understand," Kay sputtered. "How could you possibly know that?"  
  
Charity smiled sadly and replied, "I know the beginning to your mother's story about the blue heat that helped defeat the real fire."  
  
Simone, realizing something heavy was about to go down, slipped out to Haeven and left the two women alone.  
  
Kay and Charity sat down on a sofa as Charity told her story.  
  
"The women in my family have always wielded the power of blue, as we call it. The contradiction that it embodies, a cool blue heat derived from a warm and true love, is symbolic of the true power that it holds, to contradict the opposite of love, in all its forms. You and I touching healed your ankle because pain is the opposite of the joy that is a part of love. The blue light that engulfs rooms when two of our family members touch or one of us comes into contact with our true love, is a reflection of this blue heat, that cools and soothes, even as it burns the wielder."  
  
Simone burst into the room carrying a cup holder with three tall containers. "Milkshakes all around," she announced. She promptly took a seat across the room from the two cousins and started slurping happily away on her shake. Kay reached over to grab one for herself and began sipping on it quite a bit softer than Simone. Charity simply placed on in front of herself on the coffee table and continued her story.  
  
"My mom, her name's Faith, used to live with her twin sister Grace in an apartment when they were undergrads at the local theological seminary. Mom stepped out one day for matches to light their gas stove. She must have left the gas turned on, because later she was told that it appeared that the heat from her sister's iron had caught the gas and the apartment went up in flames. By the time Faith got back from the store, the apartment had burned to the ground. The old woman next door who used to look out for my mom and her sister told her that Grace had died in the fire."  
  
"But that's not true!" Kay shouted. "My mother didn't die, she was rescued; no one could find anyone who knew who she was. How could Faith have abandoned her sister?"  
  
"Kay, I don't understand what could have happened; our mother's will have to sort this out on their own." Charity began.  
  
"But how?" Kay understood now, what had happened, but she felt cheated. She wanted to understand how her mother could have so easily lost half her family. "How will we ever know?"  
  
Charity smiled again, remembering that, despite the horrible circumstances that had separated the family, the potential that they could tap into now that they were reunited. "Kay, if we could heal your ankle with a simple touch, and you weren't even aware of the nature of your blue, can you imagine what the blue of two twin sisters who understand their potential could do? Grace's. I mean, Aunt Grace's amnesia can be taken care of just as easily."  
  
Kay sat back as she let the evening's news soak in. She took a long, powerful slurp from her milkshake straw, just as Charity and Simone did the same.  
  
Simone looked up and grinned. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about." she said, pleased with recent developments beyond belief. She had picked up on the tension between the two women the moment she'd mentioned Charity's name to Kay earlier that day. Now it seemed as though that would be put to rest. "Hey, you two," she said thoughtfully. "You know, my back has been KILLING me recently, think you could lay a lil of that blue on me?" She wiggled her eyebrows at them both.  
  
Kay grinned back. "Simone, your shirt is blue enough to handle that on its own." She stuck her tongue out at Simone's pout. "But I suppose a little of our special blue couldn't hurt." 


	12. Real Love

Chapter 12  
  
--- Kay, Charity, and Simone took a short road trip back to Harmony, picking up Faith on the way in Boston. The two families reunited and celebrated and tested their powers. Faith and her husband David decided to relocate to Harmony and commute to Boston for work so that they could spend more time getting to know the Bennett half of their family. After a few days, however, the college women had to return to campus. Blue couldn't help them pass classes that they skipped too often, after all.-  
  
Three weeks later.  
  
"HEY KAY!" yelled Simone into her cell phone. "It's CHICA'S NIGHT! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE READY?"  
  
Kay held her phone away from her ears and winced as usual. "SIMONE, STOP YELLING INTO THE PHONE!" She continued at a lower decibel level, "I can't understand a word you say when you yell like that."  
  
Simone grinned at Charity who was sitting next to her in her car. She whispered at Charity, "Kay still thinks I can't use a cell phone. She doesn't know I yell into it strictly to piss her off these days."  
  
"I HEARD THAT!" yelled Kay. "Simone Russell, you oughta be ashamed of yourself." Kay grinned at her friend's audacity in spite of herself. "I'm on my way down the stairs now. Lata chica!" Kay had dressed in the mandatory uniform of chicas' night - funky jeans with a bright blue t- shirt. The three friends had instituted this night to commemorate that night a few weeks ago when Charity and Kay had realized their familial relationship, and to celebrate the friendship the three women had forged because of that. As she bounded down the last few steps, Kay had a brief moment to herself to reflect upon the recent turn for the better in her life. She had not only found the space she needed to discover an entirely new part of herself, but she'd done so without Miguel and without Nicholas. As images of the two men flickered through her mind, she gently shoved them back as she prepared to dive into ladies night.  
  
"Let's get a move on, chicas," Kay said as she hopped into the backseat of Simone's car. "I don't know what took you guys so long anyway," she grinned innocently, knowing full well they'd waited for her for at least 15 minutes.  
  
She was awarded a wack from Charity and Simone stuck her tongue out at her as she pulled off towards Haeva for milkshakes. --------------------------------  
  
"Let's do something different tonight, chicas," said Simone with a sneaky grin.  
  
"Uh-oh," groaned Kay and Charity. "What craziness do you have in mind now?"  
  
Simone's sneaky grin always meant something fun. something insane, but something fun.  
  
"There's this great new spot next door." she began.  
  
Kay snorted. "Simone, you own this place, why would you have us go next door to a competitor when we can hang here?"  
  
"And for free, might I add," interjected Charity.  
  
"You guys, I'm not above flippin' the script every now and then, even if it does mean helping out the competition a little."  
  
"RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT," said Kay and Charity at the same time.  
  
"Come on, Simone, give it up, what are you gonna have us doing tonight?"  
  
Simone's grin got even more wicked. "Oh, you'll just love it, come on, let's go!" She dragged her friends out of their private room in the back of Haeven and pulled them into the street and down the block. She shot a quick glance over her shoulder, catching a glimpse through the tatters of her off the shoulder blue t-shirt of someone slipping out of Haeven behind them. "Mmmmmhmmmm." she thought. "This IS gonna be interesting."  
  
Half an hour later.  
  
"You see I'm searchin' for a real love and I don't know where to go!" bellowed Kay.  
  
"I've been around the world and high and low; it seems I'll never know!" shouted Charity in response.  
  
"How it feels to have a real love 'cuz it seems there's none around!" Simone finished Charity's line.  
  
"I've gotta end it in this way, since he can't be found!" Kay embellished this line as Charity and Simone jumped in.  
  
"Real Love! I'm searchin' for a real love. Someone to set my heart free, real love! I-iiiiiiiii'm searchin' for a real love!"  
  
They all dropped their voices. "Got to have a real love." and burst into giggles.  
  
"Ladies, ladies," came a disembodied voice, "That's the third song you've ended on giggles. As. er. lovely. ehem. as your voices are, could you please. PLEASE call it a night?"  
  
"We can take a hint!" Kay shouted into the microphone she was holding. "Y'all ain't ready for us yet, I see how it is."  
  
With that, she, Charity, and Simone laughed their ways to their table at the karaoke bar. Charity turned to Simone and admitted, "This has been, by far, the best idea you've ever had."  
  
Kay snorted, "You mean singing 'Real Love' by Mary J. or coming to this bar?"  
  
Simone wacked Kay lightly, and grinned at both of them. "I know, BOTH ideas were some of my best yet." She paused for effect. "And apparently, those guys over there think so too." She nodded her head in the direction of three guys who were sending not so covert looks their way. She looks more closely at one of them, who's making no attempt to hide his ogling. "And that one right there sure has it bad for you Kay."  
  
Charity looked in the direction Simone was indicating and added, "Oh man, and he's the hottest one over there. Wait a sec, he looks really familiar."  
  
High on the joys of bonding with the chica's, Kay began flippantly, "I'm sure he's not all tha.oh SHIT!" she ended abruptly.  
  
Charity and Simone gave her surprised looks. "I mean, damn, he's not THAT fine," Simone began.  
  
Kay tried to keep a smile on her face as she abruptly turned her back on the group of guys. "That's MIGUEL, you guys!" she whispered urgently. "Oh God, don't let him come over here. Don't tell me he's coming over here."  
  
Simone smirked, enjoying Kay's discomfort immensely. "Okay, I won't TELL you he's not. but he is." She thought it was high time Kay dealt with this old baggage and moved on.  
  
Kay bit her lip to keep from groaning out loud. She turned around all smiles as Miguel approached. "Hey there, how's it goin'"? She asked, hoping that her voice maintained some degree of normalcy.  
  
Miguel grinned awkwardly. He'd really missed Kay this past month and a half, and he was hurt to realize that she seemed to be getting along just fine without him. "I'm fine, Kay. And it seems like you're doing wonderfully as well."  
  
Kay took a brief internal pause and assessment, and realized that he was right, she had been doing wonderfully. She gave him an honest grin in return. "You're right, Miguel, I have been. It's good to see you."  
  
As Kay and Miguel began a tentative, yet increasingly less awkward conversation, Charity absently flirted with his two friends, who seemed to be called Reese and Chad. Simone saw movement out of the corner of her eye and smirked to herself. She hated for her friend to have to go through what was about to happen, but it needed to happen. She faded into the background as much as a beautiful woman with a barely there neon blue t- shirt could to watch the action.  
  
"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but the last time I recall you two talking, I believe Kay informed you that she didn't need to hear from you again," said a quiet, yet stony voice.  
  
"NICHOLAS!" Kay shouted. "What on earth?!"  
  
Miguel groaned on the inside. He'd just been making headway with his old friend when his main competitor for her attention appeared out of nowhere. He gritted his teeth and turned around to face Nicholas.  
  
"It appears that she does want to hear from me and that you're the uninvited guest here right now." Miguel said sharply.  
  
Charity, Reese, and Chad ended all pretense of other conversation and listened to the escalating voices with interest.  
  
"Actually, neither of you were invited to this table, but I appreciate both of you stopping by," said Kay with a calm that surprised herself.  
  
Neither man was sure what to make of such a succinct, yet definitive dismissal. Miguel, the bolder of the two, was not about to let the interaction end just like that.  
  
"Kay, why don't you and I catch a movie sometime next week?" At her skeptical look, he continued, "Nothing. nothing, you know. nothing serious, just a movie. if. if that's okay. with you. okay, I mean." he stuttered. This new Kay, who seems immune to his considerable charm, made him nervous.  
  
Please to see the effect her poise was having, Kay replied, "Sure, let's plan for Saturday evening." Her grin faltered slightly as she watch Nicholas slowly fade towards the front of the bar. She recovered quickly and smiled dismissively at Miguel. "I'll meet you at the Cineplex, we can pick something when we get there."  
  
"Sounds good." Miguel replied, and he slowly backed away from the table, knocking into several on his backwards retreat to the bar across the room.  
  
Kay looked at Charity and Simone, who were barely containing their laughter at the man's awkward retreat. The looks they shared dissolved their last bit of control and they began giggling and repeating snippets from the conversation in mock-deep voices.  
  
"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but I am going to, and embarrass the hell out of myself in the process!" snorted Simone, mimicking her dear friend Nicholas.  
  
"Uhhh.er. um. just a movie.ummm. duhh." snickered Charity, imitating Miguel's unfortunate stutter.  
  
Kay began to exaggerate walking backwards and falling into people and tables on the way.  
  
The women order a round of "dirty girlscout" shots to finish up the night, and, much to the dismay of the DJ, treat the bar to their own special rendition of Aaliyah's "Back and Forth" before stumbling back to Simone's for the chicas' night sleepover/hangover after-party. 


	13. Miguel becomes aware

Chapter 13  
  
Kay was frantically throwing clothes all over her room while Simone and Charity watched, amused at their friend's sudden girlie behavior.  
  
"You know Kay, there are unclothed children in the third world who could use some of that stuff you're throwing around," smirked Simone.  
  
Kay stopped throwing clothes on her bed and whirled around to face Simone, looking panicked. "Oh no! You're right. Okay, I promise to donate it all tomorrow, is that good?"  
  
Charity laughed at her and replied, "No, it's not good, those shoes are mine and the clothes are all Simone's. You can't donate stuff you don't own; Simone was just teasing you." Hanging out with the chicas at the gym had greatly improved Kay's figure. She was never going to be a waif like Charity because of her height and build, but since Simone was. voluptuous, most of her clothes fit.  
  
Flustered, Kay looked at Simone, who fell off the edge of the bed laughing. "Kay, I'm sorry," she said as she righted herself. "You're just too cute running around like that. I will donate those clothes when you're done, if that makes you feel any better. I always donate my wardrobe at the end of the season."  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly. "I am in a bit of a tizzy, huh?"  
  
"Yes, a bit of a tizzy," Charity repeated in a British accent. "Will you be having biscuits and Earl Grey to calm yourself now?" She threw a pillow at Kay. "Seriously, though, I see why, that Miguel sure is a hottie. And I remember how great his arms felt wrapped around me at my birthday." Charity ducked as Kay lobbed the pillow back at her.  
  
"You think he's so hot, YOU go out with him tonight," Kay retorted. "Would save me tons of stress."  
  
"Oh no, you don't," Simone jumped in. "You and Miguel need to spend time together." Her tone turned serious. "Kay, this past month of chicas' nights and such has been wonderful, but you'll appreciate us lots more when we're not just a way for you to forget you have other friends."  
  
"You guys, I love chicas' night because I spend time with you, not because I'm replacing Miguel or Nic.replacing people." Kay finished lamely.  
  
Simone grinned. "Prove it, then, that you're not replacing Miguel or Nic.I mean PEOPLE with us by going out with Miguel and having a great time."  
  
Kay grinned back and dodged another pillow, this time thrown by Simone. "Okay then, I will. Hand me that shirt with the flowing sleeves."  
  
Charity through it at her and commented, "Kay, you naughty girl, it's see- through!"  
  
Kay winked at them. "I know." -------------------------------  
  
"Goodnight, Miguel, it was fun!" Kay smiled at her friend. She couldn't believe she thought tonight was going to be such a big deal. Once they'd gotten past the initial awkwardness, it had been just like old times. At certain points, she recognized the old crush about to flair up, but it wasn't overpowering and didn't guide all her actions like before.  
  
"Yeah, it was," Miguel replied. But are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" Miguel was worried about the walk she had with it being so late. The area around campus was pretty safe during the day, but at night, there were lots of muggings.  
  
"I'm fine, you nut. I can protect myself," Kay said, almost self- depreciatingly. Miguel didn't smile back. "Kay, it's not about size, it's about being safe. Let me walk you back."  
  
Kay was getting confused and more than a little perturbed at his sudden chauvinism. "Miguel, with you, it's all about size, all the time, remember? I'll be fine," she insisted. Catching sight of the concern clearly on his face, she decided to soften her tone a little. "See you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
Miguel reluctantly agreed. There was something about what she'd just said that he wanted to argue with, but he couldn't figure out what it was at the moment. "G'nite Kay, see you tomorrow."  
  
Kay began the long walk home, suddenly not as secure as she'd felt a minute ago about her safety. Don't be stupid,, she said to herself. You can always take care of yourself.  
  
Nevertheless, she picked up the pace as a car slowly approached from behind her. "Hey there big girl," called a slightly slurred voice from the window. Kay walked even faster and ignored the man. "Want company tonight?" the man continued.  
  
Disgusted by the gross invitation, Kay began to lightly jog, moving further away from the road as she went. She heard feet pounding behind her and quickened to a sprint. Despite her recent forays into the gym, she wasn't sure she could keep the pace up for long, but she'd try. The man in the car kept yelling things at her, his speech getting more slurred and more explicit as he continued. The steps behind her were getting closer. She reached for her phone in her bag and dialed number 1 on the speed-dial. Miguel picked up immediately.  
  
"Miguel, I'm sorry, I should have accepted your offer, I'm running away from some guy now, I'm going to backtrack to your place because it's closer okay? Can you let me in?" Her words were released on a gasp, as she was becoming winded. The response made relief swirl through her.  
  
"Kay, stop running, it's me behind you, you nut!" Miguel yelled into the phone.  
  
Kay immediately stopped, and the man in the car took this as a signal that she was finally responding to his advances. She prayed that Miguel would catch up to her quickly. The drunk man began to get out of his car. Kay slowly backed away, filled with dread as she realized she didn't hear footsteps anymore. Where the hell is he?, she screamed in her head.  
  
Suddenly, the drunk man staggered backwards as if jerked by a collar. He slammed against his own car, as a shape in front of him began pounding into him.  
  
"Miguel, stop it!" Kay screamed. "I'm fine now, you'll get in trouble!"  
  
Miguel could barely hear Kay over the anger pounding through him. But slowly, her words sank in Breathing heavily, he released his grip on the man and allowed him to slump to the ground. He whipped around.  
  
"Kay, are you alright?" Miguel's anger, needing an outlet, transferred to Kay. "I told you that I should walk with you, why the hell are you so friggin' stubborn? I could have protected you from that!" He was screaming at her now.  
  
Suddenly, his anger had faded, leaving him with only fear. Miguel panicked as he realized exactly how afraid for Kay he was. His Kay had almost been. he didn't want to finish his thought.  
  
Kay, for her part, was still seething with rage, and welcomed Miguel as its target. "You ass. I could have handled the idiot in the car. I was afraid of the guy chasing me, who turned out to be you, you moron!"  
  
Fear for her had him yelling back, "What do you mean you could have handled the guy in the car?! He wanted to."  
  
"I know what he wanted! The same thing that they all want. They see some unattractive woman and think they're doing her a favor by calling out to her. It's nothing different from any other night," she finished.  
  
Miguel's anger returned, and he welcomed it. Anything but this all encompassing fear. "Every other night? This happens all the time? What kind of freak thinks that's okay?"  
  
"A FREAK?! Now you think I'm a freak? Just because I can take care of myself? Miguel, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm fine now, the whole neighborhood knows I'm fine now, you can go home now." Kay angrily wiped her face as she realized that tears were coursing down her cheeks.  
  
Miguel saw them too and was instantly sorry. "Kay, please. I only meant that."  
  
"You only meant that I'm a freak because I don't fawn all over you like all the other women do, that I'm not acting simperingly grateful that you came to my rescue, that I don't think I needed rescuing. You only meant exactly what you said." Kay began to walk away from Miguel, towards her apartment.  
  
"Kay stop!" Miguel yelled. "Just stoop! That's not what I meant at all. I meant that it's freaky how you seem to think that that idiot's behavior is normal, how you think that it's normal for stuff like that to happen because of your size. It's not normal, it's not okay, and if me walking with you will prevent that, it's not a matter of you not being able to defend yourself, it's a matter of me being able to help you."  
  
Kay turned slowly around. "You don't think I'm a freak because I could have fought off the guy if I'd had to?"  
  
Miguel grinned at her. "I think it's great. Next time, would you mind stepping in? I think I bruised my fist and I could have used your help with the loser."  
  
Kay smiled back. "Don't worry, Miguel. You and me, we'll beat up the next pervert together."  
  
Miguel felt relieved to see her smile again. He suddenly felt responsible for making sure she never had a reason to cry again. "Hey Kay, I'm beat, and your place is still pretty far away. Why don't you take pity on me and crash at my place tonight?"  
  
Kay was immediately nervous. "Miguel, I don't think that's a good idea. Look, I'll be fine."  
  
"Oh no. We've had enough of you being fine on your own tonight. I must have given you the impression that you had a choice in the matter. You're crashing at my place tonight," Miguel insisted.  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly and silently agreed. "I could have kicked his ass, you know," she said to him as they began walking back towards his place.  
  
"I know," Miguel stopped and looked at her. It's kind of nice being able to look a woman in the eye, he noticed. "Kay, I."  
  
Kay returned his steady gaze and smiled slowly. "Thank you, Miguel," she said, interrupting his sentence. She leaned in and gave him a hug, that he returned. Not one of his goofy bear hugs, but a brief squeeze that allowed the physical closeness they needed to mirror the emotional one they both felt. Miguel, not wanting their connection to end, let his hand continue to rest on her hip as they continued walking to his place in silence.  
  
As he fumbled through his pockets for his keys at the door, Kay let her head fall softly to his shoulder. In her exhaustion, she forgot about the caution she normally took to minimize contact between them.  
  
Miguel's reaction was swift and jarring to both of them. He instantly tightened his grip on her hip and pulled her closer, all thoughts of keys leaving his mind as he focused on the soft figure by his side.  
  
Kay, instantly alert with his response, lifted her head and met his eyes with surprise.  
  
Miguel's eyes widened as they stood face to face once more. "Your eyes are beautiful," he murmured without thinking.  
  
Her slow smile, so similar to all the thousands of others she'd graced him with over the years seemed different somehow.  
  
"Must be the lights," he whispered, again without thinking.  
  
"Hmm?" Kay questioned.  
  
Miguel cleared his throat and mumbled, breaking eye contact, "The lights. uhhh. they must be different here or something."  
  
Kay grinned knowingly as her heart soared in recognition of the feelings she'd seen in his eyes. Even if he hadn't realized it, Kay could finally believe they had a chance. She wasn't sure that it was meant to be, but after so many years of waiting, she thought she deserved a chance.  
  
"Yeah, your eyes look kinda funny too," she said, giggling.  
  
Miguel found his keys finally, and let them in. 


	14. Aware of an absence

Chapter 14  
  
"Damn, Kay, what the hell happened to you?" asked Reese from his deep slouch on the sofa.  
  
Miguel punched him lightly on the shoulder and said, "Reese, dude, were you raised in a barn? That's not how you greet a guest."  
  
Kay must have been thinking the same thing as Reese because she snorted behind her hand as Reese looked up incredulously at Miguel and responded, "Kay? A guest? Since when? She's always just been one of the guys."  
  
Miguel winced instead of Kay at Reese's carelessness for the first time. It suddenly occurred to him what it must be like to constantly have one's femininity undermined. Strong woman or no, Kay was still a woman and the stirrings in his body as she wiggled next to him while laughing were sending him a sure reminder of that fact.  
  
Kay sensed Miguel getting upset, and while she was pleasantly surprised at the fact, she didn't want to cause trouble between the two best friends. "Miguel," she murmured, "It's alright."  
  
Kay's soft acceptance of Reese's words made him cringe all the more. "Reese, tonight, Kay is a guest, so just knock it off, okay?"  
  
Reese smirked to himself. I know what's goin' on here buddy, and it's about damned time. Now maybe I'll get an intro to that cute sister of hers. Unwilling to let his mischief, go, however, Reese thought up another tactic. "Fine, fine, whatever you say man." He paused for effect, just to let the moment's awkwardness fade. All the better to create more in a second, he thought. "I guess I better clear the couch then so you can crash Kay.." he said, letting the end of his sentence trail off as he began to move out of his horizontal slouch and into a sitting position.  
  
Kay immediately started to reach into the hall closet to pull out the blankets she normally used when she slept on their couch.  
  
Miguel watched the preparations with dismay. This was not going as he (and his hormones) had planned. He had to put a stop to this before Kay was snoozing on the couch and he was alone and frustrated upstairs. "Actually, Kay, it's been so long since we've had a chance to hang out.." Kay looked down sheepishly at this. Miguel continued, "..So why don't you come upstairs and we can chat for awhile, and Reese con continue vegetating on the couch."  
  
Reese could barely contain the snort that rose in his throat at this. Smooth, Miguel, real smooth, he thought. But not as smooth as me. "Oh, Miguel, after being so rude to our guest, I wouldn't want to put you guys out, I'll vacate the couch and head to bed and you two can talk down here, there's more room." Beat that, Miguel, Reese thought, hitting his stride in deviousness.  
  
"Ummm." Miguel thought quickly and came up with nothing. So he decided to remove the problem. "Reese, can I talk to you for a sec?"  
  
"Sure, buddy, what's up?" Reese asked, not moving an inch.  
  
"I mean, in the kitchen," Miguel said, willing his teeth to unclench so he could get the words out.  
  
"Ooooooooooooh, hehe, sure thing, after you," Reese responded, loving every minute of Miguel's tension.  
  
Kay was totally confused. If she hadn't known any better, she would have thought that Miguel was trying to be alone with her. in his bedroom. at night. She was glad he was going to talk to Reese about .. whatever, because she needed a moment to process all of this. It appeared as though what she'd been wishing for, for what seemed like all of her life, was about to happen. Something in the back of her head told her that it probably wasn't a good idea to begin something tonight, since they still hadn't really talked about what had gone wrong with them in the first place. But she also heard Simone's voice in her head, telling her to go for it because she'd never know until it happened whether it was right or not. Simone was definitely winning out until visions of Nicholas and Charity began to pop, uninvited, into her head, spurring on a wave of guilt. She knew what the Nicholas thing was about, but she couldn't think why her cousin's visage should make her feel even more guilty on top of that. Still, she decided to let that devil in bright red on her shoulder named Simone be her guide. She'd work out all the difficulties later, she told herself.  
  
Meanwhile, Miguel was steadily berating a completely unapologetic Reese for his interference. "What the hell was that, Reese? Why are you being so difficult about Kay and I spending time alone in my room?"  
  
Reese put all his mirth on pause to consider the question. The answer he came up with surprised even himself. "Because you've acted like such an ass with Kay since I met the two of you freshman year and I'm not sure that you deserve what you seem to finally want right now."  
  
Miguel looked at him in shock. "What are you talking about?! You're the one who said she had a crush on me, you're the one who was gossiping about her to me, which nearly ended our friendship, I might add."  
  
"Bull," Reese said succinctly, cutting off Miguel's tirade. "I told you she had a crush on you, not so that you could decide one night to let your hormones have your way with her, but so that you wouldn't hurt her." Reese softened his tone. "Miguel, you have got to be one of the most self- centered people I know, and as your best friend, I think it's hilarious, and for some reason, most women seem to think it's charming, but for Kay, it's just one aspect of a person she appears to be in love with. And it's the aspect that's keeping you from returning that affection, or at the very least being straight with her about how you feel so she can move on. Instead, you string her along, happy to have her devotion, as long as it doesn't require any reciprocity from you."  
  
Miguel couldn't believe it. He hadn't wanted to admit it to himself, but he really had had no clue as to why Kay had so easily dismissed him more than a month ago, he only knew that he wanted things to return to the way they were. At least, that's what he'd wanted before tonight. "Yeah well, what if I'm willing to give this whole reciprocity thing a try?" he asked Reese.  
  
Reese gazed at him steadily, attempting to mimic countless movie scenes, in which a person can see if another person is serious by looking into their eyes. He realized that movies were a load of crap; he had no idea whether Miguel was serious or not. "Hey, she's your friend, Miguel, but if you screw this up again, I wouldn't bet on being able to fix it with that wide grin of yours or those big brown eyes either."  
  
With that, Reese happily trotted back to get into his deep slouch on the sofa while a stunned Kay watched as he flopped down on her nicely arranged pillows and blankets. "I won the coin toss, Kay," Reese said absently as he flipped on the TV.  
  
"Huh?" she asked him.  
  
"I. Won. The. Coin. Toss," Reese repeated patiently, as if he were talking to a small child. "That means I get the couch and he get to cram into that tiny room upstairs with Miguel. Too bad."  
  
Kay smirked to herself. Miguel walked into the room with two cokes. "Come on Kay, we.."  
  
"We lost the coin toss, riiiiiight." Kay said as she rolled her eyes. She followed Miguel up to his room. 


	15. Events Discussed

Chapter 15  
  
Miguel shut the door behind him as Kay stood awkwardly by his desk. Besides the chair in front of his computer on his desk, there was nowhere to sit but on his bed. Kay realized suddenly that they had never before spent time together in this room, and she felt even more uncomfortable. Miguel clearly was too, because he just stood beside her.  
  
Kay, still herself despite the weirdness of the situation, broke the silence first. "Sooo.. did you enjoy the movie tonight?" Oh my God, she thought. Did I just say that?  
  
Miguel, tired of his own games and not willing to put up with any new ones she could come up with said, "Yeah, it was great. But we um. we already talked about the movie, right afterwards. I was kinda hoping we could talk about something else."  
  
Kay found herself impressed with his straightforwardness. Miguel had never been one to beat around the bush, but he was always willing to put off serious things in favor of frivolities "Okay, Miguel, what's on your mind?"  
  
"I don't think it's what's on my mind that matters, Kay, I really want to know what's going on in yours. I mean, what has been going on with you." Miguel paused as she struggled to get the next sentence out. "I. I really need to hear from you exactly why we've been on this break from each other for so long.." He paused again as he realized they were still standing. "For goodness sakes, we used to pile on top of each other playing baseball, I don't think it'll hurt if we share sitting on the bed."  
  
She grinned at him and sat. And immediately sobered as she thought about how to phrase her next words. She knew that it was only fair that she finally explain herself to him. As much as she wished he could figure things out on his own, he wasn't a mind reader. "Miguel.. I uh.. I'vehadthisreallyreallybigcrushonyouforalongtime." She said in one breath.  
  
He grinned at her nervousness. It relieved some of his own tension to see that she was off balance because of the situation too. "So I've heard. But Kay, you should have told me. Hearing it from Reese and sniveling petty women isn't the same as hearing it from you. I had no clue.."  
  
"Miguel, yes you did!" she said, a little louder than she had intended. "I didn't tell you, but you knew, you had to have known. You've spent a long time manipulating me because of it, so whether you knew it consciously or not, all you had to do was think about it, about me."  
  
"Hold on a second, there Kay, how have I ever manipulated you?" Miguel couldn't imagine where all this anger was coming from, or why she'd held it in for so long.  
  
"Remember the night of Charity's birthday party? You just assume I'll follow you places, without even telling me where we're going. And then, when I wanted to stay, you knowingly lied to me about practicing baseball to tear me away from other people who just might have held my attention instead of you." The anger she had felt that night surged in her, and she let it.  
  
Miguel, shocked again at someone else's perception of his behavior, thought back to that night. He vaguely remembered it. There had been so many beautiful women there. He'd dragged Kay along because Reese wouldn't go, and he knew that she'd tag along with him anywhere. but that didn't mean that he'd known about her crush. Uninvited, another memory from that night hit him. He was getting bored of the simpering going on around him, even he got tired of talking about himself, and had looked around for Kay so they could leave. He saw her embroiled in a game of baseball without him and wanted her to leave immediately with him. So he'd made up a little white lie because he'd known that she would leave. he'd known that she would go with him anywhere.. known that she."I knew," he said under his breath.  
  
Kay heard him. Tears started falling as she remembered the old hurt. "You knew," she agreed softly. "You knew and you used it throughout our friendship to get me to do what you wanted, no matter how much false hope you were giving me about your intentions." She stated, her voice stronger now. "And then, when I finally met another friend, Nicholas, you blew up at him in some sort of pseudo jealous rage.."  
  
Miguel grimaced. "Can we not talk about Nicholas, please?" he pleaded. "And besides," he muttered, "itwasn'tpseudoanything."  
  
"Miguel, stop mumbling, what did you say?"  
  
"I said," he replied, resigned to the fact that it was now his turn to come clean, "it wasn't pseudo anything. I was jealous, I just didn't know it at the time."  
  
"Miguel, don't.." Kay began.  
  
"Kay, I'm telling you the truth about this, I was jealous, I didn't like hearing your voice sound sleepy in the background early in the morning and some other guy answering your cell phone. I didn't like thinking you'd replaced me so easily."  
  
Kay softened her voice again. "Miguel, no one will ever replace the friendship we have."  
  
"That's good to know, but it's not what I was talking about. I didn't like thinking that you'd found someone else to have feelings for.. because" he faltered, looked down, and then looked up directly at her. Seeing the drying tears on her cheeks, he reached over and slowly wiped them completely away. "Because.." She leaned into his caress and he slid closer on the bed.  
  
"DAMMIT, tell her already so I can get back to the couch!" Reese yelled through the door.  
  
Kay jumped and cracked her knee against Miguel's. "Ow, shit, Reese, what's the matter with you?!" she yelled. "Can't you see I'm witnessing Miguel "I got game" Lo-Fitz stumble over his words.?" She turned back to Miguel, grinning.  
  
Miguel grinned back. "You know I got game," he winked at her.  
  
"If you've got it, then why don't you kick a little my way," she flirted back.  
  
Miguel turned serious all of a sudden, "I think we've had enough games, Kay. Let's just skip it this time."  
  
"I'm all about skipping game," she replied. Unable to wait any longer, she pulled Miguel into their first kiss, trying to convey all of what she'd felt for him those past years at once, and mentally preparing herself to explain the blue she was sure that they would feel.  
  
And the explanations were never needed, because she never felt the tell- tale blue that was supposed to indicate love. All night, as they both shared with each other physically what had been building emotionally for over a year now, she waited for the blue that never came. 


	16. Revelations 1

A/N: Thanks to the folks who have picked up this story again after my long hiatus!  
  
Chapter 16  
  
"What's wrong, Kay?" The morning after brought a quiet between the two that they'd never shared before. Miguel sensed that something was bothering Kay, and had been too afraid to ask about it for the better part of an hour, but could no longer hold back his curiosity and concern.  
  
"Hmm?" she asked back vaguely.  
  
Miguel gently rolled her over from their spooned position on his bed so that she faced him. "Kay, something is wrong. Tell me."  
  
Kay looked into Miguel's eyes and smiled. The automatic grin he sent her in return allowed her to push her concerns about not seeing or feeling the telltale blue haze to the back of her mind. "Nothing's wrong, Miguel," she replied. And they both almost believed her.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
"Okay, give," Simone demanded. They were at Haven, enjoying the first chica's night after Kay and Miguel's date to the movies. "You said you wouldn't tell us anything until tonight, and now it's tonight, so give, and no more stalling."  
  
Kay blushed and grinned broadly.  
  
"SEE?!?! Charity, did you see that?!" Simone shrieked. "I told you something was up with her!!!"  
  
"I see, Simone," Charity said with a smile, quite a bit more reserved than her exuberant friend. "She's definitely hiding something. Spill it, Kay."  
  
"Okay, I will, but first I have a question for you, Charity," Kay said.  
  
Outside, Charity gave a small nod of encouragement to Kay, indicating she should go ahead with her question. Inside, she was pretty shaken, although she couldn't say why. She'd been dreading this night all week, which was odd, since she loved chica's night just as much as her two friends. But something about having to hear the details of what was obviously a wonderful time shared between Kay and Miguel made her supremely uncomfortable.  
  
"Are you sure that we feel blue with the one we've in love with? Like, we don't feel it with anyone else?" Kay couldn't bring herself to admit just yet that she hadn't felt it with Miguel, so she asked in a roundabout way.  
  
Charity swallowed the lump that had been growing in her throat. So, Miguel and Kay are in love. Charity knew she should be excited for her friend, but she felt devastated. She now acknowledged that she'd hoped it was a passing thing that Kay would outgrow, leaving Miguel.. she wouldn't finish the thought, it was too much like betraying her cousin. Instead, she responded to Kay's question.  
  
"Yes, Kay. It happens between two people who are in love, and only between two people who are in love." Charity was a bit taken aback by the flash of dejection she saw cross Kay's face. But it was gone quickly, so that she questioned whether she'd really seen it there in the first place.  
  
"Okay, thanks," Kay said lightly.  
  
"KAAAAYYYYEEEEE!" Simone shouted. "I can't take it anymore, enough stalling, tell us everything that happened, and tell us now!!!"  
  
Kay grinned at Simone's impatience, and finally granted her request. She left out the part about not seeing blue, though. That was for her to figure out on her own. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------- Kay and Miguel begin dating on a regular basis, appearing to be the perfect couple. Soon, she realizes that, once the initial novelty of having a friend with ALL the benefits wears off, something is missing, and she can't help but brood about the continuing lack of blue in their lives..  
  
Kay, in one of the many morose moods she'd had since she and Miguel started dating and she'd felt no blue, didn't notice as someone came up behind her as she was walking along the street in front of campus.  
  
"If it isn't Kay Bennett, AWARE queen extraordinaire," said a voice dripping with bitterness said from behind her back.  
  
"Why Nicholas," said Kay, immediately recognizing his voice as she turned around to face him, "How nice of you to recognize when you're in the presence of true awareness. How are you these days?" She asks, dropping the nasty tone and opting for a neutral one. There was no sense in getting riled up about the past, she thought.  
  
"I'm fine and dandy, and yourself?" he asked, then continued without giving her a chance to answer, "I hear you've finally gotten what you've always wanted."  
  
"Oh really?" she equivocated, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "And what might my wildest dream be, according to our resident Kay expert?"  
  
"Miguel. I hear you're with Miguel now," he said, unable to keep the anger he felt out of his voice. "Moved on rather quickly from your supposed love of me, didn't you?"  
  
Kay stepped back from him as quickly as if she had been shoved by a blow from his fist. Hurt, pure and unadulterated, was all over her face. But, she recovered fairly quickly, and this time, made no attempts at neutrality. "Well, it only took me 24 hours to like you, and given your poisonous personality, it was only a matter of hours before I was over it." She instantly regretted her words as she saw a pain mirroring her own reflected briefly on his face.  
  
Nicholas too unleashed all of his anger at her. "That's hilarious. You're calling me poisonous? I'm not the one who thinks near electrocution is a sign of real love. How does your new boyfriend find your floating and electric antics?"  
  
Kay, unthinkingly responded, "See, you have it wrong, Nicholas dear, you are definitely the poisonous one here, since I don't feel anything of the sort with Miguel. No electricity, no floating, nothing, just plain old.." Kay gasped as she realized what she had revealed.  
  
Nicholas paled, remembering..  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------- Mom always told us that we'd know our true love by feeling blue  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------  
  
As the significance of Kay's revelation that she didn't see or feel blue while with Miguel sank in, Kay turned bright red and decided to get out of Nicholas's way as soon as possible.  
  
"If you are finished insulting me, Nicholas, I have to go now." Kay's voice was still a bit shaky.  
  
Nicholas was too shocked about her revelation to respond immediately. If Kay only felt the blue with him and not Miguel..  
  
"Nicholas! Nicholas pay attention; I'm leaving." Kay's voice was a lot firmer now as she grew impatient with his unresponsiveness.  
  
"What? Oh, sorry," Nicholas paused to bring himself out of his reverie. "Okay, bye, Kay," he tossed out absently. He needed to digest this latest development a bit more.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------  
  
As Kay hurried away from Nicholas, she failed to hear Simone shouting after her. Finally, she felt someone poke her from behind.  
  
"Hey!" she yelled. "What the hell's the matter with you, Simone?!" she shouted as she turned around. "You scared me!"  
  
Simone grinned. The grin almost outshone the brilliance of her goldenrod yellow camisole and matching Capri pants. With the weather warming up, Simone was expanding her color palette even more. "Kay, I've been yelling after you for a block; I had to run to catch up with you. Can't I even get a proper greeting?"  
  
Kay had the decency to look sheepish. "Ooops. Hello, Simone," she began. "Isn't it lovely outside? How are you on this fine."  
  
"Enough already," a giggling Simone told Kay. "Let's talk about what you just told good ol' Nicky back there."  
  
At least her bluntness kept things interesting, Kay thought. "I assume you heard about my little. um. problem with Miguel."  
  
"Yes, I did and I was just thinking to myself, 'Self,....' that's what I call myself, you know, 'self'...." Simone paused to give Kay time to absorb the fact that this was going to be a long, long conversation. Kay dutifully sat down on a bench they were passing and Simone plunked her stuff down beside Kay, needing to stand so that Kay could get the full effect of this performance. "So I'm saying to myself," she continues, "'Self, I know you overheard Kay tell Nicholas that she didn't feel blue with Miguel, but since that could only mean that Kay and Miguel aren't meant to be, you should just stop being foolish, self, and realize that Kay was only lying to Nicholas to get him off her back because, self, it would be absolutely RIDICULOUS to think that Kay has been lying to you, self, and Charity all this time. Just Ridiculous," Simone finished pointedly glaring at Kay after putting her hands on her hips.  
  
Kay immediately turned red and mumbled, "Don't be so hard on your'self'."  
  
Simone, not amused by Kay's intended pun, said, "You lied to us, didn't you? Kay, of all the..."  
  
"Now wait a minute Simone," Kay interrupted. "I didn't lie to you guys... not exactly," she quickly amended at Simone's look. "You guys were so happy for me, I just didn't want you to be disappointed when you realized that it was just a temporary thing between Miguel and I," she finished lamely.  
  
"Kay, that is the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. And the only thing that's keeping me from really fussing at you is that you seem to believe it." Simone's face took on a calmer, more open look and Kay visibly relaxed. "Kay, Charity and I just want you to be happy, and if being with Miguel isn't going to keep you happy, then that's not what we want for you."  
  
"Why wouldn't being with Miguel keep Kay happy?" Charity asked, walking up. "I thought they were finally together forever and ever," she continued, unable to keep a slight bitter note out of her voice.  
  
Simone looked at her sharply, catching the tinge of sourness in Charity's voice. Kay, for her part, was oblivious to the harsh tone, mired as she was in her own gloominess about the situation. "I don't feel the blue thing with Miguel, Charity, and I never have."  
  
Charity was stunned enough to join Kay on the bench with a flop. "But Kay, I remember, that chica's night, you asked me about the blue to make sure that Miguel was your true love."  
  
Kay realized it was time to fess up completely. "No, Charity, I asked you that question because the flip side of your answer that the blue would only happen with my true love is that if it didn't happen, the person wasn't my true love afterall. Miguel..." she paused, before she said it for the first time, and then continued, her voice constricted by the tears in her throat. "Miguel, isn't my true love. Nicholas is." 


	17. Revelations 2

Chapter 17  
  
"Kay, sweetie, I am so sorry," Charity said, meaning it, despite the traitorous burst of hope she felt at Kay's revelation.  
  
"Yeah, me too, but hey, Nicholas has been moping around like someone killed his pet dog recently, you need to work things out with both of these men, Kay."  
  
Kay grinned a little through her tears. "Thanks for the analogy, Simone... I think." She collected her thoughts before speaking again. "Ten months ago, I would have thought myself to be terminally single, and now, I've got two guys to deal with. You guys, what am I supposed to say to Miguel? I mean, Nicholas freaked out when I told him, I don't think Miguel would take it well if I told him that I was breaking up with him because we don't jump into each other's mind when we kiss."  
  
Charity felt a surge of panic about Miguel ever finding out about blue. "No, Kay, don't tell him!"  
  
This time both Kay and Simone looked at her strangely. I know something's up with you chick and I think I know what it is too, Simone thought to herself.  
  
Charity equivocated before Kay could ask anything about her outburst. "I mean... umm... you're right, Nicholas freaked, it wouldn't be fair to Miguel to put all that on him. I'm sure even without the blue to tell him, he knows something isn't right."  
  
Kay agreed. "Okay guys, I guess I'll talk to Miguel later and see what happens."  
  
"And you'll tell us about it tomorrow night over milkshakes, RIGHT?" Simone hinted.  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly, "Of course, I'd never keep anything from you guys... *cough* cough*... that is, I'll never keep anything from you Again, I mean."  
  
Simone kicked at her, tipping Kay enough that she slipped off the back of the bench. Charity, glad that the tension was gone, giggled and went over after her to grab Kay's hand to fix the sprain she knew was going to result.  
  
Simone, for her part, looked mortified. "Kay? Kay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to fall," then, getting self-righteous, "God, you're the biggest klutz on earth, why the hell can't you even sit properly without hurting yourself?"  
  
From somewhere under the bench, Kay hollered, "YOU KICKED ME, TWIT!"  
  
Charity snorted as the two began to bicker, continuing the argument well after The familial blue had healed Kay and well past reason. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------  
  
[Meanwhile....]  
  
Miguel slammed his books on the floor just inside his apartment, causing Reese to wake up mid-snore from his usual deep slouch on their sofa.  
  
"What the hell?" Reese shouted, disoriented.  
  
"Oh, good, you're awake," responded Miguel, ignoring Reese's grimaces. "Can I talk to your for a minute?"  
  
Reese looked at him closely, trying to pick out any guilt that might be on Miguel's expression. He didn't know what had shocked him awake, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with the messy pile of books beside his best friend. "I'm awake, NOW," he answered. "I guess you can talk at me, I can't promise I'll give a response," he continued, grumbling. "But you can't sit on this couch, you better get a chair from the kitchen," he added quickly.  
  
Miguel smirked at got his own chair. "So umm... don't get mad before you hear me out, Reese..." Miguel began after settling himself for their discussion.  
  
"Riiight, so what you really mean is that I'm gonna get mad, and that's just your way of preparing me for my own anger," Reese guessed.  
  
"Basically," Miguel answered. "So yeah, okay... umm... remember when you told me not to get involved with Kay if I wasn't ready to return her feelings?"  
  
Reese felt a small migraine developing as he hazarded a guess about where this conversation was going. "Yes, Miguel, I do. And I also remember you ASSURING ME that you did return her feelings."  
  
"Wait a sec, Reese, I didn't assure you, I hinted that I might..." Miguel began.  
  
"Whatever you want to tell yourself, dude," Reese muttered. "But, please, continue, I have a feeling you're just getting warmed up with this here topic."  
  
"Umm, yeah, so I did, I really did. Or, I mean, I thought I did. And I really really do care about Kay and our friendship has progressed to a whole new level of understanding now... but after that initial sort of burst of pent up attraction, I haven't really been into her that way..." Miguel saw Reese about to interrupt. "Now, don't get me wrong, I see now that Kay is definitely a desirable woman, and I have no problems fooling around with her, it's enjoyable, but it's like the whole "in love" part of our relationship will never catch up to the depth of our friendship." Miguel stopped as he ran out of steam.  
  
Reese considered his words, and surprised them both with his response. "Way to go, Miguel," he began.  
  
Miguel was angry. "Look, Reese, I don't need any of your sarcasm now, just some friendly advice if you please."  
  
Reese grinned, "Man, I'm being totally serious, no facetiousness intended. I really think it's great that you're finally in touch with the reality of your relationship with Kay. I mean, I never would have asked you to stay with her if you didn't feel it was right, I just want you to be honest with yourself and with her about things."  
  
Miguel smiled tentatively. "You're serious? You think this is a good thing?"  
  
"Well," Reese answered, "I mean, this means she's not gonna be inclined to introduce me to that hot sister of hers I see in the pics she's shown us of her family, but yeah, I'd say it's good for you two."  
  
Miguel grinned. "Thanks, Reese, I guess I'll talk to Kay about this. And, maybe I'll even let you come home with me this summer back to Harmony and you can meet Jess without Kay's involvement." Miguel headed upstairs to make the call, more apprehensive as he thought about actually saying the words to Kay.  
  
Reese settled into his deep slouch again, muttering to himself, "Jess, huh? Cute name... Cute girl..." 


	18. Revelations 3

Chapter 18  
  
"Hey Kay, how's it goin'? Miguel asked her over the phone.  
  
"Oh, hey Miguel, I was just gonna call you. What's up, babe?" she replied.  
  
"Umm... not too much. Do you wanna come over and chill for awhile?"  
  
"Uhh, yeah, sure," Kay responded. "Is anything wrong, you sound kinda funny."  
  
"No, nothing's wrong, I just want to see you for awhile, you know, talk and stuff."  
  
Kay shut her eyes and pictured him as she answered, "Yeah, I want to talk to you too." She squeezed her eyes shut more tightly than before and continued. "I'm just gonna get dressed and I'll be over in a sec."  
  
"Okay, see you soon." Miguel hung up before she could hear the emotion in his voice. He hastily threw his clothes off his desk chair and into his closet. He could see an awkward repeat of Kay's first time in his room, and wanted her to have options about how close she wanted to be to him after everything was out in the open.  
  
Kay rushed down the stairs of her apartment in sweat shorts, a baby tee, and some old running shoes. She ran the entire way, carrying the mini canister of mace Miguel insisted she have when walking alone at night.  
  
Miguel opened the door after her first knock and, rethinking having the discussion in his room, where Kay might feel trapped, asked if she'd like to take a walk. She agreed and they headed back towards campus, gravitating toward the benches in front of the university library. They walked in silence, enjoying each other's company, but both recognizing a tinge of finality to the short journey.  
  
"Miguel," Kay began.  
  
"Wait, Kay, can I say something before you do?" They were both surprised at his initiative, Kay always began such discussions.  
  
"Of course, Miguel, please, I want to know what you're thinking right now."  
  
"Kay... Kay, I love you," he began, and then continued quickly as he felt the tears come to his eyes. "I'll always love you, Kay... but I just... Kay, honey, I love you, but only as a friend... Let me finish, please," Miguel said, seeing her about to interject, "Kay, please don't be hurt, this has been the best relationship I've ever been in and I really hope that the friendship we've developed along the way won't be affected by this... Kay, please, I really need to say this," Miguel pleaded as he saw her about to interrupt again. "I just want to be fair to you, and not lead you on, and to let you know where I stand on things and how I'm feeling... Kay, please, don't cry," Miguel felt tears slide down his face as well as he watched them roll down Kay's cheeks.  
  
"Miguel, I..." Kay took a deep breath to hold back the heaving sobs she felt coming. "Miguel, I'm crying because I didn't think this would hurt so much..."  
  
"Kay, I'm so sorry..."Miguel began.  
  
"No, now let me finish," Kay said. "Miguel, I wanted to break up with you too. I know things aren't right in this relationship, and I really do think we make better friends, I just didn't think it would hurt so much hearing it said aloud... by you." Her tears came freely now, and he gathered her in his arms.  
  
Miguel tilts her head up and leans in for one last kiss. It ends quickly, and Kay looks down, unable to interpret her own feelings at the moment, and certainly not ready to deal with the ones racing across Miguel's features.  
  
"You bastard," they hear coming venomously from behind them.  
  
For a millisecond, Kay thought it was Nicholas intruding once again, but then quickly realized that the low voice was a female voice growling from behind Miguel.  
  
"How could you make her cry like that," an extremely angry Charity shouted. As Kay looked up, she was stunned at the ferocity with which Charity shot mental daggers at Miguel. "Don't you think she's cried enough over you? You had to get one last one in, didn't you?" Charity moved closer to Miguel.  
  
Seeing Charity's intention, Kay moved to block her, but too late. As she grabbed Miguel's hand to pull him out of the way, Charity's palm whipped across his face as she smacked his soundly.  
  
Blue light crackled through the air and all three were thrown onto the ground.  
  
Instantly, Kay understood what had happened. Miguel was completely confused, and Charity thought she understood, but she was wrong. 


	19. Revelations 4

Chapter 19  
  
Blue light crackled through the air and all three were thrown onto the ground.  
  
Instantly, Kay understood what had happened. Miguel was completely confused, and Charity thought she understood, but she was wrong.  
  
Kay jumped up, seeing that if she didn't take charge and explain things, this could erupt into a huge mess. "Wow, that was some lightening, huh?" She began weakly. "You know, they said we'd get thunder and such today."  
  
"Kay, what are you talking about," Miguel said incredulously. "Charity just smacked the hell out of me, and with you pulling on me from the other direction, it made the impact that much worse." He rubbed his sore jaw. "It was painful, but it was no lightening."  
  
Charity and Kay exchanged looks and silently agreed to let Miguel delude himself. "Right, you're right," Kay responded. "Charity," she said, whipping around, "Why the hell did you hit Miguel like that?"  
  
Confused, Charity answered, "Because he was making you cry!"  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly, "Um..., Charity, we were both crying." Now, the rest of Miguel's face turned red to catch up with the red hand print Charity had left. "We just broke up and we were a little emotional, but he wasn't hurting me intentionally."  
  
Now it was Charity's turn to look sheepish. She turned to Miguel. "I am so sorry..."she reached out to touch his cheek where her hand print glowed.  
  
"NO!" Kay and Miguel shouted together for two very different reasons. Instantly, Charity dropped her hand. "Right, hehe, umm, I'm just gonna go grab that sandwich from the all night deli that I was on my way to get and leave you two to it, then." She turned to Kay and thought hard at her, "Call me, we have to discuss!" Kay nodded almost imperceptibly in response.  
  
Kay and Miguel turned to each other. "Okay, um, how about we forget the last part of that and focus on the part where we both want to remain friends forever and ever," Kay suggested.  
  
Miguel grabbed her in one of his wonderful hugs and whispered in her ear, "I'd love to."  
  
As they walked in opposite directions, a figure moved out of the shadows towards Kay. She continued walking at the same pace, although she felt his presence behind her. She slowly reached for her canister of mace in her side pocket.  
  
"No need for that, Kay, it's only me, and I don't plan on touching you today, especially not after that scene I just witnessed."  
  
"Nicholas," Kay breathed wearily, "Of course it's you, you always seem to be lurking around when important conversations are happening or about to be happening."  
  
Nicholas blushed and was thankful that they'd stepped into the shadows of a building so that Kay couldn't see. "Well, I find it interesting to observe these things, it helps me understand the depth of your manipulative powers."  
  
Kay was completely confused and too weary to protest. "Look, Nicholas, why don't you tell me what you think you saw and then give me half a chance to respond before you interrupt and make fun of me again so I can get to sleep as soon as possible."  
  
"Fine," Nicholas was stunned into submission. "I saw the blue thing that you claim doesn't exist between you and Miguel, but that clearly does knock you, Miguel, and that woman out."  
  
Kay smirked in the dark. "Oh, is that what you saw? While you were snooping on me, did you happen to overhear anything?"  
  
"Umm, no, I wasn't close enough, but I think what I saw sums things up pretty well."  
  
"Nicholas, after the way you've treated me, I don't owe you any explanations..." Kay quickly flashed back to Simone's comments about Nicholas's current welfare.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Nicholas has been moping around like someone killed his pet dog recently... ---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kay instantly softened and explained what had happened to Nicholas. "That blue that you saw, had nothing to do with me, it was between my EX," she emphasized, "and 'that woman' as you called her, who happens to be my cousin."  
  
Nicholas snorted. "Wait, so you're trying to tell me that you didn't feel the blue between you and Miguel, but Miguel and your cousin do and you got caught in the crossfire just now? So your cousin and your SUPREMELY recent EX are each other's true love? I'm supposed to believe that load of..."  
  
Kay pulled him close, careful to touch only the front of his shirt, "You listen to me, Nicholas Crane, I don't care what load of anything you believe, it's the truth. You're the one who was spying on a private conversation, I've explained to you all I'm going to tonight."  
  
She moved as if to pull away, but Nicholas grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. As his hands moved to caress her cheek, she instantly felt the blue connection between them as was thrown into his embrace.  
  
You're going to kiss me aren't you, she thought.  
  
"I most definitely am," he responded aloud.  
  
As they kissed, the connection was complete and the blue made them one again. To Kay, it felt like coming home after a long time in a strange country.  
  
Nicholas, why are we so mean to each other? she asked through their connection.  
  
I... Kay, I'm so sorry, he began to respond the same manner.  
  
"I'm so sorry," he whispered aloud against her lips as he ended the kiss.  
  
She pulled back, confused. "Nicholas, I didn't...." she began.  
  
"I know, Kay," he interrupted. "I know you didn't mean for that to happen. But I'm still not ready for this," he winced as tears flooded her eyes. "I'm going to go now," he finished lamely.  
  
Kay's expression turned lethal. "You coward," she spat at him. "You big coward, don't you apologize to me. I was fine without you these past few months and I'll be fine without you now. Just stop following me and stop approaching me with snide comments. I don't want to see you again, you hear me?" she yelled. "I don't want to see you again!"  
  
She fled to her dorm room, tears pouring. She had never looked forward to the next day's chica's night as she did at that moment.  
  
Nicholas, regretting the entire exchange promised to her silently to obey her last request. 


	20. An Early Chica's Night

Chapter 20  
  
The next day, before chica's night, Kay called Charity to discuss.  
  
"Hello," came Charity's subdued voice over the phone.  
  
"Hey, Charity, got a minute?" Kay asked, hearing her somber tone and responded by keeping her own voice neutral. She wasn't sure what Charity was thinking and didn't want to freak her out.  
  
"Yeah, of course, Kay, what's up?" Charity forced a bit of normalcy into her voice. There was no reason for Kay to be as upset as she was about recent events.  
  
"Well, I just wanted to talk about what happened last night, you know, with the whole blue thing..." Kay let her voice trail off, waiting to hear Charity's reaction.  
  
"Okay... only, it's not really fair to leave Simone out of all this, so why don't you meet me at her place in an hour? We can start chica's night early today."  
  
Kay knew as well as Charity did that this was a two-fold tactic. Not only was Charity delaying the discussion, she was also using Simone as a buffer. But Kay would do anything to help her cousin through what she knew was going to be a trying experience with her true love. "Okay, Charity, that sounds great. Will you call Simone to let her know?"  
  
"Yeah, sure, sounds good. I'll see you then." Charity quickly broke the connection. She needed as much time to mentally prepare herself for this next chica's night as possible.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------  
  
The three women were settled comfortably around Simone's living room, munching on a fabulous salmon and pasta dinner that Simone had prepared. As Kay looked around, she noticed new candles with slightly melted tips placed strategically around the flat.  
  
"Simone....uh, did we interrupt something?" Kay asked, hating to think that she and Charity were letting their personal life get in the way of Simone's.  
  
"Oh please, just a little self pampering," Simone said lightly. "So what's up? I mean, I know you women can't live without me, but I thought the regular chica's night time was enough....." Simone's voice was drowned out by the massive pillows Kay and Charity had chucked her way. Once the silliness had died down, though, a serious mood feel on the room. "Okay, give, Kay, I take it you talked to Miguel," Simone began.  
  
"Yeah," Kay admitted. "And it wasn't so bad really; he was sort of feeling the same way. I think we'll be alright," Kay ended with a shrug.  
  
Simone was confused. "Then why are we here? Seems like it went as well as can be expected."  
  
"Well," Kay began slowly, "It wasn't the breakup we need to discuss so much as it was what superwoman over there caused afterwards."  
  
"I was only trying to be supportive," Charity muttered.  
  
Simone grinned, eager to hear what new drama her two friends had gotten into now. Simone was pretty flamboyant on the outside, but she preferred a certain normalcy in her own life. And this new thing with.... well, that was another subject for a day when her two best friends weren't spazzing out. Besides, keeping it to herself WAS keeping it normal. She had no doubt that they'd find a way to make a big hooha out of it.  
  
"Okay, spill it Charity, what did you do?" Simone egged her on.  
  
"Yeah, Charity, do tell," Kay chimed in.  
  
"Look, I was trying to help. I just don't like seeing my family upset. And I thought that HE was upsetting her...."  
  
"Uh-oh. Charity, ummm, is Miguel in one piece at least?" Simone asked playfully.  
  
Kay snorted. "Barely," she muttered enough for Simone to hear her and enough to get a sharp look from Charity.  
  
"So I kinda... umm... I uh.... I slapped him, okay?"  
  
Kay couldn't contain herself any longer. "You WHAT?!" she hooted, bouncing up to demonstrate. "So she comes barreling up, growling in this deep, disembodied man voice, callin' him a bastard and such and winds up and lets him have it. Simone, I swear, he's gonna have a hand print across his face for another week." Kay sobered slightly and continued. "And to think, his one true love gave it to him."  
  
"WHAT?!" screamed Charity and Simone.  
  
"Oh come off it Charity, that's why you've been actin' funny since last night, and you know it," Kay said. She turned to Simone to explain. "You wouldn't have believed it, I'm just glad it's finals time and most people were inside the library and not standing outside of it near us. I was grabbing Miguel to pull him away from Mighty Mouse over there as her hand hit his cheek and we were all thrown backwards while, you'll never believe this, I'm sure," Kay threw in facetiously, "Blue light flashed all around us. Miguel thought it was lightening," she paused for effect, "But it was really just a sign of true love smacking him and Wonder Woman in the face, literally."  
  
"Kay!" Charity was shocked. "That's not what happened at all!" Charity was bright red from having to relive the moment when she unfairly wacked her cousin's boyfriend and Kay's implication was making the blush deepen quickly. "I thought we were here to discuss someone else discovering our familial blue thing, but I guess I was wrong," Charity said, hurt by Kay's teasing. "You know, it's a serious thing when outsiders find out about this," she continued gathering her purse and jacket. "I would think that you would take it more seriously, too, Kay, since it has caused you so much trouble with Nicholas." Charity regretted the barb the minute it was out of her mouth, and sank back down in the sofa, letting her things drop softly beside it onto the floor.  
  
All of the mirth fled Kay's face as she quickly sobered. She wasn't really hurt by Charity's careless words. She was, however, shocked to hear such hurtful things coming out of her sweet as sugar cousin's mouth. She leaned back into the plush chair she was sitting in with a thoughtful look on her face. Something about Charity's reaction seemed familiar to her.  
  
Simone had decided that enough was enough. She wasn't going to sit back and let the two cousins pick on each other all night, especially when things were taking a hurtful turn for the worse. "Oh stuff it, both of you. Kay, don't pick on Charity, she's right about one thing," Kay looked at Simone shocked. "Don't look at me in that tone of voice, she IS partially right. With all that nonsense with Nicky dear, you should know how difficult it is to realize that someone you barely know is your true love and cut Charity a little slack."  
  
Charity's jaw dropped. "Simone!" she practically howled. "Miguel is NOT my true love. The blue light thing happened because of Kay and I he was just a... uh... a conduit, yeah... he was just a conduit."  
  
Kay and Simone shared a smirk. "Riiiiiiight," Simone reached over to pat Charity's hand consolingly. "A uh... conduit. Now, tell me, Charity, have you ever experienced this err... 'conduit phenomenon' before?"  
  
Charity's red complexion returned. "Well, no, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen last night."  
  
"Charity, I don't understand why you're in such denial about this. I mean, you were there, Miguel and I aren't together anymore and it ended on fairly amicable terms. Do you not like him or something?"  
  
Charity paused a moment to interpret her own fears, now that someone had pointed them out to her. "I don't know, I mean, Kay, you guys broke up and all, but that's just tacky... and besides, I don't even know Miguel."  
  
"Well, that's easy enough to fix..." Kay began and then had a slow-coming second thought. "Oh wait, he's prolly not inclined to see you at the moment..." at Simone's Look, she added quickly, "But I mean, that's gonna blow over soon, it has to, right? You two are meant for each other..." she finished weakly.  
  
Charity knew it was more than what she was saying keeping her from accepting this new thing with Miguel. It was the secret that she'd been keeping from herself for a couple of weeks now. She really did like Miguel, she was just scared out of her mind about how he would react to learning about the blue light and all that came with it. The best way to avoid the problem that Kay was having with Nicholas was to avoid Miguel and the situation entirely.  
  
Simone sensed Charity's reticence was genuine and not some temporary fear, so she forced a change in subject. "Okay, so now that I have an idea of what has happened, can we go downstairs and get milkshakes or what?" Both Kay and Charity were ready to change the subject, so they followed Simone's lead down the apartment stairs to Haven. 


	21. Summer Plans, Summer Plots

Chapter 21  
  
"Hey, Kay, what's goin' on?" some guy she thought might be called Brad asked, as he stood too close for her comfort.  
  
"Nothing much at all," she said, firmly planting her hands on his chest and pushing. Once word of her break-up with Miguel had spread, guys were comin' out of nowhere to flirt with her. And now that she had finally made it through her sophomore year in college, Kay wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone, especially not the semi-drunk loser that attempted to dance with her now.  
  
"Hey uhh... Brad?" she looked at him questioningly.  
  
A little of his bravado fell as he responded, "Um, it's Bruce."  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly, "Right, Bruce, sorry. It's the end of the year and I'd love to get to know you better, but I'm going home this summer and don't want to start anything new, ya know?"  
  
Bruce, who knew a dismissal when he heard it, decided to be graceful about it. "Yeah, sure, I gotcha," he responded vaguely and wandered off, moving on to his next potential companion for the evening.  
  
Kay caught Simone's eye across the room and grinned. She made her way over to stand next to her friend. "Hey, you. How come you're not out there shakin' what your mama gave you like you normally do?" Kay asked. She suspected that Simone was seeing someone and purposefully not letting her friends in on the secret, but she couldn't figure out why.  
  
"Oh, I'd be out there if this song were, ya know, a good song," Simone replied back.  
  
"Hey guys, what's up?" said Charity as she joined them. "Kinda lame pickin's tonight, huh?" Ever since the incident with Miguel, Charity had hit the dating scene full force, never taking anyone seriously, but definitely making the rounds. With her flaxen blond hair and bright blue eyes, Charity had no problems keeping her weekends full, especially since Kay's dessert habits had worn off on her and she'd put on a little weight, rounding out her once emaciated figure.  
  
"Yeah, what do you guys say? It's our last night on campus, want to spend it somewhere with people we actually want to see?" Kay asked.  
  
"Absolutely," Simone agreed quickly. "Let's get outa here."  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Okay, guys, let's go around and spill our summer plans," Simone said. The women had gone over to Haven and were sitting in a private space in the back. One the way over, they had called Miguel and Reese, who brought their friend Chad along. Simone, happy that almost all of her favorite people were in one place - her place--, was anxious to begin her summer plotting.  
  
"I've got this great deal to put in studio time for an album I'm working on here this summer," Chad started. "There are also rumors of a night club in the works in the area, so I'm talking to people about having a regular DJ gig there." He surreptitiously looked over at Simone.  
  
She hid her grin behind a napkin as she pretended to wipe her mouth. Only Reese caught the private exchange, and he decided to file it away for future mischievous purposes.  
  
"Chad, that's awesome," Kay said. "Well, I'm still trying to decide whether I want to stay here as a research assistant or go back to Harmony..."  
  
"Dude, Kay, what the hell? You've gotta go back to Harmony, I've gotta meet..." Reeses voice faded as he realized that everyone was looking at him with amused glances. "Um, I mean, I'm going to see this Harmony for the first time, it'll be weird with just this joker over here showing me around," he finished lamely as he gestured at Miguel.  
  
"Kay, do whatever the hell you want, Reese will be fine in Harmony. Besides, we're only going there for a couple of weeks. I've gotta get back and take those summer classes," Miguel put in.  
  
Charity perked up at this tidbit of information. "Oh, really, Miguel? You're going to be here this summer? That's cool. I'll uh.... be around too."  
  
Miguel looked over at her interested. "Really? That's awesome, it'll be great getting to know more of Kay's family."  
  
"That's not the branch of the family I'm interested in getting to know," Reese muttered.  
  
Kay wacked him softly. "Reese, Miguel will introduce you to my sister. She'll get a kick out of having a love-sick college guy following her around, I'm sure..." Kay grew thoughtful. "Come to think of it, my mom is always looking for help around the B'n'B that she runs. When you get there, you should tell her you're interested; it would give you an excuse to hang around Jessica... I mean Harmony, all summer." Kay grinned wickedly.  
  
Reese grinned back. "Unlike the rest of you chumps, I am not in denial about my emotions, I'm more than willing to admit that Jessica Bennett greatly intrigues me. Thanks for the tip, Kay."  
  
"Speaking of being in denial about emotions," Simone chimed in, "Kay, I'm surprised that you'd consider going back to Harmony considering who else might be in town."  
  
Kay looked at Simone, a little confused, "You mean he's going home? I thought he hated home?!"  
  
Miguel, uncomfortable still with the thought of his best friend and Nicholas together, especially after hearing a little bit about the way the jerk had been treating her, decided that now was the perfect time to pull Charity aside to discuss a plan that was forming in his head. "Hey Charity, can I talk to you for a sec?"  
  
Charity nearly bumped her leg on the edge of the table in surprise. She'd been avoiding making eye contact with Miguel all night. "Uhh, sure Miguel, why don't we head to the bar for refills?" The two of them got everyone's order and wandered over to the bar lining one wall of the front room.  
  
Kay was still looking at Simone, willing her to give up more information. "You think that Nicholas is going to be in Harmony this summer?"  
  
"I'm saying nothing of the sort," Simone said indignantly. "Nicholas doesn't know what his plans are yet. I'm just suggesting that you might want to work things out with him before you both end up bumping into each other all the time in that small town."  
  
"I am not going to spend all summer bumping into him having awkward moments," Kay said.  
  
"So you're gonna work things out with him?" Simone said, injecting hopefulness into her voice.  
  
"No," Kay said, sure of her plans now. "I'm going to take that research assistant position here. You wouldn't be saying that we were going to bump into each other in Harmony if he wasn't going to be there." Kay saw Miguel and Charity struggling at the bar to carry all their drinks. "I'm gonna go help the two goofballs over there with our order."  
  
As Kay walked away, Chad looked at Simone grinning widely. "You know damned well that Nicholas is staying and continuing as a TA this summer..."  
  
Reese laughed out loud at this bit of information.  
  
Simone smirked at both of the men. "She should be working things out on her own, and if she doesn't, it's my responsibility to manipulate her into doing it."  
  
"Now that's an attitude I can admire," Reese put in.  
  
Miguel, Charity, and Kay returned with the drinks. Kay was grinning broadly and Charity looked nervous.  
  
"Hey guys, guess what?" Kay started.  
  
"Hey, woman, let us tell our own news," Miguel interrupted her. "Charity and I are going to be living together this summer."  
  
"Wait, Miguel, you said we were going to split an apt. together," Chad began. Under the table, Simone pinched his leg. "Errrr, nevermind," he said. "I'm sure I can find somewhere else to crash."  
  
"Oh, no, Miguel, you didn't tell me that!" Charity began to protest.  
  
"Oh please, Chad is just trying to make me feel guilty. The thing is, I found this great apartment that I'd have to move into right away to hold, but since I'm going home for a couple of weeks, my apartment-mate would have to hold it. Chad said he'd like to stay with me, but since I'm going to be going to classes during the day and he's doing this DJ thing, our conflicting hours would make both of us miserable, which is why he KNEW I was looking for someone else."  
  
Chad jumped in, "He's right, Charity, I was just pulling his leg."  
  
Simone added, "And I know someone Chad can bunk with."  
  
Kay looked confused, "What a second Simone, I'm staying with you, right?"  
  
"Yes, of course," Simone agreed. "You don't think I'd stay with a perfect stranger, do you? I barely know this Chad character." Now, it was Chad's turn to pinch her under the table.  
  
Kay, realizing that Charity had somehow been roped into living with Miguel, began to see the beauty of the summer arrangements. "Well, that's great that you two could help each other out like that," she said to Charity and Miguel. "I know Charity was desperate about finding somewhere to crash."  
  
Charity groaned internally, knowing where Kay's head was. "It is convenient," she acknowledged. "I couldn't have stayed with Simone another summer," Charity was warming up to subtly getting back at her friends' matchmaking. "The woman is crazy, and since Kay is crazy too, I figured they'd work better together."  
  
Kay dipped her fingers in the water pitcher on the table and calmly flicked some at Charity.  
  
Simone looked over the faces of her friends as they began an extremely undignified water fight in her establishment and thought to herself that it was going to be a fabulously interesting summer. 


	22. Summer Begins

AN - I know in the beginning I said the whole AU would be explained on the way, and it will, but just to head off questions, I've completely written the Russell family out of Harmony. They exist, in as much as they are Simone's family, I suppose, but they aren't, and never were living in Harmony. For more details about why, email me and I'll get into it, but that's all you need to know for the story.  
  
Chapter 22  
  
"Welcome to Harmony, Reese," Pilar, Miguel's mother, greeted him as he and Miguel walked out of their train onto the platform. "It's great to see you again, I hope you'll make yourself at home here for the next couple of weeks." She looked over at her son, Luis, who was clapping his brother on the back, hard enough for his luggage to tumble to the dirty platform. "Luis, stop fooling around and help Reese with his umm..." Pilar looked at the massive amount of loosely packed junk Reese was struggling with and quickly ran through the English for such a large amount of stuff. Nothing came to mind. "With his things. Teresa," she called to her daughter who was standing back and enjoying the spectacle, "show Miguel his new nephew once Luis is done wacking all of the sense out of him."  
  
"Resa, I can't believe you're a mama now!" Miguel shouted at his sister, who winced as Ethan, Jr. began to screech in reaction to all the commotion. "I suppose you'll be actin' all calm instead of the wild woman I left behind."  
  
Teresa grinned and answered, "Not on your life. In fact, let me tell you about some of the going's on around sleepy old Harmony while you were gone..."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"So wait, my nephew is Kay's nephew since Ethan, your husband, is Kay's brother? So we're like siblings in law or something? And Ethan isn't a Crane, Luis married Beth, Hank married Gwen, Sheridan is dating Noah, and she thinks no one knows, but the whole town does, and all of this is in addition to the madness that is now Kay's family tree?"  
  
"Miguel, you knew about all those weddings as they happened! College isn't exactly a vacuum, you know, and we do have the internet in lil ol' Harmony," Teresa responded to his pretended confusion.  
  
Miguel laughed. "I know, Rese, I just like saying it all at once. It reminds me of that silly soap you, Jess, and Kay, used to watch all the time, what was it called?"  
  
"It still is called Days of Our Lives and it is not stupid. Well, it wasn't stupid until they took off a whole family, Kay, did you know that they totally cut off the Wesley family a few months ago?" she asked her new sister-in-law as the woman joined them at their kitchen table.  
  
"I KNOW! I can't believe it! And now they're trying to ease us Brady and Nicole as a couple. Girl, this is not All My Children, we do not need real married couples to be couples in the soap..."  
  
"I KNOW!" Teresa responded, launching into a tirade about the recent happenings on their favorite teen-age years soap opera.  
  
Miguel, not wanting to admit that he too knew enough about Days to rant on his own, decided to check on Reese. He had introduced his friend to Jess after dinner last night and when he woke up this morning, Pilar told him that Reese had gone straight over the Kay's.  
  
As he walked through his hedge, through Tabitha's yard, and looped around their backyard to the Bennett's front door, Miguel chuckled to himself. Harmony certainly wasn't the typical sleepy backwoods town. He wondered who would open the door when he knocked.  
  
"Miguel! What in the world are you doing at the front door? And ringing the bell?!" Grace Bennett greeted him. "Come on in, silly!"  
  
"Sorry to throw you off, Mrs. Bennett, but I wasn't sure with all the excitement around here recently who would be here and who I might scare by bargin' in like I normally do."  
  
"Well, if you're looking for Reese, he and Jess just left to go on a tour of the 'sites,'" she winked as she said this, "but do come in, there's someone else I'd like you to meet." she finished.  
  
As Miguel stepped into the living room, he was tempted to rub his eyes an blink several times, but he restrained from doing so. "Oh wow," he said, "I knew you were twins, but geez, Mrs. Bennett, how do you even know you're you standing there when you're also sitting on the sofa?"  
  
The woman on the sofa laughed a familiar laugh at that. "You must be Miguel," the woman said, in a voice that was Grace's, but different, too. "I'm Faith Standish, and these two..." she gestured at two men sitting on the other two chairs in the room, "are my husband David Hastings, and our son, John," she finished the introductions.  
  
"It's very nice to meet you all," Miguel said. "I guess Charity has told you that we're renting an apartment together this summer..." he began without thinking, and then winced internally as he realized that he'd just set himself up for an interrogation from Charity's father and older brother.  
  
David stood up to his full 6'2" stature. "Yes, we did hear something like that, boy," he began in a rumbling Australian accent.  
  
From the chair across from Mr. Hastings, Miguel heard what he thought was a snort from John. Mrs. Standish interrupted her husband, "Oh quit that, David, sweetie," she said as she chucked a pillow in his direction, "Let the boy alone."  
  
Miguel noticed something funny about Mrs. Standish's accent, but couldn't place it yet. "Mr. Hastings, we're renting a two bedroom apartment, I met Charity through Kay, who I grew up with, and I have nothing..." Miguel, sure this time that he'd heard a snicker from John stopped short his nervous explanations. Mrs. Standish and Faith were both grinning broadly.  
  
"Oh, Miguel, do not explain yourself to my husband, he's just teasing you. We Brits are a fair bit more liberal when it comes to letting our children go at the proper age."  
  
David, giving up the pretense of the over-protective father, interjected, "You Brits are a might bit more liberal all around, I'm still trying to get this flower child to take my last name and stop having the whole world think we're living in sin and unmarried."  
  
So that was the slight accent he noticed in Mrs. Standish, and also the last name difference both she and Charity had. He was suddenly confused again as he thought about Grace's voice. "Wait, but Mrs. Bennett, you don't have..."  
  
"I know," Grace put in, "It's actually pretty funny. When I got my memory back, I remembered that Faith and I used to spend hours laughing at the American accent while we were at college here in the US, and I always had it better than she did. One of the things that made it difficult for me to find my family was that when Sam found me, I just imitated the accent I heard and assumed it was mine, so no one knew my family was British. I always did do a great impersonation of a British accent," she switched to it now, "only, it turned out that it was my natural one."  
  
"We've been living in the US since I graduated from college, which is why my entire family has that atrocious American thing going on," Faith finished lightly.  
  
"Wow," Miguel said, thoughtfully. "Then it really is a miracle that you found each other. How did it happen? One of those services?"  
  
"Oh no," said John, speaking up for the first time, "Kay and Charity did that..." he trailed off at the sharp looks from the rest of his family.  
  
Miguel asked the question they were all dreading. "How'd the manage that if they didn't know the other existed?" Come to think of it, he thought to himself, Kay always has been a little vague about this.  
  
Grace answered quickly, "It was actually a bit parent-trap-ish and dreadfully boring," she said, maintaining her light accent, which Miguel found charming. "They met through their friend, Simone, I think her name is, and Kay found a picture of who she thought was me in Charity's room, and it, of course, turned out to be Faith. Everything kind of happened from there."  
  
"We're spending the summer here to get to know each other since our last visit was so unplanned and sudden," Faith finished.  
  
"Oh, and they do that a lot now," John added. "The whole finishing each other's thoughts thing. They think it's cute. Miguel, tell them that mother's aren't supposed to be cute."  
  
Miguel grinned. "Oh, no buddy, you'll get no help from me there. But hey, dude, you wanna come help me track down Reese and Jessica? I'm not buying this whole tour of Harmony thing for a second, it could be lots more fun, and much safer, than picking with your mother and aunt."  
  
John smiled back and popped up. "Sounds like a plan."  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
"Father, I am not here to stay, no need to worry your pretty head about that," Nicholas said as he faced Julian in his study. "You hear that, grandfather?" he said louder.  
  
"Look Fox," Julian began, "No one cares how long you stay here, just as long as you don't bother us with your simpering liberal habits."  
  
"Yes, Nicky," came Alistair's disembodied voice. "You are always welcome here; it is your home too. We just ask that you maintain some sense of decorum rather than ranting about your ideals and getting the servants riled up. Last time, we had five quit on us."  
  
Nicholas winced at the nicknames his family used. He thought instantly of Kay, who had instinctively called him by his full name, one he only preferred because no one in this house called him by it.  
  
"I am not in the mood for rabble rousing, so no need to worry your perfect silvery gray hairs about me," Nicholas shot back. "I'm just getting my things, all of them this time. You won't be hearing from me again," he finished. Ethan being illegitimate doesn't mean that he gets to have all the fun and leave these nuts behind, he thought as he turned to leave the room.  
  
"Oh, just a minute, Nicky," Alistair called. "What do you mean by that? Surely you realize that as heir, you have to reside here once you're done fooling around with that liberal arts education of yours. I will not finance your pursuits without some return indefinitely."  
  
"Oh, come now, Father," Julian said, taking pity on his son, trouble maker that he was. "Surely Fox doesn't have to be trapped here like..."  
  
"He most certainly does have to be. Since I have to travel around handling things in person, we need someone here at the mansion maintaining a base of operations, and that someone will be Nicky once he gets his graduate degree."  
  
Julian gave his son a look that said, "I tried." "Very well," Julian said aloud. "Fox, you should leave behind all non-essentials for the summer so that you can return here in the fall to begin your training."  
  
Nicholas was livid. Once again, his grandfather was casually planning his happiness away. "And what if I choose not to be heir?" he shouted back to his father and omnipresent grandfather.  
  
"Then we will revoke your trust fund..." Alistair began over the intercom.  
  
"I'm living off my grants right now, I haven't touched it for myself in years," Nicholas shot back.  
  
"Oh, but you didn't let me finish," Alistair said snidely. "We will revoke your trust fund and collect the money that you've got tied up in those investments of yours."  
  
"You can't do that! There are a lot of people who depend on those investments!" Nicholas practically screamed.  
  
"Then you better not disappoint them by shirking your familial duties," Alistair replied calmly, infuriating Nicholas more.  
  
"Father, please, there's no need to be so harsh with the boy," Julian interjected. "Fox, it would behoove you to see things your grandfather's way and perhaps attempt a small compromise. Perhaps about beginning in the fall?"  
  
Nicholas looked at his father in astonishment. As he peered closely, he noticed more gray hair and fine lines on his face than had been there last year when Nicholas made his annual visit home. Perhaps, Nicholas thought, losing Ethan had taken its toll on his father. "Very well, Father," he allowed, and then directed his voice upwards so that Alistair could hear him clearly. "Although my teaching assistant-ship is over this summer, I have not finished writing my dissertation. If I can put off returning here permanently until that is finished, I will consider having talks about the terms of my permanent employment with Crane Enterprises."  
  
"Fine," Alistair replied succinctly and disconnected audibly from the mansion speaker system.  
  
"Thank you, Father," said Nicholas.  
  
"You know, son, it isn't too late for us to find allies in all of this in each other," Julian said mysteriously.  
  
"What does that mean?" asked Nicholas, wary of any hidden games his father might be playing.  
  
"I haven't been totally ignoring your investments, Fox," Julian said dryly. "And it occurs to me that I have a hobby that might help you out in this latest venture..." 


	23. Aware of Betrayal?

Chapter 23  
  
"You have got to be joking," Simone said to Nicholas as she sat in her apartment listening to his relaying over the phone of his most recent conversation with his father and grandfather. "I can't believe that he threatened you like that!"  
  
"I know, it was pretty bad, even for grandfather," Nicholas replied. "But at least we've come to a compromise. I should be back in town this weekend; we should meet to discuss this in more detail, especially my father's weird personality change."  
  
"Oh, that'd be great!" Simone shouted, then lowered her voice as Kay, who was sitting nearby sipping coffee, looked up interested. "I'd love to get together this weekend, call my cell later tonight and we'll discuss." Simone quickly disconnected. She didn't want Kay getting all worked up about her continued communication with Nicholas.  
  
"Who was that?" Kay asked. She was determined to discover the identity of Simone's mystery man... and she was absolutely sure that there was a mystery man.  
  
"No one special," Simone replied vaguely. "Just some guy who wanted to know how to find Haven. I told him and then he said he'd be there this weekend, so I told him that's be great."  
  
"Riiiiiiight," Kay said, pretending to let it go. When Simone got up to get her own mug of coffee, she quickly wrote down the number on the caller ID and stuck it in her purse. She noted the Harmony area code with interest. This definitely bore some further research.  
  
"So what are you up to this weekend?" Kay asked her.  
  
"Ummm... nothing special... but I've got to work at Haven since my hostess left town for the summer and we haven't hired a replacement yet." she added quickly when Kay looked ready to ask her to do something. She had to meet with Nicholas, but she didn't want Kay to know that.  
  
"Oh, that's cool. AWARE is having a summer retreat, so I thought you might want to tag along and see what it's all about," Kay responded.  
  
"Kay, you weirdo, I know what it's about, you gave Charity and reports of your latest cause after every meeting. It's good stuff, and I would go, except I've been so busy with Haven lately," Simone answered, feeling guilty for slightly deceiving her friend.  
  
"Simone, are you sure it's just Haven that's been keeping you busy? There's no one new and special in your life?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.  
  
"Oh man, I'll be glad when Charity gets back from her Protestant retreat," Simone equivocated. "Then all your nosiness will be directed at her and Miguel and you'll stop imagining that something is going on with me."  
  
Kay saw that she was getting nowhere fast with her direct line of questioning and so she let Simone off the hook and decided that more subtle snooping was required. "Whatever you say, Simone," she said aloud. "At any rate, if you were seeing someone, hypothetically speaking, of course, I'll be out of your hair all weekend. We're leaving on Friday and won't be back from the boondocks until Sunday evening."  
  
"Kay, I'm telling you, I'm going to be busy downstairs at Haven all weekend, so time for the hanky-panky you seem to think I'll be getting into."  
  
"Riiiiiiiight," Kay answered, letting her response drag out to show that she wasn't buying it. "Well," she said thoughtfully, "maybe it is a bit of wishful thinking on my part... you really need to get some chica..." She ducked as a burgundy pillow came flying at her. She ran into her room as Simone chased her with a gold sham as a weapon.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Dammit, dammit, dammit," Kay muttered to herself as she walked from the corner where the big yellow bus had dropped her off back to her and Simone's place. I can't believe they double booked us, those hick something-or-others, she thought angrily to herself. It was 11pm on a Saturday night and she was fighting mad and grungy from the six hour bus ride to and from the retreat site that had forgotten AWARE's booking. "At least I can go to my Haven," she said, snickering out loud a bit about her unintended pun. "Oh hush," she said, as the homeless person she was walking by gave her a strange look. Instantly, guilt overwhelmed her and she ran into the all-night deli on the next corner, and then back to the man to give him the sandwich she had bought with her last few dollars. "I've gotta start this TA'ing soon," she said to herself as she looked morosely at her empty wallet.  
  
As she approached Haven and her apartment, she decided to go through the lounge first, to see how Simone was holding up. Summer nights were always insane. As she entered Haven, she was surprised to see a waiter filling in at the front. "Hey Shawn," she said to the brown-haired fill in host. "Where's Simone?"  
  
"She's in the back room, but she said she didn't want to be disturbed."  
  
"I'll just pop in and let her know I'm home a day early," Kay said as she wandered through the mishmash of sofas and chairs to the back room area. She saw the door was ajar and decided to peek in to make sure she wasn't interrupting anything important.  
  
"Nicholas, you're joking!!!" she saw her apartment mate and friend jump into Nicholas's lap and give him a giant hug. "I am so happy you're with me on this..." Simone continued.  
  
Kay felt sick. She stumbled backwards from the doorway and made her way up the backstairs to her apartment. After fumbling for a few minutes with the lock, she rushed straight to her room and shut the door, as if she were shutting out the sight of her friend on Nicholas's lap. She attempted to banish the memory through sheer force of will and could not. She attempted to scream out her frustration and could not. She even thought of calling Charity and trying to make their blue connection work over the phone lines, but realized that it probably wouldn't heal emotional hurt as readily as it knit bones. Finally, mercifully, sleep over came her and she dozed fitfully, fully dressed on top of her covers.  
  
When her aching joints forced her out of her light dream state a few hours later, Kay began to reason out what she had seen. After all, Nicholas and Simone have been friends for a few years, she hadn't seen them kissing or anything. And how many times had she jumped on Miguel when she was excited about something? I just have to ask Simone to explain what I saw, Kay reasoned. I over-reacted, it was innocent. She quickly glanced over at the clock and saw that it was just past two in the morning. The crowd at Haven would be thinning out and Simone should be leaving things to the early shift hostess now, that is if she was done with her "business" in the backroom. Kay threw on a t-shirt and shorts and ran down the backstairs in her slippers. She walked into Haven and saw Shawn cleaning up, while Amber, the early shift hostess, greeted bleary eyed customers seeking coffee after a long night of drinking.  
  
"Hey, Shawn, what's up?" she asked, not wanting to be rude by asking about Simone immediately a second time.  
  
"Oh, hey, Kay," he said, looking up from sweeping. "Just got the last drunk guy out and in a cab. God bless last calls. I can't wait to head home."  
  
"Oh man, I feel you," Kay said, attempting to push her worries out of her mind so she could empathize with Shawn.  
  
Shawn looked her up and down and replied, "Right, Kay. Clearly you have no idea what I'm feeling. Are those bedroom slippers you have on?" To let her know he was joking, he flicked her lightly with a bit of dishwater from the sink behind the bar.  
  
"Oh, that's gross, Shawn," Kay yelped. "But you're right, I did just roll out of bed. Have you seen my roommie anywhere?"  
  
"Oh, I see how it is," he responded. "You just come to me to make small talk and then to track down folks." His face turned serious. "Actually, Kay, I'm kinda worried about Simone. She seems to be lowering her work time here, we rarely see her, but when she is here, she's still dog tired and she always looks wired about something."  
  
Kay too was growing concerned. "Well, that's kinda why I want to see her now," she told Shawn. "She's been acting really mysterious. I thought she just had a new man she was trying to hide, but if what you're saying is true, there may be more to it than that."  
  
"Well, she left a little while ago with Nicholas, but when you do have a talk with her, let me know if there's anything I can help with," Shawn said as he moved away to finish cleaning up the place.  
  
Kay was extremely conflicted. On one hand, she felt guilty that Shawn, who was not Simone's best friend, seemed a ton more worried about her friend than she did, and on the other, she was supremely pissed to learn that Simone had left Haven with Nicholas, leaving Shawn to clean up after the peak crowd on his own. As she stomped back up to the apartment and back into bed and then as she drifted to sleep, she let thousands of scenarios run through her head about what could be up with her friend. 


	24. Not so Aware

Chapter 24  
  
"Kay, what the hell are you doing here?" Simone asked as she wandered bleary-eyed into the apartment the next morning. Kay was up with her standard mug of coffee that she would slurp from all day, and Simone took a step back from the glare that she received in response.  
  
"Or should I be asking what the hell's the matter with you?" Simone amended.  
  
"Where have you been all night?" Kay asked, ignoring Simone's questions.  
  
Simone thought fast. She couldn't come up with a lie quick enough, so she told a half-truth. "Well, I decided to take your advice and get some..." As she saw the thunderclouds swamp her friend's face, she realized that she'd told the wrong half of the truth. She looked around the room as the apartment's climate grew uncomfortable, as if lightening was just containing itself from striking. She looked back to Kay alarmed. "Kay, calm down, what's the matter with you? What did I do?"  
  
"I saw you at Haven last night with Nicholas. Did you just happen to pick him for your getting some activities last night?" Her voice was calm enough to frighten Simone.  
  
"Kay!" Simone was shocked. And a little embarrassed. She couldn't believe that she'd been so careless about being seen with Nicholas. She'd have to have a talk with Shawn about the meaning of the phrase "do not disturb." To Kay, she continued, "Kay, I can't believe you'd think something like that!"  
  
Kay, feeling Simone's mild rebuke, calmed slightly. "What am I supposed to think, Simone? You walk around acting all mysterious, you LIE about working at Haven, poor Shawn is worried because you look haggard all the time, and when I go to check on you in the middle of the night, he tells me you left with Nicholas and then you don't come back until the next morning!"  
  
Simone realized that the jig had to be up or she was going to be seriously in danger of losing Kay's friendship, not to mention all her glassware, which was vibrating dangerously in response to Kay's anger.  
  
"Okay, Kay, just calm down and I'll explain everything."  
  
Kay, seeing that she was finally going to get her way, took a few deep breaths to calm herself and reined in the blue that was palpable in the room. "Okay, Simone, but no half truths this time."  
  
"Okay, I'll tell you as much as I can, but really, some of this doesn't just affect me," she threw in. "Other people are dependent upon this stuff remaining fairly confidential."  
  
Kay was even more mollified to realize that there was a reason behind her being left out of the loop. But only slightly. "Simone, stop stalling, you know I won't tell, just give."  
  
"Okay, okay!" Simone took a deep breath. "Nicholas is the main financial backer of Haven, Kay. And not just Haven, but Earth, too," she paused to let that sink in.  
  
"The Crane money, right?" Kay asked. "And what the hell is Earth?"  
  
"Not exactly the Crane money, but his trust fund. Since he can support himself off his research grants, he used to hand over his allowances to Haven, until it became solvent. He's probably made a lot more than he gave me originally, but we've been having talks again because I'm expanding... I want to open a night club called 'Earth' and last night, Nicholas told me about a venue we can make-over that his family already owns. It's an old jazz club downtown, apparently Nicholas's dad used to run it for kicks or something and then let it go out of business when he married Nicholas's mother..." Simone was getting into her descriptions, excited to finally be telling Kay about her plans.  
  
"Oh!" Kay shouted. "Haven and Earth, like Heaven and Earth, I get it!" she screamed triumphantly.  
  
"Good Kay," Simone responded dryly. "Now focus. You know Miguel's friend, Chad? Well, he's going to be my star DJ, only his scholarship to the University says that he can't work because it's to cover living expenses so he can concentrate on school. We're trying to work out something so he can get course-work credit for the experience, but since nothing is final, no one can know he's working with us on this."  
  
"You're dating Chad!" Kay vocalized at the same time that she came to that realization.  
  
Simone blushed, "Kay, Chad's a great guy and..."  
  
"Where did you sleep last night, Simone?" Kay interrupted.  
  
"Okay, fine, Chad and I are dating," Simone acknowledged. "But you and Charity are so excitable and drama just follows you guys around, I wanted to keep this safe and normal."  
  
"Oh, now I'm hurt," Kay said, pouting. She put down her coffee on the kitchen table and inched towards the living room as she spoke. "Charity and I don't ask for drama, it just sort of follows us," she said, maintaining her pout and still moving backwards.  
  
"Be that as it may," Simone began, "You two are still the reining drama quee..." she stopped talking as she realized Kay's destination. "Oh no you don't, you heifer you," she yelped as she dived for cover behind the sofa that Kay had just grabbed a cushion from. "And that's another thing," she continued, reaching for a cushion of her own, "Why must you two always resort to violence? Can't we just have one conversation that doesn't end in a pillow... umph... fight?" she said between swinging blows.  
  
"OHO!" Kay hooted. "Is this the same peace lover that pushed me off a bench and damn near broke my leg?!"  
  
"Always bringin' up old stuff," Simone said, as she ducked another of Kay's well-aimed swings. "Why must you always bring up the past?" she retaliated, quick enough to catch Kay's arm.  
  
"Simone, you know what?" Kay said, pausing her swinging and waiting for Simone to do the same. "You're full of shit," Kay finished, ducking as Simone aimed for one last blow. 


	25. Working Together

Chapter 25  
  
"Charity! I'm so glad you're back, this nut case beside me has been verbally and physically abusing me," Kay said as she hugged her cousin. "She called me a heifer and she's always attacking me with sofa cushions and..." Kay was cut off as a rag from behind the bar counter at Haven hit her on the side of her head. "SEE?!?!" she squealed. "Evidence!!"  
  
"Kay, what have you been doing to make such a sweet person do such terrible things?" Charity asked back. She was immediately pulled into a bear hug from Simone, who had scrambled over the counter after hearing Charity's response.  
  
"That's why I love this one more than you, Kay," she said. "She sees reason." Simone released Charity and turned the other woman so they were facing each other. "Charity, my dear, Kay has been a royal pain.. nosying around in my business, getting my employees all worried...."  
  
"Oh snap, speaking of employment, I'd better run to work, it's my first day, I can't be late!" Kay said, springing into action. "Charity, I'll debunk all of her unjust accusations when I get back," she said over her shoulder as she left Haven.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kay stood in front of her favorite professor, anxiously awaiting her first assignment as a research assistant.  
  
"Well, Kay, your timing is perfect. My TA will should be here any minute to get started. I need you to start off this summer by tracking down recommended supplementary readings for my course this summer and the ones I teach during the fall too. Since the TA has handled the classes before, you two should work together in the beginning."  
  
Kay gulped, and the knot that was in her stomach as a result of first-day- on the-job nerves blossomed quickly into a full-body case of the jitters. "Um, did you say TA?"  
  
Her professor looked at her strangely. "Yes, Kay, that's what I said," realization dawned on the older woman. "Oh, that's right, you were in the class last fall, do you remember the TA?"  
  
"Nicholas," Kay said through clenched teeth, visions of Simone screaming from torture dancing behind her eyes.  
  
"Kay," said an obnoxiously familiar voice from behind her. "I didn't...."  
  
The professor beamed. "Oh good, you do know each other. You should work well together then. Nicholas knows what to do; you two can go ahead and get started." She looked down at the manuscript she was working on, clearly indicating that they should begin immediately.  
  
They left the office and stared at each other in the hall.  
  
"Before you accuse me of somehow engineering this, let me just say that I didn't realize that you were going to be working with me on this, much less in town this summer," Kay burst out finally.  
  
"I find that hard to believe," Nicholas began, attempting to cover his own shameful delight in seeing Kay. "Simone knew I was going to be here; I can't imagine that she wouldn't have told you."  
  
At the mention of Simone's name, Kay's features grew grim and the air around them began to crackle. "Yes, Simone, that little wench, you'd think she would have told me that you were going to be here, but she didn't, so don't go putting this mess on me, you little twerp," she exploded. "And for that matter, why the hell didn't she tell you that I was going to be here since my presence clearly aggravates you so much?" Kay continued ranting as Nicholas grasped her arm and led her into his office down the hall.  
  
Exasperated with Kay's temper and that stupid blue thing that followed her around like a plague, Nicholas sighed deeply as he sat down in the chair behind his desk, and after sitting Kay down on a couch opposite him, he rubbed his forehead as if in pain.  
  
Kay stopped her ranting as she noticed him reaching into his desk and pulling out a container of aspirin. "Look, you, don't sit over there getting all melodramatic and patronizing with that damned bottle of aspirin like my very presence gives you a headache," she began again.  
  
"Dammit Kay, you're fussing at me about melodrama and the glass that my diploma is covered by is in severe danger of shattering because of your temper," Nicholas said, raising his voice to be heard above Kay.  
  
"Well... uh.... well, if you would stop accusing me of things, I wouldn't get so angry," Kay said reasonably.  
  
Nicholas blushed at this. He really did like pushing her buttons, it was just the blue thing that always seemed to be in the air around her that he couldn't tolerate. "Okay, Kay, I promise to stop antagonizing you if you promise to try to control that blue thing, or whatever you call it."  
  
Kay was thoughtful. "Nicholas, I know you don't want to deal with this, but I'm not sure I can control it around you; it's not something I'm doing to intentionally freak you out," she responded.  
  
"Okay, okay, I give," said Nicholas. "Understanding that whatever it is, you can't control it, but that it is tied to me making you angry, I'll try to not make you angry," he said hopefully.  
  
Nicholas, it's not that you make me angry that's creating this constant blue tension, it's that you make me feel so intensely about anything and everything, Kay thought sadly. Out loud, she agreed, "Okay Nicholas. We have to work together this summer; we should be civil. It seems as though we're not meant to remain totally indifferent to each other," Kay allowed, amending her past declaration that she would avoid him like the plague.  
  
"Oh no, Kay," Nicholas began, "It's got nothing to do with what's 'meant' or not meant to be; it just is for now, and let's try to keep it that way," he finished succinctly, determined to resist making the summer about anything but academic involvement.  
  
Kay felt saddened at his coldness, but then realized that he was constantly grappling with the same feelings that she was. Perhaps she wouldn't kill Simone, maybe just trip her up or something for tricking Kay into working with Nicholas this summer. Kay smiled benignly up at Nicholas, a plan forming in her mind. Romance novel heroine she was not, and she was not about to sit passively by while male stupidity and pride kept her from what she knew she was meant to have. "Let's get started then, shall we?" she said.  
  
Kay's smile unnerved Nicholas, as it was intended to do. "Uhhh, sure. I thought we could start with this list of books I made that were helpful for me when I was grading last year..."  
  
As they got to work, he brought over stacks of paper and joined her on the couch so they could look at things at the same time. Unobtrusively watching Nicholas as he prattled on about the virtues of Michel Foucault, Kay thought to herself that he didn't know what was about to hit him. 


	26. Progress of Sorts

Chapter 26  
  
"Hey Kay, did we say that Weber went into the section on political theory or methodology?"  
  
"Let me check my notes," she said. They were sitting in his office which had, over the past two weeks, become the center of both their worlds as they chased down reading material and sources before the professor's classes were to begin the following week. Nicholas peeked in her direction over reading glasses and the massive amount of books stacked on his desk. Kay was searching frantically through what amounted to several reems of paper and strewing them all over the floor in the process. But Nicholas was even more concerned about how her leaning forward over his desk pushing things around in her tank top was giving him an improper view of her... well, things he didn't need to see when he was thinking about the theoretical place of Max Weber.  
  
"Uh, Kay, I think the notes are under the pizza," he said, unable to keep his gaze off her... things he didn't need to see.  
  
Kay smirked to herself. She hated using her body as a sight of desire when she wanted so much more for him, but guys were so stupid about these things, she had to meet him on his lower level. She lifted her eyes to him and caught him staring down her shirt before he hastily brought his gaze up. "Oh, that's right, thanks," she replied as she innocently pretended not to notice his bright red face.  
  
She sauntered over to the pizza box laying on the floor across the room and Nicholas immediately realized his mistake as she turned away from him and bent her long frame over to shuffle under the box, giving him ample view of her... well, other things he just didn't need to see.  
  
"Wait, Kay, I remember now, it's methodology," he stammered, making up an answer to his own question on the spot. For the past two weeks, despite of his conviction that things would remain completely platonic between them, Nicholas was being continually reminded that he had felt very strongly for Kay as an attractive person inside and out before the whole mess with that blue nonsense.  
  
Kay smirked as she took her time standing up straight. "Okay, Nicholas."  
  
----------------------------------------------  
  
"Hey Nicholas, I'm not feeling well, would you mind bringing me those notes so I don't have to get over to campus today? I really want to compile it all this weekend." Kay sniffled into the phone for added effect.  
  
"Oh hey, why don't I just e-mail them to you? That way you won't even have to retype them," he replied helpfully. His immediate reaction to her request was to scream yes, I'll be right there into the phone, and it was precisely for this reason that his more thoughtful reaction was to avoid going to Kay and Simone's place. Whatever Kay had was making her voice wonderfully husky and melodious and he didn't need to be exposed to that more than absolutely necessary either, so he rushed to add, "I'm e-mailing it now, you should have it in a few seconds, feel better," and then hung up the phone.  
  
Oh no you don't Nicholas, Kay thought. She hit the redial button on her phone. "Nicholas," she rasped in an even throatier voice, "I can't check email at home because Simone took the laptop to Earth until the computers there have been set up. Can you please bring the notes over? We're children of the 90's, I think I still remember how to use a type-writer," she added with a smirk in her voice.  
  
Simone, who had entered to catch Kay's plea, snorted. Sure, she had taken the laptop to Earth, but only because Kay had begged her to so she could make this call.  
  
Kay furtively signaled to Simone to keep the snorting to a minimum as she listened to Nicholas's reply. "Uh, sure Kay, I'll be over in a little bit."  
  
"Thanks, I really appreciate it," she responded in a voice meant to send shivers down his spine. She heard him drop the phone and nearly broke the snorting ban she had just imposed on Simone.  
  
"Uhh, so-so-ssss--- uh, yeah, s-sorry about that, the phone slipped," he stammered.  
  
I'll just bet it did, Kay thought to herself. "No problem, Nicholas, I'll see you in a little while," Kay said to him before she calmly placed the phone on the hook.  
  
"Kay, you should be ashamed of yourself, practically moaning his name into the phone like that," Simone admonished.  
  
"What?" Kay said innocently, still rasping a bit. "I really am sick, my throat is a bit sore,"  
  
"Sure, daahhhhhling," Simone replied, dropping her voice an octave and drawing out the word to imitate the way Kay was speaking. "All you have to do is have Charity stop by and as quick as she can give you a high-five, you'll be all better."  
  
"Yeah, but he doesn't know that," Kay replied simply. "If he wants to pretend like blue doesn't exist, I might as well manipulate the situation for the greater good."  
  
"Whatever you say, chica," Simone said, "I'm gonna head downstairs to make sure Shawn doesn't need me for anything... as long as you're done using me to work your feminine wiles on Nicholas," she added, laughing and slamming the door behind her before Kay could actually answer.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kay nearly tripped and fell in her rush to get the door after she heard Nicholas ring the doorbell. She remembered that she was supposed to be house-bound sick at the last minute and slowed her roll. All she needed was for Nicholas to see a broken ankle and then accidentally help heal it.  
  
She plopped down on her couch and called out making sure to capture the true soreness of her throat in her voice, "It's open, Nicholas."  
  
As he opened the door, Nicholas thought to himself, I wish she would stop saying my name in that voice. It's gonna be stuck in my head forever at this rate.  
  
"Nicholas, I really appreciate this," Kay said as he dropped a folder full of hand written notes on the coffee table in front of Kay. He'd never seen gym shorts and athletic socks look as great as they did on her. He stared as he tried to figure out why her ill-fitting and ill-advised gym shorts that must have belonged to her father when he was on the high school track team combined with chunky socks that may have been white five years ago before someone wore them in a mudpit captivated him so. He brought his gaze up slowly to her unmade up face, which had turned pink during his perusal of her attire.  
  
Even Kay's attempts to use her female assets to get what she wanted had its limits, and she had chosen to wear what she would have worn if she had really been sick for on this stage she had created. As his eyes met hers, she knew she'd done the right thing.  
  
Nicholas couldn't keep his emotions out of his gaze and couldn't remember why he would have wanted to. The funky socks and tore up shorts looked so wonderful on her because they were on his Kay. She could have worn a tight burlap sack that hugged every roll and curve and he would have wanted her as much as if she was wearing a dress designed to flatter her figure. As she continued to read all of this in his gaze, Kay was fighting to maintain control of her carefully set-up plan.  
  
"Kay, I..." Nicholas began as he moved towards the couch.  
  
Kay just barely won her internal battle, resisting painfully the pull of the blue that sparked between them. "Nicholas, you aren't ready," she interrupted, keeping her voice low and calm in opposition to her racing heart. She felt tears build in her eyes as she read the plea in his own eyes, struggling to keep his continuous rejection of blue, of her love, in her mind. She could feel the blue in both of them, fighting to be made one in their joining and fought for long minutes with all her ability to keep it in check while Nicholas watched. She felt the moment when the blue, the love, finally subsided in the face of her will, and mourned its absence even as she felt relief that the pain it had been causing also died down slowly.  
  
Nicholas, who had seen on her face what his own indecision had done to her, what his inability to accept that part of her was doing, was heart broken. The look of calm acceptance he was now reading added to his pain. He though about the last couple of weeks, the time they had spent together working on organizing sources, and a flicker of hope came unexpectedly. Kay saw this too, and grasped on to it as proof that her plan was working. Even if Nicholas refused to admit it, she knew he had the ability to accept the blue that came along with her and she would continue her battle against his own stubbornness for as long as it would take.  
  
Her will fortified, she continued. "Nicholas, you aren't ready," she repeated firmly, and then added clearly, "but you will be one day."  
  
He backed toward the door as though the very confidence that had first attracted him to her were now pushing him away. He just couldn't be as confident about what he perceived to be a relationship based on something beyond either of their control. They barely knew each other, after all...  
  
Kay couldn't read his expression anymore, as Reese had often told her, that nonsense only happened in the movies for any extended period of time, but she could just guess that his pride and need to control everything had kicked in and was making him pull away. She decided to make a mini- recovery.  
  
"Hey, Nicholas, Simone's got some great tea downstairs, maybe that'll help with my throat. Give me a minute and I'll change, and then we can go downstairs to discuss these notes a bit before I get them presentable. Since you've come out here, I should be polite and treat you to a mug."  
  
He silently agreed with a nod and sat down on the sofa as she got up, his thoughts still churning in his head. It seemed like, whatever she thought about the future, Kay was willing to keep the status quo for now, and he'd just see where it led them. 


	27. Panic

Chapter 27  
  
"Shawn, what's hap'nin'?" Kay rasped.  
  
"Nothing much, Kay," he rasped back. "Guess you'll be having tea this afternoon."  
  
She wacked him for imitating her. As she walked forward to seat herself, Shawn caught sight of Nicholas behind her.  
  
"Boss man! What's goin' on?" he said cheerfully.  
  
"Good grief, don't call me that, Shawn," Nicholas said, reddening slightly. "I'm not your boss." He suddenly remembered that he'd never quite explained his relationship to Haven and Earth to Kay. He turned to Kay, who had stopped her long strides across the room to hear the interchange, and caught her grin.  
  
"I'm not completely dense," she said off-handedly, as if she hadn't almost ended her friendship with Simone over the issue. "Simone told me awhile ago." She refused to tell him that she'd been in a fit of jealous rage at the time.  
  
"Dude, whoever cuts my checks in the Boss man to me," Shawn added in response to Nicholas's object at the title. "Simone is just....umph." He whirled around and looked accusingly at Simone and the stack of menus she was wielding like a baseball bat. "Dude, I was just kidding, I knew you were there... Boss lady," he added lamely with a sheepish grin.  
  
"Just seat the folks like I give you checks to do," Simone replied. As Shawn rushed off, she said to Kay and Nicholas loud enough for Shawn to hear, "Don't tell the nut I'm going to make him Haven's general manager since I'm moving completely over to Earth when it opens... he might hurt himself in excitement." On cue, Shawn bumped into the bar counter and then quickly continued forward, an insanely goofy grin on his face.  
  
Kay and Nicholas shook their heads and chose a table in the back. Conversation was at first stilted, but soon, as they both got into the intricacies of the notes, awkwardness faded. As Simone looked on, she noted how well they worked together, how well their relationship worked, when they weren't so busy worrying about it not working.  
  
She was distracted from her observations by the sound of two voices calling her name. She grinned to greet the other goofy love birds in her life.  
  
"Hey Charity, hey Miguel." They were so in denial, she thought to herself.  
  
"What's up, Simone?" Charity asked, and then plowed on without waiting for an answer. "Miguel and I will seat ourselves, we're just having a snack while we discuss what we're gonna do with ourselves this summer when we're not in class. Rent doesn't pay itself after all, gotta get out there and..." Charity paused when she realized the strange look Simone was giving her.  
  
Simone turned to Miguel, who was grinning dopely at Charity and said to him, "Miguel, you go sit anywhere you want, I want to catch up with Charity for a minute."  
  
The two goofballs gave each other waves. From behind the bar where he was hiding out from Simone just in case she changed her mind about his promotion, Shawn made the international "I'm gonna be ill from all this mushiness" sign by pointing his finger down his throat.  
  
"Charity, you two have got to be the silliest thing going right now," she said idly to her friend. "What the hell have you been doing in that apartment of yours? Just festering together?"  
  
Charity glanced away from Miguel long enough to stick out her tongue at Simone. "Oh, shut up," she began. And then, with a little more seriousness in her voice, "Simone, I don't know what to do, none of this seems quite right with the whole Kay and Miguel thing, and then there's the fact that Miguel has no idea about the blue thing and look at how horribly Nicholas reacted to finding out about it..."  
  
Simone was giving her that look again, so Charity paused her babbling. "You're going to tell me that I'm jumping the gun, here, aren't you? And that I shouldn't worry so much about something that's completely hypothetical right now, anyway, right? And that...."  
  
"Charity! I haven't said anything yet, you won't let me!" Simone broke in. "I was going to say that I'm glad you're finally with someone who makes you stupid happy."  
  
"Yeah, but that's just the thing, Simone, we're not really together or anything. It's so weird, we just do everything together, there's been no talk of anything official yet. I'm just so nervous and excited all the time! I brought him hear this afternoon, not just to talk about jobs, but to sort of gear the conversation towards making our relationship plain."  
  
Simone nodded thoughtfully. "I think you should do just that." Charity beamed and turned back to her constant watching of Miguel. Simone poked her and said, "Look doofus, get over there before Shawn really does choke himself behind the bar."  
  
Charity quickly walked to where Miguel was standing, and, as she walked up, she realized that he was talking to Kay who, unbelievably winked at her. He also noticed that Nicholas and Miguel were trying to burry the hatchet, but things were just way too awkward between them.  
  
"Hey Kay, hi Nicholas," she said, ending the bragging contest Miguel and Nicholas were engaged in about their weightlifting habits. She looked around quickly for a reason to leave Kay and Nicholas alone. She was also a party to Kay's little plan and didn't want to mess anything up.  
  
"I see you guys are working on some research stuff," she said, gesturing to the papers they had both spread on the table from the folder Nicholas had brought with him. "Miguel and I need to go chat about some other stuff, so we'll leave you to it," Charity finished brightly, pulling Miguel away from the table as Kay snickered.  
  
Nicholas looked at her bemused. "I just can't believe how blasé you are about your cousin and your ex-boyfriend carrying on like that."  
  
"What?" Kay said turning to him. "Oh, aren't they so cute together?"  
  
"Kay, they started flirting with each other the night you and he broke up. I know, I was there!" Nicholas said, refusing to allow her to change the subject. He was desperately afraid that she might be overcompensating and secretly upset about losing Miguel and he wanted to know for sure.  
  
She looked at him calmly, memories of that night coming back to her in a flood. Her gaze turned sad... for him. "I know you were there, Nicholas. And all I'm going to say about it is that they are meant for each other. They see it, I see it, everyone sees it. It's not something that anyone can control, it just is." She interrupted his attempt to interrupt him. "No, don't say anything, just look at them and think about it without trying to reason it out." She switched gears to throw him off. "So Decartes... that's a mandatory reading, right?" She moved to pick up the corresponding notes and winced as she tipped over her mug on the way, spilling tea all over the pages strewn across the table. Nicholas was about to tell her to watch out as she jerkily reached for napkins behind her, but too late as the mug rolled towards the floor and shattered on impact. Kay, her momentum to turn around thrown off by the sound, reached down and immediately cut her hand deeply on the sharp ceramic pieces. She straitened and winced as pain shot up her arm and her hand began to bleed all over Simone's luxurious table cloth.  
  
"Shit," she said.  
  
Nicholas, for his part, was supremely astounded by her calmness and this flashed clearly across his face. Kay realized that her lack of panic at her own injury was going to cause mild panic in others if she didn't react more like someone who couldn't self-heal.  
  
She quickly willed a wild look into her eyes, even as she quickly grabbed a napkin to conceal how badly she was cut.  
  
She faked a stutter as she talked to a worried Nicholas. "I - I think I'm f-fi---fine, Nicholas." She continued to frantically wrap her hand. "I just need to rinse it off to see how bad it is, I'll just get Charity to come to the rest room with me."  
  
"Kay, I think you should have that checked out at the hospital; it looked pretty bad," he said, turning slightly green around the edges. Blood was definitely not his thing. He made himself reach for her arm.  
  
Kay realized too late what his aim was. His hand made contact with her skin, and she let the blue feeling wash over her, even as she felt the sense of dread that Nicholas was NOT going to like this. When it was over, she met his stunned eyes. 


	28. Insights

A/N - I just noticed on my options that you couldn't leave unsigned reviews. I fixed the problem, anyone should be able to leave comments now, sorry about that!  
  
Chapter 28  
  
"Kay, take off those napkins and let me see your hand," he said, a strange calmness in his voice, belied by the wildness in his eyes.  
  
"Nicholas, just remember, I told you it was nothing, a tiny cut, it's probably not even visible now," she finished lamely.  
  
"Kay, just let me see it," he said. People were starting to stare because of the noise and because of the brief change in lighting that the blue had caused. Simone, used to these types of things by now, jumped up and quickly gave her standard explanation for the blue flashes, this time creatively throwing in a plug for Earth.  
  
Kay slowly unwrapped her hand while everyone else was abuzz about Earth. Nicholas met her gaze. "Blue again?" he said, still in shock. She nodded in response, saying nothing, trying to will him to understand.  
  
"There was a cut on your hand," he began to reason out. "I know because I saw it when you did it and I saw all the blood. Now there is no cut on your hand and you were never upset about the cut on the hand in the first place. Which leads me to believe that you knew this would happen." He met her gaze for confirmation, and again she nodded.  
  
"Another part of this blue thing that I didn't know about, that I have no control over. We just make contact, and suddenly you're healed? I don't even have to consent. Kay, I hope you don't expect...."  
  
Her eyes flashed dangerously and the air in the room began to feel uncomfortable for everyone. Charity and Simone both immediately rushed toward their table. Kay snapped to Nicholas, "I tried to prevent this, although it blows my mind that you would mind HELPING me so much. You've got serious control issues Nicholas..." she ranted.  
  
"ME?!" he roared back. "You're the one who can't control her temper! Kay, your hair is almost standing up on end, you look like friggin' Steven King's Fire Starter. And you're telling me...."  
  
"Nicholas Foxworthy Crane, I'M telling you to lower your voice in my establishment this instant," Simone interjected. "Charity, make sure Kay is alright. Nicholas, you get out until you figure out how to behave yourself in public." As Nicholas began to sputter at this treatment, Simone ushered him to the front of Haven and then out the door, giving Shawn a signal to take over damage control on her way out. "Nicholas, what is the matter with you? Have you lost your mind?!"  
  
"Kay... that woman... she makes me lose my mind, Simone," he began. He took a deep breath. "Simone, I don't know how you can be around both of them, those cousins, with all that blue, with all that uncontrolled energy constantly sitting in the air. It's maddening," he said, pleading with his tone for her to understand.  
  
Simone softened, the threat to her baby, Haven, over. "You know, Crane, you've got serious control issues. Instead of thinking of it as a loss of control, why can't you think of it as something wonderful and spontaneous? A gift? You don't have to control something, have some sort of power over it, for it to bring you pleasure, Nicholas, for it to be a good thing." Simone thought about the ways in which his family had constantly attempted to control Nicholas's life. She felt sympathy for the handsome control freak in front of her, but she also bore witness to the pain he was causing her friend on a regular basis. She knew, though, that Kay wanted to handle this her way, and so she backed down. "You don't have to change your mind now, but, speaking of control and loss of it, Kay wasn't the only one causing a rucus in there, buddy."  
  
Nicholas grinned sheepishly. "Well, just think of it this way.... Your loss is my loss when it comes to Haven and Earth." 


	29. Miguel's Awareness

A/N Okay, so these last few chapters are the end of the story. I decided to re-post the entire story in one page at the end for two reasons. First, I haven't been so hot at editing along the way, so the full story that comes after the last chapter is well-edited and without all the pesky author's notes. Secondly, whenever I come across a finished story from fanfiction, I like to download the whole thing at once and read it at my leisure offline. So, for those of you who like it that way too, you can just cut and paste the final-final chapter into Word or something and viola! Hope you've enjoyed the fic, reviews are welcome.  
  
Chapter Twenty-Nine  
  
Kay couldn't take it anymore. Now that they had finished the supplementary reading list, Kay and Nicholas had taken an unspoken break from working together and seeing each other in general, and it was making her crazy. They had barely spoken since the incident at Haven two weeks earlier. In the department, Nicholas stayed holed up in his office, and Kay had moved into a cubicle in the hallway.  
  
"I'm going to call him, Simone," she declared.  
  
Simone dived for the phone. "No, Kay!" she shouted. "You have a good plan, Kay. Stick to it. Nicholas has got to come to terms with all of this on his own. You pushed as much as you can, you'll only make it worse for yourself now."  
  
Kay knew she was right, but briefly considered wrestling Simone for the phone anyway. As she sized up Simone's position and the easiest way to flip her onto the sofa, the phone rang, making her thoughts moot.  
  
Simone looked relieved; she had caught that mischievous glint in Kay's eyes. "That'll be Charity, the girl has flipped over something to do with Miguel. See, this is why I don't tell y'all my business, just melodrama all over the place," she continued muttering as she brought the receiver to her face. "Hey, girl, what's up?" she began.  
  
"How did you know it was me?" Charity asked over the phone line.  
  
"Because, you and Kay seem to have the uncanny ability to want to act crazy at the same time. Kay's being goofy, I figured you'd call with a bit of goofiness," Simone reasoned.  
  
Charity laughed, incapable of arguing the veracity of Simone's point. "Too true. I'm going to come over in a few, just have some munchies ready, you guys have got to help me with Miguel." Charity hung up, already halfway out the door by the time Simone realized that the conversation was over.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Charity, what's the matter with you? I thought you and Miguel had finally decided that you are together; what could be the problem now?" Simone asked her friend as they both flopped on the sofa. Kay joined them.  
  
"It is driving us both insane; I can't stand it anymore, you guys have to help us," Charity finished melodramatically.  
  
"Well, cousin dear, it would help if we knew what the problem was," Kay said sardonically.  
  
"Okay, Kay, don't get offended or anything, but I just don't want Miguel acting like that weirdo Nicholas is behaving," Charity began.  
  
Kay snorted and replied, "You're not offending me by calling a spade a spade. Nicholas is acting like a weirdo."  
  
"Yeah, well, it's all because of blue and so I haven't..." Charity paused and a sheepish look came over her features. "I haven't umm... well, I haven't told him about it yet," she finished on a mumble.  
  
"WHAT?!" Simone and Kay yelled at once as Charity winced.  
  
"But how is that possible, Charity? You don't have to tell someone you love about blue, they figure it out soon enough when you...." Kay faded out as she thought of something. She gave Charity a sharp look. "No! Charity, please tell me that you have not been...."  
  
Simone got it and shrieked with laughter. "Charity, he must think you're the biggest prude on earth. You haven't been touching your live-in- boyfriend?!"  
  
Charity groaned and buried her head in a pillow that she had been clutching on her lap. "It's so horrible, you guys, you cannot imagine."  
  
"Charity, that has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. The air crackles when Nicholas and I get mad at each other, we don't even have to be touching. You can't tell me that everything has been going so peachy keen over at Chez Shrew that you haven't gotten in an argument with Miguel."  
  
"Oh my God, that is so hard to explain. We don't have to even be mad at each other, the err... uh... tension, shall we say, is so high since we aren't touching that us being in the same room for extended periods of time makes our hair stand on end," in spite of herself, Charity let out a giggle as she continued. "I think I have him slightly convinced that our apartment has abnormal microwaves or something, whatever the hell that means. Thank God Miguel isn't a physics major."  
  
Simone giggled with Charity, as Kay turned pensive. "You know, Charity," she began thoughtfully; "I don't think you've got Nicholas read properly. It's not the blue that freaks him out, it's the loss of control over the situation that makes him freak out so badly. I don't think Miguel's such a control freak that he wouldn't learn to accept it," she finished.  
  
"I think, Kay's right, Charity," Simone chimed in. "And if you don't want me making out of context references to microwaves whenever Miguel is around, you should work this out, because it is just too funny to let go, girl."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So, Charity, I take it that you still haven't told Miguel," Kay said a couple of weeks later to her cousin as they practiced using their powers. They figured out that with practice, they have been able to put the blue to less love-intense related uses... such as cleaning Miguel and Charity's apartment without lifting a finger.  
  
"How can you tell?" Charity asked, attempting to sip her milkshake without breaking tactile contact with Kay.  
  
"Because that pipe cleaner is doing a number on that sink over there; I figure it's symbolic of all that tension you've been letting build up," Kay snickered.  
  
Charity turned furiously red and concentrated. The pipe cleaner went back into its cabinet, the blue haze around it fading, and the vacuum cleaner started up, glowing with the blue power that was propelling it. "It is not," Charity began to protest. "Oh what the hell, Kay, I have to tell him, otherwise, I'm gonna explode the next time I see him from pure frustration, and seeing little bits of frustrated me all over the place has got to be more traumatic than finding out about something as useful as this blue thing is turning out to be."  
  
Kay had a thought, "Charity, are you sure Miguel isn't coming home anytime soon?"  
  
"Nah, Simone has him helping Chad set up things over at Earth, he should be there for awhile," Charity said idly.  
  
"Yeah, but Simone is tricky, you never know when she's pulling..." Kay's voice faded as the door to the apartment opened.  
  
"Simone sent me home early, something about a lighting problem that needed to be worked out before..." Miguel began to announce as he burst into the apartment. He shut up when he noticed the Hoover hoovering happily in its own blue light behind the sofa Kay and Charity were lounging on.  
  
Kay and Charity abruptly dropped each others hands, and the vacuum cleaner ceased its activity.  
  
"IT WAS REAL," Miguel screams. He looked at Charity with slightly wild eyes. "You kept telling me it was microwaves or something, but all this time you were controlling it!" His gaze whipped to Kay. "And you knew too!! Is this some sort of sick game the two of you play? Drive Miguel crazy?"  
  
Charity looked ill. Kay, sensing that she would be no help if she stuck around, quietly left the apartment.  
  
"Well?" Miguel said to Charity. "What the hell has been going on around here?"  
  
Charity, still not making eye contact with Miguel, began to explain, but was quickly interrupted.  
  
"Dammit, however you're doing it, would you stop it now?" Miguel said, furious as he felt the air around him snap and crackle with tangible blue light.  
  
Charity winced at his tone and forced her own voice to remain calm. "I'm not doing it this time, Miguel, you are," she began. "If you would just sit down and try to listen calmly, I can explain," she finished.  
  
Miguel, hearing the plea in her voice, even as she tried to hide it, attempted to regain control of his temper. The tension in the room became less palpable, and he relaxed even more in response. He sat across from her and raised his eyebrows expectantly.  
  
Charity took the next hour to explain things to Miguel, much as she had with Kay, and ended by adding, "So when are you moving out? Because, I'll be damned if I'm giving up this great apartment just because you can't handle a little bit of blue haze around every now and again, I don't care if you did find the place, Miguel, I'm just not leaving and..."  
  
Miguel grabbed her hand, and, as blue ripped through them both, he kissed her thoroughly. "Charity, I'm never leaving you," he said by way of an answer to her first question. She grinned back and the entire apartment glowed blue as they sealed the deal with another heart searing kiss.  
  
From below on the street, Kay looked up and grinned when she saw the blue heat radiating from her cousins apartment. Her faith that she and Nicholas too will make amends was strengthened, and she walked back to her and Simone's place with her resolve to wait out his stubbornness reborn. 


	30. Nicholas's Awareness

Chapter Thirty  
  
"Well, Kay, there's only a month of summer left and this last part of your research work with me this summer. Should be a piece of cake, actually, since you've already done it for me once." Kay was standing in front of her Professor, anxiously awaiting her last assignment. Despite her resolve to wait out Nicholas until he realized that they were meant for each other, she was rapidly becoming aware that he was just as determined to keep things between them platonic.  
  
"So, uh, what is it you want me to do?" Kay asked, hoping that it wouldn't require too much of her time. She had to have time to plot to help herself and Nicholas out of the friend zone.  
  
"I need for you and Nicholas to come up with another supplemental reading list for a new class I'm trying out in the fall. It's on identity and awareness. I know you've got some expertise with this Kay with your group, so you'll be taking a more central role in this. Don't let Nicholas boss you around," the professor said, winking.  
  
Kay tried to keep the smirk off her face. "Oh, I won't, trust me," she said, and added to herself, I'm gonna take control in more ways than one.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So where should we start, boss lady?" Nicholas asked Kay as they got to work. He'd taken the news of them working closely together again with surprising aplomb; evidently, he was getting used to putting his feelings aside. Kay knew she was going to have to shake that up a bit.  
  
"Well, a wise man once told me that we all should start by confronting our own privilege," she began, grinning at him.  
  
In spite of himself, Nicholas grinned as well, thinking back to the first time they had met.  
  
flashback  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You guys, the problem is that people just don't recognize their privilege," Kay was in her element. A captive audience, agreeing with her every word as she ranted about the unawareness of her peers on campus was all she needed to forget her falling woes. "If people understood the concept of majority-ness, the state of being in the majority and how that is an identity in itself, instead of simply hoping that the minority will one day overcome identity itself to conform."  
  
"Excuse me, but may I ask what your background is?" a voice from the audience asked.  
  
"I'm sorry?" Kay jerked out of the heightened state of understanding she always felt when speaking about what she believed in. "Who asked that question?"  
  
A tall, slim, but well-built blonde man stood up slowly and replied, "I did. I was just wondering, what is your background.. Uhhh, Kim, is it?"  
  
Kay recovered quickly, "No, it's Kay. Kay Bennett. And please, introduce yourself and clarify your question for the rest of us," she replied smartly.  
  
"My name is Nicholas Crane. And what I mean by background is that I was wondering about your family's economic status when you were growing up. You're speaking to us about privilege, but we haven't heard anything that suggests you've confronted your own."  
  
Startled whispers and sudden snorts of laughter shot through the audience. Kay, for her part, kept her composure, while internally fuming at the audacity of this Nicholas Crane.  
  
"I don't see how that could possibly be relevant but."  
  
"Oh, but surely you do, Kay Bennett," Nicholas grinned broadly, almost startling Kay into responding with a smile of similar wattage. "You must see that your life, if you have managed to confront your own privilege, could serve as a wonderful demonstration to the rest of us as to how we may move beyond simple guilt to productivity and progress."  
  
Trained by years of social marginalization and the nerve that comes along with it, Kay responded, "That's a wonderful point, and I'm pleased that you've paid so much attention to my presentation. My background is indeed one of economic privilege and I confront it through recognition and constant interrogation of my motives."  
  
"A wonderful, politician's answer, Kay Bennett," Nicholas' smile almost imperceptibly transformed into a smirk. "But since you culturally aware types are always into action and affecting change, how do you turn that interrogation into productivity?"  
  
Knowing when to quit while ahead, Kay equivocated. "Again, wonderful and perceptive question, Nicholas, but one that will have to wait for our next meeting," Kay lifted her wrist and glanced obviously at her watch. "Yes, we have now reached the end of this discussion session, but I look forward to seeing you all here at the meeting next week. This meeting of AWARE is hereby dismissed."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
end flashback  
  
Nicholas snapped back to the present, shaking the image of a vulnerable and somehow innocent looking Kay from his mind. As he gazed at the woman sitting across from him, he realized that she'd gotten older in the year since they'd met. He had the unsettling thought that maybe he'd had as much to do with that aging as anything else. He tried to remember where their present conversation had left off.  
  
"So Nicholas, can we assume, without making an ass out of either of us, that we've both questioned our own privilege enough to proceed now?" Kay said, gently reminding him of the topic at hand.  
  
He smiled back at her. "Yeah, Kay, so what's next?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Look, Nicholas, you cannot possibly believe that if you just make people aware of how the system has them duped into submission, they'll overthrow the government. I think people are willingly duped, and you'd be hard pressed to prove otherwise."  
  
"Listen, Kay, I'm going to have to go with Chomsky on this one, there are structures in place that prevent people from realizing these things..." Nicholas argued back. They had already decided to throw Chomsky's infamous text, Manufacturing Consent into the curriculum, but they'd gotten side tracked debating the central issues of the book.  
  
"Oh come on now, Nicholas, let's be a little nuanced with our arguments here. You know well enough that with post-structuralism we've been able to look beyond one way power structures..."  
  
Nicholas smirked. "If I recall, correctly Kay, you once had to come to me to understand what post-structuralism is really about..."  
  
flashback  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So what did you want to know about post-structuralism?" Nicholas asked after they had gotten settled in.  
  
Unprepared with a question pertaining to the supposed reason for their coffee break, and becoming more aware of the awkward situation she had impulsively thrown herself into, Kay stalled. "Hey, what's with the business first? Let's at least order. Look, here's the waiter."  
  
Nicholas gave her a funny look, but placed his order. Instead of trying to press her to ask a question after their orders were taken care of, he simply looked at her expectantly.  
  
Oh shit. Kay thought. What now? Well, at the very least, stop talking to yourself and talk to him! "So uh. yeah, post-structuralism. I guess I was wondering how to accurately describe a theory that purposefully defies being pinned down."  
  
Nicholas smiled a strange smile at the question, pleased with her insight, and yet slightly puzzled. "Kay, that's a great question. only. you uh, asked the same question in class two weeks ago."  
  
The same thought hit Kay again... Oh shit. Better turn the tables before he figures out exactly how full of it I was when I came up with that phony excuse to get together. "Well, Mr. Crane, it seems as though you pay more attention to what I say than I do. What's up with that?" Kay knew there was nothing to her statement, but at least now the answering was up to him.  
  
Nicholas blushed. He had, in fact, internalized every single comment and question Kay asked in class. It was clear that her leadership of AWARE was not unfounded, she was quite easily one of the brightest students in the class, always interrogating the material, rather than simply memorizing the lecture. Of course, he wasn't quite ready to let Kay know how well-versed he was in her class participation  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
end flashback  
  
Kay grinned sadly at Nicholas as she remembered that first intense night together along with him. "Yeah well, things change, Nicholas, don't they?" she said.  
  
Nicholas looked thoughtful. "They certainly do, Kay."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay, we've almost made it through the whole syllabus, but now we've gotta stick some current events in so they really get all this theory," Nicholas said.  
  
"Yeah, you're right," Kay said thoughtfully. "I mean, I would say we could pick an issue and talk about it, but that wouldn't really give the students a sense of the totality of what we're talking about."  
  
"Agreed. We've got to think of something that ties in everything, with a variety of issues. They've got three weeks for current events before the exam, it can be pretty broad..." Nicholas paused as he thought.  
  
Kay was immediately distracted by how handsome he looked. His strong profile, softened by thought, the quirky way some of his hair in the front stuck straight up. He looked positively regal sitting across from her. A thought hit her. "Regal..." she began to laugh loudly.  
  
Nicholas looked at her perplexed. "What did I do now that's so funny, Kay?"  
  
"You just looked so regal sitting over there, so presidential... I was just thinking that we should do the section on Bush, he's so unaware, the students will have a field day picking apart his presidency, and they'll cover most current events that way, too." She tried to keep her giggles down to a minimum, but failed miserably. Soon, Nicholas was laughing along with her as he remembered...  
  
flashback  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Well, I suppose my charm has its obvious appeal, thus explaining you calling me for 'help'" Nicholas wiggled his eye brows and made quote signs with his fingers as he said "help." "So, why don't we cut through this charade and talk about what's really important here." Kay had a brief moment of panic, until he continued with a comical smirk, "Me. I'm what's really important. Go ahead, ask me anything. As long as it's to do with me."  
  
Kay couldn't help it, she started laughing. "Why Mr. Crane, I had no idea you were so modest," she said. "Let's see. why don't you tell me where you're from?"  
  
"Here and there," Nicholas replied with a wink.  
  
Kay immediately sensed a challenge. "Oh really? Where were you born?"  
  
Nicholas smiled, "It's a sad, sad story really. Quite unfortunate," he said melodramatically as he sighed in obvious angst over the story of his birth. "I was born in Paris while my mother was visiting my aunt."  
  
Kay was confused, but persistent. "Nicholas, what in the world? What's so 'unfortunate' about that?"  
  
Nicholas grinned even more, knowing she was gonna love this punch line. "You see, dear Kay, the location of one's birth doesn't eliminate them from having any occupation on earth. with the exception of one." He paused, waiting for her to realize what he was talking about. "It's one that I have long felt that I was destined for, one suitable to my own greatness. And alas, because I was born in Paris, I will never be able to share this greatness with the world."  
  
Kay's immediate burst of laughter was enough to make everyone around her grin, even though they had no clue what she was laughing about. "You're such a SCHNERD, Nicholas!"  
  
He laughed with her. "You scoff at my dream of being President of the United States?" he said with pretended offense.  
  
"No, I scoff at your presumption that the world is missing out on 'your greatness' just because you'll never be President!" Kay managed through her laughter.  
  
"Well, see if I share anything else with you. Although, I suppose I must. It's bad enough that I can't share this with the world in the proper capacity, I suppose I can continue to share me with you."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
end flashback  
  
"You lied to me, that evening, you know," Kay said softly, bringing them both out of their reverie.  
  
"What? Wait, when did I lie?" Nicholas asked, defenses up immediately.  
  
"You said that you'd continue to share yourself with me, and you haven't done so since that night," she replied simply. "You begin to, get scared, and then stop."  
  
Nicholas was beginning to get angry, feeling manipulated. "Listen, Kay, you know where I stand with all of this..." he began.  
  
"Yes, I know," Kay said calmly. "What you don't seem to know is that, we could have been spending all of this time being angry at each other, all of this energy wasted, getting to know each other. Instead, you cut yourself off from me because you couldn't control everything." She looked around the room as blue light danced in the air, a product of his growing rage. "And with all of your attempts to maintain control, you still seem to be losing it," she finished quietly. Done with him for the day, she left him alone in his office.  
  
Nicholas reigned in his temper as Kay left, leaving only him and his thoughts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Kay, I know you're excited, but slow down before you..." Nicholas said to Kay's back. He cut off the end of his sentence as he watched her bump into a desk that was poking out of a classroom and crash to the ground. "Hurt yourself," he finished lamely.  
  
He knelt beside a wincing Kay. "Kay, I know you're excited about finishing your first full syllabus, but you can't go running through the department like that, people always prop open doors during the summer with..."  
  
"With desks, thank you Nicholas," Kay finished for him. "Desk, meet Nicholas, Nicholas, meet desk. I've just become well acquainted with desk here, you see, Nicholas?" Kay said dryly from her position on the floor. She gasped then, as pain radiated through her ankle. She made eye contact with Nicholas, who was still kneeling beside her. "I'm afraid you're going to have to pretend like you're not afraid of touching me for a moment to help me out here. Otherwise, I think my ankle is sprained and it'll be a trip to the hospital."  
  
Nicholas returned her gaze, realizing what it was taking out of her to ask for his help after the horrible way he'd treated her last time they were in a similar situation. "Kay, I didn't really mind helping you... I don't mind helping you now, it's just that..."  
  
"Yeah, I got, it, Nicholas, you've got control issues. Can you please take my hand now before someone sees us?"  
  
He did as she asked, and the blue surged through both of them into her ankle. She breathed deeply as she felt her muscles re-knitting, stress being removed from her ankle bone. She met his gaze once again. "Thank you," she said simply.  
  
"You're welcome," he replied. "Only next time, don't go running down these halls, got it?" he asked with a grin.  
  
"Got it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So uh, what else can we, I mean, you do?" Nicholas asked Kay. They were in his car, on the way to have the syllabus and supplemental reading list bound. The professor didn't require it, but Kay was so impressed with herself about the whole thing that she wanted to keep her own preserved copy.  
  
"What are you talking about, Nicholas? I'm already having the thing professionally bound, do you think I should have it gold leafed?" Kay was giving him a funny look.  
  
"No, I meant... umm... what else can that whole blue thing do? I mean, besides cover up that cute klutz thing you've got going on?"  
  
Kay grinned. "You think my clumsiness is cute, Nicholas?"  
  
"Well, you know, when a puppy runs into a full length window it doesn't know is there and bounces back, it's kinda funny and cute. Your clumsiness is cute like that," he snickered at her.  
  
"Oh shut up. Anyway, my cute klutz thing isn't nearly as impressive as Charity and I cleaning an entire apartment together."  
  
"You clean your apartment with the blue thing? You can control it like that?"  
  
Kay looked at him as if he were a moron. "What, you think we just go around letting blue sparks fly without control? We're learning to reign it in and put it to work. It's why you're the only one who sets of the blue in the air when we have an argument these days. I've learned to control the result of my emotions," she said loftily.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Nicholas asked her.  
  
"Yes," Kay replied, sure of herself.  
  
"So if I were to say, lean over and tickle you now, you'd be able to control the blue that would result?" he asked.  
  
This threw a pause into Kay's self-righteousness. "Umm... well, you're driving now, so we'll never know."  
  
Nicholas smirked at her. "Sure, Kay, whatever you say." But he continued to think over what she had said about her and Charity controlling the blue they shared with practice.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So, how are your cousin and good old Miguel doing?" Nicholas asked Kay. They had just turned in their final product to the professor and were at Haven celebrating over Chai.  
  
"Oh, they're great," Kay said, grinning as she thought about Miguel and Charity's mutual dopiness about each other.  
  
"So, uh, he handles the whole blue thing okay?" Nicholas asked, attempting to be innocent with his inquiry.  
  
Kay looked at him, her smirk letting him know that she wasn't falling for his pretense of off-handedness. "Yeah, it's a pretty funny story how he found out, actually. Charity and I were cleaning their apartment one day and Simone had told Charity..."  
  
When Kay finished the story, she and Nicholas were both laughing.  
  
"That is so like Simone to manipulate them into solving their problem," Nicholas said.  
  
Kay smiled at him. "Sort of like she manipulated us this summer?"  
  
He smiled back. "I suppose so, Kay," he allowed. "Although, ultimately, it's up to us to really solve our own problem. Simone just gives people a push in the right direction."  
  
Kay desperately tried to keep her pulse rate in check. "So uh... you think we're moving in the right direction?" she asked him.  
  
Nicholas gave her question serious thought before answering. "I think that's a distinct possibility." 


	31. Ultimate Awareness

Chapter Thirty-One  
  
"Kay, I absolutely forbid you not to come," Simone began.  
  
"Simone, get a grip," Kay started to reply.  
  
"I will not get a grip, you have to be there, Kay, I'll never forgive you if you don't come."  
  
"Simone, you can't come in, throw an invitation into my hand and then forbid me not to come, especially since..."  
  
Simone again interrupted her. "Kathleen Bennett, I don't care if Nicholas is coming, you're going to be at Earth's grand opening if I have to drag you there myself." Simone stomped on the last syllable to emphasize her point.  
  
"SIMONE," Kay yelled at her friend, grinning to show she wasn't really angry. "I'm going to the opening, I was just saying that there's no reason for you to forbid me not to come, because there's no way on Earth I'd miss such an important event," she finished.  
  
Charity snorted from Simone's sofa at the horrible pun. She decided to join the conversation. "Yeah, Simone, Kay was just telling me who she's going with," she added mysteriously.  
  
Simone looked from Kay to Charity incredulously. "No friggin' way!" She shouted. "How is this possible? I didn't even..." she mumbled the rest of her sentence with a slightly chagrinned look.  
  
"What was that Simone? Were you going to say that you didn't even have to MANIPULATE us into going together? Yes, I'm going with Nicholas, and no, we haven't worked everything out yet, and yes, we're planning on it, and finally, NO, you had nothing to do with it." At Charity's second snort from the sofa and Simone's sharp look, Kay amended her statement, "Okay, almost nothing," she allowed. "Thanks for pushing us, Simone, we did need it."  
  
Simone grinned. "No problem. At least now that you and Charity have finally gotten most of your drama worked out, I can take time off from matchmaking to enjoy my relationship with Chad," she added.  
  
"Oh yes, do tell," said Charity, getting up to drag Simone over to join her on the sofa.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Simone, this place looks awesome," Kay said as she walked in, "Although you might have told me about the atmosphere. I look like I'm trying to match the ceiling," Kay said wryly. She looked down at her electric blue baby tee that she had paired with a dark blue A-line skirt and electric blue ballet slippers for comfortable dancing, and then back up at the ceiling, which was threaded with the same blue in pulsating lights that acted out the music that Chad was pumping through the club.  
  
"Tell me about it," came a voice behind her. Kay turned around and grinned at her cousin who had just walked in on Miguel's arm. Charity was sporting a tube top the same color as Kay's tee, which she had paired with a tight black miniskirt and high patent leather black boot.  
  
"Good grief, woman, I think you forgot clothes when you walked out of the apartment," Kay whistled at her cousin.  
  
"Oh shut-up," Charity said as she blushed. "I figured I'd go all out for Simone's special night. Besides, I do believe that our hostess wins the least dressed competition tonight," she finished.  
  
Simone shrugged nonchalantly as all eyes perused her get-up. She wore blue ribbons weaved intricately through her locks, mingling with the straps at the nape of her neck that seemed to be the only reason her top stayed in place. The straps circled her neck and wove under her arms to tie again at her nape, leaving her back totally bare. Simone's short shorts were boldly the same blue as her top. She finished the look with a pair of high-heeled Mary Jane's that looked suspiciously like the ones that Carrie Bradshaw had just swooned over on the most recent Sex in the City.  
  
"Don't stand there ogling me, go have a blast, then come tell me what you think!" Simone ushered her friends into her new establishment.  
  
Kay stood back, looking around anxiously as Charity and Miguel eagerly joined the growing crowd on the dance floor.  
  
"Simone, have you..." she began.  
  
"Yeah, um, he's on the second level, right above where we're standing," Simone answered. Kay looked up and saw only more ceiling. She looked back at Simone questioningly.  
  
Simone laughed. "It's the VIP area, so it's tricky to get to, or even see," she responded. "Walk straight to the middle of the dance floor and stand on the four black tiles you see there. It's an elevator that's activated from the DJ booth. Chad knows you're going up, so you shouldn't have a problem."  
  
Kay looked at Simone as if she'd lost her mind. What kind of secretive VIP area could you get to in the middle of the dance floor? Knowing that Simone generally had good sense about these things, though, she followed her friend's directions. As she stepped onto the four tiles, Chad winked at her and she nearly tipped over as a railing rose out of the floor to encircle her and provide something for her to hold onto. She quickly realized that there were mirrors placed cleverly around the elevator so that the people dancing around her as she rose to the second level only saw themselves reflected back unless they looked carefully.  
  
As she rose higher and higher, and finally about the high ceilings of the first floor, she was struck with a sense of déjà vu. The second floor of Earth looked suspiciously like the ground floor of Haven complete with a bar running the length of one wall, only its décor featured funky blues and silvers, with black sofa's and other seating to keep the colors from getting too overwhelming. Glass coffee tables with ebony black trim made Kay wince as she wandered carefully through the dim room towards where Nicholas was seated with someone.  
  
Nicholas remained seated, while the other man stood up as they both saw Kay approaching. The man said, "Kay, I presume," in an overly cultured voice. "Please excuse my son for his lack of manners, he was taught to stand when in the presence of a lady."  
  
Kay grinned at Nicholas, who snorted and muttered, "Kay's no lady, Father,"  
  
Kay looked from father to son. She decided to stick with her own parental training and be civil... for the moment. It occurred to her that the controlling man in front of her was quite possibly largely responsible for Nicholas's control issues. "Mr. Crane, Nicholas knows that I find such traditions disempowering for women, although I appreciate your sentiments, all the same."  
  
To her surprise and clearly to Nicholas's as well, Julian Crane sat down and laughed boisterously. "Well said, Kay, well said. I hope you won't find it too disempowering to join us for drinks that we've already taken the liberty of ordering."  
  
Kay grinned back and made herself comfortable on the loveseat with Nicholas. "No, Mr. Crane, not Too disempowering."  
  
"Oh, please, stop flirting with each other. Kay is my date tonight, Father."  
  
Both Kay and Nicholas were astonished again when they detected a tinge of red color Julian's skin in the dim light. "Right you are, Fox," he replied affably. "This venture of yours is providing me with plenty of entertainment."  
  
"So you approve of all of this, Mr. Crane?" Kay boldly asked.  
  
"Of course, my dear," Julian began, "And at the risk of being accused of flirting with you still, please, call me Julian. Mr. Crane is my father, and you calling me by that moniker makes me feel like I'm as stodgy as he is."  
  
Kay, never the one to hold her tongue, responded, "Well, Julian, I grew up in Harmony, and I must admit that your reputation does you ill."  
  
Nicholas choked on his rum and coke and grinned broadly at his father, waiting for his explanation.  
  
Julian reddened again. "Well, you've picked a spunky one, haven't you, Fox?"  
  
Nicholas responded, "She picked me, mostly, Father, and please, do answer her implied question." Nicholas was not about to let his father off that easily.  
  
"Yes, well, I must admit that business has often made me a bit ruthless," he paused as Kay snorted into her peach martini. "As I was saying, yes, business often makes me a bit stand-offish, but I once owned an establishment such as this in my youth, and helping Simone and Fox get this place off the ground has been rejuvenating."  
  
"You've been helping them all along?" Kay asked, surprised.  
  
"Why yes, Fox didn't tell you?"  
  
Kay slanted her eyes at Nicholas and responded, "No, Fox didn't."  
  
"I suppose it's not the easiest thing for him to talk about, especially since we haven't always gotten along. My father sent him off to boarding school, and I never protested as much as I should have. You see, he and Simone know each other because her mother and I used to run the first Haven together, although it was a jazz club then. Although the relationship ended while we were still fairly young, we always made sure to keep in touch. Fox and Simone grew up knowing of each other, and met at the university."  
  
"Why do you keep calling him Fox?" Kay asked.  
  
Nicholas sputtered a bit, and jumped in before his father could respond. "It's just a family nickname."  
  
Julian saw his chance to get back at his son for all the awkwardness he had enabled. "Oh, I see you haven't told Kay your full name, son. It's a shame, such a noble name. Nicholas Wentworth Foxworthy Crane. Let's see, son, you've got a lot of names, did I get them all?"  
  
Nicholas squirmed in the loveseat. "Yes, Father, I believe you did."  
  
"Oh no you didn't," came Simone's voice from behind Kay. "Isn't your last name technically hyphenated? Didn't Ivy give you her last name as well?"  
  
Nicholas groaned as Kay laughed. "Oh wait, I know this one. Your name is Nicholas Wentworth Foxworthy Winthrop-Crane? Good grief, and I thought I was being formal by using your full first name."  
  
Simone jumped in to save her friend. "Julian, mom wanted me to send you her best wishes. We can go to my office in the basement if you want to conference call her; I know she'd appreciate hearing from you. Nicholas, Kay, go down there and dance, I command you!"  
  
They all complied with her wishes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wow, Simone, that was amazing," Charity said. They were all draped along the bar on the first floor attempting to recover from a long night of dancing. The club was officially closed for the night, and even Chad had put on a mix tape to relax with his friends at the bar. Julian, after conversing with Eve Russell on the phone for hours, had retired to his hotel room, leaving "the young-uns" to their debauchery, as he put it.  
  
A loud banging came from the bolted door. "Don't worry about it, the bouncers stay late to ward off any stragglers attempting to get back in," Simone said.  
  
Kay and Charity looked thoughtful and then they both jumped up. "Simone, open the door!" Kay said as she scrambled to put her slippers back on. "It's Jess and Reese!"  
  
Simone reached behind the bar and pressed a button that released the electronic bolt on the door.  
  
Jess and Reese rushed over to the bar, greeting everyone. "Oh man, we drove for so long, I thought we'd never get here," said Reese after everyone had greeted each other. "Jess likes to keep driving in the wrong direction for hours rather than stopping for directions." Jess whacked him playfully on the shoulder. Blue sparks flew up as a result, and eyebrows rose all the way down the bar.  
  
Jess looked at her friends and family in bewilderment. "What? You guys must know about this. Charity, you and Miguel are together, Kay, you and Nicholas, right? Why are you guys acting so weird? Did the wires from here to Harmony get totally crossed?"  
  
Kay was the first to speak up. "So wait, you two experience the whole blue thing together? And there wasn't any drama or anything about it?"  
  
Jess and Reese looked at her strangely. "Why would there be drama? Don't you think it's kick ass?" Reese asked. When he got no response, he turned around and grabbed Jess into a bear hug. And the two of them rapidly rose into the air, the blue that surrounded them blending perfectly with the soft blue atmosphere set by the club lighting. They spun, and then started to dance to the music, all of this happening five feet off the ground. Jess looked down at their stunned faces and laughed. "You've got to be kidding me. Maybe staying in this college town all summer has made you guys too stuffy. Isn't this the coolest?" Her shining eyes met Reese's and they slowly floated to the ground.  
  
Jess was beginning to get worried about the lack of response from the crowd of familiar faces around her. "What's the matter with you guys?" she asked.  
  
Simone grinned at Jess and replied, "Nothing, these guys have been acting stupid about the whole blue thing for almost a year now; they're just stunned to see someone not acting as stupid as they have been."  
  
Kay, Nicholas, Miguel, and Charity made indignant sounds in response to this.  
  
Simone ignored them and grabbed one of Jess's hands and one of Reese's. "So, Kay and Charity could make me feel better if I got between them. Can you two do that floating thing with me?" Jess, Simone, and Reese ran to the middle of the club to try this out, as if they were playing with a new toy.  
  
Charity began to giggle. Miguel took one look at her and grabbed her hand to join the three goofing off in the middle of the club. Chad wandered over to Simone, tickling the bottom of her shoe-less feet as she gyrated, floating in the air. She giggled and allowed herself to fall into his arms. She and Chad began their own dance, on a plane not only physically separate from their friends, but spiritually as well.  
  
Kay and Nicholas watched this all apprehensively. Kay was normally the one who broke such silences, but she refused to tonight, knowing that Nicholas was the only thing keeping them from joining the fun.  
  
He began in a casual tone that belied both their state of minds, "Hey Kay, wouldn't you say we know each other pretty well, by now?"  
  
Wary of any new games he might be playing, she stuck to a one word answer. "Yes."  
  
"And wouldn't you say that we've grown fairly close over the past few months working together."  
  
Again she chose simplicity. "Yes."  
  
"And this whole blue thing, it's kinda convenient, what with all the cleaning and everything."  
  
She looked at him, amazed. "Yes."  
  
"And I mean, let's be honest here, both of us lose all control when we're together, the only real peace comes when we're not denying out attraction, right?"  
  
"Yes," Kay was unable to keep the huskiness of tears out of her voice at this point.  
  
Nicholas himself simply allowed the tears to fall down his face as he continued. "And we really do love each other, don't we, Kay? Not just because of something convenient like this blue business, but because we've grown to love and value one another, right?"  
  
Kay still maintained her grip on her tears, allowing them out only through her one word responses. "Yes."  
  
"So you wanna umm... go steady with me?"  
  
Kay grinned broadly and finally allowed her tears to fall. "Yes, you big Schnerd, I'll go steady with you."  
  
The song playing suddenly stopped, and both Kay and Nicholas turned to the dance floor. They watched as a giggling Charity and Jess held hands tightly, melodramatically waving their hands through the air. Another record cut on as Chad winced as the loud scratching sound it made before the rich tones of Mary J. Blige soared out of the speakers. Charity waved her hands again and four microphones flew into her hands. She tossed one each to Jessica and Simone, and beckoned Kay to join them. A soft blue light surrounded the women as they slowly rose into the air, belting out "Real Love" as the men they loved watched and marveled at the power the women who loved them exuded.  
  
The End 


	32. Full Story: Kay's Awareness of Blue

Kay's Awareness of Blue  
  
Chapter One  
  
Kay walked through campus, smiling at the folks she knew, and enjoying the view. It wasn't often that she remembered to pull herself out of the sarcastic, constant state of cultural interrogation that she engaged in to garner pleasure from her surroundings, but the scenery was all the more precious when she did. Suddenly, the world inverted and she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder, and then a striking numbness in her ankle.  
  
"Shoot" she yelped. "I can't believe I did this again!" Ignoring the snickers and polite offers of help as she lay sprawled across the front lawn of her university's campus, Kay mentally surveyed the damage she was sure to come with the confidence of a lifelong klutz. Let's see she thought, the ankle should be fine for a few hours, the shoulder is going to hurt right up until the ankle swells up, better stand up quickly so the leg doesn't get too stiff.  
  
"Kay, what in the world?" Miguel asked, grinning down at his best friend. "Did you fall again?"  
  
"No, Sherlock, I all of a sudden felt the need to be intimate with the ground. Shut up and help me up," she said without looking at him.  
  
"Does this mean that you're going to be walking funny again? I've had a rough week, I could deal with the laughs," he said, still grinning and making no move to help her.  
  
"Miguel, I would smack you if I didn't need you to help me up," she paused for effect as she slowly brought her gaze up to look at him, shielding her eyes from the sun with the hand that wasn't propping her up. "But if you don't give me a hand, I won't have a reason to exercise restraint."  
  
Laughing out loud now, Miguel reached down to help her up. As they began to make progress away from the scene of the fall, someone came up and asked "Are you alright, Kay? That was a pretty rough fall."  
  
"I'll be fine eventually," she replied shortly, "But in the meantime, people coming up to me and asking how I'm doing while describing how badly I looked going down should do wonders for my health."  
  
Miguel snorted and whacked her on the arm. "Kay!" She grinned his way as the unsuspecting well-wisher hurried off.  
  
"What?" she replied innocently.  
  
"Nothing at all," he said. He looped arms with her as they slowly made their way off, "Let's get you home and order in before that bad boy starts to swell." Kay gladly agreed, not minding the excuse to skip out on dinner in the oh so sketchy cafeteria.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You guys, the problem is that people just don't recognize their privilege," Kay was in her element. A captive audience, agreeing with her every word as she ranted about the unawareness of her peers on campus was all she needed to forget her falling woes. "If people understood the concept of majority-ness, the state of being in the majority and how that is an identity in itself, instead of simply hoping that the minority will one day overcome identity itself to conform."  
  
"Excuse me, but may I ask what your background is?" a voice from the audience asked.  
  
"I'm sorry?" Kay jerked out of the heightened state of understanding she always felt when speaking about what she believed in. "Who asked that question?"  
  
A tall, slim, but well-built blonde man stood up slowly and replied, "I did. I was just wondering, what is your background.. Uhhh, Kim, is it?"  
  
Kay recovered quickly, "No, it's Kay. Kay Bennett. And please, introduce yourself and clarify your question for the rest of us," she replied smartly.  
  
"My name is Nicholas Crane. And what I mean by background is that I was wondering about your family's economic status when you were growing up. You're speaking to us about privilege, but we haven't heard anything that suggests you've confronted your own."  
  
Startled whispers and sudden snorts of laughter shot through the audience. Kay, for her part, kept her composure, while internally fuming at the audacity of this Nicholas Crane.  
  
"I don't see how that could possibly be relevant but."  
  
"Oh, but surely you do, Kay Bennett," Nicholas grinned broadly, almost startling Kay into responding with a smile of similar wattage. "You must see that your life, if you have managed to confront your own privilege, could serve as a wonderful demonstration to the rest of us as to how we may move beyond simple guilt to productivity and progress."  
  
Trained by years of social marginalization and the nerve that comes along with it, Kay responded, "That's a wonderful point, and I'm pleased that you've paid so much attention to my presentation. My background is indeed one of economic privilege and I confront it through recognition and constant interrogation of my motives."  
  
"A wonderful, politician's answer, Kay Bennett," Nicholas' smile almost imperceptibly transformed into a smirk. "But since you culturally aware types are always into action and affecting change, how do you turn that interrogation into productivity?"  
  
Knowing when to quit while ahead, Kay equivocated. "Again, wonderful and perceptive question, Nicholas, but one that will have to wait for our next meeting," Kay lifted her wrist and glanced obviously at her watch. "Yes, we have now reached the end of this discussion session, but I look forward to seeing you all here at the meeting next week. This meeting of AWARE is hereby dismissed."  
  
A few minutes later After accepting the praise of her peers for yet another heartfelt and inspiring piece, Kay scanned the remaining people in the audience. Never one to back down from an obvious challenge, Kay walked slowly, yet purposefully towards the place where Nicholas Crane was sitting.  
  
She smiled carefully down at him, mentally taking in his appearance and self-carriage. She observed a young man her own age, perhaps a couple of years older, self-confident, but, as she inspected more closely, not as a result of his clear physical perfection, but something else. Yes, that's it, I suppose. He's used to being right, Kay thought. Well, we're going to have to fix that aren't we?  
  
At the same time that Kay's internal assessment was taking place, Nicholas was conducting one of his own. He saw a tall woman, rather heavyset, with a good hair cut that was totally unflattering and nice clothing that was completely ill-fitting. Her self-confidence was evident, but it appeared to rest on her like the clothing - forced onto a form not quite comfortable with it. He suddenly felt the need to back off, sensing that Kay needed this victory much more than he did.  
  
Nicholas returned Kay's careful smile with a genuineness that he hadn't felt when he was teasing her earlier.  
  
"That was quite a presentation. What exactly does AWARE stand for?" he asked her.  
  
Kay, understanding that something had changed in his attitude, but not quite sure what, decided to cautiously match his response in kind. "It's an acronym for Awareness Watch." she paused as she internally spelled "aware". "for Action Required for Equity," she finished with a smile.  
  
"So basically, you took your main tenet, turned it into an acronym and then made up the words it would stand for."  
  
She grinned widely, her quirky sense of humor activated by his candor. "Even better. Someone came up to a table where I was passing out anti-war literature one day, and asked me what group I represented. I was there filling in for a friend, but it sounded like a good idea to have my own group, so I made it up on the spot."  
  
Nicholas laughed quite possibly the most attractive laugh that Kay had ever heard.  
  
Encouraged, she continued, "Your question was quite unusual."  
  
Nicholas's smile faltered as he blushed slightly. "I'm sorry about that, I have a bad habit of."  
  
"Oh, it's aight," Kay interjected, "I was going to say that I was glad to hear someone question me, it shows that you were paying attention. I sometimes worry that people are awed by my ability to speak and not what I'm actually saying."  
  
Nicholas's good humor returned. "Ah, she's modest and attractive," he grinned.  
  
Kay blushed, knowing that neither was true. "Yeah, well, I try." She paused, not wanting the conversation to end, but having nothing else to say. "Well, Nicholas, it was nice mee."  
  
"Hey, where are you headed now?" he interrupted, not looking forward to the end of the exchange any more than she was.  
  
"Just to the dorm for now. How about you, do you live on campus?" she asked.  
  
His smirk returned, not nearly as offensive as the first time she saw it when he was grilling her. "Nah, I'll leave that honor to the undergrads. I have an apartment in the burbs. I actually better move my car before the meter runs out," he admits reluctantly.  
  
Kay was upset to learn that he was a graduate student. Not that she'd had a chance with him before, but graduate students tended to look on undergrads as children, despite the small difference in age. "Oh, well. umm." she stuttered, searching quickly for something to say. "Well, my dorm is on the way to the parking lot, I'll walk with you."  
  
"You can be my protection," Nicholas quipped.  
  
Kay was sobered, instantly aware that she was significantly larger than Nicholas. Although he was taller than her by a couple of inches, her weight problem definitely made her the natural protector and he the protected. "Yeah, sure," she said calmly, and began to gather her things and walk quickly out of the room.  
  
"Whoa! Slow down there, Kay!" Nicholas called as he quickly shrugged on his coat and hurried after her. "The meter won't run out for at least ten minutes," he said as he caught up with her.  
  
She couldn't help but to grin over at him. "Isn't that lucky?..." She was once again unsure of what to say next.  
  
Fortunately, Nicholas wasn't quite as speechless. "So what are you studying? I assume political science?"  
  
"How'd you guess?" Kay smirked. "Actually, I'm double majoring in anthropology. I figure all politicians should have a little dose of cultural understanding to be truly effective at what they do."  
  
"I completely agree," Nicholas said.  
  
"Oh you do, huh? So what are you studying? Are you working on a masters or doctorate?"  
  
"I'm working on a master's right now in East Asian studies, actually."  
  
"Well, that's something I have nothing to comment on, being totally unknowledgeable on the subject." She paused, but continued just as he was about to, "Which means you're in luck and should probably win an award for getting me to admit any lack of knowledge."  
  
Nicholas laughed out loud again. "Well, isn't it actually an appropriation of knowledge to disclaim it?"  
  
Kay stopped in her tracks. She'd never met anyone who could read her so effectively.  
  
"That's GREAT!" Nicholas looked startled at her enthusiasm.  
  
"Happy to please, Kay Bennett."  
  
"Well, this is my building. It was nice bantering with ya, Nicholas Crane."  
  
"Likewise, Kay Bennett. I hope to have the fortune to do so again."  
  
"Sure ya do," she smirked.  
  
"Kay Bennett, I can't wait," Nicholas responded with an awkward intensity.  
  
Unsure of what to make of this awkwardness, which sat so strangely on the man's beautiful shoulders, Kay slowly backed away towards the front door. "Well, I'll see you around then. Bye, Nicholas."  
  
"Bye, Kay."  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Miguel smirked. "Look at those two," he whispered to Kay. The two were walking down the Main Street in their college town of Harmony.  
  
"What am I looking for?" she whispered back. Kay had a pretty good idea of what Miguel was smirking about, but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.  
  
"Oh come on. You can't tell me that they don't look just the slightest bit goofy together," he looked at her, a little confused by her lack of reaction.  
  
"I have no clue what you're talking about," Kay ignored his inspection of her expression and continued walking down the street. Benefit of the doubt revoked, she thought to herself. Miguel really was a twit sometimes.  
  
"Oh," he replied, looking as if he'd just resolved something for himself, "you must have missed it then. there was this funny lookin' couple who."  
  
"She was wearing black boots, he had on a black leather jacket with a Boss label on the sleeve?" Kay stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked directly at Miguel as she was speaking.  
  
"Uhh.. yeah, that was them," his smirk reappeared. "So you know what I'm talking about."  
  
"No, I don't." Kay began walking briskly again.  
  
"Jeez, Kay, I've never seen you move this fast in my life," Miguel complained. "Anyway, I was talking about how ridiculous they looked together. She was a good three inches taller than him and twice his size. You can't tell me you don't think that looked a little strange, that they just don't fit together as a couple" Miguel couldn't figure out what was wrong with his buddy. She was always making fun of people with him but she seemed to be intentionally ignoring the opportunity to do so now.  
  
Kay once again stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, so abruptly that Miguel nearly walked by her before she grabbed the sleeve of his jacket. She seemed to be struggling to formulate a response. Finally, she blurted out, "Look, there's Eddie Bower, let's see what's new."  
  
Miguel, never able to pass up an opportunity to update his gray sweater collection, accepted the bizarre change of subject with a shrug and followed Kay into the store, the incident forgotten.  
  
Chapter Three  
  
"Miguel, we're gonna be late if you don't move your butt!" Kay yelled up to the stairs of Miguel's apartment. She was excited to be going to the first event of the new term. Sophomore year in college, as far as she was concerned, was the time to let loose after a year of learning the ropes.  
  
"You know, you could go without me!" He yelled back.  
  
"You're the one dragging us to this thing; I wouldn't have even heard about it unless you'd said something at dinner last night!"  
  
"Well, now we're both going; I RSVP'ed for you!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Kay yelled back up. "Who does that?!"  
  
Miguel appeared at the top of the stairs. "No need to yell," he smirked. "I can hear you just fine."  
  
"Fu-uuuny," Kay replied. "As I was saying, who RSVP's for someone who they haven't even told about the event?"  
  
"Well, I was going, so you're going, that's just the way it is," Miguel couldn't tell if Kay was really perturbed or just teasing him. He played it safe and went for simple explanations. "I just thought you'd want to go, what's the big deal?"  
  
Kay wasn't sure herself what the big deal was. She just knew that she'd been joking in the beginning of this conversation and that somewhere along the line, she'd gotten seriously freaked out for no apparent reason. She decided to downplay until she figured it out. "It's not really a big deal, it's just. don't you think it's kind of strange for you to tell someone that we'll both be attending a get-together when only you were invited?"  
  
Miguel was rapidly becoming bored with the conversation and besides, he still couldn't figure out why they were having it in the first place. "Ummm, no, I don't think it's strange. Let's go."  
  
And off they went. Conversation returned to normal as they walked to the apartment where the party was being held. Or, relatively normal.  
  
"So, what kinda barbeque is this? Just a random thing?" Kay asked.  
  
"Umm. yeah," Miguel responded absently as he waved hello to a beautiful woman walking by. The woman grinned. Miguel followed her with his eyes as she passed by them. Kay smacked him back to reality. She had no claims to Miguel, but she did think it was rude of him to ignore her when they were walking together. "Miguel, you didn't even hear my question. Are you sure this is just a random barbeque?"  
  
"Actually, wait." he paused to think as he focused on what she was saying, "It's a birthday party."  
  
"Oh man, Miguel, who's birthday?"  
  
"Uhh. Hey! How's it going?" Miguel grinned broadly as another woman greeted him.  
  
"Miguel!!! Focus!" Kay was getting impatient. She tried not to let the flirty thing bother her on principle, but when she was attempting to have a conversation, it was vexing.  
  
"Huh?!" Miguel snapped back to the conversation again. "Oh, sorry, it's Charity's b-day. What should we get her?"  
  
"Uh, Miguel, we're on the way to the party, what do you mean what should we get her? Isn't it a little late for that?"  
  
Miguel just grinned back. "oh.Hey you!" Miguel winked at yet another woman walking by. Kay always questioned the intelligence of the women at her school when she walked with Miguel. They all fawned over him like idiots. She gave Miguel a good whack. "That's it Miguel Lopez-Fitzegerald, I'm trying to have a conversation with you!"  
  
"Kay, what are you yelling about? We don't need a great gift, she'll be gifted by our presence. That's the beauty of the barbeque phenomenon." He grinned proudly at his reasoning.  
  
"Riiiiiight, Miguel." Kay said with resignation. She knew what he really meant. He meant that they were bringing the gift of his presence and everyone would be too excited that he was there to notice they hadn't brought anything. "Okay, better than a last minute gift is no gift at all, Miguel, or we can even pretend you left it at your place. So no gift. Where is this thing anyway?"  
  
Her question was answered as Miguel led her around the corner and the sounds of at least 50 kids inhaling burgers, playing baseball, and yelling over loud music greeted their ears.  
  
As they entered the courtyard attached to a huge sorority house, they walked in the middle of a raucous toast of beer cans, just as everyone was cheering the birthday girl. Miguel, ever the life of the party, burst in and joined the cheer, louder than everyone else. The crowd immediately turned from the toast of the birthday girl to Miguel, as every woman in the room rushed over to greet him and the men all sat back to admire his finesse. Kay wandered in behind him and received a few "wussups" from the few people who noticed her entrance.  
  
As the party wore on, the distance between Kay and Miguel slowly grew as woman after woman squeezed in to fawn over Miguel. Finally, Kay gave up attempting to appear remotely interested in the "Miguel, tell us about the time you." conversation and joined some of the guys who were playing baseball at the other end of the courtyard. As she quickly got sucked into a complex series of games, she yelled over her shoulder to ask Miguel to join her. The guy standing next to her snorted and said, "I don't think he heard you. He appears to be distracted."  
  
Kay grinned as she assured her teammate, "Oh no, Miguel always pays attention when there's baseball to be played."  
  
The guy smirked. "Wanna bet." He lightly grabs her shoulders and rotates her around.  
  
Kay could barely maintain her composure when she caught sight of Miguel, HER Miguel, with one of their classmates sitting on his lap, slowly rubbing his back. She couldn't help herself, and, acting on instinct, she said, "Miguel, put her down and come play." To her utter embarrassment, he didn't hear her over whatever the woman was busy whispering in his ear. From the corners of her eyes, she took in more smirks from her baseball companions, who obviously had heard her demand. She raised her voice a notch and said, "Miguel, come here for a sec." Still no result, unless even more people turning around to witness her making a spectacle of herself counted. Realizing that she had to get Miguel's attention or look like an even bigger loser-jerk, she yelled, "Miguel! Would you listen to me for a sec?!" Most of the quad fell silent as Miguel finally looked in her general direction, and his devotees snickered behind their hands at her.  
  
"Was that you hollering, Kay? What is it, I'm busy" he responded.  
  
Mortified beyond belief, Kay realized what an idiot she was making of herself and weakly replied, "N-n-no- nothing, nothing, umm. never mind."  
  
As knowing looks flew around the room, Kay got back down to her game as Miguel continued to bask in the glory of his admirers.  
  
Soon, the hostess announced that cake was about to be served. Kay attempted to sit close to Miguel, reminding herself that it was quite rational to want to sit near the person who brought her to the party. Her attempt was successful. relatively. Despite the fact that she landed a chair right beside Miguel, she couldn't compete with the two women who placed themselves neatly on either of his legs. Throughout the entire cutting and eating of the cake, Kay found herself having to repeatedly call Miguel's name to get his attention, with most of the party realizing she was calling him before he did.  
  
An hour or so later, Kay, being relatively used to sticking out had managed to turn the embarrassing situation into one of camaraderie with the guys at the party, who had long ago learned not to attempt to compete with Miguel for womanly affection. In fact, Kay was so used to being shunned by women because of her friendship with Miguel and being ignored by men as a woman because of her less than spectacular physical appearance that she naturally fell into buddy mode at most events, and was beginning to be comfortable with at least having a place playing baseball.  
  
Miguel, who after three hours of fawning, was growing bored of hearing about himself, began to wonder where Kay was hiding. A quick search around the baseball field and he spotted her in the position of short stop, heavily engaged in a bout of trash talking and with the man on base. He felt an uncomfortable sensation as he watched his best friend playing their game with other guys and decided that it was time to head home. After some careful maneuvering, he managed to disentangle himself from the devotees and make his way over to the other side of the field.  
  
"Hey Kay," he called on his way.  
  
She didn't look up, although every fiber of her being was instantly and carefully attuned to his exact location and his approach.  
  
"Kay!" he called a little louder, coming up directly behind her.  
  
She carefully maintained the banter of trash talk with the other players, pretending not to notice his presence.  
  
Miguel found himself growing extremely perturbed at her lack of reaction. After all, hadn't he just left a group of women vying for his attention to speak with her? He tapped her on the shoulder, a little harder than he intended to get her attention.  
  
"Hey!" Kay protested as she lost her balance and the man on base began stealing home as she regained her composure. She turned around to face Miguel, a scathing remark hovering on her lips.  
  
She was met with his broad grin and a wink. "I think it's time to go, don't you?"  
  
Her retort died on the spot. Mentally, she bolstered herself, telling herself to have some respect. "Actually," she replied, "I was doing so well here, I thought I'd head back with these guys to the campus diamond to play for a little while longer."  
  
Miguel was astounded, but always smooth, "Why would you do that? Aren't we going to have one of our all night batting competitions?" He pouted.  
  
Kay melted inside, hardly noticing the smirks that were forming on the faces of all the devotees. "Umm., well, I thought."  
  
Miguel knew he had her. "I thought so too. Grab your coat and I'll see if I can find our hostess so we can say good-bye."  
  
Kay, recognizing when she was done for, stood up and said her goodbye's to her fellow players. As she gathered her belongings, she looked around for Miguel, who should have returned by now. Not seeing him, she asked the woman standing next to her if she'd seen where Miguel went off to. Intent upon her visual search, Kay didn't see the sneer appear on the woman's face. But she heard it in the response.  
  
"Lost track of him, did ya?" the woman asked. "Seems like no matter how hard and desperately you try, you can't keep his attention for very long."  
  
Kay responded, a lot more casually than she felt, "Yeah, it's funny though how I'm the one he always comes and leaves with."  
  
"I wouldn't bet on that today," the woman responded. Kay slowly followed her pointed gaze. Miguel was in an archway of the sorority house wrapped around the birthday girl with the hostess giggling nearby. Kay, disgusted by the entire afternoon's events, marched over and tapped Miguel on the shoulder.  
  
"Said our goodbye's yet?" she asked in a bitter tone.  
  
Miguel whipped around, almost dropping poor Charity, and grinned at Kay. "Yup, I think that just about did it." He cheerfully waved to the mini- crowd watching his spectacle and walked out with Kay trailing behind him.  
  
"You always have to get in that last little bit of scandal, don't you," she asked him, sarcasm dripping from her words.  
  
"Sure do," he responded happily, completely unaware of her facetiousness. "You know, I thought our presence was a good gift and all, but nothing really compares to the gift of a good Miguel hug, right, Kay?"  
  
"Whatever you say," she responded, unmoved by his cheerfulness.  
  
"Hey Kay, you know, I'm actually kinda tired now." Miguel began.  
  
"You're what? Miguel, you dragged me from the game because you said we were going to bat, and now you're 'too tired'?" she protested, already predicting where this conversation was headed.  
  
"Well, you know, it sounded like a good idea at the time." Miguel hedged.  
  
"Yeah well, playing with those guys sounded good to me, and now I can't." Kay whined.  
  
She hated whining, but Miguel appeared to bring it out in her. She decided to embellish for added effect. "Besides, I think one of those guys was interested, " she began.  
  
Miguel snorted. "Interested in what?"  
  
"Me, you moron!" Kay yelled at him.  
  
"Oh, hehe, yeah sure Kay. Umm, sorry I ruined that for you," Miguel smirked, pretty sure that the guy was NOT at all interested in the homely Kay.  
  
"Good-bye, Miguel," Kay was suddenly extremely tired of his company. They were almost to a short cut to her place.  
  
"What do you mean, don't you want me to walk you the whole way?" Miguel was a bit taken aback by Kay's abrupt farewell.  
  
"Miguel, you never walk me the whole way. We walk in the direction of your place, and I end up cutting back around three blocks to mine. I'm going to take this short cut and I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Miguel, reassured by the 'see you tomorrow' decided he could let a little moodiness slide.  
  
"Okay Kay. G'nite." He said the words to her back as she rushed home, knowing, as always, that things would be better in the morning.  
  
Chapter Four  
  
"Kay, I think we better get going," Miguel said vaguely in Kay's direction.  
  
She looked blankly back at him and grunted in response before turning back to ESPN's recap of the last baseball season.  
  
"Okay. I'll take that as a grunt of agreement," Miguel said, shaking himself out of his own baseball stupor, realizing that if he didn't get them up and to their first class of the semester, they wouldn't make it.  
  
Kay grunted again in response, and waved vaguely at the book bag she'd brought with her when she arrived at his place an hour ago for lunch.  
  
Miguel, well versed at interpreting the strange noises Kay emitted in place of words, threw her bag at her and pulled her up, as she continued to watch the TV over his shoulder.  
  
Her attention was diverted only when he turned off the television. "Hey!" she protested, "We can still see the TV out of your window on the way to class, leave it on!"  
  
Miguel shook her the slightest bit knowing that the absurdity of her statement needed no comment, once he made her aware that it was no longer summertime.  
  
"Kay, we're gonna be late. Think of all the jokes we'll avoid if we actually show up on time to class."  
  
"This is true," Kay said pensively. Her face brightened, "Hey, and we might even get to make fun of other people if they come in after us, huh?"  
  
Miguel smirked. "Riiiight." He pulled her towards the door. "Let's get goin' lazy bones."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
They got to the doorway in front of their class a full five minutes early. Kay smirked over her shoulder at Miguel as she entered the classroom. "The elevator is our savior," she commented, "We'd never get to class on time without it."  
  
"Kay Bennett!" a vaguely familiar voice said. "Fancy seeing you here."  
  
Kay turned around to see who's calling her and was startled to find Nicholas Crane seated towards the front of the class. She regained her composure quickly and grins. "Why Nicholas, are you deigning to slum with us undergrads in a class? And how come you're in an anthro course? Aren't you doing Asian studies?"  
  
"Uhhh, Kay?" Miguel attempted to interrupt.  
  
She ignored him as Nicholas answered her questions. "Yes, I am slumming with you guys, but I'm not actually in the course; I'm a TA. I was anthro undergrad, so I'm qualified to handle this course if it's okay with you Ms. Bennett." He smirked.  
  
She smirked right back. "I suppose that's okay, Mr. Crane."  
  
"Hey Kay, could you." Miguel again tried to interject.  
  
Kay snapped her head around, oddly overly perturbed at having her small conversation with Nicholas interrupted. "What, Miguel? Can't you see."  
  
"Yes, I can see," he snapped back, disgruntled at having Kay so distracted by someone else. "I can see that you're blocking the doorway and the professor is right behind me."  
  
Kay immediately turned bright red and sheepishly walked to a seat near Nicholas. Miguel conspicuously sits between the two. Hearing Nicholas chuckle at her as the professor introduces himself, Kay could tell that it was going to be an interesting semester.  
  
Chapter Five  
  
"Man, oh man, I have so much work to do," Kay sighed in Miguel's general direction. It was midterm time and they had both put off their work for much too long.  
  
"Yeah, me too, I can't believe I've put this stuff off for so long," Miguel replies.  
  
They glanced at each other. And started doing the usual math. Kay began, "Well, if you think about it, we've got, what? 30 pages maximum to write, altogether."  
  
Miguel picked up where she left off, "So that's. let's say. 48 hours of work total, right?"  
  
Kay continued, "Right, including research and the occasional nap, I mean, really, it only takes what?... an hour a page."  
  
"Yeah, and I mean, 48 hours is leaving 18 extra for whatever."  
  
"And we've got how many days? A..."  
  
"A whole week!" Miguel finished. They looked at each other and say simultaneously,  
  
"PLENTY of time!"  
  
"So.. Uhh. I'm just gonna put this out there."  
  
"Kay, no! We promised we wouldn't do this. You know we can't."  
  
"I know, I know, what if someone walks in and catches us. blah blah blah," she pouted at him.  
  
"You don't have to look so sad about it, we can play when we finish our work." Miguel attempted to be firm.  
  
"I know, I know. it's just that I really really like." Kay began.  
  
"I know, but Kay, we can't."  
  
Kay noticed that Miguel's resolve was weakened. And moves in for the final blow to his work ethic. "Just for half an hour, I mean, we've allotted all this EXTRA time for the papers." She winked at him and grins seductively.  
  
"You promise, just for half an hour?" Miguel felt his sense of responsibility slowly drifting away at Kay's look.  
  
"Of course!" Kay promised.  
  
"Alright then."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Reese, Miguel's apartment-mate, found them engrossed three hours later when he came into the apartment's backyard and surveyed the sight before him. "Miguel and Kay, this is just disgusting," he smirked.  
  
They both looked guiltily up from the task at hand. "We were just taking a quick break." Kay began to explain.  
  
"Oh no, you forget who you're talking to," Reese said. "I don't know how many times I've caught you guys at this."  
  
"Seriously, it was just a quick break!" Miguel protested. Kay grinned, knowing they'd been caught with the proverbial red-tinted appendages.  
  
"Miguel, give it up. Reese knows we always get caught up practicing this stupid game for hours," she began.  
  
"Hey now," Reese interrupted, "Whatever I might think of your procrastination, there's no reason to call baseball a stupid game. I mean, fine, you should be doing work, but let's not insult art."  
  
"You're the one who said it was disgusting when you came in!" Kay protested.  
  
"No, I said the way you two always talk each other out of work to practice is disgusting. And I think most people would agree."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, we give, we haven't done any work yet," Miguel caved.  
  
"But we're gonna start right now, right Miguel?" Kay said, knowing what was coming.  
  
"Yes we are, dear," Miguel responded. "And you know how I know we're going to start work?"  
  
"How, dear?" Kay returned. "Don't tell me, I already know. Goodnight, Reese, I'm being thrown out once again."  
  
Reese grinned, "It's for your own good, Kay. You're just too distracting. You know my man has no willpower."  
  
"It's true, I'll admit it," Miguel declared. "I fully admit that I just can't resist." Kay grinned expectantly. "baseball," he finished.  
  
Kay whacked him as she moved away from their makeshift diamond to get her jacket off a bench. "You're lucky I love." she said shrugging on her jacket and reaching for the latch to the gate, "baseball so much, or I wouldn't come back here, seeing as how I'm so unwelcome."  
  
Miguel grinned and jumped up, giving her a bone-crushing, all-encompassing bear hug,  
  
"You're always welcome here silly," he yelled into her back. "Just not when there's work to be done."  
  
Kay managed to disentangle herself and opened the gate. "Yeah right. I'll see you tomorrow babes," she called over her shoulder.  
  
"Yup," he cheerfully called after her.  
  
Chapter Six  
  
"Who came up with that stupid 48-hour figure anyway?!" Kay yelled, exhausted from the double all-nighter they were pulling to complete their midterm papers.  
  
"Kay, keep it down," Miguel told her, equally tired himself. "Even if we're on the party floor, this is still the library. And I believe that we both derived that particular number."  
  
"Oh yeah," Kay remembered. "Well, we were stupid. This is stupid. Our Prof's are stupid. This book is stupid. My paper topic is stupid."  
  
"Kay, the stupid rant was cute the first time. The second time, when you exchanged 'stupid' for 'retarded,' it was equally amusing. I wasn't a fan of the 'obnoxious' substitution, but you rebounded well with 'ridiculously irrelevant'. But now, with this stupid rant, take two, you're just being repetitive."  
  
Kay could see Miguel's patience with the all-nighters was wearing as thin as her own. Her sympathy kicked in; he was ever so adorable when tired. "You know what?" She began.  
  
"Oh no, no no no no no. Kay, we CANNOT practice baseball!"  
  
"Ummm. didn't you just remind me that we were in the library?" Kay tried to contain her snort at Miguel's behavior. He resembled a petulant little boy when he was frustrated. She continued, "If you're done spazzing out, I was going to suggest that we take a coffee break from each other and these books." she waved vaguely to the stacks and stacks of books they had amassed, "And meet back here in an hour or so, hopefully in better spirits."  
  
Miguel grinned, "Sounds perfect. Back here in an hour."  
  
"Yup," Kay agreed. That'll give me time to take a quick shower and freshen up so we can get comfortably closer when we reconvene.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
[A little less than an hour later.]  
  
Kay was feeling particularly rejuvenated after the shower and change. She even decided to walk up the stairs as opposed to taking the elevator, as was hers and Miguel's bad habit. As she opened the door to the back stairs, she immediately recognized Miguel's voice in the stairwell above her and began to rush up to see what he was up to. She stopped in her tracks as she listened more closely to what he was saying. ". don't think so. You've got Kay all wrong," he was saying in an amused voice. Kay froze as she heard a voice she recognized respond.  
  
"Whatever man, de-Nile is not just a river in Egypt as far as you are concerned about your 'buddy,'" Reese said, as if "buddy" were a term only Miguel would apply to the relationship.  
  
"Oh come on, Kay does not think we're going out. That'd be ridiculous, we're really good friends, and that's all." Kay silently cheered on her best friend for defending the nature of their relationship.  
  
"Yo," Reese apparently realized the public space they were occupying, "We can talk about this later at the apartment."  
  
Miguel laughed. "No, there's no danger of Kay walking in on this conversation; she never takes the stairs." Kay immediately retracted her previous cheers for Miguel, the bum. She began to storm up the stairs to give the lie to his declaration, and was stopped once again by Miguel's next words. "At any rate, the bottom line is that it's ridiculous, not just because we're good friends, but could you really see Kay and I together? What kind of a couple would that be?" Had she not already been leaning against the rail, Kay would have fallen back into it. She had a flashback of their conversation on the street a few weeks ago.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I was talking about how ridiculous they looked together." Miguel said. " She was a good three inches taller than him and twice his size. You can't tell me you don't think that looked a little strange, that they just don't fit together as a couple."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Floored not only by Miguel's carelessness, but also by the magnitude of her own hurt, Kay began to rush up the stairs to confront the scene head on. As she made her way up, Reese continued.  
  
"Hey now, Miguel, Kay's a looker in her own right, don't get too up yourself with this goofy 'have to look right together' thing." Kay's opinion of Reese shot up. "I'm not saying that it would be a bad thing if you two were together, I'm just saying you shouldn't be in denial about the way Kay feels." And her opinion fell right back down. How dare he tell Miguel how she was feeling? She continued to rush up stairs even as she heard the two men exit the stairwell. She was going to put a stop to this now.  
  
But, for the third time that evening, she was stopped by something she heard.  
  
". Reese is so right about Kay, I mean, everyone knows she's in love with him, and look at the sad way she follows him around all the time." Kay tried desperately to place the voice, but couldn't. She only knew that it was female and extremely catty, in her opinion at any rate. The voice continued. "I mean, did you see the two of them at the cook out at the beginning of the semester? Just pathetic really." And with that, Kay experiences her second flashback of the night, this one even more painful than the first.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kay could barely maintain her composure when she caught sight of Miguel, HER Miguel, with one of their classmates sitting on his lap, slowly rubbing his back. She couldn't help herself, and, acting on instinct, she said, "Miguel, put her down and come play." To her utter embarrassment, he didn't hear her over whatever the woman was busy whispering in his ear. From the corners of her eyes, she took in more smirks from her baseball companions, who obviously had heard her demand. She raised her voice a notch and said, "Miguel, come here for a sec." Still no result, unless even more people turning around to witness her making a spectacle of herself counted. Realizing that she had to get Miguel's attention or look like an even bigger loser-jerk, she yelled, "Miguel! Would you listen to me for a sec?!" Most of the room fell silent as Miguel finally looked in her general direction, and his devotees snickered behind their hands at her.  
  
"Was that you hollering, Kay? What is it, I'm busy" he responded.  
  
Mortified beyond belief, Kay realized what an idiot she was making of herself and weakly replied, "N-n-no- nothing, nothing, umm. never mind."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Kay snapped back to the present, she heard the woman's companion continue. This voice she could definitely place.  
  
". tried to snap her to reality, the poor thing, with a nasty comment about how she can't keep his attention, but she just went over and tried to prove me wrong. Seriously, doesn't she have any other friends? Can't they tell her how pathetic she looks trailing after him like that?"  
  
Kay couldn't take anymore of this stairwell chatter about her. She marched loudly up to where the women were speaking. She looked the woman from the party in the eye and stated, "With enemies like you talking about me behind my back, who needs friends to disillusion them?" Kay then went directly to the restroom to recover. Kay, you knew it was like this, she told herself. You knew it from the beginning. You knew he didn't return your feelings because of that stupid idea of his about couples "fitting" and you knew that once you decided to settle for being his friend, people were going to talk. Kay reminded herself that her homely looks had shaped her personality. Being taller than most women and men, and being less attractive than most women had helped her form a strong personality that was not dependent on the opinions of others. Which is why your current state of distress is ridiculous. It's based entirely on what people think you feel and how people think you act instead of your own reality. Furthermore, Kay reasoned with herself, if Miguel's romantic affection is so based upon physicality, then he doesn't accept you for you and you don't need that anyway. Besides, Kay threw in as an afterthought, the twit shouldn't be talking about you in stairwells anyway. Feeling better after her self-pep talk, Kay walked confidently out of the restroom in search of an unsuspecting Miguel. She found him quickly, still conversing with Reese.  
  
"Hi Reese. Hi Miguel," she said abruptly.  
  
"Uhh, hey Kay, what's goin' on?" replied Reese.  
  
Miguel grinned and said, "I see the coffee has got you perked up and ready to work."  
  
"Actually, it was an illuminating walk in the stairwell that woke me right on up," she interrupted.  
  
Miguel choked on the rest of his sentence as Reese shifted his feet.  
  
"Yes, very eye-opening walk that was," Kay continued.  
  
Miguel recovered first. "So, uh. you must have just come from this walk, then," he asked, quickly calculating that, if that were the case, she would have missed their conversation. He blustered along, "Yup, a quick trot up the stairs will get the circulation going."  
  
Kay wasn't going to make this easy, and she also wasn't one for dragging things out. "Actually, it wasn't the act itself, it was more the interesting conversation I picked up on during the walk up the back stairs. And no, I didn't just finish coming up, I needed a little while to get my bearings after those stairs." Kay looked pointedly at Reese, who had the decency to blush, although Miguel appeared determined to carry on the charade.  
  
"Yeah, three flights would wind anyone, I had to take a break too. Imagine that, we, both being elevator folks, took the stairs tonight."  
  
"Yeah, and who would have imagined that I'd overhear my best friend and his apartment-mate discussing my intentions on said best-friend." Kay, raising her voice, continued on, "And who would have thought that I would have then had the chance to hear two ninnies gossip about how pathetic I am in response to your conversation?! Who would have thought that, Miguel dear?"  
  
"Umm... uhhh, see, Kay, if you heard the whole conversation."  
  
"Oh, I heard plenty." The embarrassment of the night's events came flooding back in on her so that she could barely stand to look at him. "I think it would be best if I continued my work at home. I'll see you around, Miguel." Kay turned to leave.  
  
Miguel called after her, "Wait! Don't you mean, 'see you tomorrow'?"  
  
Kay turned back around to look at him. "No," she shook her head, "I mean see you around."  
  
As she walked away, Kay realized the depth of her dilemma. She would normally turn to her best friend in situations like this, but her best friend was now the problem. But she felt the need to rant at a substitute male figure. On an impulse, remembering how much she enjoyed their first argument at the meeting, Kay punches in Nicholas the TA's number.  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
On an impulse, remembering how much she enjoyed their first argument at the AWARE meeting, Kay punched in Nicholas's number into her cell phone.  
  
"Hello?" Nicholas put down the papers he was reading over. He couldn't imagine who would be calling this late.  
  
"Hello, may I speak to Nicholas, please?" Kay immediately regretted her call, but her self-righteousness kicked in and she couldn't hang up.  
  
"May I ask who's calling please?" Nicholas, realizing that the person calling didn't recognize his voice from his greeting, decided to do a little self-screening.  
  
"Ummm, this is a student in one of his classes?" Kay hated it when her voice made everything a question. She steadied herself, and continued. "This is Kay Bennett from his anthro course. Is Nicholas there?"  
  
All of a sudden, both of them heard the sound of a button being pressed. Nicholas's cheek had pressed a button on his phones keypad. a result of the massive smile that he cracked when he heard her name. "Ooops!" he yelped into the phone. Oh man, Nick, let's settle down he thought to himself. He took a breath and said, "Well, hello, Ms. Bennett, to what do I owe the pleasure of this late night call? Surely someone as intelligent as yourself wouldn't be needing last minute help on the midterm study questions?"  
  
YES! Kay thought, as she realized that all her procrastinating was paying off. She didn't really need help, but she could fake it sense she didn't technically have anything done yet. "Well, Mr. Crane, I realize how late it is, but if you're anywhere near campus, I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee and pick your brain about post-structuralism." Wow, that was bold, Kay. Maybe you should give him an out? "I mean," she continued quickly, "If it's not too late or anything. I could call again tomorrow." Great, now you sound really PRESSED to see him. "I mean, if you have time, we could do it anytime before the take home is due." Dodo! It IS due tomorrow! "I mean, it is due tomorrow, so umm." So maybe you should stop talking, like five minutes ago.  
  
Nicholas laughed. "Kay, it's not too late; I can pick you up and we can go to a place I know that stays open late. I never turn down free coffee."  
  
Kay was greatly relieved that he didn't seem too aware of her obvious state of being flustered. "Oh! That sounds great!" she practically squealed. Oh man, don't be that squealin' type of chick. "I mean, that's cool, do you want to just swing by the library in twenty minutes?"  
  
That's Waaay too far away, Nicholas thought. "How about in ten? Aren't you there now?"  
  
Looks like this Miguel prepping won't be totally wasted, she thought as she looked herself over. "Perfect. See you in a bit."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nicholas parked in a lot seemingly in the middle of nowhere and led Kay around to the front of what appeared to be an abandoned building with a small sign over a door that she would have missed had he not stopped right in front of it. "Haven," it read. She was surprised when Nicholas pulled open the door without it falling off its hinges. They went down a half flight of stairs and stepped into medium-lit room. After her eyes adjusted to the light, Kay saw a room with warm amber sofas spaced regularly, but not too structured, around the space. The sofas were broken apart by low coffee tables and different styles of soft beige chairs. Kay thought the place must be a seating nightmare for the staff, since it was apparent that customers felt free to rearrange their surroundings at will. A deep gold- colored wooden bar lined one side of the room and, on a small stage in a back corner of the room, a Jill Scott melody was being played live on a saxophone and resonated softly throughout the area. It was hard to get a sense of how large the space was because of the seating and ambience, but Kay thought it could probably hold a crowd of 150 easily enough. She mentally made a note of the place for a future get together site of AWARE.  
  
A beautiful woman with locked hair approached them, wearing a flowing, transparent red top with gold flowers stitched along the sleeves over a plain red tank with blue jeans and well-worn brown boots. Kay felt a strange twinge of something when she saw the smile with which Nicholas greeted the woman, as if her subconscious only wanted that smile to be for her.  
  
"Hey babes," Nicholas said to the woman, "How's it goin'?"  
  
"It's going fine, babes," the woman replied. "Only, how about you not address me with such familiarity when you've come up in my spot with such a beautiful woman by your side?" The woman turned her 100-watt smile on Kay. "Hey, chica, what's goin' on? My name's Simone." The woman held out her hand and looked at Kay expectantly.  
  
Women with such confidence and flair often made Kay a bit reserved and stand-offish in self-defense, but something about Simone caused the opposite reaction and she immediately felt at home. "Hey, how are you? I'm Kay Bennett. How do you know Nicholas?"  
  
"Inquisitive, isn't she?" Simone winked at Nicholas. "This guy is forever hangin' out here, buying a cup of coffee and takin' up space for hours."  
  
Kay, feeling the weird need to connect with this woman, enthusiastically picked up the "joke on Nicholas" line. "Oh, what a drag, he must ruin tips for the night." Encouraged, rather than feeling slighted by the familiarity that the two seemed to share, Kay playfully punched Nicholas on the arm for emphasis.  
  
Nicholas snorted. "I don't think Simone minds the loss of tips, seeing as how she owns the joint." He and Simone shared a special look again that made Kay wonder why else Simone wouldn't mind Nicholas hanging around so much. She again shrugged off the feeling, sensing somehow that Simone wasn't a threat to her in anyway. She instead focused on Nicholas's comment.  
  
"Oh wow, excuse me for saying so, but you look really young to be an owner of. well, of anything!" she commented to Simone.  
  
Simone grinned broadly, and her cheerful smile made her look even younger. "We're probably the same age! I'm a student at the University. This joint was actually a first-year business experiment that went awry. in that it totally worked and started making money!"  
  
Kay grinned. Simone's cheerfulness was catching. "That's great! Congrats on your obvious success, I really like the feel of this place!"  
  
"Enough!" Nicholas interrupted. "Before you two start thinking of new ways to tease me, how about you play a real hostess and show us to a sofa, Simone?" Nicholas winked to indicate that he was teasing.  
  
Simone winked back and replied, "Excuse me! Right this way, sir."  
  
Kay was surprised at how comfortable it was to sit beside someone, rather than across from them. Something about Haven's design made her feel like she had indeed stepped into a safe space and should feel nothing but comfort.  
  
"So what did you want to know about post-structuralism?" Nicholas asked after they had gotten settled in.  
  
Unprepared with a question pertaining to the supposed reason for their coffee break, and becoming more aware of the awkward situation she had impulsively thrown herself into, Kay stalled. "Hey, what's with the business first? Let's at least order. Look, here's the waiter."  
  
Nicholas gave her a funny look, but placed his order. Instead of trying to press her to ask a question after their orders were taken care of, he simply looked at her expectantly.  
  
Oh shit. Kay thought. What now? Well, at the very least, stop talking to yourself and talk to him! "So uh. yeah, post-structuralism. I guess I was wondering how to accurately describe a theory that purposefully defies being pinned down."  
  
Nicholas smiled a strange smile at the question, pleased with her insight, and yet slightly puzzled. "Kay, that's a great question. only. you uh, asked the same question in class two weeks ago."  
  
The same thought hit Kay again... Oh shit. Better turn the tables before he figures out exactly how full of it I was when I came up with that phony excuse to get together. "Well, Mr. Crane, it seems as though you pay more attention to what I say than I do. What's up with that?" Kay knew there was nothing to her statement, but at least now the answering was up to him.  
  
Nicholas blushed. He had, in fact, internalized every single comment and question Kay asked in class. It was clear that her leadership of AWARE was not unfounded, she was quite easily one of the brightest students in the class, always interrogating the material, rather than simply memorizing the lecture. Of course, he wasn't quite ready to let Kay know how well-versed he was in her class participation.  
  
"It's only that it was a striking question. But what I remember most is the answer. The Prof told you that you had a good point and that the closest you could come to describing post-structuralism was to talk in terms of trends rather than absolutes." Nicholas was puzzled again as he continued to remember that day. "But you seemed fine with that answer in class, why would you need emergency help with that now." Something else struck Nicholas then. As he peered at her closely, he noticed that Kay didn't look like her usual, confident, self. He knew that she was insecure about certain things, her size most notably as he recalled their first awkward meeting, but that she was always confident in, and even cocky about, her analytical skills. He also noticed something else different. Since that first day in class when they showed up late together, he'd rarely seen Kay without Miguel. Something was definitely up.  
  
Kay saw the realization hit Nicholas, read in his eyes when he realized that she was totally full of it when she'd made up that bogus excuse about needing help to see him. And so she was surprised when his demeanor changed to one of casualness, rather than the brief flicker of intensity she'd seen.  
  
"Well, I suppose my charm has its obvious appeal, thus explaining you calling me for 'help'" Nicholas wiggled his eye brows and made quote signs with his fingers as he said "help." "So, why don't we cut through this charade and talk about what's really important here." Kay had a brief moment of panic, until he continued with a comical smirk, "Me. I'm what's really important. Go ahead, ask me anything. As long as it's to do with me."  
  
Kay couldn't help it, she started laughing. "Why Mr. Crane, I had no idea you were so modest," she said. "Let's see. why don't you tell me where you're from?"  
  
"Here and there," Nicholas replied with a wink.  
  
Kay immediately sense a challenge. "Oh really? Where were you born?"  
  
Nicholas smiled, "It's a sad, sad story really. Quite unfortunate," he said melodramatically as he sighed in obvious angst over the story of his birth. "I was born in Paris while my mother was visiting my aunt."  
  
Kay was confused, but persistent. "Nicholas, what in the world? What's so 'unfortunate' about that?"  
  
Nicholas grinned even more, knowing she was gonna love this punch line. "You see, dear Kay, the location of one's birth doesn't eliminate them from having any occupation on earth. with the exception of one." He paused, waiting for her to realize what he was talking about. "It's one that I have long felt that I was destined for, one suitable to my own greatness. And alas, because I was born in Paris, I will never be able to share this greatness with the world."  
  
Kay's immediate burst of laughter was enough to make everyone around her grin, even though they had no clue what she was laughing about. "You're such a SCHNERD, Nicholas!"  
  
He laughed with her. "You scoff at my dream of being President of the United States?" he said with pretended offense.  
  
"No, I scoff at your presumption that the world is missing out on 'your greatness' just because you'll never be President!" Kay managed through her laughter.  
  
"Well, see if I share anything else with you. Although, I suppose I must. It's bad enough that I can't share this with the world in the proper capacity, I suppose I can continue to share me with you."  
  
Kay willingly jumped back to the questions. "Okay, so you were born in Paris. Must be pretty well-off. And where did you head after that fate- filled entrance into the world?"  
  
Nicholas shrugged. "Back to the sleepy little town where my parents have always lived. You wouldn't know it."  
  
It was Kay's turn to grin. "I know how that goes; I grew up in a small town myself that no one's ever heard of. I always have to say I'm from 'near Boston'."  
  
Nicholas gave her a funny smile. "Hey, that's my 'near' city too! Looks like we were meant to meet and bond over our small-townness."  
  
Kay's grin faltered. Something was beginning to click. Something that didn't bode well for the rest of the evening. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "So, what's the name of your lil' town?" she asked casually. "Since we both use Boston as our 'near' city, maybe I've heard of it."  
  
Nicholas noticed a slight change in her attitude, and also her quick covering of that change. He was at once struck by how attune to her reactions he was, and vice versa. At the same time that he too had a feeling that things were about to make a turn that neither of them really wanted to happen. "What does it matter?" he asked back, imitating her casual tone. His eyes turned serious, and Kay felt drawn into them. "What matters is that we're having a good time together, right now, right?"  
  
And realizing that he was just as anxious and nervous about the entire situation as she was, Kay suddenly realized that the fun they were having was all that mattered. True to her own style, Kay decided to confront the issue head on. "So how'd you manage to avoid the insanity that seems to be a part of being one of The Harmony Cranes?"  
  
Nicholas was pleased that she'd made the connection and was still sitting across from him. He felt something decidedly warm inside as he realized that she had managed to separate him out from the rest of his ridiculously corrupt and psychotic family. Which he immediately attributed to the warm feeling induced by sitting in Haven. "Something about being shipped off to boarding school at a young age makes a body feel a disconnect with his family," he replied casually.  
  
Kay sensed hurt behind his words, but decided not to probe. "I bet," she responded vaguely. And in that vagueness, and with the simple knowledge she seemed to have about his needs at the moment, the warmth Nicholas felt towards her blossomed to something more, something that he couldn't dismiss as a result of the ambiance of Haven. In fact, a small part of his mind noticed that the ambience seemed to cool a fraction, and take on a purplish- blue haze. The rest of his mind, however, was concentrating on the beautiful woman sitting next to him and how much he wanted to express his appreciation for her understanding.  
  
Kay too, felt the internal warmth. She slid closer to Nicholas on the sofa.  
  
"Hey, Simone!" another patron across the room yelled loudly. "What's up with your lights? Forgot to pay the bill?"  
  
The small fraction of Kay's line of sight that wasn't intensely focused on Nicholas noticed a cooling of the ambience as well. The sofa seemed to fade from amber to a soft lavender. Still focused on Nicholas, though, she only murmured, "I hope Simone doesn't lose customers because of the lighting problems." She slid closer to Nicholas.  
  
For his part, he too was wrapped up in Kay, but something about what Kay had just said crept into his awareness. His eyes lost their focus and shifted to the rest of the coffee house. "I better go check and see if Simone needs help," he said and he began to stand up, and move away from Kay.  
  
Almost immediately, however, the lighting switched back, and the ambers and golds regained their color. Nicholas shrugged and returned his attention back to Kay, who had never lost her focus on Nicholas. As he reached for her hand, the lighting in Haven again went cold, and the furniture and fixtures again took on a blue tinge. This time, they both snapped out of the spell they were casting on each other and looked around. As they shifted apart, the lighting once again returned to normal, and Simone ran over to the stage to get the microphone.  
  
"I am so sorry about the lighting problems tonight, everyone," she began. Kay knew how well-liked Simone was, however, because all around she heard cheerful phrases of encouragement and easy forgiveness. Simone continued, "To make up for the problem, you can pay whatever you feel is reasonable for your coffee and service tonight, even if it's nothing at all!" Simone smiled and stepped off stage to cheers.  
  
Nicholas turned to Kay and said, "What a business woman. Instead of saying everything was free and losing an awful lot of money tonight, everyone is going to pay full price, and maybe more because they like her so much."  
  
Kay smiled in admiration of Simone's savvy. "That's so true!" she said. Something about the lighting problem was nagging her, but she couldn't place her hand on it, so she decided to call it a night. She was suddenly exhausted from the turmoil of the evening/night's events.  
  
"Well, Nicholas, it was a great evening, thanks for introducing me to this place, but maybe we should head home."  
  
He saw her fatigue and agreed. "Sure thing. Let's settle our tab and go.  
  
Kay paid at the bar as promised and left a little extra to show Simone how much she loved hanging out at Haven. She promised to tell folks about it, at the same time that she had the sudden thought that she would never bring Miguel to this place, even if they ever recovered from the situation they were in. It would be her "haven" from him and all the insecurity he produced in her.  
  
Nicholas casually draped his arm around Kay's shoulder as they walked to his car behind the building. Kay unconsciously snaked her arm around his back. It felt good to be close to someone without all the tension that she felt around Miguel sometimes. Nicholas seemed like he was going to be a great friend and she was glad her impulsiveness hadn't led her astray.  
  
As Nicholas pulled up to campus fifteen minutes later, he looked over at Kay. Suddenly, he didn't want the evening to be over.  
  
Kay turned to him from her thoughts of Miguel and their confrontation and was about to thank him for hanging out when she caught the intensity in his gaze. Confused, she started to say, "Is there."  
  
Nicholas interrupted her without thinking. "Kay, this can't be the end of the evening. You didn't call me to talk about post-structuralism. You didn't call me to listen to my life story, either." He paused, thinking about how to approach the topic. Then, he remembered Kay's own straightforwardness and decided to use the same strategy. "Kay, something is wrong and I want you to tell me what it is, or else, I wouldn't feel comfortable just dropping you off and going home."  
  
Kay felt a reflex protest forming on her lips. She stopped as she saw real concern in his eyes. She met his directness with some of her own. "Okay. I'll tell you. But not here in the car.and I live in a dorm."  
  
Nicholas understood immediately. He started up the car and shot a quick grin her way. "I guess you'll have to come and see the pad.. It's four in the morning, and even Simone has to sleep sometime."  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
"Well, this is it." Nicholas was surprised at how nervous he was to have Kay come into his home, his space. He was anxious to hear what she'd think. He looked over at her and was relieved to see that she was grinning.  
  
Kay's eyes scanned the medium-sized studio apartment. He flaunted traditional standards of "masculine" decorating by having light wood tables with curved edges accenting a softly upholstered burgundy sofa and loveseat set. His desk, too, was light in color, and full of soft, almost art nouveau-like curves and contours. His bed, dining area and kitchen likewise matched the rest of the décor. The ceilings of the apartment were vaulted, almost cathedral style, and he had taped little phrases of inspiration and food for thought to the edges of the semi-arches.  
  
Nicholas enjoyed her perusal of his place. His friends, especially his guy friends, always teased him about the "feminine" feel to his place. He wondered if Kay understood why he chose such décor, other than the fact that he really was a fan of the simple beauty and curve of art nouveau.  
  
Kay finished her inspection of the place and turned to him. "You know, my dorm room is done in the almost exact opposite style as this place, and everyone always tells me it looks like a dude lives there." She paused thoughtfully. "Don't tell me you chose this stuff to make a statement about assigning gender to décor like I did."  
  
He grinned that special grin of his. "Okay, I won't tell you that. But it'd be a lie by omission." He gently pushed her farther into the studio, towards the dining area. "Have a seat and I'll heat up some water for tea. Is mint okay?" he asked.  
  
"That's perfect." As Kay sat down, she realized once again that she was going to have to explain herself to Nicholas. As he put the mug of hot tea in front of her along with some honey and a spoon, she breathed in deeply the scent of mint and willed herself to be calm.  
  
Nicholas say down from her, without saying a word and waited for Kay to begin.  
  
And she did. "Well, Miguel and I have been best friends since either of us can remember. But when we got to college, I started wanting something more."  
  
And for the next couple of hours, Nicholas relived Kay and Miguel's friendship in college. His complete obliviousness to her feelings, her inability to convince herself that they will always be just friends; his superficiality, her depth. When they had each finished three cups of tea, they moved from sitting at the table to the sofa. As she grew engrossed in her story, and fatigued at the same time, Kay gradually leaned over on the sofa, until she was lying looking into the ceiling with her head on Nicholas' lap. When she finished talking, she turned her head slightly to see if she'd put Nicholas to sleep with her long tale.  
  
Nicholas smiled softly down at Kay, as she looked up at him, eyes searching, and he casually tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. He wasn't sure what to say to her, so he just met her gaze and let her see in his eyes all the thoughts flying around in his head. Anger at Miguel for being able to reach through the strength that Kay exuded to destroy slowly little bits of her self-conception. Anger at Kay for allowing someone to whittle away at that strength. Jealousy at the history that Miguel and Kay shared. Helplessness at being unable to erase Kay's feelings for Miguel away, leaving him with only his Kay, the Kay who in one strange night had made him. Well, he wasn't about to take that leap yet.  
  
In his silence, in his eyes, Kay read all these things. Because of the extreme emotions she had been feeling all day and night and now morning, because she was tired, and because of the inability to comprehend the depth of empathy she saw in Nicholas' eyes, Kay began to cry. Not wracking sobs, but slow, steady tears that fell from her face onto his lap.  
  
Nicholas quickly, but gently shifted their position on the sofa so that instead of her head resting on his lap, her entire body was leaning into his support. She continued crying, still without sound, overwhelmed by the night and the comfort he provided. Nicholas closed his eyes and held her, determined to hold on to this incredible woman as long as she would let him.  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
Nicholas woke up the next day and immediately, the events of the night before were at the forefront of his mind... mostly because Kay was still tucked snuggly in his embrace. During the course of the night, they'd both slid down in the chair, so that they were now lying down face to face in the soft burgundy material of his sofa. He was careful not to move, so that he could take advantage of her sleeping state to carefully inspect her.  
  
He saw tear stains still on her face, a sign that she'd cried herself to sleep. And yet, the quiet (well, not always quiet) strength with which Kay confronted the world head on was also apparent in her visage, he read there a determination to meet this newest challenge and to beat it.  
  
Over the course of the night, their hands had become intertwined, and, because of her height and size, their legs were also interlocked. He watched as she stirred, afraid his opportunity to watch her was over, and almost jarred her awake himself as the sound of a snore startled him through the silence. Nicholas began to chuckle to himself as he pulled her closer. She rested her head on his shoulder, and wrapped her arms around him, causing their fingers to break apart, but their sleepy embrace to become tighter.  
  
Suddenly, the silence was pierced by the ringing of a phone, and without thinking, Nicholas carefully reached across Kay and grabbed her cell phone off the top of her bag that was lying on the floor in front of the sofa. "Hello." he began.  
  
And was immediately interrupted with, "Kay, don't say anything, I know you might still be feeling a little prickly about last night but I really think that we can work. Wait, are you okay, you sound a little strange."  
  
Nicholas knew exactly with whom he was speaking and he couldn't resist picking with the guy. He said quietly into the phone, "I'm sorry, Kay is sleeping right now, may I take a message?"  
  
Miguel thought the voice at the other end of the phone sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it. He did know that he didn't appreciate some schmuck answering his Kay's cell phone and asking HIM if he could take a message. "Who the hell is this? No, you can't take a message; it's noon, and she should be awake. I want to speak with Kay now, put her on the phone."  
  
Nicholas felt himself tense up at the tone Miguel was taking with him. "Listen, Miguel, Kay's had a very rough night and if she needs to sleep until noon tomorrow, I'm not going to wake her up so that you can stress her out more." Nicholas winced as he saw Kay beginning to blink out of sleep. He lowered his voice, "Now, is there a message you'd like to leave?"  
  
Miguel's temper shot up as he responded, "You've got some nerve, whoever you are, answering Kay's phone and acting like you're her personal voice mail. And how do you know who I am? You've got ten seconds to put Kay on the phone or I'm going to."  
  
As Miguel ranted into the phone, Nicholas instinctively moved it away from his ear. Kay woke up with a start, her bright blue eyes piercing Nicholas'. "Miguel?" She questioned, looking around for the source of her best friend's voice. She saw the cell phone and grabbed it from Nicholas. "Miguel, what are you yelling about?" she asked groggily. "What's the matter with you?"  
  
"Kay! Who's the dipshit who answered the phone? Why wouldn't he let me talk to you? Why are you sleeping at some strange man's place? I called your room all night. What's going."  
  
"Oh stuff it, Miguel," Kay interrupted him. "I'm not at some strange man's; I'm at Nicholas' and why the hell would you call me all night? Don't you think you've said enough to me already? Who do you think you are?"  
  
Nicholas tried desperately not to grin as he listened to Kay give Miguel hell. He realized that his fears that she'd run back to him and into the sickness of their current friendship again were unfounded. He listened as she continued, snuggling closer to her and closing his eyes contentedly, as if she were telling him a bedtime story.  
  
Miguel, for his part, was astonished at the venom her heard in her voice. He was convinced that this Nicholas character was poisoning her mind against him. But he also knew that an angry Kay was an uncooperative Kay. "Kay, stop!" he interrupted her. "Listen, I don't know why you're at the TA's place right now, but I just wanted to talk to you and see if we can discuss this in person. Things ended so badly last night that I couldn't sleep and I'd like for us to try to work this out so we can go back to the way things were before."  
  
His calm tone brought Kay's temper back down to earth. Suddenly, she wasn't angry anymore, just tired of him. The hours she'd spent with Nicholas, although they had solved nothing specifically about her problems with Miguel, had helped her realize that she didn't have to run to him at every turn. The safety that she felt with Nicholas, the security that she wanted desperately to hold onto that she'd had since she'd stepped into Haven were all that she needed right now. "Miguel," she began slowly, "I've been uncomfortable in our friendship for awhile now, last night just made it shockingly apparent to both of us." She paused as she realized what had to be said and though how to frame it. "I think that I need a break from us, from the friendship, from you, right now. When I'm around you and there are these things that I feel, I lose a part of me to you, and I really want to work on recovering that."  
  
Miguel couldn't believe his ears. "You're saying that being around me makes you somehow less than what you are? I don't get it Kay, we've always been the perfect compliment to one another; I don't know why this has to change."  
  
"Miguel, things change as people do. I know that we'll always be friends, but until I can figure out how to make this change work for me and for both of us, I know, and you must know, that we need some time apart."  
  
And slowly, Miguel realized that she was right. If Kay's feelings were conflicting with the established parameters of the friendship, then something had to give at some point. At the same time, he wasn't sure how he'd ever deal with the immense sense of loss that he felt right now. "Kay, I." his voice faltered. He cleared his throat and continued, "I understand. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do without."  
  
Kay gently interrupted him. "But that's part of the problem, right? You're already focused on you and how you'll be losing out. You need to think about how I feel so that things like last night won't ever happen again. And I need time to figure out to what extent Reese was right. I don't know what you're going to do," she paused as Nicholas opened his eyes and looked straight into her eyes, into her. She smiled and continued, "But I think it's time that we both explored possibilities that our friendship kept us from." She broke the connection.  
  
"Wow," Nicholas said. "Kay, you have spent the last day, evening, night, whatever, amazing me."  
  
Her smile widened and she said, "You're pretty amazing yourself. I can't think of many TA's who would put up with students calling so late, then having emotional break downs."  
  
Nicholas interrupted her, his gaze turning serious. "Kay, you must know that we've moved well beyond the student/TA thing, right? This isn't some pity party. I."  
  
It was her turn to interrupt him, "Oh hush, Nicholas, I would hope that this isn't your MO with all the students.." Her eyes twinkled. "I might get jealous."  
  
"Oh really?" Nicholas responded. "And just."  
  
"Just hush and." Kay started.  
  
Nicholas decided that both of them needed to "just hush and." and so he leaned over and gently pressed his lips to hers.  
  
Electricity crackled through both of them and Kay slipped onto the floor at the force of the encounter. She started to quip, "I've heard of fireworks but." and stopped when she realized that something was extremely different about the room and their surroundings. "Nicholas, do you see."  
  
Nicholas didn't know what Kay was talking about, but he knew he wanted more of whatever he'd just experienced, and that he wanted it now. He reached down, helped Kay stand up, never breaking eye contact, and stood in front of her. Her height meant that they were perfectly aligned with each other. He leaned towards her, and their lips connected again.  
  
Blue heat seared through them both as they held onto each other desperately.  
  
"I don't think I can ever let her go," thought Nicholas.  
  
"I don't think I want you to ever let me go," came her answering thought.  
  
As his hands roamed over her back and he felt her hands do the same, Nicholas continued to respond to what he was feeling through his thoughts. "I won't let you go, Kay Bennett."  
  
"Is that a promise, Nicholas Crane?" Again, her answering thought seared through him along the bands of blue flames that he felt lick through his body at her touch.  
  
His eyes opened to meet hers in shock, although they never broke the connection that their lips, their hands, their bodies, their souls were forming. She met his gaze and allowed him into her mind. He responded instinctively by letting her into his own. Now, they were both experiencing the pleasure of the other, and their own pleasure through the other.  
  
He saw in her eyes and felt in his soul the moment the intense blue heat became too much for her, too much for him. They broke apart.  
  
And stumbled down to the floor. They looked at each other from sitting positions on his floor, attempting to cope with the state of being separated after such an intense connection, trying to get used to being two instead of one. Nicholas spoke just seconds before Kay did.  
  
"Did you really."  
  
"Did you FEEL that?!" she exclaimed.  
  
Nicholas' sharp wit kicked in to cover the sense of loss he felt. "No, I missed being semi-electrocuted and flung into someone else's thoughts, not to mention the whole floating five feet in the air thing."  
  
Kay was somehow hurt as his flippant dismissal of what had happened. "Nicholas, it wasn't just that, the entire room went crazy. I would have sworn that your furniture started glowing."  
  
"Kay, I saw all of that, I just need a minute to think, okay? Let's just sit for a minute and think." Nicholas was desperately trying to hold it together. He thought Kay was special and all, but nothing like this had ever happened to him. And he wasn't sure that he was ready for what it might meant.  
  
Kay's mind was whirling as well, but for a very different reason. A story her mom told her as a child was swirling through her mind. She tried to bring it into focus. Something about a young woman in flames. an intense blue light beating back the flames like a flood of water. a man.he jumped through the flames, and it was as if the blue light were protecting him. protecting the woman. and the man saved the woman. Kay had always thought that was her mom's old fashioned way of telling her the story of how her parents met without traumatizing her. Her mom, Grace, had always said it was the blue light and the calm that it produced that let her know that she and Sam, Kay's father, were meant to be. With sudden clarity, she realized that the story wasn't a story at all, but an accurate account of what had happened. If that were true.  
  
Kay looked into Nicholas's eyes. "I want to tell you about a story my mom used to tell my sister and I about how she and my father met. My mom used to say that it was the first day of the rest of her life, which should be taken literally, since she doesn't remember anything before that. She remembers being trapped in a burning building, feeling as though she were going to die. And my father was a firefighter at the time. No one thought that he would get to her in time; she was on the third floor, trapped between a wall of flames in front and fallen timbers behind her. But he had to try. When he got to the wall of flames, he said it was like God's grace from above hit him and he felt this calm fall over the space, despite the raging fire. My mom, too, remembers the blue. She says it drowned out the significance of the fire's heat, this all encompassing and total blue heat that now engulfed them. My dad jumped through the flames and brought her out. Neither of them were hurt. They decided that my mother's new name would be Grace to honor the grace of God that saved them both. I always thought it was a strange story. Come to think of it, when we were younger, Jessica, my sister, and I never teased each other about having crushes, we used to call it feeling blue. Mom always told us that we'd know our true love by feeling blue, but we didn't believe her because neither of us ever felt it before." She faded as she realized that Nicholas had gone stiff during the course of her story.  
  
"Nicholas, what are you thinking?"  
  
"I'm thinking I'm not ready for this," he said without thinking. "This is too much, we just met, just started getting to know each other, you're talking about falling in 'blue' and stuff." he was muttering out loud and something in the back of his head said he should keep his mouth shut for a bit instead of thinking out loud, but he kept going. ". just trying to be friendly and comfort you and now there's all this. blue. this crazy blue."  
  
Kay abruptly stood up. She was a strong person but not even she could take two heartbreaking experiences in the space of two days. "Nicholas, maybe we need a little time to. uh. think about um. all of uh. this. Give me a call when or if you want."  
  
Nicholas, still wrapped up in the complexities of his feelings about the matter and trying to interpret her story, barely noticed that she'd left. He sat staring at the door as she closed it, thinking about the impossible events of the evening.  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
Two weeks later.  
  
Kay was walking through campus on her way to class, her spirits mellow and calm. It had taken her awhile to process the crazy events of that 24 hour period in her life, but she had. Despite her new found feelings for Nicholas, and their obvious intensity, Kay had decided that she needed a break from men altogether. She had rushed into things with Nicholas and had been burned just as much as she had by taking things painstakingly slow with Miguel. She needed to be alone for awhile.  
  
She smiled, her decision bringing her peace of mind. She looked around her campus and saw that the snow laying on the ground reflected the sun beautifully onto all of its gothic style buildings. .And suddenly she felt the familiar sense of disorientation as the world inverted around her. She smirked as she felt the numbing pain in her shoulder and ankle.  
  
She didn't see anyone around, but she said the obligatory, "Shoot!" and began to assess the damage. This time, she was pretty sure that she had done a bit of damage to her ankle. That snow covered a hard layer of ice and wasn't so cute anymore now that she was up close and personal with it. She tried to shift her weight to stand and was surprised when everything seemed to work properly. Until she went to put weight on her ankle and pain ripped up her leg. Mortified, she realized that she wasn't going to be able to get up on her own.  
  
"Kay!" a voice called from behind her. "Kay, are you alright?" Kay squinted up into the sun and saw Simone looking down at her. Stunning as always, Simone was decked out in a bright blue loose fitting shirt with impossibly tight white pants.  
  
Kay grinned up at her. "Well, besides being blinded by the snow and that shirt you're wearing, I'm peachy."  
  
Simone lightly kicked Kay in the side with her chunky white boots and bent over to help Kay stand. With the help of Simone's shoulder, Kay was able to stand up to her full height.  
  
"Where do you live?" Simone asked her, looking vaguely around the campus.  
  
"Umm, just over there in that dorm building. If you could just help me get over there."  
  
Simone grinned at her and started leading her in the opposite direction. "Oh, I was asking for future reference. Since you're clearly not going to class now, what with being an invalid and all, you might as well hang out with me for a bit. I've gotta get some stuff for my new apartment."  
  
Kay hobbled along beside her. She was about to protest, but remembered that she'd sworn off guys. If hanging out with Simone didn't help her get perspective and start making new friends, nothing would. She grinned back at Simone and responded, "Not that I have a choice in the matter, but that sounds like a plan to me."  
  
"Cool, I just need to pick up a friend and then we'll head to the store."  
  
"Oh, who's your friend?" Kay asked idly as they slowly made their way to Simone's car.  
  
"Oh, maybe you know her, she's our year, her name is Charity."  
  
Kay winced internally. "Umm, yeah, I went to a birthday cook-out for her I think."  
  
Simone looked at her, sensing something was up. "Are you alright?"  
  
Don't blow this, Kay thought to herself. If it means hanging out with Simone, you could put up with Charity for a bit. It's not like you even have a real problem with her. If Miguel wants to hang all over her, so be it, you're getting over him. "Oh, I'm fine; I just leaned a little too hard on my ankle."  
  
"Well, here's my car, so there'll be no danger of that happening again." Simone led her to the front passenger seat. As they got into the car and pulled off, Simone thought of something. "Oh wait, you can't walk! How're you going to get around the store?!"  
  
Kay grinned, having already thought of that. "Well, I could."  
  
Simone interrupted her, "Oh, you could just ride in one of those electronic cart thingies. I've always wanted to point and laugh at one of my friends in one of those things."  
  
Kay smirked at Simone. "Well, I was going to suggest the same thing, only I was going to say I've always wanted to ride in one of them."  
  
Simone winked at her. "Riiight. You know it's your dream to have me point and laugh at you in one of those things." She pulled to the curb and whipped out her cell phone. "Charity!" she yelled into it, holding it awkwardly. "Charity! Can you hear me?! I'm down here in front of your place!!"  
  
Kay winced and involuntarily covered her ears as she wondered when this Charity chick had gone deaf to require all that yelling. When she heard the yelled reply from Simone's cell phone, she couldn't help but laughing.  
  
"SIMONE!" came Charity's voice. "SIMONE, IT'S A CELL PHONE NOT A BULLHORN. STOP YELLING INTO THE THING!!! I can hear you!"  
  
Simone looked sheepish. "Oh yeah. Well, I'm here chick so get down here." She clicked the phone off after a brief search for the off button and looked over at Kay. "I hate that damned thing, but it saves tons of energy. Can you imagine when people actually had to leave their car to get a friend?" She and Kay gave snorts of laughter together.  
  
After a few minutes, Charity bounded down the steps of her building and hopped into the backseat of the car behind Simone. "Hey Simone!" she chirped. Kay struggled to keep from rolling her eyes. She couldn't imagine how someone got that much pep into two words. Kay grinned when she noticed that Simone didn't even bother trying to mask her eye roll. Kay was slightly impressed when Charity lightly popped Simone on the head. At least the girl had spunk and the ability to laugh at herself.  
  
Charity turned her blue eyes to Kay. "Hey there, you're Kay right?"  
  
Kay found herself smiling at Charity in spite of herself. "That's me. How's it goin'?"  
  
"It's goin. If this girl in front of me would stop rolling her eyes and focus on the road." Charity smiled so sweetly that if Kay hadn't been paying attention to the words, she would have sworn that Charity had just paid someone a compliment.  
  
"Hey now, this ain't Drivin' Miss Daisy, you chill out and I'll do what I like up here." Simone stuck her tongue out at Charity as punctuation using the rearview mirror.  
  
The banter continued until they got to the store and Simone and Charity hopped out of the car. Simone walked away from the car towards the cart dispenser to get Kay transportation. "Charity, can you help Kay out of the car while I get her one of these things? She had a lil mishap and is a little incapacitated."  
  
"Sure thing. Just try not to break the dispenser; we know how bad you are with technology." Simone ran quickly back to the car, whacked Charity on the arm, and bounded away again. Charity walked to Kay's side of the car.  
  
"Here, take my arm." Charity began.  
  
As Kay gripped Charity's arm for support, it seemed as if the sun's light flashed intensely for a second and a blinding blue heat seared through Kay's hand, into her arm, and through her body until it hit her ankle. And, although somewhat shakily, Kay stood up without effort, all the pain gone from her ankle.  
  
Charity looked into Kay's eyes and said calmly, "We need to talk, but not here, and not now. Simone knows about this, but we can't talk in public. We'll shop like normal and talk when we get back to Simone's."  
  
Kay, stunned by her miraculous recovery already, was thrown completely off balance by Charity's little speech and sat down hard back into the car.  
  
"Kay?" Charity was unsure of how to proceed. She had no clue how much Kay knew about what had just happened and didn't want to frighten her. "Kay, are you alright?"  
  
"Charity, you just healed my ankle! I feel better, but I'm damn far from alright!!"  
  
Charity grimaced internally, but kept her face expressionless. I guess she doesn't know much, Charity thought to herself. "Kay, I promise, I can explain this. well, mostly I think. But it's nothing to worry about. Let's just finish here and get back to Simone's. I promise, I'll explain everything," she said again.  
  
Kay, beginning to realize that her life was just never gonna be the happily interrogative existence that she longed for, nodded numbly and followed Charity to the store. Simone briefly attempted to ask about Kay not needing the motorized wheelchair, but Charity shushed her with an intense look.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Dude man, what's going on?" Simone asked the minute they had brought all of the bags into her apartment.  
  
Kay looked at Charity, indicating that she was the only person who had a clue what was going on.  
  
Charity, for her part, looked slightly nervous, but strangely excited. She told them both to have a seat and started pacing around, wringing her hands. "Okay," she jumped right in. "Kay, have you ever seen or felt that blue heat before?"  
  
Kay turned bright red, remembering that night a couple of weeks ago. But, that was with Nicholas. Kay was a pretty liberal woman, but she was pretty sure that she wasn't in love with Charity. She decided, once again true to her nature, to lay all her cards out on the table and see what happened. She told Charity and Simone the events of that night in detail.  
  
At the end, Simone jumped up and shouted, "That's why that fool has been acting so retarded. Man, Kay, you sure did a number on him." Simone started grinning now that her worry over Nicholas's state could fade with this new information. "Oh dude man, I'm gonna rag on him to no end about this."  
  
Simone's grin only widened at Kay's look of panic. She loved stirring things up a bit. Besides, her long time friend and supporter would suit this new friend of hers just fine. A glance at Charity, though, told her that there were more somber and important matters to discuss for the time being. But she filed away plans for Nicholas and Kay for later.  
  
Charity, for her part, had turned even paler as she ran the details of Kay's story through her mind. Something about a young woman in flames. Flames. Her mother had always been afraid of real fire, which Charity thought ironic, given the blue heat all the women of her family shared. Charity had always understood this fear, however, since Faith, her mother, had lost her twin sister to fire.  
  
Kay and Simone were both worried by the shock apparent on Charity's delicate visage. Simone was the first to break the silence. "Charity, what's the matter, I thought you already knew about this stuff? Doesn't this just mean that you and Kay are related somehow?"  
  
Kay looked at Simone in shock. "You knew about this. this. this blue thing? It runs in her family?" Slowly, Kay began to piece together the puzzle in her mind. "So, it must not be only love that triggers it, but family contact, right?" she muttered more to herself. "So this is great news." she continued as she whipped around to face Simone. "My mother's had amnesia since before I was born; this means I might finally have found some of my family!" Kay turned to face Charity now, her face shining. "Charity, we could be distant cousins or something!"  
  
Charity slowly came out of her daze as the color returned to her cheeks. "Kay." she began. "Kay, we're not distant cousins."  
  
"I mean, okay, maybe not, but how else would you explain this?" Kay was inexplicably hurt to hear Charity deny their relationship. She had always valued family above all else and it didn't seem as though Charity was willing to share hers, despite this extraordinary proof of their relation.  
  
"Kay, let me finish," Charity said, her voice stronger now and a matching grin growing across her face. "Kay, we're not distant cousins. We're first cousins."  
  
Chapter Eleven  
  
"Kay, let me finish," Charity said, her voice stronger now and a matching grin growing across her face. "Kay, we're not distant cousins. We're first cousins."  
  
"I don't understand," Kay sputtered. "How could you possibly know that?"  
  
Charity smiled sadly and replied, "I know the beginning to your mother's story about the blue heat that helped defeat the real fire."  
  
Simone, realizing something heavy was about to go down, slipped out to Haven and left the two women alone.  
  
Kay and Charity sat down on a sofa as Charity told her story.  
  
"The women in my family have always wielded the power of blue, as we call it. The contradiction that it embodies, a blue heat derived from a warm and true love, is symbolic of the true power that it holds, to contradict the opposite of love, in all its forms. You and I touching healed your ankle because pain is the opposite of the joy that is a part of love. The blue light that engulfs rooms when two of our family members touch or one of us comes into contact with our true love, is a reflection of this blue heat, that cools and soothes, even as it burns the wielder."  
  
Simone burst into the room carrying a cup holder with three tall containers. "Milkshakes all around," she announced. She promptly took a seat across the room from the two cousins and started slurping happily away on her shake. Kay reached over to grab one for herself and began sipping on it quite a bit softer than Simone. Charity simply placed on in front of herself on the coffee table and continued her story.  
  
"My mom, her name's Faith, used to live with her twin sister Grace in an apartment when they were undergrads at the local theological seminary. Mom stepped out one day for matches to light their gas stove. She must have left the gas turned on, because later she was told that it appeared that the heat from her sister's iron had caught the gas and the apartment went up in flames. By the time Faith got back from the store, the apartment had burned to the ground. The old woman next door who used to look out for my mom and her sister told her that Grace had died in the fire."  
  
"But that's not true!" Kay shouted. "My mother didn't die, she was rescued; no one could find anyone who knew who she was. How could Faith have abandoned her sister?"  
  
"Kay, I don't understand what could have happened; our mother's will have to sort this out on their own." Charity began.  
  
"But how?" Kay understood now, what had happened, but she felt cheated. She wanted to understand how her mother could have so easily lost half her family. "How will we ever know?"  
  
Charity smiled again, remembering that, despite the horrible circumstances that had separated the family, the potential that they could tap into now that they were reunited. "Kay, if we could heal your ankle with a simple touch, and you weren't even aware of the nature of your blue, can you imagine what the blue of two twin sisters who understand their potential could do? Grace's. I mean, Aunt Grace's amnesia can be taken care of just as easily."  
  
Kay sat back as she let the evening's news soak in. She took a long, powerful slurp from her milkshake straw, just as Charity and Simone did the same.  
  
Simone looked up and grinned. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about." she said, pleased with recent developments beyond belief. She had picked up on the tension between the two women the moment she'd mentioned Charity's name to Kay earlier that day. Now it seemed as though that would be put to rest. "Hey, you two," she said thoughtfully. "You know, my back has been KILLING me recently, think you could lay a lil of that blue on me?" She wiggled her eyebrows at them both.  
  
Kay grinned back. "Simone, your shirt is blue enough to handle that on its own." She stuck her tongue out at Simone's pout. "But I suppose a little of our special blue couldn't hurt."  
  
Chapter Twelve  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kay, Charity, and Simone took a short road trip back to Harmony, picking up Faith on the way in Boston. The two families reunited and celebrated and tested their powers. Faith and her husband David decided to relocate to Harmony and commute to Boston for work so that they could spend more time getting to know the Bennett half of their family. After a few days, however, the college women had to return to campus. Blue couldn't help them pass classes that they skipped too often, after all.  
  
Three weeks later.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"HEY KAY!" yelled Simone into her cell phone. "It's CHICA'S NIGHT! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE READY?"  
  
Kay held her phone away from her ears and winced as usual. "SIMONE, STOP YELLING INTO THE PHONE!" She continued at a lower decibel level, "I can't understand a word you say when you yell like that."  
  
Simone grinned at Charity who was sitting next to her in her car. She whispered at Charity, "Kay still thinks I can't use a cell phone. She doesn't know I yell into it strictly to piss her off these days."  
  
"I HEARD THAT!" yelled Kay. "Simone Russell, you oughta be ashamed of yourself." Kay grinned at her friend's audacity in spite of herself. "I'm on my way down the stairs now. Lata chica!" Kay had dressed in the mandatory uniform of chicas' night - funky jeans with a bright blue t- shirt. The three friends had instituted this night to commemorate that night a few weeks ago when Charity and Kay had realized their familial relationship, and to celebrate the friendship the three women had forged because of that. As she bounded down the last few steps, Kay had a brief moment to herself to reflect upon the recent turn for the better in her life. She had not only found the space she needed to discover an entirely new part of herself, but she'd done so without Miguel and without Nicholas. As images of the two men flickered through her mind, she gently shoved them back as she prepared to dive into ladies night.  
  
"Let's get a move on, chicas," Kay said as she hopped into the backseat of Simone's car. "I don't know what took you guys so long anyway," she grinned innocently, knowing full well they'd waited for her for at least 15 minutes.  
  
She was awarded a whack from Charity and Simone stuck her tongue out at her as she pulled off towards Haven for milkshakes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Let's do something different tonight, chicas," said Simone with a sneaky grin.  
  
"Uh-oh," groaned Kay and Charity. "What craziness do you have in mind now?"  
  
Simone's sneaky grin always meant something fun. something insane, but something fun.  
  
"There's this great new spot next door." she began.  
  
Kay snorted. "Simone, you own this place, why would you have us go next door to a competitor when we can hang here?"  
  
"And for free, might I add," interjected Charity.  
  
"You guys, I'm not above flippin' the script every now and then, even if it does mean helping out the competition a little."  
  
"RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT," said Kay and Charity at the same time.  
  
"Come on, Simone, give it up, what are you gonna have us doing tonight?"  
  
Simone's grin got even wickeder. "Oh, you'll just love it, come on, let's go!" She dragged her friends out of their private room in the back of Haven and pulled them into the street and down the block. She shot a quick glance over her shoulder, catching a glimpse through the tatters of her off the shoulder blue t-shirt of someone slipping out of Haven behind them. "Mmmmmhmmmm." she thought. "This IS gonna be interesting."  
  
Half an hour later.  
  
"You see I'm searchin' for a real love and I don't know where to go!" bellowed Kay.  
  
"I've been around the world and high and low; it seems I'll never know!" shouted Charity in response.  
  
"How it feels to have a real love 'cuz it seems there's none around!" Simone finished Charity's line.  
  
"I've gotta end it in this way, since he can't be found!" Kay embellished this line as Charity and Simone jumped in.  
  
"Real Love! I'm searchin' for a real love. Someone to set my heart free, real love! I-iiiiiiiii'm searchin' for a real love!"  
  
They all dropped their voices. "Got to have a real love." and burst into giggles.  
  
"Ladies, ladies," came a disembodied voice, "That's the third song you've ended on giggles. As. er. lovely. ehem. as your voices are, could you please. PLEASE call it a night?"  
  
"We can take a hint!" Kay shouted into the microphone she was holding. "Y'all ain't ready for us yet, I see how it is."  
  
With that, she, Charity, and Simone laughed their ways to their table at the karaoke bar. Charity turned to Simone and admitted, "This has been, by far, the best idea you've ever had."  
  
Kay snorted, "You mean singing 'Real Love' by Mary J. or coming to this bar?"  
  
Simone whacked Kay lightly, and grinned at both of them. "I know, BOTH ideas were some of my best yet." She paused for effect. "And apparently, those guys over there think so too." She nodded her head in the direction of three guys who were sending not so covert looks their way. She looks more closely at one of them, who's making no attempt to hide his ogling. "And that one right there sure has it bad for you Kay."  
  
Charity looked in the direction Simone was indicating and added, "Oh man, and he's the hottest one over there. Wait a sec, he looks really familiar."  
  
High on the joys of bonding with the chica's, Kay began flippantly, "I'm sure he's not all tha.oh SHIT!" she ended abruptly.  
  
Charity and Simone gave her surprised looks. "I mean, damn, he's not THAT fine," Simone began.  
  
Kay tried to keep a smile on her face as she abruptly turned her back on the group of guys. "That's MIGUEL, you guys!" she whispered urgently. "Oh God, don't let him come over here. Don't tell me he's coming over here."  
  
Simone smirked, enjoying Kay's discomfort immensely. "Okay, I won't TELL you he is. but he is." She thought it was high time Kay dealt with this old baggage and moved on.  
  
Kay bit her lip to keep from groaning out loud. She turned around all smiles as Miguel approached. "Hey there, how's it goin'"? She asked, hoping that her voice maintained some degree of normalcy.  
  
Miguel grinned awkwardly. He'd really missed Kay this past month and a half, and he was hurt to realize that she seemed to be getting along just fine without him. "I'm fine, Kay. And it seems like you're doing wonderfully as well."  
  
Kay took a brief internal pause and assessment, and realized that he was right, she had been doing wonderfully. She gave him an honest grin in return. "You're right, Miguel, I have been. It's good to see you."  
  
As Kay and Miguel began a tentative, yet increasingly less awkward conversation, Charity absently flirted with his two friends, who seemed to be called Reese and Chad. Simone saw movement out of the corner of her eye and smirked to herself. She hated for her friend to have to go through what was about to happen, but it needed to happen. She faded into the background as much as a beautiful woman with a barely there neon blue t- shirt could to watch the action.  
  
"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but the last time I recall you two talking, I believe Kay informed you that she didn't need to hear from you again," said a quiet, yet stony voice.  
  
"NICHOLAS!" Kay shouted. "What on earth?!"  
  
Miguel groaned on the inside. He'd just been making headway with his old friend when his main competitor for her attention appeared out of nowhere. He gritted his teeth and turned around to face Nicholas.  
  
"It appears that she does want to hear from me and that you're the uninvited guest here right now." Miguel said sharply.  
  
Charity, Reese, and Chad ended all pretense of other conversation and listened to the escalating voices with interest.  
  
"Actually, neither of you were invited to this table, but I appreciate both of you stopping by," said Kay with a calm that surprised herself.  
  
Neither man was sure what to make of such a succinct, yet definitive dismissal. Miguel, the bolder of the two, was not about to let the interaction end just like that.  
  
"Kay, why don't you and I catch a movie sometime next week?" At her skeptical look, he continued, "Nothing. nothing, you know. nothing serious, just a movie. if. if that's okay. with you. okay, I mean." he stuttered. This new Kay, who seems immune to his considerable charm, made him nervous.  
  
Please to see the effect her poise was having, Kay replied, "Sure, let's plan for Saturday evening." Her grin faltered slightly as she watched Nicholas slowly fade towards the front of the bar. She recovered quickly and smiled dismissively at Miguel. "I'll meet you at the Cineplex, we can pick something when we get there."  
  
"Sounds good." Miguel replied, and he slowly backed away from the table, knocking into several on his backwards retreat to the bar across the room.  
  
Kay looked at Charity and Simone, who were barely containing their laughter at the man's awkward retreat. The looks they shared dissolved their last bit of control and they began giggling and repeating snippets from the conversation in mock-deep voices.  
  
"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but I am going to, and embarrass the hell out of myself in the process!" snorted Simone, mimicking her dear friend Nicholas.  
  
"Uhhh.er. um. just a movie.ummm. duhh." snickered Charity, imitating Miguel's unfortunate stutter.  
  
Kay began to exaggerate walking backwards and falling into people and tables on the way.  
  
The women order a round of "dirty girlscout" shots to finish up the night, and, much to the dismay of the DJ, treat the bar to their own special rendition of Aaliyah's "Back and Forth" before stumbling back to Simone's for the chicas' night sleepover/hangover after-party.  
  
Chapter Thirteen  
  
Kay was frantically throwing clothes all over her room while Simone and Charity watched, amused at their friend's sudden girlie behavior.  
  
"You know Kay, there are unclothed children in the third world who could use some of that stuff you're throwing around," smirked Simone.  
  
Kay stopped throwing clothes on her bed and whirled around to face Simone, looking panicked. "Oh no! You're right. Okay, I promise to donate it all tomorrow, is that good?"  
  
Charity laughed at her and replied, "No, it's not good, those shoes are mine and the clothes are all Simone's. You can't donate stuff you don't own; Simone was just teasing you." Hanging out with the chicas at the gym had greatly improved Kay's figure. She was never going to be a waif like Charity because of her height and build, but since Simone was. voluptuous, most of her clothes fit.  
  
Flustered, Kay looked at Simone, who fell off the edge of the bed laughing. "Kay, I'm sorry," she said as she righted herself. "You're just too cute running around like that. I will donate those clothes when you're done, if that makes you feel any better. I always donate my wardrobe at the end of the season."  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly. "I am in a bit of a tizzy, huh?"  
  
"Yes, a bit of a tizzy," Charity repeated in a British accent. "Will you be having biscuits and Earl Grey to calm yourself now?" She threw a pillow at Kay. "Seriously, though, I see why, that Miguel sure is a hottie. And I remember how great his arms felt wrapped around me at my birthday." Charity ducked as Kay lobbed the pillow back at her.  
  
"You think he's so hot, YOU go out with him tonight," Kay retorted. "Would save me tons of stress."  
  
"Oh no, you don't," Simone jumped in. "You and Miguel need to spend time together." Her tone turned serious. "Kay, this past month of chicas' nights and such has been wonderful, but you'll appreciate us lots more when we're not just a way for you to forget you have other friends."  
  
"You guys, I love chicas' night because I spend time with you, not because I'm replacing Miguel or Nic.replacing people." Kay finished lamely.  
  
Simone grinned. "Prove it, then, that you're not replacing Miguel or Nic.I mean PEOPLE with us by going out with Miguel and having a great time."  
  
Kay grinned back and dodged another pillow, this time thrown by Simone. "Okay then, I will. Hand me that shirt with the flowing sleeves."  
  
Charity through it at her and commented, "Kay, you naughty girl, it's see- through!"  
  
Kay winked at them. "I know."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Goodnight, Miguel, it was fun!" Kay smiled at her friend. She couldn't believe she thought tonight was going to be such a big deal. Once they'd gotten past the initial awkwardness, it had been just like old times. At certain points, she recognized the old crush about to flair up, but it wasn't overpowering and didn't guide all her actions like before.  
  
"Yeah, it was," Miguel replied. But are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" Miguel was worried about the walk she had with it being so late. The area around campus was pretty safe during the day, but at night, there were lots of muggings.  
  
"I'm fine, you nut. I can protect myself," Kay said, almost self- depreciatingly. Miguel didn't smile back. "Kay, it's not about size, it's about being safe. Let me walk you back."  
  
Kay was getting confused and more than a little perturbed at his sudden chauvinism. "Miguel, with you, it's all about size, all the time, remember? I'll be fine," she insisted. Catching sight of the concern clearly on his face, she decided to soften her tone a little. "See you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
Miguel reluctantly agreed. There was something about what she'd just said that he wanted to argue with, but he couldn't figure out what it was at the moment. "G'nite Kay, see you tomorrow."  
  
Kay began the long walk home, suddenly not as secure as she'd felt a minute ago about her safety. Don't be stupid,, she said to herself. You can always take care of yourself.  
  
Nevertheless, she picked up the pace as a car slowly approached from behind her. "Hey there big girl," called a slightly slurred voice from the window. Kay walked even faster and ignored the man. "Want company tonight?" the man continued.  
  
Disgusted by the gross invitation, Kay began to lightly jog, moving further away from the road as she went. She heard feet pounding behind her and quickened to a sprint. Despite her recent forays into the gym, she wasn't sure she could keep the pace up for long, but she'd try. The man in the car kept yelling things at her, his speech getting more slurred and more explicit as he continued. The steps behind her were getting closer. She reached for her phone in her bag and dialed number 1 on the speed-dial. Miguel picked up immediately.  
  
"Miguel, I'm sorry, I should have accepted your offer, I'm running away from some guy now, I'm going to backtrack to your place because it's closer okay? Can you let me in?" Her words were released on a gasp, as she was becoming winded. The response made relief swirl through her.  
  
"Kay, stop running, it's me behind you, you nut!" Miguel yelled into the phone.  
  
Kay immediately stopped, and the man in the car took this as a signal that she was finally responding to his advances. She prayed that Miguel would catch up to her quickly. The drunk man began to get out of his car. Kay slowly backed away, filled with dread as she realized she didn't hear footsteps anymore. Where the hell is he?, she screamed in her head.  
  
Suddenly, the drunk man staggered backwards as if jerked by a collar. He slammed against his own car, as a shape in front of him began pounding into him.  
  
"Miguel, stop it!" Kay screamed. "I'm fine now, you'll get in trouble!"  
  
Miguel could barely hear Kay over the anger pounding through him. But slowly, her words sank in Breathing heavily, he released his grip on the man and allowed him to slump to the ground. He whipped around.  
  
"Kay, are you alright?" Miguel's anger, needing an outlet, transferred to Kay. "I told you that I should walk with you, why the hell are you so friggin' stubborn? I could have protected you from that!" He was screaming at her now.  
  
Suddenly, his anger had faded, leaving him with only fear. Miguel panicked as he realized exactly how afraid for Kay he was. His Kay had almost been. he didn't want to finish his thought.  
  
Kay, for her part, was still seething with rage, and welcomed Miguel as its target. "You ass. I could have handled the idiot in the car. I was afraid of the guy chasing me, who turned out to be you, you moron!"  
  
Fear for her had him yelling back, "What do you mean you could have handled the guy in the car?! He wanted to."  
  
"I know what he wanted! The same thing that they all want. They see some unattractive woman and think they're doing her a favor by calling out to her. It's nothing different from any other night," she finished.  
  
Miguel's anger returned, and he welcomed it. Anything but this all encompassing fear. "Every other night? This happens all the time? What kind of freak thinks that's okay?"  
  
"A FREAK?! Now you think I'm a freak? Just because I can take care of myself? Miguel, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm fine now, the whole neighborhood knows I'm fine now, you can go home now." Kay angrily wiped her face as she realized that tears were coursing down her cheeks.  
  
Miguel saw them too and was instantly sorry. "Kay, please. I only meant that."  
  
"You only meant that I'm a freak because I don't fawn all over you like all the other women do, that I'm not acting simperingly grateful that you came to my rescue, that I don't think I needed rescuing. You only meant exactly what you said." Kay began to walk away from Miguel, towards her apartment.  
  
"Kay stop!" Miguel yelled. "Just stop! That's not what I meant at all. I meant that it's freaky how you seem to think that that idiot's behavior is normal, how you think that it's normal for stuff like that to happen because of your size. It's not normal, it's not okay, and if me walking with you will prevent that, it's not a matter of you not being able to defend yourself, it's a matter of me being able to help you."  
  
Kay turned slowly around. "You don't think I'm a freak because I could have fought off the guy if I'd had to?"  
  
Miguel grinned at her. "I think it's great. Next time, would you mind stepping in? I think I bruised my fist and I could have used your help with the loser."  
  
Kay smiled back. "Don't worry, Miguel. You and me, we'll beat up the next pervert together."  
  
Miguel felt relieved to see her smile again. He suddenly felt responsible for making sure she never had a reason to cry again. "Hey Kay, I'm beat, and your place is still pretty far away. Why don't you take pity on me and crash at my place tonight?"  
  
Kay was immediately nervous. "Miguel, I don't think that's a good idea. Look, I'll be fine."  
  
"Oh no. We've had enough of you being fine on your own tonight. I must have given you the impression that you had a choice in the matter. You're crashing at my place tonight," Miguel insisted.  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly and silently agreed. "I could have kicked his ass, you know," she said to him as they began walking back towards his place.  
  
"I know," Miguel stopped and looked at her. It's kind of nice being able to look a woman in the eye, he noticed. "Kay, I."  
  
Kay returned his steady gaze and smiled slowly. "Thank you, Miguel," she said, interrupting his sentence. She leaned in and gave him a hug, that he returned. Not one of his goofy bear hugs, but a brief squeeze that allowed the physical closeness they needed to mirror the emotional one they both felt. Miguel, not wanting their connection to end, let his hand continue to rest on her hip as they continued walking to his place in silence.  
  
As he fumbled through his pockets for his keys at the door, Kay let her head fall softly to his shoulder. In her exhaustion, she forgot about the caution she normally took to minimize contact between them.  
  
Miguel's reaction was swift and jarring to both of them. He instantly tightened his grip on her hip and pulled her closer, all thoughts of keys leaving his mind as he focused on the soft figure by his side.  
  
Kay, instantly alert with his response, lifted her head and met his eyes with surprise.  
  
Miguel's eyes widened as they stood face to face once more. "Your eyes are beautiful," he murmured without thinking.  
  
Her slow smile, so similar to all the thousands of others she'd graced him with over the years seemed different somehow.  
  
"Must be the lights," he whispered, again without thinking.  
  
"Hmm?" Kay questioned.  
  
Miguel cleared his throat and mumbled, breaking eye contact, "The lights. uhhh. they must be different here or something."  
  
Kay grinned knowingly as her heart soared in recognition of the feelings she'd seen in his eyes. Even if he hadn't realized it, Kay could finally believe they had a chance. She wasn't sure that it was meant to be, but after so many years of waiting, she thought she deserved a chance.  
  
"Yeah, your eyes look kinda funny too," she said, giggling.  
  
Miguel found his keys finally, and let them in.  
  
Chapter Fourteen  
  
"Damn, Kay, what the hell happened to you?" asked Reese from his deep slouch on the sofa.  
  
Miguel punched him lightly on the shoulder and said, "Reese, dude, were you raised in a barn? That's not how you greet a guest."  
  
Kay must have been thinking the same thing as Reese because she snorted behind her hand as Reese looked up incredulously at Miguel and responded, "Kay? A guest? Since when? She's always just been one of the guys."  
  
Miguel winced instead of Kay at Reese's carelessness for the first time. It suddenly occurred to him what it must be like to constantly have one's femininity undermined. Strong woman or no, Kay was still a woman and the stirrings in his body as she wiggled next to him while laughing were sending him a sure reminder of that fact.  
  
Kay sensed Miguel getting upset, and while she was pleasantly surprised at the fact, she didn't want to cause trouble between the two best friends. "Miguel," she murmured, "It's alright."  
  
Kay's soft acceptance of Reese's words made him cringe all the more. "Reese, tonight, Kay is a guest, so just knock it off, okay?"  
  
Reese smirked to himself. I know what's goin' on here buddy, and it's about damned time. Now maybe I'll get an intro to that cute sister of hers. Unwilling to let his mischief, go, however, Reese thought up another tactic. "Fine, fine, whatever you say man." He paused for effect, just to let the moment's awkwardness fade. All the better to create more in a second, he thought. "I guess I better clear the couch then so you can crash Kay.." he said, letting the end of his sentence trail off as he began to move out of his horizontal slouch and into a sitting position.  
  
Kay immediately started to reach into the hall closet to pull out the blankets she normally used when she slept on their couch.  
  
Miguel watched the preparations with dismay. This was not going as he (and his hormones) had planned. He had to put a stop to this before Kay was snoozing on the couch and he was alone and frustrated upstairs. "Actually, Kay, it's been so long since we've had a chance to hang out.." Kay looked down sheepishly at this. Miguel continued, "..So why don't you come upstairs and we can chat for awhile, and Reese can continue vegetating on the couch."  
  
Reese could barely contain the snort that rose in his throat at this. Smooth, Miguel, real smooth, he thought. But not as smooth as me. "Oh, Miguel, after being so rude to our guest, I wouldn't want to put you guys out, I'll vacate the couch and go on to bed and you two can talk down here, there's more room." Beat that, Miguel, Reese thought, hitting his stride in deviousness.  
  
"Ummm." Miguel thought quickly and came up with nothing. So he decided to remove the problem. "Reese, can I talk to you for a sec?"  
  
"Sure, buddy, what's up?" Reese asked, not moving an inch.  
  
"I mean, in the kitchen," Miguel said, willing his teeth to unclench so he could get the words out.  
  
"Ooooooooooooh, hehe, sure thing, after you," Reese responded, loving every minute of Miguel's tension.  
  
Kay was totally confused. If she hadn't known any better, she would have thought that Miguel was trying to be alone with her. in his bedroom. at night. She was glad he was going to talk to Reese about .. whatever, because she needed a moment to process all of this. It appeared as though what she'd been wishing for, for what seemed like all of her life, was about to happen. Something in the back of her head told her that it probably wasn't a good idea to begin something tonight, since they still hadn't really talked about what had gone wrong with them in the first place. But she also heard Simone's voice in her head, telling her to go for it because she'd never know until it happened whether it was right or not. Simone was definitely winning out until visions of Nicholas and Charity began to pop, uninvited, into her head, spurring on a wave of guilt. She knew what the Nicholas thing was about, but she couldn't think why her cousin's visage should make her feel even guiltier on top of that. Still, she decided to let that devil in bright red on her shoulder named Simone be her guide. She'd work out all the difficulties later, she told herself.  
  
Meanwhile, Miguel was steadily berating a completely unapologetic Reese for his interference. "What the hell was that, Reese? Why are you being so difficult about Kay and me spending time alone in my room?"  
  
Reese put all his mirth on pause to consider the question. The answer he came up with surprised even himself with its astuteness. "Because you've acted like such an ass with Kay since I met the two of you freshman year and I'm not sure that you deserve what you seem to finally want right now."  
  
Miguel looked at him in shock. "What are you talking about?! You're the one who said she had a crush on me, you're the one who was gossiping about her to me, which nearly ended our friendship, I might add."  
  
"Bull," Reese said succinctly, cutting off Miguel's tirade. "I told you she had a crush on you, not so that you could decide one night to let your hormones have your way with her, but so that you wouldn't hurt her." Reese softened his tone. "Miguel, you have got to be one of the most self- centered people I know, and as your best friend, I think it's hilarious, and for some reason, most women seem to think it's charming, but for Kay, it's just one aspect of a person she appears to be in love with. And it's the aspect that's keeping you from returning that affection, or at the very least being straight with her about how you feel so she can move on. Instead, you string her along, happy to have her devotion, as long as it doesn't require any reciprocity from you."  
  
Miguel couldn't believe it. He hadn't wanted to admit it to himself, but he really had had no clue as to why Kay had so easily dismissed him more than a month ago, he only knew that he wanted things to return to the way they were. At least, that's what he'd wanted before tonight. "Yeah well, what if I'm willing to give this whole reciprocity thing a try?" he asked Reese.  
  
Reese gazed at him steadily, attempting to mimic countless movie scenes, in which a person can see if another person is serious by looking into their eyes. He realized that movies were a load of crap; he had no idea whether Miguel was serious or not. "Hey, she's your friend, Miguel, but if you screw this up again, I wouldn't bet on being able to fix it with that wide grin of yours or those big brown eyes either."  
  
With that, Reese happily trotted back to get into his deep slouch on the sofa while a stunned Kay watched as he flopped down on her nicely arranged pillows and blankets. "I won the coin toss, Kay," Reese said absently as he flipped on the TV.  
  
"Huh?" she asked him.  
  
"I. Won. The. Coin. Toss," Reese repeated patiently, as if he were talking to a small child. "That means I get the couch and you get to cram into that tiny room upstairs with Miguel. Too bad."  
  
Kay smirked to herself. Miguel walked into the room with two cokes. "Come on Kay, we.."  
  
"We lost the coin toss, riiiiiight." Kay said as she rolled her eyes. She followed Miguel up to his room.  
  
Chapter Fifteen  
  
Miguel shut the door behind him as Kay stood awkwardly by his desk. Besides the chair full of laundry in front of the computer on his desk, there was nowhere to sit but on his bed. Kay realized suddenly that they had never before spent time together in this room, and she felt even more uncomfortable. Miguel clearly was too, because he just stood beside her.  
  
Kay, still herself despite the weirdness of the situation, broke the silence first. "Sooo.. did you enjoy the movie tonight?" Oh my God, she thought. Did I just say that?  
  
Miguel, tired of his own games and not willing to put up with any new ones she could come up with said, "Yeah, it was great. But we um. we already talked about the movie, right afterwards. I was kinda hoping we could talk about something else."  
  
Kay found herself impressed with his straightforwardness. Miguel had never been one to beat around the bush, but he was always willing to put off serious things in favor of frivolities if he thought he could get away with it. "Okay, Miguel, what's on your mind?"  
  
"I don't think it's what's on my mind that matters, Kay; I really want to know what's going on in yours. I mean, what has been going on with you." Miguel paused as she struggled to get the next sentence out. "I. I really need to hear from you exactly why we've been on this break from each other for so long.." He paused again as he realized they were still standing. "For goodness sakes, we used to pile on top of each other playing baseball, I don't think it'll hurt if we share sitting on the bed."  
  
She grinned at him and sat. And immediately sobered as she thought about how to phrase her next words. She knew that it was only fair that she finally explain herself to him. As much as she wished he could figure things out on his own, he wasn't a mind reader. "Miguel.. I uh.. I'vehadthisreallyreallybigcrushonyouforalongtime." She said in one breath.  
  
He grinned at her nervousness. It relieved some of his own tension to see that she was off balance because of the situation too. "So I've heard. But Kay, you should have told me. Hearing it from Reese and sniveling petty women isn't the same as hearing it from you. I had no clue.."  
  
"Miguel, yes you did!" she said, a little louder than she had intended. "I didn't tell you, but you knew; you had to have known. You've spent a long time manipulating me because of it, so whether you knew it consciously or not, all you had to do was think about it, about me."  
  
"Hold on a second, there Kay, how have I ever manipulated you?" Miguel couldn't imagine where all this anger was coming from, or why she'd held it in for so long.  
  
"Remember the night of Charity's birthday party? You just assume I'll follow you places, without even telling me where we're going. And then, when I wanted to stay, you knowingly lied to me about practicing baseball to tear me away from other people who just might have held my attention instead of you." The anger she had felt that night surged in her, and she let it.  
  
Miguel, shocked again at someone else's perception of his behavior, thought back to that night. He vaguely remembered it. He had known that there was going to be so many beautiful women there. He'd dragged Kay along because Reese wouldn't go and he didn't want to go alone, and he knew that she'd tag along with him. but that didn't mean that he'd known about her crush. Uninvited, another memory from that night hit him. He was getting bored of the simpering going on around him -- even he got tired of talking about himself -- and had looked around for Kay so they could leave. He saw her embroiled in a game of baseball without him and wanted her to leave immediately with him. So he'd made up a little white lie because he'd known that she would leave. he'd known that she would go anywhere with him.. known that she."I knew," he said under his breath.  
  
Kay heard him. Tears started falling as she remembered the old hurt. "You knew," she agreed softly. "You knew and you used it throughout our friendship to get me to do what you wanted, no matter how much false hope you were giving me about your intentions," she stated, her voice stronger now. "And then, when I finally met another friend, Nicholas, you blew up at him in some sort of pseudo jealous rage.."  
  
Miguel grimaced. "Can we not talk about Nicholas, please?" he pleaded. "And besides," he muttered, "itwasn'tpseudoanything."  
  
"Miguel, stop mumbling, what did you say?"  
  
"I said," he replied, resigned to the fact that it was now his turn to come clean, "it wasn't pseudo anything. I was jealous; I just didn't know it at the time."  
  
"Miguel, don't.." Kay began as she swiped unsuccessfully at her tears.  
  
"Kay, I'm telling you the truth about this, I was jealous, I didn't like hearing your voice sound sleepy in the background early in the morning and some other guy answering your cell phone. I didn't like thinking you'd replaced me so easily."  
  
Kay softened her voice again. "Miguel, no one will ever replace the friendship we have."  
  
"That's good to know, but it's not what I was talking about. I didn't like thinking that you'd found someone else to have feelings for.. because" he faltered, looked down, and then looked up directly at her. Seeing the drying tears on her cheeks, he reached over and slowly wiped them completely away. "Because.." She leaned into his caress and he slid closer on the bed.  
  
"DAMMIT, tell her already so I can get back to the couch!" Reese yelled through the door.  
  
Kay jumped and cracked her knee against Miguel's. "Ow, shit, Reese, what's the matter with you?!" she yelled. "Can't you see I'm witnessing Miguel "I got game" Lo-Fitz stumble over his words?" She turned back to Miguel, grinning.  
  
Miguel grinned back. "You know I got game," he winked at her.  
  
"If you've got it, then why don't you kick a little my way," she flirted back.  
  
Miguel turned serious all of a sudden, "I think we've had enough games, Kay. Let's just skip it this time."  
  
"I'm all about skipping game," she replied gamely. Unable to wait any longer, she pulled Miguel into their first kiss, trying to convey all of what she'd felt for him those past years at once, and mentally preparing herself to explain the blue she was sure that they would feel.  
  
And the explanations were never needed, because she never felt the tell- tale blue that was supposed to indicate love. All night, as they both shared with each other physically what had been building emotionally for over a year now; she waited for the blue that never came. Chapter Sixteen  
  
"What's wrong, Kay?" The morning after brought a quiet between the two that they'd never shared before. Miguel sensed that something was bothering Kay, and had been too afraid to ask about it for the better part of an hour, but could no longer hold back his curiosity and concern.  
  
"Hmm?" she asked back vaguely.  
  
Miguel gently rolled her over from their spooned position on his bed so that she faced him. "Kay, something is wrong. Tell me."  
  
Kay looked into Miguel's eyes and smiled. The automatic grin he sent her in return allowed her to push her concerns about not seeing or feeling the telltale blue haze to the back of her mind. "Nothing's wrong, Miguel," she replied. And they both almost believed her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay, give," Simone demanded. They were at Haven, enjoying the first chica's night after Kay and Miguel's date to the movies. "You said you wouldn't tell us anything until tonight, and now it's tonight, so give, and no more stalling."  
  
Kay blushed and grinned broadly.  
  
"SEE?!?! Charity, did you see that?!" Simone shrieked. "I told you something was up with her!!!"  
  
"I see, Simone," Charity said with a smile, quite a bit more reserved than her exuberant friend. "She's definitely hiding something. Spill it, Kay."  
  
"Okay, I will, but first I have a question for you, Charity," Kay said.  
  
On the outside, Charity gave a small nod of encouragement to Kay, indicating she should go ahead with her question. Inside, she was pretty shaken, although she couldn't say why. She'd been dreading this night all week, which was odd, since she loved chica's night just as much as her two friends. But something about having to hear the details of what was obviously a wonderful time shared between Kay and Miguel made her supremely uncomfortable.  
  
"Are you sure that we feel blue with the one we've in love with? Like, we don't feel it with anyone else?" Kay couldn't bring herself to admit just yet that she hadn't felt it with Miguel, so she asked in a roundabout way.  
  
Charity swallowed the lump that had been growing in her throat. So, Miguel and Kay are in love. Charity knew she should be excited for her friend, but she felt devastated. She now acknowledged that she'd hoped it was a passing thing that Kay would outgrow, leaving Miguel.. she wouldn't finish the thought; it was too much like betraying her cousin. Instead, she responded to Kay's question.  
  
"Yes, Kay. It happens between two people who are in love, and only between two people who are in love." Charity was a bit taken aback by the flash of dejection she saw cross Kay's face. But it was gone quickly, so that she questioned whether she'd really seen it there in the first place.  
  
"Okay, thanks," Kay said lightly.  
  
"KAAAAYYYYEEEEE!" Simone shouted. "I can't take it anymore, enough stalling, tell us everything that happened, and tell us now!!!"  
  
Kay grinned at Simone's impatience, and finally granted her request. She left out the part about not seeing blue, though. That was for her to figure out on her own.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kay and Miguel began dating on a regular basis, and appeared to be the perfect couple. Soon, once the initial novelty of having a friend with ALL the benefits wears off, she realized that something was missing, and she couldn't help but brood about the continuing lack of blue in their lives..  
  
Kay, in one of the many morose moods she'd had since she and Miguel started dating and she'd felt no blue, didn't notice as someone came up behind her as she was walking along the street in front of campus.  
  
"If it isn't Kay Bennett, AWARE queen extraordinaire," said a voice dripping with bitterness said from behind her back.  
  
"Why Nicholas," said Kay, immediately recognizing his voice as she turned around to face him, "How nice of you to recognize when you're in the presence of true awareness. How are you these days?" She asks, dropping the nasty tone and opting for a neutral one. There was no sense in getting riled up about the past, she thought.  
  
"I'm fine and dandy, and yourself?" he asked, and then continued without giving her a chance to answer, "I hear you've finally gotten what you've always wanted."  
  
"Oh really?" she equivocated, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "And what might my wildest dream be, according to our resident Kay expert?"  
  
"Miguel. I hear you're with Miguel now," he said, unable to keep the anger he felt out of his voice. "Moved on rather quickly from your supposed love of me, didn't you?"  
  
Kay stepped back from him as quickly as if she had been shoved by a blow from his fist. Hurt, pure and unadulterated, was all over her face. But, she recovered fairly quickly, and this time, made no attempts at neutrality. "Well, it only took me 24 hours to like you, and given your poisonous personality, it was only a matter of hours before I was over it." She instantly regretted her words as she saw a pain mirroring her own reflected briefly on his face.  
  
Nicholas too unleashed all of his anger at her. "That's hilarious. You're calling me poisonous? I'm not the one who thinks near electrocution is a sign of real love. How does your new boyfriend find your floating and electric mind-reading antics?"  
  
Kay, unthinkingly responded, "See, you have it wrong, Nicholas dear, you are definitely the poisonous one here, since I don't feel anything of the sort with Miguel. No electricity, no floating, nothing, just plain old.." Kay gasped as she realized what she had revealed.  
  
Nicholas paled, remembering..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mom always told us that we'd know our true love by feeling blue  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As the significance of Kay's revelation that she didn't see or feel blue while with Miguel sank in, Kay turned bright red and decided to get out of Nicholas's way as soon as possible.  
  
"If you are finished insulting me, Nicholas, I have to go now." Kay's voice was still a bit shaky.  
  
Nicholas was too shocked about her revelation to respond immediately. If Kay only felt the blue with him and not Miguel..  
  
"Nicholas! Nicholas pay attention; I'm leaving." Kay's voice was a lot firmer now as she grew impatient with his unresponsiveness.  
  
"What? Oh, sorry," Nicholas paused to bring himself out of his reverie. "Okay, bye, Kay," he tossed out absently. He needed to digest this latest development a bit more.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Kay hurried away from Nicholas, she failed to hear Simone shouting after her. Finally, she felt someone poke her from behind.  
  
"Hey!" she yelled. "What the hell's the matter with you, Simone?!" she shouted as she turned around. "You scared me!"  
  
Simone grinned. The grin almost outshone the brilliance of her goldenrod yellow camisole and matching Capri pants. With the weather warming up, Simone was expanding her color palette even more. "Kay, I've been yelling after you for a block; I had to run to catch up with you. Can't I even get a proper greeting?"  
  
Kay had the decency to look sheepish. "Ooops. Hello, Simone," she began. "Isn't it lovely outside? How are you on this fine."  
  
"Enough already," a giggling Simone told Kay. "Let's talk about what you just told good ol' Nicky back there."  
  
At least her bluntness kept things interesting, Kay thought. "I assume you heard about my little. um. problem with Miguel."  
  
"Yes, I did and I was just thinking to myself, 'Self,....' that's what I call myself, you know, 'self'...." Simone paused to give Kay time to absorb the fact that this was going to be a long, long conversation. Kay dutifully sat down on a bench they were passing and Simone plunked her stuff down beside Kay, needing to stand so that Kay could get the full effect of this performance. "So I'm saying to myself," she continues, "'Self, I know you overheard Kay tell Nicholas that she didn't feel blue with Miguel, but since that could only mean that Kay and Miguel aren't meant to be, you should just stop being foolish, self, and realize that Kay was only lying to Nicholas to get him off her back because, self, it would be absolutely RIDICULOUS to think that Kay has been lying to you, self, and Charity all this time. Just Ridiculous," Simone finished pointedly glaring at Kay after putting her hands on her hips.  
  
Kay immediately turned red and mumbled, "Don't be so hard on your self."  
  
Simone, not amused by Kay's intended pun, said, "You lied to us, didn't you? Kay, of all the..."  
  
"Now wait a minute Simone," Kay interrupted. "I didn't lie to you guys... not exactly," she quickly amended at Simone's look. "You guys were so happy for me, I just didn't want you to be disappointed when you realized that it was just a temporary thing between Miguel and I," she finished lamely.  
  
"Kay, that is the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. And the only thing that's keeping me from really fussing at you is that you seem to believe it." Simone's face took on a calmer, more open look and Kay visibly relaxed. "Kay, Charity and I just want you to be happy, and if being with Miguel isn't going to keep you happy, then that's not what we want for you."  
  
"Why wouldn't being with Miguel keep Kay happy?" Charity asked, walking up. "I thought they were finally together forever and ever," she continued, unable to keep a slight bitter note out of her voice.  
  
Simone looked at her sharply, catching the tinge of sourness in Charity's voice. Kay, for her part, was oblivious to the harsh tone, mired as she was in her own gloominess about the situation. "I don't feel the blue thing with Miguel, Charity, and I never have."  
  
Charity was stunned enough to join Kay on the bench with a flop. "But Kay, I remember, that chica's night, you asked me about the blue to make sure that Miguel was your true love."  
  
Kay realized it was time to fess up completely. "No, Charity, I asked you that question because the flip side of your answer that the blue would only happen with my true love is that if it didn't happen, the person wasn't my true love after all. Miguel..." she paused, before she said it for the first time, and then continued, her voice constricted by the tears in her throat. "Miguel, isn't my true love. Nicholas is."  
  
Chapter Seventeen  
  
"Kay, sweetie, I am so sorry," Charity said, meaning it, despite the traitorous burst of hope she felt at Kay's revelation.  
  
"Yeah, me too, but hey, Nicholas has been moping around like someone killed his pet dog recently, you need to work things out with both of these men, Kay."  
  
Kay grinned a little through her tears. "Thanks for the analogy, Simone... I think." She collected her thoughts before speaking again. "Ten months ago, I would have thought myself to be terminally single, and now, I've got two guys to deal with. You guys, what am I supposed to say to Miguel? I mean, Nicholas freaked out when I told him, I don't think Miguel would take it well if I told him that I was breaking up with him because we don't jump into each other's minds when we kiss."  
  
Charity felt a surge of panic about Miguel ever finding out about blue. "No, Kay, don't tell him!"  
  
This time both Kay and Simone looked at her strangely. I know something's up with you chick and I think I know what it is too, Simone thought to herself.  
  
Charity equivocated before Kay could ask anything about her outburst. "I mean... umm... you're right, Nicholas freaked, and it wouldn't be fair to Miguel to put all that on him. I'm sure even without the blue to tell him so, he knows something isn't right."  
  
Kay agreed. "Okay guys, I guess I'll talk to Miguel later and see what happens."  
  
"And you'll tell us about it tomorrow night over milkshakes, RIGHT?" Simone hinted.  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly, "Of course, I'd never keep anything from you guys... *cough* cough*... that is, I'll never keep anything from you Again, I mean."  
  
Simone kicked at her, tipping Kay enough that she slipped off the back of the bench. Charity, glad that the tension was gone, giggled and went over after her to grab Kay's hand to fix the sprain she knew was going to result.  
  
Simone, for her part, looked mortified. "Kay? Kay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to fall," then, getting self-righteous, "God, you're the biggest klutz on earth, why the hell can't you even sit properly without hurting yourself?"  
  
From somewhere under the bench, Kay hollered, "YOU KICKED ME, TWIT!"  
  
Charity snorted as the two began to bicker, continuing the argument well after the familial blue had healed Kay and well past reason.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Miguel slammed his books on the floor just inside his apartment, causing Reese to wake up mid-snore from his usual deep slouch on their sofa.  
  
"What the hell?" Reese shouted, disoriented.  
  
"Oh, good, you're awake," responded Miguel, ignoring Reese's grimaces. "Can I talk to your for a minute?"  
  
Reese looked at him closely, trying to pick out any guilt that might be on Miguel's expression. He didn't know what had shocked him awake, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with the messy pile of books beside his best friend. "I'm awake, NOW," he answered. "I guess you can talk at me, I can't promise I'll give a response," he continued, grumbling. "But you can't sit on this couch, you better get a chair from the kitchen," he added quickly.  
  
Miguel smirked at got his own chair. "So umm... don't get mad before you hear me out, Reese..." Miguel began after settling himself for their discussion.  
  
"Riiight, so what you really mean is that I'm gonna get mad, and that's just your way of preparing me for my own anger," Reese guessed.  
  
"Basically," Miguel answered. "So yeah, okay... umm... remember when you told me not to get involved with Kay if I wasn't ready to return her feelings?"  
  
Reese felt a small migraine developing as he hazarded a guess about where this conversation was going. "Yes, Miguel, I do. And I also remember you ASSURING ME that you did return her feelings."  
  
"Wait a sec, Reese, I didn't assure you; I hinted that I might..." Miguel began.  
  
"Whatever you want to tell yourself, dude," Reese muttered. "But, please, continue, I have a feeling you're just getting warmed up with this here topic."  
  
"Umm, yeah, so I did, I really did. Or, I mean, I thought I did. And I really really do care about Kay and our friendship has progressed to a whole new level of understanding now... but after that initial sort of burst of pent up attraction, I haven't really been into her that way..." Miguel saw Reese about to interrupt. "Now, don't get me wrong, I see now that Kay is definitely a desirable woman, and I have no problems fooling around with her, it's enjoyable, but it's like the whole "in love" part of our relationship will never catch up to the depth of our friendship." Miguel stopped as he ran out of steam.  
  
Reese considered his words, and surprised them both with his response. "Way to go, Miguel," he began.  
  
Miguel was angry. "Look, Reese, I don't need any of your sarcasm now, just some friendly advice if you please."  
  
Reese grinned, "Man, I'm being totally serious, no facetiousness intended. I really think it's great that you're finally in touch with the reality of your relationship with Kay. I mean, I never would have asked you to stay with her if you didn't feel it was right, I just want you to be honest with yourself and with her about things."  
  
Miguel smiled tentatively. "You're serious? You think this is a good thing?"  
  
"Well," Reese answered, "I mean, this means she's not gonna be inclined to introduce me to that hot sister of hers I see in the pics she's shown us of her family, but yeah, I'd say it's good for you two."  
  
Miguel grinned. "Thanks, Reese, I guess I'll talk to Kay about this. And, maybe I'll even let you come home with me this summer back to Harmony and you can meet Jess without Kay's involvement." Miguel headed upstairs to make the call, more apprehensive as he thought about actually saying the words to Kay.  
  
Reese settled into his deep slouch again, muttering to himself, "Jess, huh? Cute name... Cute girl..."  
  
Chapter Eighteen  
  
"Hey Kay, how's it goin'? Miguel asked her over the phone.  
  
"Oh, hey Miguel, I was just gonna call you. What's up, babe?" she replied.  
  
"Umm... not too much. Do you wanna come over and chill for awhile?"  
  
"Uhh, yeah, sure," Kay responded. "Is anything wrong, you sound kinda funny."  
  
"No, nothing's wrong, I just want to see you for awhile, you know, talk and stuff."  
  
Kay shut her eyes and pictured him as she answered, "Yeah, I want to talk to you too." She squeezed her eyes shut more tightly than before and continued. "I'm just gonna get dressed and I'll be over in a sec."  
  
"Okay, see you soon." Miguel hung up before she could hear the emotion in his voice. He hastily threw his clothes off his desk chair and into his closet. He could see an awkward repeat of Kay's first time in his room, and wanted her to have options about how close she wanted to be to him after everything was out in the open.  
  
Kay rushed down the stairs of her apartment in sweat shorts, a baby tee, and some old running shoes. She ran the entire way, carrying the mini canister of mace Miguel insisted she have when walking alone at night.  
  
Miguel opened the door after her first knock and, rethinking having the discussion in his room, where Kay might feel trapped, asked if she'd like to take a walk. She agreed and they headed back towards campus, gravitating toward the benches in front of the university library. They walked in silence, enjoying each other's company, but both recognizing a tinge of finality to the short journey.  
  
"Miguel," Kay began.  
  
"Wait, Kay, can I say something before you do?" They were both surprised at his initiative, Kay always began such discussions.  
  
"Of course, Miguel, please, I want to know what you're thinking right now."  
  
"Kay... Kay, I love you," he began, and then continued quickly as he felt the tears come to his eyes. "I'll always love you, Kay... but I just... Kay, honey, I love you, but only as a friend... Let me finish, please," Miguel said, seeing her about to interject, "Kay, please don't be hurt, this has been the best relationship I've ever been in and I really hope that the friendship we've developed along the way won't be affected by this... Kay, please, I really need to say this," Miguel pleaded as he saw her about to interrupt again. "I just want to be fair to you, and not lead you on and to let you know where I stand on things and how I'm feeling... Kay, please, don't cry," Miguel felt tears slide down his face as well as he watched them roll down Kay's cheeks.  
  
"Miguel, I..." Kay took a deep breath to hold back the heaving sobs she felt coming. "Miguel, I'm crying because I didn't think this would hurt so much..."  
  
"Kay, I'm so sorry..."Miguel began.  
  
"No, now let me finish," Kay said. "Miguel, I wanted to break up with you too. I know things aren't right in this relationship, and I really do think we make better friends, I just didn't think it would hurt so much hearing it said aloud... by you." Her tears came freely now, and he gathered her in his arms.  
  
Miguel tilts her head up and leans in for one last kiss. It ends quickly, and Kay looks down, unable to interpret her own feelings at the moment, and certainly not ready to deal with the ones racing across Miguel's features.  
  
"You bastard," they hear coming venomously from behind them.  
  
For a millisecond, Kay thought it was Nicholas intruding once again, but then quickly realized that the low voice was a female voice growling from behind Miguel.  
  
"How could you make her cry like that," an extremely angry Charity shouted. As Kay looked up, she was stunned at the ferocity with which Charity shot mental daggers at Miguel. "Don't you think she's cried enough over you? You had to get one last one in, didn't you?" Charity moved closer to Miguel.  
  
Seeing Charity's intention, Kay moved to block her, but too late. As she grabbed Miguel's hand to pull him out of the way, Charity's palm whipped across his face as she smacked his soundly.  
  
Blue light crackled through the air and all three were thrown onto the ground.  
  
Instantly, Kay understood what had happened. Miguel was completely confused, and Charity thought she understood, but she was wrong. Chapter Nineteen  
  
Kay jumped up, seeing that if she didn't take charge and explain things, this could erupt into a huge mess. "Wow, that was some lightening, huh?" She began weakly. "You know, they said we'd get thunder and such today."  
  
"Kay, what are you talking about," Miguel said incredulously. "Charity just smacked the hell out of me, and with you pulling on me from the other direction, it made the impact that much worse." He rubbed his sore jaw. "It was painful, but it was no lightening."  
  
Charity and Kay exchanged looks and silently agreed to let Miguel delude himself. "Right, you're right," Kay responded. "Charity," she said, whipping around, "Why the hell did you hit Miguel like that?"  
  
Confused, Charity answered, "Because he was making you cry!"  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly, "Um..., Charity, we were both crying." Now, the rest of Miguel's face turned red to catch up with the red hand print Charity had left. "We just broke up and we were a little emotional, but he wasn't hurting me intentionally."  
  
Now it was Charity's turn to look sheepish. She turned to Miguel. "I am so sorry..."she reached out to touch his cheek where her hand print glowed.  
  
"NO!" Kay and Miguel shouted together for two very different reasons. Instantly, Charity dropped her hand. "Right, hehe, umm, I'm just gonna go grab that sandwich from the all night deli that I was on my way to get and leave you two to it, then." She turned to Kay and thought hard at her, "Call me, we have to discuss!" Kay nodded almost imperceptibly in response.  
  
Kay and Miguel turned to each other. "Okay, um, how about we forget the last part of that and focus on the part where we both want to remain friends forever and ever," Kay suggested.  
  
Miguel grabbed her in one of his wonderful hugs and whispered in her ear, "I'd love to."  
  
As they walked in opposite directions, a figure moved out of the shadows towards Kay. She continued walking at the same pace, although she felt his presence behind her. She slowly reached for her canister of mace in her side pocket.  
  
"No need for that, Kay, it's only me, and I don't plan on touching you today, especially not after that scene I just witnessed."  
  
"Nicholas," Kay breathed wearily, "Of course it's you, you always seem to be lurking around when important conversations are happening or about to be happening. I'll keep my personal defense system handy, anyway."  
  
Nicholas blushed and was thankful that they'd stepped into the shadows of a building so that Kay couldn't see. "Well, I find it interesting to observe these things; it helps me understand the depth of your manipulative powers."  
  
Kay was completely confused and too weary to protest. "Look, Nicholas, why don't you just tell me what you think you saw and then give me half a chance to respond before you interrupt and make fun of me again so I can get to sleep as soon as possible."  
  
"Fine," Nicholas was stunned into submission. "I saw the blue thing that you claim doesn't exist between you and Miguel, but that clearly does knock you, Miguel, and that woman out."  
  
Kay smirked in the dark. "Oh, is that what you saw? While you were snooping on me, did you happen to overhear anything?"  
  
"Umm, no, I wasn't close enough, but I think what I saw sums things up pretty well."  
  
"Nicholas, after the way you've treated me, I don't owe you any explanations..." Kay quickly flashed back to Simone's comments about Nicholas's current welfare.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nicholas has been moping around like someone killed his pet dog recently...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kay instantly softened and explained what had happened to Nicholas. "That blue that you saw, had nothing to do with me, it was between my EX," she emphasized, "and 'that woman' as you called her, who happens to be my cousin."  
  
Nicholas snorted. "Wait, so you're trying to tell me that you didn't feel the blue between you and Miguel, but Miguel and your cousin do and you got caught in the crossfire just now? So your cousin and your SUPREMELY recent EX are each other's true love? I'm supposed to believe that load of..."  
  
Kay pulled him close, careful to touch only the front of his shirt, "You listen to me, Nicholas Crane, I don't care what load of anything you believe; it's the truth. You're the one who was spying on a private conversation; I've explained to you all I'm going to tonight."  
  
She moved as if to pull away, but Nicholas grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. As his hands moved to caress her cheek, she instantly felt the blue connection between them as was thrown into his embrace.  
  
You're going to kiss me aren't you, she thought.  
  
"I most definitely am," he responded aloud.  
  
As they kissed, the connection was complete and the blue made them one again. To Kay, it felt like coming home after a long time in a strange country.  
  
Nicholas, why are we so mean to each other? she asked through their connection.  
  
I... Kay, I'm so sorry, he began to respond the same manner.  
  
"I'm so sorry," he whispered aloud against her lips as he ended the kiss.  
  
She pulled back, confused. "Nicholas, I didn't...." she began.  
  
"I know, Kay," he interrupted. "I know you didn't mean for that to happen. But I'm still not ready for this," he winced as tears flooded her eyes. "I'm going to go now," he finished lamely.  
  
Kay's expression turned lethal. "You coward," she spat at him. "You big coward, don't you apologize to me. I was fine without you these past few months and I'll be fine without you now. Just stop following me and stop approaching me with snide comments. I don't want to see you again, you hear me?" she yelled. "I don't want to see you again!"  
  
She fled to her dorm room, tears pouring. She had never looked forward to the next day's chica's night as she did at that moment.  
  
Nicholas, regretting the entire exchange promised to her silently to obey her last request. Chapter Twenty  
  
The next day, before chica's night, Kay called Charity to discuss.  
  
"Hello," came Charity's subdued voice over the phone.  
  
"Hey, Charity, got a minute?" Kay asked, hearing her somber tone and responded by keeping her own voice neutral. She wasn't sure what Charity was thinking and didn't want to freak her out.  
  
"Yeah, of course, Kay, what's up?" Charity forced a bit of normalcy into her voice. There was no reason for Kay to be as upset as she was about recent events.  
  
"Well, I just wanted to talk about what happened last night, you know, with the whole blue thing..." Kay let her voice trail off, waiting to hear Charity's reaction.  
  
"Okay... only, it's not really fair to leave Simone out of all this, so why don't you meet me at her place in an hour? We can start chica's night early today."  
  
Kay knew as well as Charity did that this was a two-fold tactic. Not only was Charity delaying the discussion, she was also using Simone as a buffer. But Kay would do anything to help her cousin through what she knew was going to be a trying experience with her true love. "Okay, Charity, that sounds great. Will you call Simone to let her know?"  
  
"Yeah, sure, sounds good. I'll see you then." Charity quickly broke the connection. She needed as much time to mentally prepare herself for this next chica's night as possible.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The three women were settled comfortably around Simone's living room, munching on a fabulous salmon and pasta dinner that Simone had prepared. As Kay looked around, she noticed new candles with slightly melted tips placed strategically around the flat.  
  
"Simone....uh, did we interrupt something?" Kay asked, hating to think that she and Charity were letting their personal life get in the way of Simone's.  
  
"Oh please, just a little self pampering," Simone said lightly. "So what's up? I mean, I know you women can't live without me, but I thought the regular chica's night time was enough....." Simone's voice was drowned out by the massive pillows Kay and Charity had chucked her way. Once the silliness had died down, though, a serious mood fell on the room. "Okay, give, Kay, I take it you talked to Miguel," Simone began.  
  
"Yeah," Kay admitted. "And it wasn't so bad really; he was sort of feeling the same way. I think we'll be alright," Kay ended with a shrug.  
  
Simone was confused. "Then why are we here? Seems like it went as well as can be expected."  
  
"Well," Kay began slowly, "It wasn't the breakup we need to discuss so much as it was what superwoman over there caused afterwards."  
  
"I was only trying to be supportive," Charity muttered.  
  
Simone grinned, eager to hear what new drama her two friends had gotten into now. Simone was pretty flamboyant on the outside, but she preferred a certain normalcy in her own life. And this new thing with.... well, that was another subject for a day when her two best friends weren't spazzing out. Besides, keeping it to herself WAS keeping it normal. She had no doubt that they'd find a way to make a big hoo-ha out of it.  
  
"Okay, spill it Charity, what did you do?" Simone egged her on.  
  
"Yeah, Charity, do tell," Kay chimed in.  
  
"Look, I was trying to help. I just don't like seeing my family upset. And I thought that HE was upsetting her...."  
  
"Uh-oh. Charity, ummm, is Miguel in one piece at least?" Simone asked playfully.  
  
Kay snorted. "Barely," she muttered enough for Simone to hear her and enough to get a sharp look from Charity.  
  
"So I kinda... umm... I uh.... I slapped him, okay?"  
  
Kay couldn't contain herself any longer. "You WHAT?!" she hooted, bouncing up to demonstrate. "So she comes barreling up, growling in this deep, disembodied man voice, callin' him a bastard and such and winds up and lets him have it. Simone, I swear, he's gonna have a hand print across his face for another week." Kay sobered slightly and continued. "And to think, his one true love gave it to him."  
  
"WHAT?!" screamed Charity and Simone.  
  
"Oh come off it Charity, that's why you've been actin' funny since last night, and you know it," Kay said. She turned to Simone to explain. "You wouldn't have believed it, I'm just glad it's finals time and most people were inside the library and not standing outside of it near us. I was grabbing Miguel to pull him away from Mighty Mouse over there as her hand hit his cheek and we were all thrown backwards while, you'll never believe this, I'm sure," Kay threw in facetiously, "Blue light flashed all around us. Miguel thought it was just Charity's slap and me pulling on him," she paused for effect, "But it was really just a sign of true love smacking him and Wonder Woman in the face, literally."  
  
"Kay!" Charity was shocked. "That's not what happened at all!" Charity was bright red from having to relive the moment when she had unfairly attacked her cousin's boyfriend and Kay's implication was making the blush deepen quickly. "I thought we were here to discuss someone else discovering our familial blue thing, but I guess I was wrong," Charity said, hurt by Kay's teasing. "You know, it's a serious thing when outsiders find out about this," she continued gathering her purse and jacket. "I would think that you would take it more seriously, too, Kay, since it has caused you so much trouble with Nicholas." Charity regretted the barb the minute it was out of her mouth, and sank back down in the sofa, letting her things drop softly beside it onto the floor.  
  
All of the mirth fled Kay's face as she quickly sobered. She wasn't really hurt by Charity's careless words. She was, however, shocked to hear such hurtful things coming out of her sweet as sugar cousin's mouth. She leaned back into the plush chair she was sitting in with a thoughtful look on her face. Something about Charity's reaction seemed familiar to her. A lot like Nicholas's reaction, in fact.  
  
Simone had decided that enough was enough. She wasn't going to sit back and let the two cousins pick on each other all night, especially when things were taking a hurtful turn for the worse. "Oh stuff it, both of you. Kay, don't pick on Charity, she's right about one thing," Kay looked at Simone shocked. "Don't look at me in that tone of voice, she IS partially right. With all that nonsense with Nicky dear, you should know how difficult it is to realize that someone you barely know is your true love and cut Charity a little slack."  
  
Charity's jaw dropped. "Simone!" she practically howled. "Miguel is NOT my true love. The blue light thing happened because of Kay and I he was just a... uh... a conduit, yeah... he was just a conduit."  
  
Kay and Simone shared a smirk. "Riiiiiiight," Simone reached over to pat Charity's hand consolingly. "A uh... conduit. Now, tell me, Charity, have you ever experienced this err... 'conduit phenomenon' before?"  
  
Charity's red complexion returned. "Well, no, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen last night."  
  
"Charity, I don't understand why you're in such denial about this. I mean, you were there, Miguel and I aren't together anymore and it ended on fairly amicable terms. Do you not like him or something?"  
  
Charity paused a moment to interpret her own fears, now that someone had pointed them out to her. "I don't know, I mean, Kay, you guys broke up and all, but that's just tacky... and besides, I don't even know Miguel."  
  
"Well, that's easy enough to fix..." Kay began and then had a slow-coming second thought. "Oh wait, he's prolly not inclined to see you at the moment..." at Simone's Look, she added quickly, "But I mean, that's gonna blow over soon, it has to, right? You two are meant for each other..." she finished weakly.  
  
Charity knew it was more than what she was saying keeping her from accepting this new thing with Miguel. It was the secret that she'd been keeping from herself for a couple of weeks now. She really did like Miguel, she was just scared out of her mind about how he would react to learning about the blue light and all that came with it. The best way to avoid the problem that Kay was having with Nicholas was to avoid Miguel and the situation entirely.  
  
Simone sensed Charity's reticence was genuine and not some temporary fear, so she forced a change in subject. "Okay, so now that I have an idea of what has happened, can we go downstairs and get milkshakes or what?" Both Kay and Charity were ready to change the subject, so they followed Simone's lead down the apartment stairs to Haven. Chapter Twenty-One  
  
"Hey, Kay, what's goin' on?" some guy she thinks may be called Brad asked, as he stood too close for her comfort.  
  
"Nothing much at all," she said, firmly planting her hands on his chest and pushing. Once word of her break-up with Miguel had spread, guys were comin' out of nowhere to flirt with her. And now that she had finally made it through her sophomore year in college, Kay wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone, especially not the semi-drunk loser that attempted to dance with her now.  
  
"Hey uhh... Brad?" she looked at him questioningly.  
  
A little of his bravado fell as he responded, "Um, it's Bruce."  
  
Kay grinned sheepishly, "Right, Bruce, sorry. It's the end of the year and I'd love to get to know you better, but I'm going home this summer and don't want to start anything new, ya know?"  
  
Bruce, who knew a dismissal when he heard it, decided to be graceful about it. "Yeah, sure, I gotcha," he responded vaguely and wandered off, moving on to his next potential companion for the evening.  
  
Kay caught Simone's eye across the room and grinned. She made her way over to stand next to her friend. "Hey, you. How come you're not out there shakin' what your mama gave you like you normally do?" Kay asked. She suspected that Simone was seeing someone and purposefully not letting her friends in on the secret, but she couldn't figure out why.  
  
"Oh, I'd be out there if this song were, ya know, a good song," Simone replied back.  
  
"Hey guys, what's up?" said Charity as she joined them. "Kinda lame pickin' tonight, huh?" Ever since the incident with Miguel, Charity had hit the dating scene full force, never taking anyone seriously, but definitely making the rounds. With her flaxen blond hair and bright blue eyes, Charity had no problems keeping her weekends full, especially since Kay's dessert habits had worn off on her and she'd put on a little weight, rounding out her once emaciated figure.  
  
"Yeah, what do you guys say? It's our last night on campus, want to spend it somewhere with people we actually want to see?" Kay asked.  
  
"Absolutely," Simone agreed quickly. "Let's get outa here."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay, guys, let's go around and spill our summer plans," Simone said. The women had gone over to Haven and were sitting in a back room. One the way over, they had called Miguel and Reese, who brought their friend Chad along. Simone, happy that almost all of her favorite people were in one place, was anxious to begin her summer plotting.  
  
"I've got this great deal to put in studio time for an album I'm working on here this summer. There are also rumors of a night club in the works in the area, so I'm talking to people about having a regular dj gig there." He surreptitiously looked over at Simone.  
  
She hid her grin behind a napkin as she pretended to wipe her mouth. Only Reese caught the private exchange, and he decided to file it away for future mischief purposes.  
  
"Chad, that's awesome," Kay said. "Well, I'm still trying to decide whether I want to stay here as a research assistant or go back to Harmony..."  
  
"Dude, Kay, what the hell? You've gotta go back to Harmony, I've gotta meet..." Reese's voice faded as he realized that everyone was looking at him with amused glances. "Um, I mean, I'm going to see this Harmony for the first time, it'll be weird with just this joker over here showing me around," he finished lamely.  
  
"Kay, do whatever the hell you want, Reese will be fine in Harmony. Besides, we're only going there for a couple of weeks. I've gotta get back and take those summer classes," Miguel put in.  
  
Charity perked up at this tidbit of information. "Oh, really, Miguel? You're going to be here this summer? That's cool. I'll uh.... be around too."  
  
Miguel looked over at her interested. "Really? That's awesome, it'll be great getting to know more of Kay's family... even if said member of family is a bit too over protective." Charity blushed furiously and apologized again for hitting him.  
  
"Yeah, well, over-protective or not, she's not the branch of the family I'm interested in getting to know," Reese muttered.  
  
Kay whacked him softly. "Reese, Miguel will introduce you to my sister. She'll get a kick out of having a love-sick college guy following her around, I'm sure..." Kay grew thoughtful. "Come to think of it, my mom is always looking for help around the B'n'B that she runs. When you get there, you should tell her you're interested; it would give you an excuse to hang around Jessica... I mean Harmony, all summer." Kay grinned wickedly.  
  
Reese grinned back. "Unlike the rest of you chumps, I am not in denial about my emotions, I'm more than willing to admit that Jessica Bennett greatly intrigues me. Thanks for the tip, Kay."  
  
"Speaking of being in denial about emotions," Simone chimed in, "Kay, I'm surprised that you'd consider going back to Harmony considering who else might be in town."  
  
Kay looked at Simone, a little confused, "You mean he's going home? I thought he hated home?!"  
  
Miguel, uncomfortable still with the thought of his best friend and Nicholas together, especially after hearing a little bit about the way the jerk had been treating her, decided that now was the perfect time to pull Charity aside to discuss a plan that was forming in his head. "Hey Charity, can I talk to you for a sec?"  
  
Charity nearly bumped her leg on the edge of the table in surprise. She'd been avoiding making eye contact with Miguel all night. Not only was she still supremely embarrassed about hitting him, but she also wasn't sure how one was supposed to act around a soul mate that one didn't really know. "Uhh, sure Miguel, why don't we head to the bar for refills?" The two of them got everyone's order and wandered over to the bar lining one wall of the front room.  
  
Kay was still looking at Simone, willing her to give up more information. "You think that Nicholas is going to be in Harmony this summer?"  
  
"I'm saying nothing of the sort," Simone said indignantly. "Nicholas doesn't know what his plans are yet. I'm just suggesting that you might want to work things out with him before you both end up bumping into each other all the time in that small town."  
  
"I am not going to spend all summer bumping into him having awkward moments," Kay said.  
  
"So you're gonna work things out with him?" Simone said, injecting hopefulness into her voice.  
  
"No," Kay said, sure of her plans now. "I'm going to take that research assistant position here. You wouldn't be saying that we were going to bump into each other in Harmony if he wasn't going to be there." Kay saw Miguel and Charity struggling at the bar to carry all their drinks. "I'm gonna go help the two goofballs over there with our order."  
  
As Kay walked away, Chad looked at Simone grinning widely. "You know damned well that Nicholas is staying and continuing as a TA this summer..."  
  
Reese laughed out loud at this bit of information.  
  
Simone smirked. "She should be working things out on her own, and if she doesn't, it's my responsibility to manipulate her into doing it."  
  
"Now that's an attitude I can admire," Reese put in.  
  
Miguel, Charity, and Kay returned with the drinks. Kay was grinning broadly and Charity looked nervous.  
  
"Hey guys, guess what?" Kay started.  
  
"Hey, woman, let us tell our own news," Miguel interrupted her. "Charity and I are going to be living together this summer."  
  
"Wait, Miguel, you said we were going to split an apt. together," Chad began. Under the table, Simone pinched his leg. "Errrr, never mind," he said. "I'm sure I can find somewhere else to crash."  
  
"Oh, no, Miguel, you didn't tell me that!" Charity began to protest.  
  
"Oh please, Chad is just trying to make me feel guilty. The thing is, I found this great apartment that I'd have to move into right away to hold, but since I'm going home for a couple of weeks, my apartment-mate would have to hold it. Chad said he'd like to stay with me, but since I'm going to be going to classes during the day and he's doing this dj thing, our conflicting hours would make both of us miserable, which is why he KNEW I was looking for someone else."  
  
Chad jumped in, "He's right, Charity, I was just pulling his leg."  
  
Simone added, "And I know someone Chad can bunk with."  
  
Kay looked confused, "What a second Simone, I'm staying with you, right?"  
  
"Yes, of course," Simone agreed. "You don't think I'd stay with a perfect stranger, do you? I barely know this Chad character." Now, it was Chad's turn to pinch her under the table. "Chad can stay with Shawn, the assistant manager here at Haven. He's got an extra room and his Haven hours are the same as Chad's would be."  
  
Kay, realizing that Charity had somehow been roped into living with Miguel, began to see the beauty of the summer arrangements. "Well, that's great that you two could help each other out like that," she said to Charity and Miguel. "I know Charity was desperate about finding somewhere to crash."  
  
Charity groaned internally, knowing where Kay's head was. "It is convenient," she acknowledged. "I couldn't have stayed with Simone another summer," Charity was warming up to subtly getting back at her friends' matchmaking. "The woman is crazy, and since Kay is crazy too, I figured they'd work better together."  
  
Kay dipped her fingers in the water pitcher on the table and calmly flicked some at Charity.  
  
Simone looked over the faces of her friends as they began an extremely undignified water fight in her establishment and thought to herself that it was going to be a fabulously interesting summer.  
  
Chapter Twenty-Two  
  
"Welcome to Harmony, Reese," Pilar, Miguel's mother, greeted him as he and Miguel walked out of their train onto the platform. "It's great to see you again; I hope you'll make yourself at home here for the next couple of weeks." She looked over at her son, Luis, who was clapping his brother on the back, hard enough for his luggage to tumble to the dirty platform. "Luis, stop fooling around and help Reese with his umm..." Pilar looked at the massive amount of loosely packed junk Reese was struggling with and quickly ran through the English for such a large amount of stuff. Nothing came to mind. "With his things. Teresa," she called to her daughter who was standing back and enjoying the spectacle, "show Miguel his new nephew once Luis is done whacking all of the sense out of him."  
  
"Resa, I can't believe you're a mama now!" Miguel shouted at his sister, who winced as Ethan, Jr. began to screech in reaction to all the commotion. "I suppose you'll be actin' all calm instead of the wild woman I left behind."  
  
Teresa grinned and answered, "Not on your life. In fact, let me tell you about some of the going's on around sleepy old Harmony while you were gone..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So wait, my nephew is Kay's nephew since Ethan, your husband, is Kay's brother? So we're like siblings in law or something? And Ethan isn't a Crane, Luis married Beth, Hank married Gwen, Sheridan is dating Noah, and she thinks no one knows, but the whole town does, and all of this is in addition to the madness that is now Kay's family tree?"  
  
"Miguel, you knew about all those weddings as they happened! College isn't exactly a vacuum, you know, and we do have the internet in lil ol' Harmony," Teresa responded to his pretended confusion.  
  
Miguel laughed. "I know, Rese, I just like saying it all at once. It reminds me of that silly soap you, Jess, and Kay, used to watch all the time, what was it called?"  
  
"It still is called Days of Our Lives and it is not stupid. Well, it wasn't stupid until they took off a whole family, Kay, did you know that they totally cut off the Wesley family a few months ago?" she asked her new sister-in-law as the woman joined them at their kitchen table.  
  
"I KNOW! I can't believe it! And now they're trying to ease us into the idea of Brady and Nicole as a couple. Girl, this is not All My Children, we do not need real married couples to be couples in the soap..."  
  
"I KNOW!" Teresa responded, launching into a tirade about the recent happenings on their favorite teen-age years soap opera.  
  
Miguel, not wanting to admit that he too knew enough about Days to rant on his own, decided to check on Reese. He had introduced his friend to Jess after dinner last night and when he woke up this morning, Pilar told him that Reese had gone straight over to the Bennett's.  
  
As he walked through his hedge, through Tabitha's yard, and looped around their backyard to the Bennett's front door, Miguel chuckled to himself. Harmony certainly wasn't the typical sleepy backwoods town. He wondered who would open the door when he knocked.  
  
"Miguel! What in the world are you doing at the front door? And ringing the bell?!" Grace Bennett greeted him. "Come on in, silly!"  
  
"Sorry to throw you off, Mrs. Bennett, but I wasn't sure with all the excitement around here recently who would be here and who I might scare by bargin' in like I normally do."  
  
"Well, if you're looking for Reese, he and Jess just left to go on a tour of the 'sites,'" she winked as she said this, "but do come in, there's someone else I'd like you to meet." she finished.  
  
As Miguel stepped into the living room, he was tempted to rub his eyes and blink several times, but he restrained from doing so. "Oh wow," he said, "I knew you were twins, but geez, Mrs. Bennett, how do you even know you're you standing there when you're also sitting on the sofa?"  
  
The woman on the sofa laughed a familiar laugh at that. "You must be Miguel," the woman said, in a voice that was Grace's, but different, too. "I'm Faith Standish, and these two..." she gestured at two men sitting on the other two chairs in the room, "are my husband David Hastings, and our son, John," she finished the introductions.  
  
"It's very nice to meet you all," Miguel said. "I guess Charity has told you that we're renting an apartment together this summer..." he began without thinking, and then winced internally as he realized that he'd just set himself up for an interrogation from Charity's father and older brother.  
  
David stood up to his full 6'2" stature. "Yes, we did hear something like that, boy," he began in a rumbling Australian accent.  
  
From the chair across from Mr. Hastings, Miguel heard what he thought was a snort from John. Mrs. Standish interrupted her husband, "Oh quit that, David," she said as she chucked a pillow in his direction, "Let the boy alone."  
  
Miguel noticed something funny about Mrs. Standish's accent, but couldn't place it yet. "Mr. Hastings, we're renting a two bedroom apartment, I met Charity through Kay, who I grew up with, and I have nothing..." Miguel, sure this time that he'd heard a snicker from John stopped short his nervous explanations. Mrs. Standish and Faith were both grinning broadly.  
  
"Oh, Miguel, do not explain yourself to my husband, he's just teasing you. We Brits are a fair bit more liberal when it comes to letting our children go at the proper age."  
  
David, giving up the pretense of the over-protective father, interjected, "You Brits are a might bit more liberal all around, I'm still trying to get this flower child to take my last name and stop having the whole world think we're living in sin and unmarried."  
  
So that was the slight accent he noticed in Mrs. Standish, and also the last name difference both she and Charity had. He was suddenly confused again as he thought about Grace's voice. "Wait, but Mrs. Bennett, you don't have..."  
  
"I know," Grace put in, "It's actually pretty funny. When I got my memory back, I remembered that Faith and I used to spend hours laughing at the American accent while we were at college here in the US, and I always had it better than she did. One of the things that made it difficult for me to find my family was that when Sam found me, I just imitated the accent I heard and assumed it was mine, so no one knew my family was British. I always did do a great impersonation of a British accent," she switched to it now, "only, it turned out that it was my natural one."  
  
"We've been living in the US since I graduated from college, which is why my entire family has that atrocious American thing going on," Faith finished lightly.  
  
"Wow," Miguel said, thoughtfully. "Then it really is a miracle that you found each other. How did it happen? One of those services?"  
  
"Oh no," said John, speaking up for the first time, "Kay and Charity did that..." he trailed off at the sharp looks from the rest of his family.  
  
Miguel asked the question they were all dreading. "How'd they manage that if they didn't know the other existed?" Come to think of it, he thought to himself, Kay always has been a little vague about this.  
  
Grace answered quickly, "It was actually a bit parent-trap-ish and dreadfully boring," she said, maintaining her light accent, which Miguel found charming. "They met through their friend, Simone, I think her name is, and Kay found a picture of who she thought was me in Charity's room, and it, of course, turned out to be Faith. Everything kind of happened from there."  
  
"We're spending the summer here to get to know each other," Faith finished.  
  
"Oh, and they do that a lot now," John added. "The whole finishing each other's thoughts thing. They think it's cute. Miguel, tell them that mother's aren't supposed to be cute."  
  
Miguel grinned. "Oh, no buddy, you'll get no help from me there. But hey, dude, you wanna come help me track down Reese and Jessica? I'm not buying this whole tour of Harmony thing for a second; it could be lots more fun, and much safer, than picking with your mother and aunt."  
  
John smiled back and popped up. "Sounds like a plan."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Father, I am not here to stay, no need to worry your pretty head about that," Nicholas said as he faced Julian in his study. "You hear that, grandfather?" he said louder.  
  
"Look Fox," Julian began, "No one cares how long you stay here, just as long as you don't bother us with your simpering liberal habits."  
  
"Yes, Nicky," came Alistair's disembodied voice. "You are always welcome here; it is your home too. We just ask that you maintain some sense of decorum rather than ranting about your ideals and getting the servants riled up. Last time, we had five quit on us."  
  
Nicholas winced at the nicknames his family used. He thought instantly of Kay, who had instinctively called him by his full name, one he only preferred because no one in this house called him by it.  
  
"I am not in the mood for rabble rousing, so no need to worry your perfect silvery gray hairs about me," Nicholas shot back. "I'm just getting my things, all of them this time. You won't be hearing from me again," he finished. Ethan being illegitimate doesn't mean that he gets to have all the fun and leave these nuts behind, he thought as he turned to leave the room.  
  
"Oh, just a minute, Nicky," Alistair called. "What do you mean by that? Surely you realize that as heir, you have to reside here once you're done fooling around with that liberal arts education of yours. I will not finance your pursuits without some return indefinitely."  
  
"Oh, come now, Father," Julian said, taking pity on his son, trouble maker that he was. "Surely Fox doesn't have to be trapped here like..."  
  
"He most certainly does have to be. Since I have to travel around handling things in person, we need someone here at the mansion maintaining a base of operations, and that someone will be Nicky once he gets his graduate degree."  
  
Julian gave his son a look that said, "I tried." "Very well," Julian said aloud. "Fox, you should leave behind all non-essentials for the summer so that you can return here in the fall to begin your training."  
  
Nicholas was livid. Once again, his grandfather was casually planning his happiness away. "And what if I choose not to be heir?" he shouted back to his father and omnipresent grandfather.  
  
"Then we will revoke your trust fund..." Alistair began over the intercom.  
  
"I'm living off my grants right now, I haven't touched it for myself in years," Nicholas shot back.  
  
"Oh, but you didn't let me finish," Alistair said snidely. "We will revoke your trust fund and collect the money that you've got tied up in those investments of yours."  
  
"You can't do that! There are a lot of people who depend on those investments!" Nicholas practically screamed.  
  
"Then you better not disappoint them by shirking your familial duties," Alistair replied calmly, infuriating Nicholas more.  
  
"Father, please, there's no need to be so harsh with the boy," Julian interjected. "Fox, it would behoove you to see things your grandfather's way and perhaps attempt a small compromise. Perhaps about beginning in the fall?"  
  
Nicholas looked at his father in astonishment. As he peered closely, he noticed more gray hair and fine lines on his face than had been there last year when Nicholas made his annual visit home. Perhaps, Nicholas thought, losing Ethan had taken its toll on his father. "Very well, Father," he allowed, and then directed his voice upwards so that Alistair could hear him clearly. "Although my teaching assistant-ship is over this summer, I have not finished writing my dissertation. If I can put off returning here permanently until that is finished, I will consider having talks about the terms of my permanent employment with Crane Enterprises."  
  
"Fine," Alistair replied succinctly and disconnected audibly from the mansion speaker system.  
  
"Thank you, Father," said Nicholas.  
  
"You know, son, it isn't too late for us to find allies in all of this in each other," Julian said mysteriously.  
  
"What does that mean?" asked Nicholas, wary of any hidden games his father might be playing.  
  
"I haven't been totally ignoring your investments, Fox," Julian said dryly. "And it occurs to me that I have a hobby that might help you out in this latest venture..."  
  
Chapter Twenty-Three  
  
"You have got to be joking," Simone said to Nicholas as she sat in her apartment listening to his relaying over the phone of his most recent conversation with his father and grandfather. "I can't believe that he threatened you like that!"  
  
"I know, it was pretty bad, even for grandfather," Nicholas replied. "But at least we've come to a compromise. I should be back in town this weekend; we should meet to discuss this in more detail, especially my father's weird personality change."  
  
"Oh, that'd be great!" Simone shouted, and then lowered her voice as Kay, who was sitting nearby sipping coffee, looked up interested. "I'd love to get together this weekend, call my cell later tonight and we'll discuss." Simone quickly disconnected. She didn't want Kay getting all worked up about her continued communication with Nicholas.  
  
"Who was that?" Kay asked. She was determined to discover the identity of Simone's mystery man... and she was absolutely sure that there was a mystery man.  
  
"No one special," Simone replied vaguely. "Just some guy who wanted to know how to find Haven. I told him and then he said he'd be there this weekend, so I told him that'd be great."  
  
"Riiiiiiight," Kay said, pretending to let it go. When Simone got up to get her own mug of coffee, she quickly wrote down the number on the caller ID and stuck it in her purse. She noted the Harmony area code with interest. This definitely bore some further research.  
  
"So what are you up to this weekend?" Kay asked her.  
  
"Ummm... nothing special... but I've got to work at Haven since my hostess left town for the summer and we haven't hired a replacement yet." she added quickly when Kay looked ready to ask her to do something. She had to meet with Nicholas, but she didn't want Kay to know that.  
  
"Oh, that's cool. AWARE is having a summer retreat, so I thought you might want to tag along and see what it's all about," Kay responded.  
  
"Kay, you weirdo, I know what it's about, you gave Charity and reports of your latest cause after every meeting. It's good stuff, and I would go, except I've been so busy with Haven lately," Simone answered, feeling guilty for slightly deceiving her friend.  
  
"Simone, are you sure it's just Haven that's been keeping you busy? There's no one new and special in your life?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.  
  
"Oh man, I'll be glad when Charity gets back from her Protestant retreat," Simone equivocated. "Then all your nosiness will be directed at her and Miguel and you'll stop imagining that something is going on with me."  
  
Kay saw that she was getting nowhere fast with her direct line of questioning and so she let Simone off the hook and decided that more subtle snooping was required. "Whatever you say, Simone," she said aloud. "At any rate, if you were seeing someone, hypothetically speaking, of course, I'll be out of your hair all weekend. We're leaving on Friday and won't be back from the boondocks until Sunday evening."  
  
"Kay, I'm telling you, I'm going to be busy downstairs at Haven all weekend, so time for the hanky-panky you seem to think I'll be getting into."  
  
"Riiiiiiiight," Kay answered, letting her response drag out to show that she wasn't buying it. "Well," she said thoughtfully, "maybe it is a bit of wishful thinking on my part... you really need to get some chica..." She ducked as a burgundy pillow came flying at her. She ran into her room as Simone chased her with a gold sham as a weapon.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Dammit, dammit, dammit," Kay muttered to herself as she walked from the corner where the big yellow bus had dropped her off back to her and Simone's place. I can't believe they double booked us, those hick something-or-others, she thought angrily to herself. It was 11pm on a Saturday night and she was fighting mad and grungy from the six hour bus ride to and from the retreat site that had forgotten AWARE's booking. "At least I can go to my Haven," she said, snickering out loud a bit about her unintended pun. "Oh hush," she said, as the homeless person she was walking by gave her a strange look. Instantly, guilt overwhelmed her and she ran into the all-night deli on the next corner, and then back to the man to give him the sandwich she had bought with her last few dollars. "I've gotta start this research assistant position soon," she said to herself as she looked morosely at her empty wallet.  
  
As she approached Haven and her apartment, she decided to go through the lounge first, to see how Simone was holding up. Summer nights were always insane. As she entered Haven, she was surprised to see the assistant manager filling in at the front. "Hey Shawn," she said to the brown-haired fill-in host. "Where's Simone?"  
  
"She's in the back room, but she said she didn't want to be disturbed."  
  
"I'll just pop in and let her know I'm home a day early," Kay said as she wandered through the mishmash of sofas and chairs to the back room area. She saw the door was ajar and decided to peek in to make sure she wasn't interrupting anything important.  
  
"Nicholas, you're joking!!!" she saw her apartment mate and friend jump into Nicholas's lap and give him a giant hug. "I am so happy you're with me on this..." Simone continued.  
  
Kay felt sick. She stumbled backwards from the doorway and made her way up the backstairs to her apartment. After fumbling for a few minutes with the lock, she rushed straight to her room and shut the door, as if she were shutting out the sight of her friend on Nicholas's lap. She attempted to banish the memory through sheer force of will and could not. She attempted to scream out her frustration and could not. She even thought of calling Charity and trying to make their blue connection work over the phone lines, but realized that it probably wouldn't heal emotional hurt as readily as it knit bones. Finally, mercifully, sleep over came her and she dozed fitfully, fully dressed on top of her covers.  
  
When her aching joints forced her out of her light dream state a few hours later, Kay began to reason out what she had seen. After all, Nicholas and Simone had been friends for a year or so, and she hadn't seen them kissing or anything. And how many times had she jumped on Miguel when she was excited about something? I just have to ask Simone to explain what I saw, Kay reasoned. I over-reacted, it was innocent. She quickly glanced over at the clock and saw that it was just past two in the morning. The crowd at Haven would be thinning out and Simone should be leaving things to the early shift hostess now, that is if she was done with her "business" in the backroom. Kay threw on a t-shirt and shorts and ran down the backstairs in her slippers. She walked into Haven and saw Shawn cleaning up, while Amber, the early shift hostess, greeted bleary eyed customers seeking coffee after a long night of drinking.  
  
"Hey, Shawn, what's up?" she asked, not wanting to be rude by asking about Simone immediately a second time.  
  
"Oh, hey, Kay," he said, looking up from sweeping. "Just got the last drunk guy out and in a cab. God bless last calls. I can't wait to head home."  
  
"Oh man, I feel you," Kay said, attempting to push her worries out of her mind so she could empathize with Shawn.  
  
Shawn looked her up and down and replied, "Right, Kay. Clearly you have no idea what I'm feeling. Are those bedroom slippers you have on?" To let her know he was joking, he flicked her lightly with a bit of dishwater from the sink behind the bar.  
  
"Oh, that's gross, Shawn," Kay yelped. "But you're right, I did just roll out of bed. Have you seen my roommie anywhere?"  
  
"Oh, I see how it is," he responded. "You just come to me to make small talk and then to track down folks." His face turned serious. "Actually, Kay, I'm kinda worried about Simone. She seems to be lowering her work time here, we rarely see her, but when she is here, she's still dog tired and she always looks wired about something."  
  
Kay too was growing concerned. "Well, that's kinda why I want to see her now," she told Shawn. "She's been acting really mysterious. I thought she just had a new man she was trying to hide, but if what you're saying is true, there may be more to it than that."  
  
"Well, she left a little while ago with Nicholas, but when you do have a talk with her, let me know if there's anything I can help with," Shawn said as he moved away to finish cleaning up the place.  
  
Kay was extremely conflicted. On one hand, she felt guilty that Shawn, who was not Simone's best friend, seemed a ton more worried about her friend than she did, and on the other, she was supremely pissed to learn that Simone had left Haven with Nicholas, leaving Shawn to clean up after the peak crowd on his own. As she stomped back up to the apartment and back into bed and then as she drifted to sleep, she let thousands of scenarios run through her head about what could be up with her friend.  
  
Chapter Twenty-Four  
  
"Kay, what the hell are you doing here?" Simone asked as she wandered bleary-eyed into the apartment the next morning. Kay was up with her standard mug of coffee that she would slurp from all day, and Simone took a step back from the glare that she received in response.  
  
"Or should I be asking what the hell's the matter with you?" Simone amended.  
  
"Where have you been all night?" Kay asked, ignoring Simone's questions.  
  
Simone thought fast. She couldn't come up with a lie quick enough, so she told a half-truth. "Well, I decided to take your advice and get some..." As she saw the thunderclouds swamp her friend's face, she realized that she'd told the wrong half of the truth. She looked around the room as the apartment's climate grew uncomfortable, as if lightening was just containing itself from striking. She looked back to Kay alarmed. "Kay, calm down, what's the matter with you? What did I do?"  
  
"I saw you at Haven last night with Nicholas. Did you just happen to pick him for your getting some activities last night?" Her voice was calm enough to frighten Simone.  
  
"Kay!" Simone was shocked. And a little embarrassed. She couldn't believe that she'd been so careless about being seen with Nicholas. She'd have to have a talk with Shawn about the meaning of the phrase "do not disturb." To Kay, she continued, "Kay, I can't believe you'd think something like that!"  
  
Kay, feeling Simone's mild rebuke, calmed slightly. "What am I supposed to think, Simone? You walk around acting all mysterious, you LIE about working at Haven, poor Shawn is worried because you look haggard all the time, and when I go to check on you in the middle of the night, he tells me you left with Nicholas and then you don't come back until the next morning!"  
  
Simone realized that the jig had to be up or she was going to be seriously in danger of losing Kay's friendship, not to mention all her glassware, which was vibrating dangerously in response to Kay's anger.  
  
"Okay, Kay, just calm down and I'll explain everything."  
  
Kay, seeing that she was finally going to get her way, took a few deep breaths to calm herself and reined in the blue that was palpable in the room. "Okay, Simone, but no half truths this time."  
  
"Okay, I'll tell you as much as I can, but really, some of this doesn't just affect me," she threw in. "Other people are dependent upon this stuff remaining fairly confidential."  
  
Kay was even more mollified to realize that there was a reason behind her being left out of the loop. But only slightly. "Simone, stop stalling, you know I won't tell, just give."  
  
"Okay, okay!" Simone took a deep breath. "Nicholas is the main financial backer of Haven, Kay. And not just Haven, but Earth, too," she paused to let that sink in.  
  
"The Crane money, right?" Kay asked. "And what the hell is Earth?"  
  
"Not exactly the Crane money, but his trust fund. Since he can support himself off his research grants, he used to hand over his allowances to Haven, until it became solvent. He's probably made a lot more than he gave me originally, but we've been having talks again because I'm expanding... I want to open a night club called 'Earth' and last night, Nicholas told me about a venue we can make-over that his family already owns. It's an old jazz club downtown, apparently Nicholas's dad used to run it for kicks or something and then let it go out of business when he married Nicholas's mother..." Simone was getting into her descriptions, excited to finally be telling Kay about her plans.  
  
"Oh!" Kay shouted. "Haven and Earth, like Heaven and Earth, I get it!" she screamed triumphantly.  
  
"Good Kay," Simone responded dryly. "Now focus. You know Miguel's friend, Chad? Well, he's going to be my star DJ, only his scholarship to the University says that he can't work because it's to cover living expenses so he can concentrate on school. We're trying to work out something so he can get course-work credit for the experience, but since nothing is final, no one can know he's working with us on this."  
  
"You're dating Chad!" Kay vocalized at the same time that she came to that realization.  
  
Simone blushed, "Kay, Chad's a great guy and..."  
  
"Where did you sleep last night, Simone?" Kay interrupted.  
  
"Okay, fine, Chad and I are dating," Simone acknowledged. "But you and Charity are so excitable and drama just follows you guys around, I wanted to keep this safe and normal."  
  
"Oh, now I'm hurt," Kay said, pouting. She put down her coffee on the kitchen table and inched towards the living room as she spoke. "Charity and I don't ask for drama, it just sort of follows us," she said, maintaining her pout and still moving backwards.  
  
"Be that as it may," Simone began, "You two are still the reining drama quee..." she stopped talking as she realized Kay's destination. "Oh no you don't, you heifer you," she yelped as she dived for cover behind the sofa that Kay had just grabbed a cushion from. "And that's another thing," she continued, reaching for a cushion of her own, "Why must you two always resort to violence? Can't we just have one conversation that doesn't end in a pillow... oomph... fight?" she said between swinging blows.  
  
"OHO!" Kay hooted. "Is this the same peace lover that kicked me off a bench and damn near broke my leg?!"  
  
"Always bringin' up old stuff," Simone said, as she ducked another of Kay's well-aimed swings. "Why must you always bring up the past?" She retaliated, quickly enough to catch Kay's arm.  
  
"Simone, you know what?" Kay said, pausing her swinging and waiting for Simone to do the same. "You're full of shit," Kay finished, ducking as Simone aimed for one last blow.  
  
Chapter Twenty-Five  
  
"Charity! I'm so glad you're back, this nut case beside me has been verbally and physically abusing me," Kay said as she hugged her cousin. "She called me a heifer and she's always attacking me with sofa cushions and..." Kay was cut off as a rag from behind the bar counter at Haven hit her on the side of her head. "SEE?!?!" she squealed. "Evidence!!"  
  
"Kay, what have you been doing to make such a sweet person do such terrible things?" Charity asked back. She was immediately pulled into a bear hug from Simone, who had scrambled over the counter after hearing Charity's response.  
  
"That's why I love this one more than you, Kay," she said. "She sees reason." Simone released Charity and turned the other woman so they were facing each other. "Charity, my dear, Kay has been a royal pain... noseying around in my business, getting my employees all worried...."  
  
"Oh snap, speaking of employment, I'd better run to work, it's my first day, I can't be late!" Kay said, springing into action. "Charity, I'll debunk all of her unjust accusations when I get back," she said over her shoulder as she left Haven.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kay stood in front of her favorite professor, anxiously awaiting her first assignment as a research assistant.  
  
"Well, Kay, your timing is perfect. My TA will should be here any minute to get started. I need you to start off this summer by tracking down recommended supplementary readings for my course this summer and the ones I teach during the fall too. Since the TA has handled the classes before, you two should work together in the beginning."  
  
Kay gulped, and the knot that was in her stomach as a result of first-day- on the-job nerves blossomed quickly into a full-body case of the jitters. "Um, did you say TA?"  
  
Her professor looked at her strangely. "Yes, Kay, that's what I said," realization dawned on the older woman. "Oh, that's right, you were in the class last fall, do you remember the TA?"  
  
"Nicholas," Kay said through clenched teeth, visions of Simone screaming from torture dancing behind her eyes.  
  
"Kay," said an obnoxiously familiar voice from behind her. "I didn't...."  
  
The professor beamed. "Oh good, you do know each other. You should work well together then. Nicholas knows what to do; you two can go ahead and get started." She looked down at the manuscript she was working on, clearly indicating that they should begin immediately.  
  
They left the office and stared at each other in the hall.  
  
"Before you accuse me of somehow engineering this, let me just say that I didn't realize that you were going to be working with me on this, much less in town this summer," Kay burst out finally.  
  
"I find that hard to believe," Nicholas began, attempting to cover his own shameful delight in seeing Kay. "Simone knew I was going to be here; I can't imagine that she wouldn't have told you."  
  
At the mention of Simone's name, Kay's features grew grim and the air around them began to crackle. "Yes, Simone, that little wench, you'd think she would have told me that you were going to be here, but she didn't, so don't go putting this mess on me, you little twerp," she exploded. "And for that matter, why the hell didn't she tell you that I was going to be here since my presence clearly aggravates you so much?" Kay continued ranting as Nicholas grasped her arm and led her into his office down the hall.  
  
Exasperated with Kay's temper and that stupid blue thing that followed her around like a plague, Nicholas sighed deeply as he sat down in the chair behind his desk, and after sitting Kay down on a couch opposite him, he rubbed his forehead as if in pain.  
  
Kay stopped her ranting as she noticed him reaching into his desk and pulling out a container of aspirin. "Look, you, don't sit over there getting all melodramatic and patronizing with that damned bottle of aspirin like my very presence gives you a headache," she began again.  
  
"Dammit Kay, you're fussing at me about melodrama and the glass that my diploma is covered by is in severe danger of shattering because of your temper," Nicholas said, raising his voice to be heard above Kay.  
  
"Well... uh.... well, if you would stop accusing me of things, I wouldn't get so angry," Kay said reasonably.  
  
Nicholas blushed at this. He really did like pushing her buttons, it was just the blue thing that always seemed to be in the air around her that he couldn't tolerate. "Okay, Kay, I promise to stop antagonizing you if you promise to try to control that blue thing, or whatever you call it."  
  
Kay was thoughtful. "Nicholas, I know you don't want to deal with this, but I'm not sure I can control it around you; it's not something I'm doing to intentionally freak you out," she responded.  
  
"Okay, okay, I give," said Nicholas. "Understanding that whatever it is, you can't control it, but that it is tied to me making you angry, I'll try to not make you angry," he said hopefully.  
  
Nicholas, it's not that you make me angry that's creating this constant blue tension, it's that you make me feel so intensely about anything and everything, Kay thought sadly. Out loud, she agreed, "Okay Nicholas. We have to work together this summer; we should be civil. It seems as though we're not meant to remain totally indifferent to each other," Kay allowed, amending her past declaration that she would avoid him like the plague.  
  
"Oh no, Kay," Nicholas began, "It's got nothing to do with what's 'meant' or not meant to be; it just is for now, and let's try to keep it that way," he finished succinctly, determined to resist making the summer about anything but academic involvement.  
  
Kay felt saddened at his coldness, but then realized that he was constantly grappling with the same feelings that she was. Perhaps she wouldn't kill Simone, maybe just trip her up or something for tricking Kay into working with Nicholas this summer. Kay smiled benignly up at Nicholas, a plan forming in her mind. Romance novel heroine she was not, and she was not about to sit passively by while male stupidity and pride kept her from what she knew she was meant to have. "Let's get started then, shall we?" she said.  
  
Kay's smile unnerved Nicholas, as it was intended to do. "Uhhh, sure. I thought we could start with this list of books I made that were helpful for me when I was grading last year..."  
  
As they got to work, he brought over stacks of paper and joined her on the couch so they could look at things at the same time. Unobtrusively watching Nicholas as he prattled on about the virtues of Michel Foucault, Kay thought to herself that he didn't know what was about to hit him.  
  
Chapter Twenty-Six  
  
"Hey Kay, did we say that Weber went into the section on political theory or methodology?"  
  
"Let me check my notes," she said. They were sitting in his office which had, over the past two weeks, become the center of both their worlds as they chased down reading material and sources before the professor's classes were to begin the following week. Nicholas peeked in her direction over reading glasses and the massive amount of books stacked on his desk. Kay was searching frantically through what amounted to several reams of paper and strewing them all over the floor in the process. But Nicholas was even more concerned about how her leaning forward over his desk pushing things around in her tank top was giving him an improper view of her... well, things he didn't need to see when he was thinking about the theoretical place of Max Weber.  
  
"Uh, Kay, I think the notes are under the pizza," he said, unable to keep his gaze off her... things he didn't need to see.  
  
Kay smirked to herself. She hated using her body as a sight of desire when she wanted so much more for him, but guys were so stupid about these things, she had to meet him on his lower level. She lifted her eyes to him and caught him staring down her shirt before he hastily brought his gaze up. "Oh, that's right, thanks," she replied as she innocently pretended not to notice his bright red face.  
  
She sauntered over to the pizza box lying on the floor across the room and Nicholas immediately realized his mistake as she turned away from him and bent her long frame over to shuffle under the box, giving him ample view of her... well, other things he just didn't need to see.  
  
"Wait, Kay, I remember now, it's methodology," he stammered, making up an answer to his own question on the spot. For the past two weeks, despite of his conviction that things would remain completely platonic between them, Nicholas was being continually reminded that he had felt very strongly for Kay as an attractive person inside and out before the whole mess with that blue nonsense.  
  
Kay smirked as she took her time standing up straight. "Okay, Nicholas."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey Nicholas, I'm not feeling well, would you mind bringing me those notes so I don't have to get over to campus today? I really want to compile it all this weekend." Kay sniffled into the phone for added effect.  
  
"Oh hey, why don't I just e-mail them to you? That way you won't even have to retype them," he replied helpfully. His immediate reaction to her request was to scream yes, I'll be right there into the phone, and it was precisely for this reason that his more thoughtful reaction was to avoid going to Kay and Simone's place. Whatever Kay had was making her voice wonderfully husky and melodious and he didn't need to be exposed to that more than absolutely necessary either, so he rushed to add, "I'm e-mailing it now, you should have it in a few seconds, feel better," and then hung up the phone.  
  
Oh no you don't Nicholas, Kay thought. She hit the redial button on her phone. "Nicholas," she rasped in an even throatier voice, "I can't check email at home because Simone took the laptop to Earth until the computers there have been set up. Can you please bring the notes over? We're children of the 90's, I think I still remember how to use a type-writer," she added with a smirk in her voice.  
  
Simone, who had entered to catch Kay's plea, snorted. Sure, she had taken the laptop to Earth, but only because Kay had begged her to so she could make this call.  
  
Kay furtively signaled to Simone to keep the snorting to a minimum as she listened to Nicholas's reply. "Uh, sure Kay, I'll be over in a little bit."  
  
"Thanks, I really appreciate it," she responded in a voice meant to send shivers down his spine. She heard him drop the phone and nearly broke the snorting ban she had just imposed on Simone.  
  
"Uhh, so-so-ssss--- uh, yeah, s-sorry about that, the phone slipped," he stammered.  
  
I'll just bet it did, Kay thought to herself. "No problem, Nicholas, I'll see you in a little while," Kay said to him before she calmly placed the phone on the hook.  
  
"Kay, you should be ashamed of yourself, practically moaning his name into the phone like that," Simone admonished.  
  
"What?" Kay said innocently, still rasping a bit. "I really am sick, my throat is a bit sore,"  
  
"Sure, daahhhhhling," Simone replied, dropping her voice an octave and drawing out the word to imitate the way Kay was speaking. "All you have to do is have Charity stop by and as quick as she can give you a high-five, you'll be all better."  
  
"Yeah, but he doesn't know that," Kay replied simply. "If he wants to pretend like blue doesn't exist, I might as well manipulate the situation for the greater good."  
  
"Whatever you say, chica," Simone said, "I'm gonna head downstairs to make sure Shawn doesn't need me for anything... as long as you're done using me to work your feminine wiles on Nicholas," she added, laughing and slamming the door behind her before Kay could actually answer.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kay nearly tripped and fell in her rush to get the door after she heard Nicholas ring the doorbell. She remembered that she was supposed to be house-bound sick at the last minute and slowed her roll. All she needed was for Nicholas to see a broken ankle and then accidentally help heal it.  
  
She plopped down on her couch and called out making sure to capture the true soreness of her throat in her voice, "It's open, Nicholas."  
  
As he opened the door, Nicholas thought to himself, I wish she would stop saying my name in that voice. It's gonna be stuck in my head forever at this rate.  
  
"Nicholas, I really appreciate this," Kay said as he dropped a folder full of hand written notes on the coffee table in front of Kay. He'd never seen gym shorts and athletic socks look as great as they did on her. He stared as he tried to figure out why her ill-fitting and ill-advised gym shorts that must have belonged to her father when he was on the high school track team combined with chunky socks that may have been white five years ago before someone wore them in a mud pit captivated him so. He brought his gaze up slowly to her unmade up face, which had turned pink during his perusal of her attire.  
  
Even Kay's attempts to use her female assets to get what she wanted had its limits, and she had chosen to wear what she would have worn if she had really been sick for on this stage she had created. As his eyes met hers, she knew she'd done the right thing.  
  
Nicholas couldn't keep his emotions out of his gaze and couldn't remember why he would have wanted to. The funky socks and torn up shorts looked so wonderful on her because they were on his Kay. She could have worn a tight burlap sack that hugged every roll and curve and he would have wanted her as much as if she was wearing a dress designed to flatter her figure. As she continued to read all of this in his gaze, Kay was fighting to maintain control of her carefully set-up plan.  
  
"Kay, I..." Nicholas began as he moved towards the couch.  
  
Kay just barely won her internal battle, resisting painfully the pull of the blue that sparked between them. "Nicholas, you aren't ready," she interrupted, keeping her voice low and calm in opposition to her racing heart. She felt tears build in her eyes as she read the plea in his own eyes, struggling to keep his continuous rejection of blue, of her love, in her mind. She could feel the blue in both of them, fighting to be made one in their joining and fought for long minutes with all her ability to keep it in check while Nicholas watched. She felt the moment when the blue, the love, finally subsided in the face of her will, and mourned its absence even as she felt relief that the pain it had been causing also died down slowly.  
  
Nicholas, who had seen on her face what his own indecision had done to her, what his inability to accept that part of her was doing, was heart broken. The look of calm acceptance he was now reading added to his pain. He though about the last couple of weeks, the time they had spent together working on organizing sources, and a flicker of hope came unexpectedly. Kay saw this too, and grasped on to it as proof that her plan was working. Even if Nicholas refused to admit it, she knew he had the ability to accept the blue that came along with her and she would continue her battle against his own stubbornness for as long as it would take.  
  
Her will fortified, she continued. "Nicholas, you aren't ready," she repeated firmly, and then added clearly, "but you will be one day."  
  
He backed toward the door as though the very confidence that had first attracted him to her were now pushing him away. He just couldn't be as confident about what he perceived to be a relationship based on something beyond either of their control. They barely knew each other, after all...  
  
Kay couldn't read his expression anymore and, as Reese had often told her, that nonsense only happened in the movies for any extended period of time, but she could just guess that his pride and need to control everything had kicked in and was making him pull away. She decided to make a mini- recovery.  
  
"Hey, Nicholas, Simone's got some great tea downstairs, maybe that'll help with my throat. Give me a minute and I'll change, and then we can go downstairs to discuss these notes a bit before I get them presentable. Since you've come out here, I should be polite and treat you to a mug."  
  
He silently agreed with a nod and sat down on the sofa as she got up, his thoughts still churning in his head. It seemed like, whatever she thought about the future, Kay was willing to keep the status quo for now, and he'd just see where it led them. Chapter Twenty-Seven  
  
"Shawn, what's hap'nin'?" Kay rasped.  
  
"Nothing much, Kay," he rasped back. "Guess you'll be having tea this afternoon."  
  
She whacked him for imitating her. As she walked forward to seat herself, Shawn caught sight of Nicholas behind her.  
  
"Boss man! What's goin' on?" he said cheerfully.  
  
"Good grief, don't call me that, Shawn," Nicholas said, reddening slightly. "I'm not your boss." He suddenly remembered that he'd never quite explained his relationship to Haven and Earth to Kay. He turned to Kay, who had stopped her long strides across the room to hear the interchange, and caught her grin.  
  
"I'm not completely dense," she said off-handedly, as if she hadn't almost ended her friendship with Simone over the issue. "Simone told me awhile ago." She refused to tell him that she'd been in a fit of jealous rage at the time.  
  
"Dude, whoever cuts my checks in the Boss man to me," Shawn added in response to Nicholas's object at the title. "Simone is just....oomph." He whirled around and looked accusingly at Simone and the stack of menus she was wielding like a baseball bat. "Dude, I was just kidding, I knew you were there... Boss lady," he added lamely with a sheepish grin.  
  
"Just seat the folks like I give you checks to do," Simone replied. As Shawn rushed off, she said to Kay and Nicholas loud enough for Shawn to hear, "Don't tell the nut I'm going to make him Haven's general manager since I'm moving completely over to Earth when it opens... he might hurt himself in excitement." On cue, Shawn bumped into the bar counter and then quickly continued forward, an insanely goofy grin on his face.  
  
Kay and Nicholas shook their heads and chose a table in the back. Conversation was at first stilted, but soon, as they both got into the intricacies of the notes, awkwardness faded. As Simone looked on, she noted how well they worked together, how well their relationship worked, when they weren't so busy worrying about it not working.  
  
She was distracted from her observations by the sound of two voices calling her name. She grinned to greet the other goofy love birds in her life.  
  
"Hey Charity, hey Miguel." They were so in denial, she thought to herself.  
  
"What's up, Simone?" Charity asked, and then plowed on without waiting for an answer. "Miguel and I will seat ourselves; we're just having a snack while we discuss what we're gonna do with ourselves this summer when we're not in class. Rent doesn't pay itself after all, gotta get out there and..." Charity paused when she realized the strange look Simone was giving her.  
  
Simone turned to Miguel, who was grinning dopily at Charity and said to him, "Miguel, you go sit anywhere you want, I want to catch up with Charity for a minute."  
  
The two goofballs gave each other waves. From behind the bar where he was hiding out from Simone just in case she changed her mind about his promotion, Shawn made the international "I'm gonna be ill from all this mushiness" sign by pointing his finger down his throat.  
  
"Charity, you two have got to be the silliest thing going right now," she said idly to her friend. "What the hell have you been doing in that apartment of yours? Just festering together?"  
  
Charity glanced away from Miguel long enough to stick out her tongue at Simone. "Oh, shut up," she began. And then, with a little more seriousness in her voice, "Simone, I don't know what to do, none of this seems quite right with the whole Kay and Miguel thing, and then there's the fact that Miguel has no idea about the blue thing and look at how horribly Nicholas reacted to finding out about it..."  
  
Simone was giving her that look again, so Charity paused her babbling. "You're going to tell me that I'm jumping the gun, here, aren't you? And that I shouldn't worry so much about something that's completely hypothetical right now, anyway, right? And that...."  
  
"Charity! I haven't said anything yet, you won't let me!" Simone broke in. "I was going to say that I'm glad you're finally with someone who makes you stupid happy."  
  
"Yeah, but that's just the thing, Simone, we're not really together or anything. It's so weird, we just do everything together, and there's been no talk of anything official yet. I'm just so nervous and excited all the time! I brought him hear this afternoon, not just to talk about jobs, but to sort of gear the conversation towards making our relationship plain."  
  
Simone nodded thoughtfully. "I think you should do just that." Charity beamed and turned back to her constant watching of Miguel. Simone poked her and said, "Look doofus, get over there before Shawn really does choke himself behind the bar."  
  
Charity quickly walked to where Miguel was standing, and, as she walked up, she realized that he was talking to Kay who, unbelievably winked at her. He also noticed that Nicholas and Miguel were trying to burry the hatchet, but things were just way too awkward between them.  
  
"Hey Kay, hi Nicholas," she said, ending the bragging contest Miguel and Nicholas were engaged in about their weightlifting habits. She looked around quickly for a reason to leave Kay and Nicholas alone. She was also a party to Kay's little plan and didn't want to mess anything up.  
  
"I see you guys are working on some research stuff," she said, gesturing to the papers they had both spread on the table from the folder Nicholas had brought with him. "Miguel and I need to go chat about some other stuff, so we'll leave you to it," Charity finished brightly, pulling Miguel away from the table as Kay snickered.  
  
Nicholas looked at her bemused. "I just can't believe how blasé you are about your cousin and your ex-boyfriend carrying on like that."  
  
"What?" Kay said turning to him. "Oh, aren't they so cute together?"  
  
"Kay, they started flirting with each other the night you and he broke up. I know, I was there!" Nicholas said, refusing to allow her to change the subject. He was desperately afraid that she might be overcompensating and secretly upset about losing Miguel and he wanted to know for sure.  
  
She looked at him calmly, memories of that night coming back to her in a flood. Her gaze turned sad... for him. "I know you were there, Nicholas. And all I'm going to say about it is that they are meant for each other. They see it, I see it, and everyone sees it. It's not something that anyone can control, it just is." She interrupted his attempt to interrupt him. "No, don't say anything, just look at them and think about it without trying to reason it out." She switched gears to throw him off. "So Descartes... that's a mandatory reading, right?" She moved to pick up the corresponding notes and winced as she tipped over her mug on the way, spilling tea all over the pages strewn across the table. Nicholas was about to tell her to watch out as she jerkily reached for napkins behind her, but too late as the mug rolled towards the floor and shattered on impact. Kay, her momentum to turn around thrown off by the sound, reached down and immediately cut her hand deeply on the sharp ceramic pieces. She straitened and winced as pain shot up her arm and her hand began to bleed all over Simone's luxurious table cloth.  
  
"Shit," she said.  
  
Nicholas, for his part, was supremely astounded by her calmness and this flashed clearly across his face. Kay realized that her lack of panic at her own injury was going to cause mild panic in others if she didn't react more like someone who couldn't self-heal.  
  
She quickly willed a wild look into her eyes, even as she quickly grabbed a napkin to conceal how badly she was cut.  
  
She faked a stutter as she talked to a worried Nicholas. "I - I think I'm f-fi---fine, Nicholas." She continued to frantically wrap her hand. "I just need to rinse it off to see how bad it is, I'll just get Charity to come to the rest room with me."  
  
"Kay, I think you should have that checked out at the hospital; it looked pretty bad," he said, turning slightly green around the edges. Blood was definitely not his thing. He made himself reach for her arm.  
  
Kay realized too late what his aim was. His hand made contact with her skin, and she let the blue feeling wash over her, even as she felt the sense of dread that Nicholas was NOT going to like this. When it was over, she met his stunned eyes.  
  
Chapter Twenty-Eight  
  
"Kay, take off those napkins and let me see your hand," he said, a strange calmness in his voice, belied by the wildness in his eyes.  
  
"Nicholas, just remember, I told you it was nothing, a tiny cut, it's probably not even visible now," she finished lamely.  
  
"Kay, just let me see it," he said. People were starting to stare because of the noise and because of the brief change in lighting that the blue had caused. Simone, used to these types of things by now, jumped up and quickly gave her standard explanation for the blue flashes, this time creatively throwing in a plug for Earth.  
  
Kay slowly unwrapped her hand while everyone else was abuzz about Earth. Nicholas met her gaze. "Blue again?" he said, still in shock. She nodded in response, saying nothing, trying to will him to understand.  
  
"There was a cut on your hand," he began to reason out. "I know because I saw it when you did it and I saw all the blood. Now there is no cut on your hand and you were never upset about the cut on the hand in the first place. Which leads me to believe that you knew this would happen." He met her gaze for confirmation, and again she nodded.  
  
"Another part of this blue thing that I didn't know about, that I have no control over. We just make contact, and suddenly you're healed? I don't even have to consent. Kay, I hope you don't expect...."  
  
Her eyes flashed dangerously and the air in the room began to feel uncomfortable for everyone. Charity and Simone both immediately rushed toward their table. Kay snapped to Nicholas, "I tried to prevent this, although it blows my mind that you would mind HELPING me so much. You've got serious control issues Nicholas..." she ranted.  
  
"ME?!" he roared back. "You're the one who can't control her temper! Kay, your hair is almost standing up on end; you look like friggin' Steven King's Fire Starter. And you're telling me...."  
  
"Nicholas Foxworthy Crane, I'M telling you to lower your voice in my establishment this instant," Simone interjected. "Charity, make sure Kay is alright. Nicholas, you get out until you figure out how to behave yourself in public." As Nicholas began to sputter at this treatment, Simone ushered him to the front of Haven and then out the door, giving Shawn a signal to take over damage control on her way out. "Nicholas, what is the matter with you? Have you lost your mind?!"  
  
"Kay... that woman... she makes me lose my mind, Simone," he began. He took a deep breath. "Simone, I don't know how you can be around both of them, those cousins, with all that blue, with all that uncontrolled energy constantly sitting in the air. It's maddening," he said, pleading with his tone for her to understand.  
  
Simone softened, the threat to her baby, Haven, over. "You know, Crane, you've got serious control issues. Instead of thinking of it as a loss of control, why can't you think of it as something wonderful and spontaneous? A gift? You don't have to control something, have some sort of power over it, for it to bring you pleasure, Nicholas, for it to be a good thing." Simone thought about the ways in which his family had constantly attempted to control Nicholas's life. She felt sympathy for the handsome control freak in front of her, but she also bore witness to the pain he was causing her friend on a regular basis. She knew, though, that Kay wanted to handle this her way, and so she backed down. "You don't have to change your mind now, but, speaking of control and loss of it, Kay wasn't the only one causing a ruckus in there, buddy."  
  
Nicholas grinned sheepishly. "Well, just think of it this way.... Your loss is my loss when it comes to Haven and Earth."  
  
Chapter Twenty-Nine  
  
Kay couldn't take it anymore. Now that they had finished the supplementary reading list, Kay and Nicholas had taken an unspoken break from working together and seeing each other in general, and it was making her crazy. They had barely spoken since the incident at Haven two weeks earlier. In the department, Nicholas stayed holed up in his office, and Kay had moved into a cubicle in the hallway.  
  
"I'm going to call him, Simone," she declared.  
  
Simone dived for the phone. "No, Kay!" she shouted. "You have a good plan, Kay. Stick to it. Nicholas has got to come to terms with all of this on his own. You pushed as much as you can, you'll only make it worse for yourself now."  
  
Kay knew she was right, but briefly considered wrestling Simone for the phone anyway. As she sized up Simone's position and the easiest way to flip her onto the sofa, the phone rang, making her thoughts moot.  
  
Simone looked relieved; she had caught that mischievous glint in Kay's eyes. "That'll be Charity; the girl has flipped over something to do with Miguel. See, this is why I don't tell y'all my business, just melodrama all over the place," she continued muttering as she brought the receiver to her face. "Hey, girl, what's up?" she began.  
  
"How did you know it was me?" Charity asked over the phone line.  
  
"Because you and Kay seem to have the uncanny ability to want to act crazy at the same time. Kay's being goofy, I figured you'd call with a bit of goofiness," Simone reasoned.  
  
Charity laughed, incapable of arguing the veracity of Simone's point. "Too true. I'm going to come over in a few, just have some munchies ready, you guys have got to help me with Miguel." Charity hung up, already halfway out the door by the time Simone realized that the conversation was over.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Charity, what's the matter with you? I thought you and Miguel had finally decided that you are together; what could be the problem now?" Simone asked her friend as they both flopped on the sofa. Kay joined them.  
  
"It is driving us both insane; I can't stand it anymore, you guys have to help us," Charity finished melodramatically.  
  
"Well, cousin dear, it would help if we knew what the problem was," Kay said sardonically.  
  
"Okay, Kay, don't get offended or anything, but I just don't want Miguel acting like that weirdo Nicholas is behaving," Charity began.  
  
Kay snorted and replied, "You're not offending me by calling a spade a spade. Nicholas is acting like a weirdo."  
  
"Yeah, well, it's all because of blue and so I haven't..." Charity paused and a sheepish look came over her features. "I haven't umm... well, I haven't told him about it yet," she finished on a mumble.  
  
"WHAT?!" Simone and Kay yelled at once as Charity winced.  
  
"But how is that possible, Charity? You don't have to tell someone you love about blue, they figure it out soon enough when you...." Kay faded out as she thought of something. She gave Charity a sharp look. "No! Charity, please tell me that you have not been...."  
  
Simone got it and shrieked with laughter. "Charity, he must think you're the biggest prude on earth. You haven't been touching your live-in- boyfriend?!"  
  
Charity groaned and buried her head in a pillow that she had been clutching on her lap. "It's so horrible, you guys, you cannot imagine."  
  
"Charity, that has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. The air crackles when Nicholas and I get mad at each other, we don't even have to be touching. You can't tell me that everything has been going so peachy keen over at Chez Shrew that you haven't gotten in an argument with Miguel."  
  
"Oh my God, that is so hard to explain. We don't have to even be mad at each other, the err... uh... tension, shall we say, is so high since we aren't touching that us being in the same room for extended periods of time makes our hair stand on end," in spite of herself, Charity let out a giggle as she continued. "I think I have him slightly convinced that our apartment has abnormal microwaves or something, whatever the hell that means. Thank God Miguel isn't a physics major."  
  
Simone giggled with Charity, as Kay turned pensive. "You know, Charity," she began thoughtfully; "I don't think you've got Nicholas read properly. It's not the blue that freaks him out, it's the loss of control over the situation that makes him freak out so badly. I don't think Miguel's such a control freak that he wouldn't learn to accept it," she finished.  
  
"I think, Kay's right, Charity," Simone chimed in. "And if you don't want me making out of context references to microwaves whenever Miguel is around, you should work this out, because it is just too funny to let go, girl."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So, Charity, I take it that you still haven't told Miguel," Kay said a couple of weeks later to her cousin as they practiced using their powers. They figured out that with practice, they have been able to put the blue to less love-intense related uses... such as cleaning Miguel and Charity's apartment without lifting a finger.  
  
"How can you tell?" Charity asked, attempting to sip her milkshake without breaking tactile contact with Kay.  
  
"Because that pipe cleaner is doing a number on that sink over there; I figure it's symbolic of all that tension you've been letting build up," Kay snickered.  
  
Charity turned furiously red and concentrated. The pipe cleaner went back into its cabinet, the blue haze around it fading, and the vacuum cleaner started up, glowing with the blue power that was propelling it. "It is not," Charity began to protest. "Oh what the hell, Kay, I have to tell him, otherwise, I'm gonna explode the next time I see him from pure frustration, and seeing little bits of frustrated me all over the place has got to be more traumatic than finding out about something as useful as this blue thing is turning out to be."  
  
Kay had a thought, "Charity, are you sure Miguel isn't coming home anytime soon?"  
  
"Nah, Simone has him helping Chad set up things over at Earth, he should be there for awhile," Charity said idly.  
  
"Yeah, but Simone is tricky, you never know when she's pulling..." Kay's voice faded as the door to the apartment opened.  
  
"Simone sent me home early, something about a lighting problem that needed to be worked out before..." Miguel began to announce as he burst into the apartment. He shut up when he noticed the Hoover hoovering happily in its own blue light behind the sofa Kay and Charity were lounging on.  
  
Kay and Charity abruptly dropped each others hands, and the vacuum cleaner ceased its activity.  
  
"IT WAS REAL," Miguel screams. He looked at Charity with slightly wild eyes. "You kept telling me it was microwaves or something, but all this time you were controlling it!" His gaze whipped to Kay. "And you knew too!! Is this some sort of sick game the two of you play? Drive Miguel crazy?"  
  
Charity looked ill. Kay, sensing that she would be no help if she stuck around, quietly left the apartment.  
  
"Well?" Miguel said to Charity. "What the hell has been going on around here?"  
  
Charity, still not making eye contact with Miguel, began to explain, but was quickly interrupted.  
  
"Dammit, however you're doing it, would you stop it now?" Miguel said, furious as he felt the air around him snap and crackle with tangible blue light.  
  
Charity winced at his tone and forced her own voice to remain calm. "I'm not doing it this time, Miguel, you are," she began. "If you would just sit down and try to listen calmly, I can explain," she finished.  
  
Miguel, hearing the plea in her voice, even as she tried to hide it, attempted to regain control of his temper. The tension in the room became less palpable, and he relaxed even more in response. He sat across from her and raised his eyebrows expectantly.  
  
Charity took the next hour to explain things to Miguel, much as she had with Kay, and ended by adding, "So when are you moving out? Because, I'll be damned if I'm giving up this great apartment just because you can't handle a little bit of blue haze around every now and again, I don't care if you did find the place, Miguel, I'm just not leaving and..."  
  
Miguel grabbed her hand, and, as blue ripped through them both, he kissed her thoroughly. "Charity, I'm never leaving you," he said by way of an answer to her first question. She grinned back and the entire apartment glowed blue as they sealed the deal with another heart searing kiss.  
  
From below on the street, Kay looked up and grinned when she saw the blue heat radiating from her cousins apartment. Her faith that she and Nicholas too will make amends was strengthened, and she walked back to her and Simone's place with her resolve to wait out his stubbornness reborn.  
  
Chapter Thirty  
  
"Well, Kay, there's only a month of summer left and this last part of your research work with me this summer. Should be a piece of cake, actually, since you've already done it for me once." Kay was standing in front of her Professor, anxiously awaiting her last assignment. Despite her resolve to wait out Nicholas until he realized that they were meant for each other, she was rapidly becoming aware that he was just as determined to keep things between them platonic.  
  
"So, uh, what is it you want me to do?" Kay asked, hoping that it wouldn't require too much of her time. She had to have time to plot to help herself and Nicholas out of the friend zone.  
  
"I need for you and Nicholas to come up with another supplemental reading list for a new class I'm trying out in the fall. It's on identity and awareness. I know you've got some expertise with this Kay with your group, so you'll be taking a more central role in this. Don't let Nicholas boss you around," the professor said, winking.  
  
Kay tried to keep the smirk off her face. "Oh, I won't, trust me," she said, and added to herself, I'm gonna take control in more ways than one.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So where should we start, boss lady?" Nicholas asked Kay as they got to work. He'd taken the news of them working closely together again with surprising aplomb; evidently, he was getting used to putting his feelings aside. Kay knew she was going to have to shake that up a bit.  
  
"Well, a wise man once told me that we all should start by confronting our own privilege," she began, grinning at him.  
  
In spite of himself, Nicholas grinned as well, thinking back to the first time they had met.  
  
flashback  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You guys, the problem is that people just don't recognize their privilege," Kay was in her element. A captive audience, agreeing with her every word as she ranted about the unawareness of her peers on campus was all she needed to forget her falling woes. "If people understood the concept of majority-ness, the state of being in the majority and how that is an identity in itself, instead of simply hoping that the minority will one day overcome identity itself to conform."  
  
"Excuse me, but may I ask what your background is?" a voice from the audience asked.  
  
"I'm sorry?" Kay jerked out of the heightened state of understanding she always felt when speaking about what she believed in. "Who asked that question?"  
  
A tall, slim, but well-built blonde man stood up slowly and replied, "I did. I was just wondering, what is your background.. Uhhh, Kim, is it?"  
  
Kay recovered quickly, "No, it's Kay. Kay Bennett. And please, introduce yourself and clarify your question for the rest of us," she replied smartly.  
  
"My name is Nicholas Crane. And what I mean by background is that I was wondering about your family's economic status when you were growing up. You're speaking to us about privilege, but we haven't heard anything that suggests you've confronted your own."  
  
Startled whispers and sudden snorts of laughter shot through the audience. Kay, for her part, kept her composure, while internally fuming at the audacity of this Nicholas Crane.  
  
"I don't see how that could possibly be relevant but."  
  
"Oh, but surely you do, Kay Bennett," Nicholas grinned broadly, almost startling Kay into responding with a smile of similar wattage. "You must see that your life, if you have managed to confront your own privilege, could serve as a wonderful demonstration to the rest of us as to how we may move beyond simple guilt to productivity and progress."  
  
Trained by years of social marginalization and the nerve that comes along with it, Kay responded, "That's a wonderful point, and I'm pleased that you've paid so much attention to my presentation. My background is indeed one of economic privilege and I confront it through recognition and constant interrogation of my motives."  
  
"A wonderful, politician's answer, Kay Bennett," Nicholas' smile almost imperceptibly transformed into a smirk. "But since you culturally aware types are always into action and affecting change, how do you turn that interrogation into productivity?"  
  
Knowing when to quit while ahead, Kay equivocated. "Again, wonderful and perceptive question, Nicholas, but one that will have to wait for our next meeting," Kay lifted her wrist and glanced obviously at her watch. "Yes, we have now reached the end of this discussion session, but I look forward to seeing you all here at the meeting next week. This meeting of AWARE is hereby dismissed."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
end flashback  
  
Nicholas snapped back to the present, shaking the image of a vulnerable and somehow innocent looking Kay from his mind. As he gazed at the woman sitting across from him, he realized that she'd gotten older in the year since they'd met. He had the unsettling thought that maybe he'd had as much to do with that aging as anything else. He tried to remember where their present conversation had left off.  
  
"So Nicholas, can we assume, without making an ass out of either of us, that we've both questioned our own privilege enough to proceed now?" Kay said, gently reminding him of the topic at hand.  
  
He smiled back at her. "Yeah, Kay, so what's next?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Look, Nicholas, you cannot possibly believe that if you just make people aware of how the system has them duped into submission, they'll overthrow the government. I think people are willingly duped, and you'd be hard pressed to prove otherwise."  
  
"Listen, Kay, I'm going to have to go with Chomsky on this one, there are structures in place that prevent people from realizing these things..." Nicholas argued back. They had already decided to throw Chomsky's infamous text, Manufacturing Consent into the curriculum, but they'd gotten side tracked debating the central issues of the book.  
  
"Oh come on now, Nicholas, let's be a little nuanced with our arguments here. You know well enough that with post-structuralism we've been able to look beyond one way power structures..."  
  
Nicholas smirked. "If I recall, correctly Kay, you once had to come to me to understand what post-structuralism is really about..."  
  
flashback  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So what did you want to know about post-structuralism?" Nicholas asked after they had gotten settled in.  
  
Unprepared with a question pertaining to the supposed reason for their coffee break, and becoming more aware of the awkward situation she had impulsively thrown herself into, Kay stalled. "Hey, what's with the business first? Let's at least order. Look, here's the waiter."  
  
Nicholas gave her a funny look, but placed his order. Instead of trying to press her to ask a question after their orders were taken care of, he simply looked at her expectantly.  
  
Oh shit. Kay thought. What now? Well, at the very least, stop talking to yourself and talk to him! "So uh. yeah, post-structuralism. I guess I was wondering how to accurately describe a theory that purposefully defies being pinned down."  
  
Nicholas smiled a strange smile at the question, pleased with her insight, and yet slightly puzzled. "Kay, that's a great question. only. you uh, asked the same question in class two weeks ago."  
  
The same thought hit Kay again... Oh shit. Better turn the tables before he figures out exactly how full of it I was when I came up with that phony excuse to get together. "Well, Mr. Crane, it seems as though you pay more attention to what I say than I do. What's up with that?" Kay knew there was nothing to her statement, but at least now the answering was up to him.  
  
Nicholas blushed. He had, in fact, internalized every single comment and question Kay asked in class. It was clear that her leadership of AWARE was not unfounded, she was quite easily one of the brightest students in the class, always interrogating the material, rather than simply memorizing the lecture. Of course, he wasn't quite ready to let Kay know how well-versed he was in her class participation  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
end flashback  
  
Kay grinned sadly at Nicholas as she remembered that first intense night together along with him. "Yeah well, things change, Nicholas, don't they?" she said.  
  
Nicholas looked thoughtful. "They certainly do, Kay."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay, we've almost made it through the whole syllabus, but now we've gotta stick some current events in so they really get all this theory," Nicholas said.  
  
"Yeah, you're right," Kay said thoughtfully. "I mean, I would say we could pick an issue and talk about it, but that wouldn't really give the students a sense of the totality of what we're talking about."  
  
"Agreed. We've got to think of something that ties in everything, with a variety of issues. They've got three weeks for current events before the exam, it can be pretty broad..." Nicholas paused as he thought.  
  
Kay was immediately distracted by how handsome he looked. His strong profile, softened by thought, the quirky way some of his hair in the front stuck straight up. He looked positively regal sitting across from her. A thought hit her. "Regal..." she began to laugh loudly.  
  
Nicholas looked at her perplexed. "What did I do now that's so funny, Kay?"  
  
"You just looked so regal sitting over there, so presidential... I was just thinking that we should do the section on Bush, he's so unaware, the students will have a field day picking apart his presidency, and they'll cover most current events that way, too." She tried to keep her giggles down to a minimum, but failed miserably. Soon, Nicholas was laughing along with her as he remembered...  
  
flashback  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Well, I suppose my charm has its obvious appeal, thus explaining you calling me for 'help'" Nicholas wiggled his eye brows and made quote signs with his fingers as he said "help." "So, why don't we cut through this charade and talk about what's really important here." Kay had a brief moment of panic, until he continued with a comical smirk, "Me. I'm what's really important. Go ahead, ask me anything. As long as it's to do with me."  
  
Kay couldn't help it, she started laughing. "Why Mr. Crane, I had no idea you were so modest," she said. "Let's see. why don't you tell me where you're from?"  
  
"Here and there," Nicholas replied with a wink.  
  
Kay immediately sensed a challenge. "Oh really? Where were you born?"  
  
Nicholas smiled, "It's a sad, sad story really. Quite unfortunate," he said melodramatically as he sighed in obvious angst over the story of his birth. "I was born in Paris while my mother was visiting my aunt."  
  
Kay was confused, but persistent. "Nicholas, what in the world? What's so 'unfortunate' about that?"  
  
Nicholas grinned even more, knowing she was gonna love this punch line. "You see, dear Kay, the location of one's birth doesn't eliminate them from having any occupation on earth. with the exception of one." He paused, waiting for her to realize what he was talking about. "It's one that I have long felt that I was destined for, one suitable to my own greatness. And alas, because I was born in Paris, I will never be able to share this greatness with the world."  
  
Kay's immediate burst of laughter was enough to make everyone around her grin, even though they had no clue what she was laughing about. "You're such a SCHNERD, Nicholas!"  
  
He laughed with her. "You scoff at my dream of being President of the United States?" he said with pretended offense.  
  
"No, I scoff at your presumption that the world is missing out on 'your greatness' just because you'll never be President!" Kay managed through her laughter.  
  
"Well, see if I share anything else with you. Although, I suppose I must. It's bad enough that I can't share this with the world in the proper capacity, I suppose I can continue to share me with you."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
end flashback  
  
"You lied to me, that evening, you know," Kay said softly, bringing them both out of their reverie.  
  
"What? Wait, when did I lie?" Nicholas asked, defenses up immediately.  
  
"You said that you'd continue to share yourself with me, and you haven't done so since that night," she replied simply. "You begin to, get scared, and then stop."  
  
Nicholas was beginning to get angry, feeling manipulated. "Listen, Kay, you know where I stand with all of this..." he began.  
  
"Yes, I know," Kay said calmly. "What you don't seem to know is that, we could have been spending all of this time being angry at each other, all of this energy wasted, getting to know each other. Instead, you cut yourself off from me because you couldn't control everything." She looked around the room as blue light danced in the air, a product of his growing rage. "And with all of your attempts to maintain control, you still seem to be losing it," she finished quietly. Done with him for the day, she left him alone in his office.  
  
Nicholas reigned in his temper as Kay left, leaving only him and his thoughts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Kay, I know you're excited, but slow down before you..." Nicholas said to Kay's back. He cut off the end of his sentence as he watched her bump into a desk that was poking out of a classroom and crash to the ground. "Hurt yourself," he finished lamely.  
  
He knelt beside a wincing Kay. "Kay, I know you're excited about finishing your first full syllabus, but you can't go running through the department like that, people always prop open doors during the summer with..."  
  
"With desks, thank you Nicholas," Kay finished for him. "Desk, meet Nicholas, Nicholas, meet desk. I've just become well acquainted with desk here, you see, Nicholas?" Kay said dryly from her position on the floor. She gasped then, as pain radiated through her ankle. She made eye contact with Nicholas, who was still kneeling beside her. "I'm afraid you're going to have to pretend like you're not afraid of touching me for a moment to help me out here. Otherwise, I think my ankle is sprained and it'll be a trip to the hospital."  
  
Nicholas returned her gaze, realizing what it was taking out of her to ask for his help after the horrible way he'd treated her last time they were in a similar situation. "Kay, I didn't really mind helping you... I don't mind helping you now, it's just that..."  
  
"Yeah, I got, it, Nicholas, you've got control issues. Can you please take my hand now before someone sees us?"  
  
He did as she asked, and the blue surged through both of them into her ankle. She breathed deeply as she felt her muscles re-knitting, stress being removed from her ankle bone. She met his gaze once again. "Thank you," she said simply.  
  
"You're welcome," he replied. "Only next time, don't go running down these halls, got it?" he asked with a grin.  
  
"Got it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So uh, what else can we, I mean, you do?" Nicholas asked Kay. They were in his car, on the way to have the syllabus and supplemental reading list bound. The professor didn't require it, but Kay was so impressed with herself about the whole thing that she wanted to keep her own preserved copy.  
  
"What are you talking about, Nicholas? I'm already having the thing professionally bound, do you think I should have it gold leafed?" Kay was giving him a funny look.  
  
"No, I meant... umm... what else can that whole blue thing do? I mean, besides cover up that cute klutz thing you've got going on?"  
  
Kay grinned. "You think my clumsiness is cute, Nicholas?"  
  
"Well, you know, when a puppy runs into a full length window it doesn't know is there and bounces back, it's kinda funny and cute. Your clumsiness is cute like that," he snickered at her.  
  
"Oh shut up. Anyway, my cute klutz thing isn't nearly as impressive as Charity and I cleaning an entire apartment together."  
  
"You clean your apartment with the blue thing? You can control it like that?"  
  
Kay looked at him as if he were a moron. "What, you think we just go around letting blue sparks fly without control? We're learning to reign it in and put it to work. It's why you're the only one who sets of the blue in the air when we have an argument these days. I've learned to control the result of my emotions," she said loftily.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Nicholas asked her.  
  
"Yes," Kay replied, sure of herself.  
  
"So if I were to say, lean over and tickle you now, you'd be able to control the blue that would result?" he asked.  
  
This threw a pause into Kay's self-righteousness. "Umm... well, you're driving now, so we'll never know."  
  
Nicholas smirked at her. "Sure, Kay, whatever you say." But he continued to think over what she had said about her and Charity controlling the blue they shared with practice.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So, how are your cousin and good old Miguel doing?" Nicholas asked Kay. They had just turned in their final product to the professor and were at Haven celebrating over Chai.  
  
"Oh, they're great," Kay said, grinning as she thought about Miguel and Charity's mutual dopiness about each other.  
  
"So, uh, he handles the whole blue thing okay?" Nicholas asked, attempting to be innocent with his inquiry.  
  
Kay looked at him, her smirk letting him know that she wasn't falling for his pretense of off-handedness. "Yeah, it's a pretty funny story how he found out, actually. Charity and I were cleaning their apartment one day and Simone had told Charity..."  
  
When Kay finished the story, she and Nicholas were both laughing.  
  
"That is so like Simone to manipulate them into solving their problem," Nicholas said.  
  
Kay smiled at him. "Sort of like she manipulated us this summer?"  
  
He smiled back. "I suppose so, Kay," he allowed. "Although, ultimately, it's up to us to really solve our own problem. Simone just gives people a push in the right direction."  
  
Kay desperately tried to keep her pulse rate in check. "So uh... you think we're moving in the right direction?" she asked him.  
  
Nicholas gave her question serious thought before answering. "I think that's a distinct possibility." Chapter Thirty-One  
  
"Kay, I absolutely forbid you not to come," Simone began.  
  
"Simone, get a grip," Kay started to reply.  
  
"I will not get a grip, you have to be there, Kay, I'll never forgive you if you don't come."  
  
"Simone, you can't come in, throw an invitation into my hand and then forbid me not to come, especially since..."  
  
Simone again interrupted her. "Kathleen Bennett, I don't care if Nicholas is coming, you're going to be at Earth's grand opening if I have to drag you there myself." Simone stomped on the last syllable to emphasize her point.  
  
"SIMONE," Kay yelled at her friend, grinning to show she wasn't really angry. "I'm going to the opening, I was just saying that there's no reason for you to forbid me not to come, because there's no way on Earth I'd miss such an important event," she finished.  
  
Charity snorted from Simone's sofa at the horrible pun. She decided to join the conversation. "Yeah, Simone, Kay was just telling me who she's going with," she added mysteriously.  
  
Simone looked from Kay to Charity incredulously. "No friggin' way!" She shouted. "How is this possible? I didn't even..." she mumbled the rest of her sentence with a slightly chagrinned look.  
  
"What was that Simone? Were you going to say that you didn't even have to MANIPULATE us into going together? Yes, I'm going with Nicholas, and no, we haven't worked everything out yet, and yes, we're planning on it, and finally, NO, you had nothing to do with it." At Charity's second snort from the sofa and Simone's sharp look, Kay amended her statement, "Okay, almost nothing," she allowed. "Thanks for pushing us, Simone, we did need it."  
  
Simone grinned. "No problem. At least now that you and Charity have finally gotten most of your drama worked out, I can take time off from matchmaking to enjoy my relationship with Chad," she added.  
  
"Oh yes, do tell," said Charity, getting up to drag Simone over to join her on the sofa.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Simone, this place looks awesome," Kay said as she walked in, "Although you might have told me about the atmosphere. I look like I'm trying to match the ceiling," Kay said wryly. She looked down at her electric blue baby tee that she had paired with a dark blue A-line skirt and electric blue ballet slippers for comfortable dancing, and then back up at the ceiling, which was threaded with the same blue in pulsating lights that acted out the music that Chad was pumping through the club.  
  
"Tell me about it," came a voice behind her. Kay turned around and grinned at her cousin who had just walked in on Miguel's arm. Charity was sporting a tube top the same color as Kay's tee, which she had paired with a tight black miniskirt and high patent leather black boot.  
  
"Good grief, woman, I think you forgot clothes when you walked out of the apartment," Kay whistled at her cousin.  
  
"Oh shut-up," Charity said as she blushed. "I figured I'd go all out for Simone's special night. Besides, I do believe that our hostess wins the least dressed competition tonight," she finished.  
  
Simone shrugged nonchalantly as all eyes perused her get-up. She wore blue ribbons weaved intricately through her locks, mingling with the straps at the nape of her neck that seemed to be the only reason her top stayed in place. The straps circled her neck and wove under her arms to tie again at her nape, leaving her back totally bare. Simone's short shorts were boldly the same blue as her top. She finished the look with a pair of high-heeled Mary Jane's that looked suspiciously like the ones that Carrie Bradshaw had just swooned over on the most recent Sex in the City.  
  
"Don't stand there ogling me, go have a blast, then come tell me what you think!" Simone ushered her friends into her new establishment.  
  
Kay stood back, looking around anxiously as Charity and Miguel eagerly joined the growing crowd on the dance floor.  
  
"Simone, have you..." she began.  
  
"Yeah, um, he's on the second level, right above where we're standing," Simone answered. Kay looked up and saw only more ceiling. She looked back at Simone questioningly.  
  
Simone laughed. "It's the VIP area, so it's tricky to get to, or even see," she responded. "Walk straight to the middle of the dance floor and stand on the four black tiles you see there. It's an elevator that's activated from the DJ booth. Chad knows you're going up, so you shouldn't have a problem."  
  
Kay looked at Simone as if she'd lost her mind. What kind of secretive VIP area could you get to in the middle of the dance floor? Knowing that Simone generally had good sense about these things, though, she followed her friend's directions. As she stepped onto the four tiles, Chad winked at her and she nearly tipped over as a railing rose out of the floor to encircle her and provide something for her to hold onto. She quickly realized that there were mirrors placed cleverly around the elevator so that the people dancing around her as she rose to the second level only saw themselves reflected back unless they looked carefully.  
  
As she rose higher and higher, and finally about the high ceilings of the first floor, she was struck with a sense of déjà vu. The second floor of Earth looked suspiciously like the ground floor of Haven complete with a bar running the length of one wall, only its décor featured funky blues and silvers, with black sofa's and other seating to keep the colors from getting too overwhelming. Glass coffee tables with ebony black trim made Kay wince as she wandered carefully through the dim room towards where Nicholas was seated with someone.  
  
Nicholas remained seated, while the other man stood up as they both saw Kay approaching. The man said, "Kay, I presume," in an overly cultured voice. "Please excuse my son for his lack of manners, he was taught to stand when in the presence of a lady."  
  
Kay grinned at Nicholas, who snorted and muttered, "Kay's no lady, Father,"  
  
Kay looked from father to son. She decided to stick with her own parental training and be civil... for the moment. It occurred to her that the controlling man in front of her was quite possibly largely responsible for Nicholas's control issues. "Mr. Crane, Nicholas knows that I find such traditions disempowering for women, although I appreciate your sentiments, all the same."  
  
To her surprise and clearly to Nicholas's as well, Julian Crane sat down and laughed boisterously. "Well said, Kay, well said. I hope you won't find it too disempowering to join us for drinks that we've already taken the liberty of ordering."  
  
Kay grinned back and made herself comfortable on the loveseat with Nicholas. "No, Mr. Crane, not Too disempowering."  
  
"Oh, please, stop flirting with each other. Kay is my date tonight, Father."  
  
Both Kay and Nicholas were astonished again when they detected a tinge of red color Julian's skin in the dim light. "Right you are, Fox," he replied affably. "This venture of yours is providing me with plenty of entertainment."  
  
"So you approve of all of this, Mr. Crane?" Kay boldly asked.  
  
"Of course, my dear," Julian began, "And at the risk of being accused of flirting with you still, please, call me Julian. Mr. Crane is my father, and you calling me by that moniker makes me feel like I'm as stodgy as he is."  
  
Kay, never the one to hold her tongue, responded, "Well, Julian, I grew up in Harmony, and I must admit that your reputation does you ill."  
  
Nicholas choked on his rum and coke and grinned broadly at his father, waiting for his explanation.  
  
Julian reddened again. "Well, you've picked a spunky one, haven't you, Fox?"  
  
Nicholas responded, "She picked me, mostly, Father, and please, do answer her implied question." Nicholas was not about to let his father off that easily.  
  
"Yes, well, I must admit that business has often made me a bit ruthless," he paused as Kay snorted into her peach martini. "As I was saying, yes, business often makes me a bit stand-offish, but I once owned an establishment such as this in my youth, and helping Simone and Fox get this place off the ground has been rejuvenating."  
  
"You've been helping them all along?" Kay asked, surprised.  
  
"Why yes, Fox didn't tell you?"  
  
Kay slanted her eyes at Nicholas and responded, "No, Fox didn't."  
  
"I suppose it's not the easiest thing for him to talk about, especially since we haven't always gotten along. My father sent him off to boarding school, and I never protested as much as I should have. You see, he and Simone know each other because her mother and I used to run the first Haven together, although it was a jazz club then. Although the relationship ended while we were still fairly young, we always made sure to keep in touch. Fox and Simone grew up knowing of each other, and met at the university."  
  
"Why do you keep calling him Fox?" Kay asked.  
  
Nicholas sputtered a bit, and jumped in before his father could respond. "It's just a family nickname."  
  
Julian saw his chance to get back at his son for all the awkwardness he had enabled. "Oh, I see you haven't told Kay your full name, son. It's a shame, such a noble name. Nicholas Wentworth Foxworthy Crane. Let's see, son, you've got a lot of names, did I get them all?"  
  
Nicholas squirmed in the loveseat. "Yes, Father, I believe you did."  
  
"Oh no you didn't," came Simone's voice from behind Kay. "Isn't your last name technically hyphenated? Didn't Ivy give you her last name as well?"  
  
Nicholas groaned as Kay laughed. "Oh wait, I know this one. Your name is Nicholas Wentworth Foxworthy Winthrop-Crane? Good grief, and I thought I was being formal by using your full first name."  
  
Simone jumped in to save her friend. "Julian, mom wanted me to send you her best wishes. We can go to my office in the basement if you want to conference call her; I know she'd appreciate hearing from you. Nicholas, Kay, go down there and dance, I command you!"  
  
They all complied with her wishes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wow, Simone, that was amazing," Charity said. They were all draped along the bar on the first floor attempting to recover from a long night of dancing. The club was officially closed for the night, and even Chad had put on a mix tape to relax with his friends at the bar. Julian, after conversing with Eve Russell on the phone for hours, had retired to his hotel room, leaving "the young-uns" to their debauchery, as he put it.  
  
A loud banging came from the bolted door. "Don't worry about it, the bouncers stay late to ward off any stragglers attempting to get back in," Simone said.  
  
Kay and Charity looked thoughtful and then they both jumped up. "Simone, open the door!" Kay said as she scrambled to put her slippers back on. "It's Jess and Reese!"  
  
Simone reached behind the bar and pressed a button that released the electronic bolt on the door.  
  
Jess and Reese rushed over to the bar, greeting everyone. "Oh man, we drove for so long, I thought we'd never get here," said Reese after everyone had greeted each other. "Jess likes to keep driving in the wrong direction for hours rather than stopping for directions." Jess whacked him playfully on the shoulder. Blue sparks flew up as a result, and eyebrows rose all the way down the bar.  
  
Jess looked at her friends and family in bewilderment. "What? You guys must know about this. Charity, you and Miguel are together, Kay, you and Nicholas, right? Why are you guys acting so weird? Did the wires from here to Harmony get totally crossed?"  
  
Kay was the first to speak up. "So wait, you two experience the whole blue thing together? And there wasn't any drama or anything about it?"  
  
Jess and Reese looked at her strangely. "Why would there be drama? Don't you think it's kick ass?" Reese asked. When he got no response, he turned around and grabbed Jess into a bear hug. And the two of them rapidly rose into the air, the blue that surrounded them blending perfectly with the soft blue atmosphere set by the club lighting. They spun, and then started to dance to the music, all of this happening five feet off the ground. Jess looked down at their stunned faces and laughed. "You've got to be kidding me. Maybe staying in this college town all summer has made you guys too stuffy. Isn't this the coolest?" Her shining eyes met Reese's and they slowly floated to the ground.  
  
Jess was beginning to get worried about the lack of response from the crowd of familiar faces around her. "What's the matter with you guys?" she asked.  
  
Simone grinned at Jess and replied, "Nothing, these guys have been acting stupid about the whole blue thing for almost a year now; they're just stunned to see someone not acting as stupid as they have been."  
  
Kay, Nicholas, Miguel, and Charity made indignant sounds in response to this.  
  
Simone ignored them and grabbed one of Jess's hands and one of Reese's. "So, Kay and Charity could make me feel better if I got between them. Can you two do that floating thing with me?" Jess, Simone, and Reese ran to the middle of the club to try this out, as if they were playing with a new toy.  
  
Charity began to giggle. Miguel took one look at her and grabbed her hand to join the three goofing off in the middle of the club. Chad wandered over to Simone, tickling the bottom of her shoe-less feet as she gyrated, floating in the air. She giggled and allowed herself to fall into his arms. She and Chad began their own dance, on a plane not only physically separate from their friends, but spiritually as well.  
  
Kay and Nicholas watched this all apprehensively. Kay was normally the one who broke such silences, but she refused to tonight, knowing that Nicholas was the only thing keeping them from joining the fun.  
  
He began in a casual tone that belied both their state of minds, "Hey Kay, wouldn't you say we know each other pretty well, by now?"  
  
Wary of any new games he might be playing, she stuck to a one word answer. "Yes."  
  
"And wouldn't you say that we've grown fairly close over the past few months working together."  
  
Again she chose simplicity. "Yes."  
  
"And this whole blue thing, it's kinda convenient, what with all the cleaning and everything."  
  
She looked at him, amazed. "Yes."  
  
"And I mean, let's be honest here, both of us lose all control when we're together, the only real peace comes when we're not denying out attraction, right?"  
  
"Yes," Kay was unable to keep the huskiness of tears out of her voice at this point.  
  
Nicholas himself simply allowed the tears to fall down his face as he continued. "And we really do love each other, don't we, Kay? Not just because of something convenient like this blue business, but because we've grown to love and value one another, right?"  
  
Kay still maintained her grip on her tears, allowing them out only through her one word responses. "Yes."  
  
"So you wanna umm... go steady with me?"  
  
Kay grinned broadly and finally allowed her tears to fall. "Yes, you big Schnerd, I'll go steady with you."  
  
The song playing suddenly stopped, and both Kay and Nicholas turned to the dance floor. They watched as a giggling Charity and Jess held hands tightly, melodramatically waving their hands through the air. Another record cut on as Chad winced as the loud scratching sound it made before the rich tones of Mary J. Blige soared out of the speakers. Charity waved her hands again and four microphones flew into her hands. She tossed one each to Jessica and Simone, and beckoned Kay to join them. A soft blue light surrounded the women as they slowly rose into the air, belting out "Real Love" as the men they loved watched and marveled at the power the women who loved them exuded.  
  
The End 


End file.
